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Kajal

Children often surprise us with the things they say. There have been television programmes such as “Kids Say the Darndest Things” and books like Children’s Letters to God that make us smile. But sometimes a child’s words do something very different. They reveal a world that no child should have to know.

Every morning, on a narrow stretch of pavement outside the Kalka Temple, a mother performs a small act of love. Before the day begins and before the struggle for survival resumes, she carefully ties ribbons into her little daughter’s hair and sends her off to school. Around them, life is harsh and uncertain. Yet in that simple gesture lies a quiet dignity and an unwavering belief that education can open doors that poverty has kept firmly shut. But the kind of Kid Speak we share today is the one that puts a lump in your throat and leaves you feeling heart broken and helpless.

I have made friends with school going children who live in the open at the Kalka Temple. Most of their parents survive by begging. At night the family rolls out their beds under a narrow tin awning and in the day the same is rolled away and placed on some ledge or other with all the family’s belongings including the precious school bag. When asked why he had not gone to school, a little boy replied, “mama had to take my sister to the doctor. She has asked me to look after the bedding and make sure it does not get wet if it rains.” It was indeed a very cloudy day.

I was further enlightened when another child who had not gone to school said, ”We do not go to school when it rains as our uniforms get wet and would not dry for the next day.” I came to know that most kids have just one set of uniforms and thus the need of it drying is critical.

When I asked a little boy if he wanted toys to play with I was told almost dismissively,”I only like to study!”  Do these kids intuitively know that learning may make a difference in their lives?

When I enquired about a little girl who had a high fever I was told that she had gone to school. Before I could react another kid told me, ”You see, if she had stayed here she would have been running around; in school she will be able to rest.” Yet another lesson.

These children struggle to survive with whatever dignity they can muster. It is touching to see how a mother spends that little bit of extra time tying the ribbons in the hair of her daughter as she readies her for school on a open stretch of road or how she goes haring down to see who had brought in the tastiest offering so that the child can have a better breakfast (people bring food early mornings as offerings to the deity).

I was surprised to see a beggar woman sitting on a step with het two school going children and holding a copy book and a pencil. She was helping her kids with their homework. I asked her if she had been to school and she proudly answered, ”I have studied till class III!”.

One wonders what brought her to where she is now.

To many of us, beggars are the pesky children that knock at our car window at red lights. But that is not who they really are. They are all people with a story, a story that needs to be heard.To know more about ‘beggars’ do read this article: Oh, that pesky Beggar…why doesn’t the Police take him away?

We at Project Why are working on getting these children the extra education they need.

Hope you will join us!

Statistics show that over 8000 children get raped in India every year. Wonder how many get sexually abused and yet the state is unwilling to include sex education in schools. Perhaps it is because it is thought that this would not make a difference.

An incident occurred recently and  showed how well planned, age appropriate and straightforward sex education could contain this shameful crime.

A young seven year old who was born and brought up outside India and thus had been taught age appropriate sexual education reacted firmly when he felt that that his body was being ‘invaded’ . Actually it was far from that as he was just being asked to have a bath and he did not want to but to his mind it was his body and we respect that thought. In ‘good touch bad touch’ classes young children are taught to take ownership of their bodies and can only be touched if it OK with them. This very simple lesson could save many children from abuse. Abusers play on fear and silence, the moment these are taken away the perpetrator loses his power.

These lessons should be taught in schools and part of the curriculum. But that is not the case in India.

Good Touch Bad Touch may be taught in schools for the privileged that have counsellors. Classes are run by professionals but came at a price. And above all parents are aware and thus able to help the child. But that is not the case in state run schools and poor homes where sex is taboo.

Child abuse is not confined to the odd criminal deranged mind. These exist but the real abuse comes from within the homes or the neighbourhood where a firm NO can do the trick.

How long will children have to wait and how many more children will be abused before the penny drops.

I fist heard of Sindhutai many years ago when I was researching ‘good news’ stories for a friend. Her story was a true inspiration more so when I felt reluctant to ‘ask’ for money. I wrote about her way back in 2011 and as I reread the words I penned then, it all seems so true even today. In a nutshell you do not need to be rich to help others all you need is a big heart and Sindhutai’s is larger than any one else’s.

If you do not know her story, read it here. It is humbling and inspiring. Over the years she has been lauded and feted and things should have remained thus.

Sindhutai is all heart and people who are all heart just follow their heart; in her case from one child in need to another. Paperwork and official stamps can be overlooked as there is so much to be done. She has been trying to get her work registered for years but many hitches came along the way and she has now been asked to shut her orphanages by the State Government.

This is outrageous more so in a land where children are in need of every little bit of love they can get and she has that in abundance.

Her work is incredible and she needs to be helped.

There is a petition on line that I urge you to sign.

It seems that the petition has caught the attention of the powers that be and I hope that they will act.

If not then all that is good may just be destroyed.

Clarisse and Xavier have not ‘adopted’ Utpal legally but are nevertheless his French ‘parents’, and do everything a ‘parent’ would : loving him unconditionally and being there for him. Nothing proves that better than the story of a cricketer of yesteryear who ‘adopted’ the son of their laundry man, providing all the support he needed to succeed. Succeed he did: his latest gift to his ‘adoptive ‘ parents a swank Mercedes Benz. There were no need of papers and documents to seal the relationship all that was needed was love.

A recent article stated the sad fact that adoptions numbers were decreasing in India. The reason stated is paperwork! Another reason” surrogacy. Indians parents prefer adopting babies under one and will never adopt a differently abled child or a sick one. Adoption agencies have a glut of 3 to 4 years waiting for adoption. These will become 5, 6 and then 7 and one day become 18 year old when the law of the land does not give any further protection.

This reality was brought to light when last week a member of the Child Welfare Committee asked us whether we knew families that would be able to act as foster parents to children of dysfunctional families who are institutionalised. They cannot be adopted as they have natural parents. The conditions in institutions in India are far from the enabling environment a child needs to grow in as children with criminal backgrounds are placed with children from abusive homes. The risk of the child going the wrong way looms large. The children in question were from 1 to 10. Though we promised to try we knew it would be difficult if not impossible. And yet we knew how real the danger was.

Reaching out to a child with or without papers is all about love. As someone said: the adoption process can be challenging but love is instant! There are so many children who need us to open our hearts and let them in.

Yes ‘adopting’ a child will not change the world but for that child the world will change

She was barely 5 when she first joined the special section. It must have been in 2004. She could barely walk or talk. She was like a tiny frightened bird that needed to be tamed. As days went by and we got to know her better the smiles came hesitant at first then bigger and bigger. And a few steps and some sounds. The ice was broken. It would not take long before Sapna was like a fist in water in the special section of Project Why. But all was not well for her mom whose story breaks your heart. Do read it. It is the story of too many women in India.

Sapna was happy at Project Why but came the day where the family moved and she left. There was no news. We hoped for the best and prayed for her well being.

A fews days back her father came to the Project. The news was terrible. Sapna’s mom had passed away in March. She had suffered enough. The father asked us if we would have her back and the answer was a loud YES!

So Sapna is back. She is 16 now and really small. But her smile is there larger than ever and she was so thrilled to see us all. She walks now and even speaks. It  is a delight to have her back and her old pals Umesh and Anurag are thrilled.

For us it is bittersweet: a gentle reminder of the fragility of her existence. What if something happens to her father? What if he remarries? Endless questions with no answers. A visit to her home was heart wrenching. The family had very little. Her brother Monty has turned for the worse. He told us that he sold ‘slippers’ from midnight to dawn. He seems to have been targeted by predators.

For the time being Sapna is with us. We have convinced Monty to come to the centre in the morning and study some. Though he has paper saying that he has studied till class VII he can barely read or write.

How much will we be able to do for these two lost souls is anyone’s guess but we will give it our best shot. Sapna will be safe with us during the day. We fear for her when she is back home.

Once again the critical need for a residential option like Project Why comes to mind. It was for the Sapna’s of this world.