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Last Saturday was my 68th birthday. It was a quiet affair coronavirus oblige! Normally my birthday is quite a celebration that begins early in the morning with a call from the US and a cheery message from my grandson. Then it is time to  visit as many centres of Project Why as I can. Everywhere I am greeted with flowers, balloons, cake, cards and even presents. I feel spoilt silly. The evening is a celebration at home with family and close friends. All along the day there are messages and calls from all over the world starting with New Zealand and ending with the USA.

This year would be different. It would be my first and I hope only birthday in lockdown.

However the day began at the crack of dawn with the call from my grandson who had composed a song for me. The little bloke is an expert at tearing me up as he always comes up with something that tugs at my heart. This year was no different.

After getting ready I opened my computer and was taken aback by the number of messages that were waiting for me. It seemed that everyone I knew had decided to make this day special. I was moved by the warmth of the greetings and the love that poured from them. I saw that many messages had been sent at midnight. Utpal and Kiran sent loving messages that made me tear up again. Malini even had a special post on Facebook that made me feel humbled and overwhelmed. Every volunteer, donor, virtual friend was there to greet me and send me their love and support.

The Project Why WhatsApp staff group was flooded with messages and I was touched by the number of people who had taken time to make little movies taking pictures from past Facebook posts and putting them altogether with music and song. It was heartwarming to see how savvy they were at social media. I was gobsmacked!

What I coud feel in every message was the ardent desire to see things return to normal and Project Why reemerge unscathed. That is what we all hope. That is what I hope. But the fear of this not happening looms large even if one tries to remain as optimist as possible. None of us know what the future holds.

But we need to hold on to every shred of hope. More so because I would be unable to see Project Why close. It would kill me. I pondered on this and asked myself why I felt like that and the answer came to me in the lovely post my friend Aparajita wrote for my birthday. I will simply share the last lines of her post: you are what each child, each student wants a teacher to whisper in their ears: ‘dream. I am there’.

No matter what happens. No matter how bruised and battered we are on the other side of these terrible times I still want to be able to whisper in every child’s ears: DREAM. I AM THERE.

It has been a week since we are under lockdown. We at Project Why are trying to find our new normal. The uncertainty of the future is daunting to say the least. Many questions beg for answers. How long will it last? Will things ever be the same again? Will we be able to pick up the pieces from where we left them and start again?

Project Why staff has a WhatsApp group that keeps it connected. We try and greet each other and share news about each other. It is heartwarming to see that some of our staunch supporters from other lands do also send messages on the group. Xavier has even coined the phrase United Colours of Project Why and  created an image with the flags of all the countries our friends and supporters come from. This undoubtedly give us hope.

The centre managers hold meetings on Zoom to try and plan for the future. It is nice to see them connecting and learning to use new virtual tools. They are busy upgrading their skills. Making plans also gives hope and hope is something we need to hold on to. The future looks bleak today more so as we do not know how long the crisis will be and what awaits us on the other side but to keep our sanity intact we need to remain positive. At present we must plan on getting the staff their salaries in spite of the lockdown. Many depend on them to survive.

Thanks to the internet and all virtual applications, we are able to keep in touch with donors and volunteers. This also gives a sense of hope. It is touching to see how concerned they are about Project Why.

We have no news about the Boards. This is very nerve wrecking for all the children who were hoping to complete their studies. I hope that they are able to sit for their remaining paper and get admission for higher studies. I pray 2020 is not declared a zero year!

Some teachers have created WhatsApp groups with their students and I am urging all to do the same. This is a nice way keeping in touch and sharing news and advise. This way we will also know that the children are safe and be informed of any problem that can then be taken care of.

It is very frustrating to be in my seventh decade and thus considered as high risk for the virus. I would have liked to be able to move around, find out about the children, help those in need and do something positive. But alas that is not possible. I just try and connect people to the best of my ability.

We have at least another two weeks of lockdown and maybe more. I hope and pray that we are able to flatten the curve and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

To keep going I spend a lot of time looking at old pictures and finding strength from the smiles of our beautiful children.The picture above is one of my favourites.

Will the world ever be the same again?

This is a question I ask myself every day. For the past few weeks now the corona virus has taken over our lives. It began with schools shutting down. First the primary classes, then classes which did not have exams, then all classes and to crown it all the postponement sine die of the remaining board exams. The upmarket schools swung into action and organised online classes for their students. However for the government school children, a closed school meant no learning at all, and for the primary children no midday meal! The class lines are drawn as is always the case.

With the Covid 19 crisis deepening one has no idea about what the future holds. Delhi and most of India is in complete lockdown and curfew has been imposed. Many theories are doing the rounds. Some think it will be a few weeks, others a few months before things quieten down. The peak in India is expected to come in June. Based on what has happened or is happening in other countries, the worst is still to come. I shudder to think about what will happen when the virus enters the slums. And it will unless a miracle occurs.

Many are not understanding the gravity of the situation and the necessity to remain locked up in our homes and the importance of sanitising ourselves and the environment. For the poor this is almost impossible. Water is scarce, sanitisers expensive and staying at home a chimera when home is a few square feet inhabited by many. No one knows or can even imagine what awaits us and hence the question: will the world ever be the same again?

Will the day dawn when we can pick up where we left and carry on the way we were? Will we hear the laughter of our little creche children again? Will we be greeted by the warm smiles of our special kids or the loud “Good morning Ma’am” of our primary students? Will we walk again in the different centres and see children studying? Will the board exams take place or will the likes of Utpal and Babli loose a precious year. I do not know. Actually I fear not. The virus has hijacked our lives and above all our dreams.

Will the world ever be the same again? Sadly the answer is no. This virus has redefined everything. When it decides to leave us or when we find a way to protect ourselves, the world would have changed. I hope for the better as we would have got time to ponder on our excesses and mistakes and hopefully look at things with our hearts, but the toll on the economy will be a stark reality that we would have to learn to live with.

The world as we knew it has gone forever. The battle with the corona virus will lay the foundation of the new normal that awaits us. Let us hope it will be a wiser and saner place.

The Corona Virus pandemic has undoubtedly set out new rules for us to abide by. It is redefining the way we will live. India locked itself down in an effort to contain the virus. Till date over 100 people are infected and 2 have died. To keep one’s self safe it is recommended that over and above basic hygiene rules one should practice social distancing. In this effort the Government has ordered closure of schools, colleges, malls, movie  halls etc. Big companies are asking their staff to work from home.

Today I would like to share some thoughts on social distancing and how it affects us. As my friend Damyanti wrote, social distancing is a privilege and exercising it may save lives. But many do not understand this. What we need to know is that for the young and healthy the corona virus may come and go like a flu but the same can kill someone who is aged or sick. The lady who died in Delhi contracted the virus from her son who had travelled recently. Had he self quarantined himself, his mother may have still been alive. As of now all the people infected have a travel history and belong to a certain strata of society. But how long will this last? One can easily infect a maid who comes to your house but lives in a slum. It is imperative to act responsibly.

There are many around us who cannot follow social distancing. They have to step out of their homes and go to work on daily basis or else they will starve. And should any of them be infected the results will be disastrous. It is crucial to understand this if we want to contain the virus. It is quasi impossible for anyone living in a slum to practice social distancing. People live in crowded one room tenements and so if one is infected the likelihood of others being so is very high. Maintaining high levels of hygiene is also difficult when one does not have access to water or can barely afford a hand sanitiser.

It is imperative for those who can be potential carriers to exercise extreme caution and utmost responsibility in order to prevent an exponential rise of the infection. At present we in India are at stage 2. Stage 3 would be a disaster.

In Italy they went from 4 cases to 15000 in 25 days!  This was because restrictions were not enforced in time. It is crucial we exercise self restrictions, go out as little as possible and take all suggested precautions. This is the only way to beat the virus and avoid a catastrophe.

The world is in the grip of the Cornona Virus. It has bamboozled everything. As the fear of the virus takes hold of one and all, preventive measures are taken in the hope of containing it. In Delhi all primary and pre primary schools have been closed till March 31st and thus we at Project Why have been compelled to do the same: the creche and all primary sections are shut. Only secondary classes are open with examinations going on.

One misses the presence of the younger ones, the loud singing in the creche as children learn poems and alphabets, the giggles and laughter of the primary classes. All that remains is an eerie silence in empty classrooms. The teachers try to keep busy cleaning up classrooms, competing files and assessment work but their heart is not there. Everyone misses the children.

A sense of uncertainty prevails as no one knows what the morrow holds. Will the virus spread or will it slowly die out with the coming of summer. Everyone is praying for it all to end.

My heart goes out to the children who must be totally bewildered at what is happening. With no school and no Project Why they must be lost not knowing what to do, left to roam the streets as their parents go about their daily routine. No one thinks of slum children when decisions like closing schools are taken. For them school is still a safer haven than their homes.

We just hope and pray that normal days will soon return. Till then little Astitva is the only student of the Project Why creche!

For the past week I have been down with high fever. My only connect to reality has been the TV news the better half switches on. Words and images cross the feverish mind and sit there waiting for them to be processed. Only I find almost impossible to do so as the horror of the recent riots in Delhi is incomprehensible to me. How could this have happened in a city where different communities have lived in peace and harmony? Where did the seed of hate come from and who tended to it allowing it to grow? In my feverish state I hear of schools being burnt down, of shops being destroyed, of livelihoods lost. I hear of deaths of young and old, death across the divide the blood running the same red

My febrile mind is unable to take it in and I sink back into semi consciousness.

Mercifully amidst all the violence and gore, the stones and bullets there are stories of hope, neighbour helping neighbours, a man from a community risking his life to save people from another, a tiny hospital bravely providing all the succour it can, a place of worship being saved by people of another faith, stories that restore faith, stories that prove that all is not lost.

So the question that comes to my mind is what makes certain people behave in one way and others in the exact opposite? Why are some willing to pick up stones and guns and destroy while others are eager to heal and spread love. Why are some willing to follow the mob blindly while others have the courage to stand for what is right.

The reality is scary. On Sunday night a spate of fake calls and rumours create panic in another part of the city, the one where we have centres too. Calls are made. In one locality inhabited by people of one community only,  people start gathering stones. One wonders who would be the targets. When asked by a sensible soul, they look around sheepishly. It just needed one person to show them the mirror.

What will it need to have more sensible souls around?

I think it is the education we give our children both in home and schools that will make the difference. It is easy to follow the crowd. It is hard to take the road less travelled. In order to do so we need to lead by example and teach our children values like compassion and respect for the other, we need to make them strong enough to defend what is right when the need arises. To not be afraid of standing alone when the need arises. It is sad that moral science  is no more part of the curriculum in schools. I wish someone collects all the examples of hope that occurred in the last days and share them with children in schools as that is how they will learn.

We at Project Why are committed to teach our children values like compassion and respect. We want them to believe in themselves and stand for what is right, even if they have to stand alone. It is tall order I know but there is no other choice. We are just doing what is right.

I cannot believe that in a few weeks Utpal and Babli will have finished their class XII Board Exams and that in just about two keeks Utpal will turn 18 and thus become an adult! To me they both remain the little burnt scalded one year old and the little heavily breathing four year old I lay my eyes on for the first time so many moons ago. That was when I decided or actually was guided to reach out to them and craft their morrows. At that time I had no clue of what the future had in store for us. It would enfold one day at a time.

With Utpal and his third degree burns the first step was to heal his wounds and get him back on his chubby feet. I remember the ordeal of his bandages and the fear we had of any infection setting in. He spent the days in my office in a little cot under my watchful eye. And day after day we witnessed the miracle of his healing. I can never forget the day when I left him under the care of one of our teachers and was told that he had eaten SIX BANANAS! I realised quite early that he was a survivor. I witnessed his first word and was there for his first step. We enrolled him in a play school and I remember dropping and picking him up every day. In our minds we had charted out a roadmap whereby we would try and secure his family and make sure he gets a sound education. But the heavens had another plan for him. A series of rather dark events led to him landing up in my home at the age of 4. He would soon go to boarding school and I would become his legal foster parent. At that time end of school days seemed truly far away. We moved from class to class with our share of hurdles that we both surmounted. And before I knew it he was in class XII. In a few days he will come home for good and his room awaits in the newly constructed house. In hindsight I realise how the heavens conjured to make all this possible as it was their plan that was unfolding, I was just the chosen lead. A new chapter of both our lives is ready to unfold. I feel a tad nervous but immensely blessed.

Babli joined Project Why in class II and was a spunky kid with stars in her eyes but a big hole in her heart that made it difficult for her to breathe. But in a halting way she voiced her dream: to be police! Upon enquiry I came to know that she was in critical need of an open heart surgery that was quite expensive. Again the heavens went to work and we found a kind hearted soul to sponsor the surgery. I thought that was the end of my role. Sometime later I was told that Babli had not been sent back to school but was tending to her father’s cart selling  knick knacks. I was livid and knew I had to intervene. Babli would join Utpal in boarding school. The rest is history.

My two little ones are all grown up now and ready to conquer the world. I do not know what awaits them but am confident that once again the Universe has plans for them. I simply need to play my role and see them fulfilled.

I feel incredibly blessed.

My dearest children

In just a few hours you will be sitting for your Board exams. Before I say anything else I want to tell you that no matter what the results are YOU ARE ALL WINNERS!

Look at where you have reached in life. From being a baby in a crib you learnt to walk, talk, read, write and went on to school where you spend long years not only learning many subjects but mastering many skills. You fell down many a times but were back on your feet to soldier on. You moved from class to class imbibing many values, learning to care for the other, to respect your elders and to tend to those younger than you. True you may have slipped sometimes but those were invaluable lessons on the path to becoming an adult. You may have encountered failure but that too was needed to know success in its true form. For success lies in the ability to rise from failure.

Today you stand tall ready to take on life. Your exam is just one more stepping stone but do not get discouraged if you are unable to score high. Marks are not what defines you my children. It is also not what you will be judged by as you take your first step into the adult world. What will hold true are the values you uphold. What will stand with you in your professional life is your creativity, your ability to think out of the box, your ability to lead others, your ability to be fair and stand by what is right. This is what will define you.

It has been a matter of pride to have you as Project Why students and I sincerely hope we have been able to instil the right values in you and help you find your true calling. You will always remain part of the Project Why family. My love and blessings are with you wherever you go.

Life waits for you and the universe has charted your course. Your exams are again just a portal you need to step trough. Believe in yourself and give the exam your best shot.

As I said earlier you are already a winner

With Love

Anou Ma’am

Meet my class of 2020: spunky Babli Thakur and one of a kind Utpal Mandal. On 20th February they begin the last chapter of their school life: their final class XII exams. The chapter ends on 30 March with their last paper and then another story begins. I went to see them on Sunday and they both looked relaxed and happy. It was I who was the stressed one!

Seeing them was an emotional moment for me as my mind travelled back to the first time I saw them both. The first to enter my life was Utpal way back in 2003 when he was just about one. He was a bony lad with amazing eyes and a heart warming smile. At that moment I never knew he would become part of my life. His accident a few weeks later would change his and my destiny irrevocably. I would become his foster parent and he would be part of my family. He was barely 4 when he entered boarding school. At that time I had no idea what the future would hold. By the time he was 7 his natural family vanished and the child was left alone. It was not easy for either of us and we slowly crafted a new life for ourselves. Today we stand strong and happy. I cannot believe that in little over a month his school days will be over and he will be home and we will get busy planning his future. His life is nothing short of a miracle and I know deep in my heart that his morrows will be safe. Another miracle is in the making.

Babli came into my life some years later when she was already in school. That tiny little girl looked way beyond her age and in spite of her laboured breathing had eyes filled with dreams for the future: she wanted to be a police! We discovered later that she had a hole in her heart and needed immediate corrective surgery. A miracle enfolded as we found a kind soul to sponsor her surgery and we nursed her back to health. It was a few months later that I discovered that her family had not sent her back to school and saw red. I decided to take matters in my hand and soon Babli too was on her way to boarding school as Utpal’s class mate. Her dreams were safe!

In a few weeks they will graduate from school and be ready to fulfil their dreams. I know I will be there to help them at every step.

I am so proud of my tiny class of 2020!

When our dearest friend Damyanti Biswas decided to share the proceeds of her debut bestseller novel You Beneath Your Skin to two organisations: Stop Acid Attacks and Project Why she also seeded a new bond between two worlds that till then were unknown to each other. If not for her we at project Why would have never met the wonderful acid attack survivors and made lifelong friends. It all began at the launch of the book way back in September 2019. That was the first time many of us came to face to face with these amazing souls and with Alok Dixit who runs Stop Acid Attacks, the organisation that helps rehabilitate acid attack victims and transform victims into real troupers. At that first meeting we promised to keep in touch but it would take some time before that happened.

It was in December, at another book event that I shared the dais with Ritu Saini and was moved by her story and impressed by her zest for life. I was impressed by two statements this young and feisty survivor made. The first one was that she was grateful to her attacker as the attack was what made it possible for her to break free from the restricting walls of her life and come in the open and receive so much love. And the other was that she would like to ask her attacker without any acrimony what went in his head when he perpetrated that terrible act because she never wanted anyone to ever feel that way! Wise words from such a young soul. Ritu was 17 when tragedy struck and is in her early twenties now. I pondered on what she said and realised how true she was. Had there be no acid attack her life would have been that of any young girl from her community, confined to the walls of first her paternal home and then her marital one. It is the attack that propelled her out of that world into one where she could find an identity and a voice. Today she advocates for acid attack survivors in more ways than one. Ritu Saini has much to teach us and this is when I decided that I would invite her to Project Why and have the children meet her.

I was over he moon when I was informed that she had agreed to come to our Republic Day celebrations at Khader and was overwhelmed when I heard that Alok Dixit would come too in spite of his busy schedule. It was indeed an honour for us at Project Why. I was looking forward to that moment. Unfortunately a bad back made it impossible for me to be there and I was devastated but thanks to the magic of social media I was able to see some of the function as part of it was live streamed. I was happy to see the smiling faces and was very moved by Ritu’s speech. I believe the message she gave would resound in the minds of our children. I also knew that this was the beginning of a long relationship where we would learn from each other and strive to make a real difference.

My gratitude to Alox Dixit for having graced the occasion with his presence and accepted to celebrate Republic Day with us. My gratitude to young Ritu Saini for sharing her smile and confidence with my staff and children and showing us that beauty lies in the soul.

Ritu acts in Chaapaak,  the recently released movie about acid attack survivors. The story is based on the life of Alok Dixit. Please support them by seeing the movie!

Today as I sat fearing for tomorrow, wondering how we will continue our work beyond April 2020, where will we find the missing numbers and so on, I decided to give myself a feel good shot. I have always said that Project Why is replete with miracles. It was time to revisit at least one and why not the very first one which we sometimes tend to forget: the bag lady miracle. Cryptic, is it not?

Rewind to the summer of 2000.I had landed in the street where it would all begin. I had met Manu and decided to ‘do’ something for him. I had met children and parents who urged me to teach their children English. A small jhuggi  was available for sale in that very street. Things were falling in place but I did not have access to any funds to buy any ‘property’! I did not know who to go to. At that time miracles and angels were no part of my lexicon.

I use to often go to the market near our home in the evenings just for a stroll. A new bag and shoe shop had opened recently and was owned by a young woman who I befriended. I found myself sharing all my plans for Project Why and even told her about the jhuggi for sale and about how it would help us start our work. All this was mentioned ‘en passant’ and we were soon talking of other things and viewing her latest collection.

A few days later she called me and asked me the price of the jhuggi. I was taken aback but told her it was 90 K, a number way beyond my imagination at that time. I fell of my chair when I heard her next words: I am buying it for you!

The rest is history. In a few days the jhuggi was ours and she even gave us money to repair it. We were all over the moon. The bag lady remained in touch for some time but then vanished and I was unable to locate her in spite of my best efforts. That is when I realised that miracles happened and that angels looked just like us.

The jhuggi allowed us to seed Project Why. In hindsight I now believe it was a message to tell me I was on the right track and that no matter what impediments would come there would always be a way out. The last twenty years have been ample proof of that.

Remembering the bag lady has not only filled my heart with gratitude but given me the belief that another miracle is on its way. I wonder what this Angel will look like.

Note: The picture above is of the said jhuggi with the merry band that steered Project Why. This was the only snapshot I could find as in those days we did not have digital cameras.

January is the first month of the year when you make resolutions and plans for the year to come. January 2020 is the beginning of the 20th year of Project Why and I sit and wonder how it will enfold for us. Before I move ‘forward’ and try and define what awaits us, I would like to take a moment and look back at the two decades gone by. What began as an almost hesitant journey undertaken to find a way to give Manu a dignified future, took a life of its own and became what every knows as Project Why. Way back in 2000 I would have never imagined what it would turn out to be.

The magic lay in its name: Project Why, where the why stood for every question that begged for an answer, an answer that needed to be found. And somehow the heavens conspired to make that happen. Every ‘why’ thrown our way found the answer sought. Nothing seemed impossible. So what began as a tiny spoken English class for a handful of students mutated into primary and secondary classes, early education, day care for special needs, skilling programmes for women and the handful of beneficiaries grew exponentially to more than a thousand.

The last 20 years were not easy and we had to face many challenges but somehow each one was met with success and the trials and tribulations soon forgotten. The only thing that mattered was to carry on. And we did just that.

We can be proud of what we have achieved. But what does tomorrow hold?

In an ideal world we would hope to be able to continue our work unhindered but sadly that is not the case. In spite of all our efforts we were unable to raise the funds needed to meet the shortfall due to the loss of one of our main funders. Come April 2020  we are short of almost 50% of our needs. This is nothing short of scary and as I write these words I wonder how will we be able to find the missing numbers in less than three months. The alternative is a real Sophie’s choice.

I need to remain optimist. I need to keep on believing in miracles as so many have come my way in the past twenty years. I need to petition the Lord with Prayer. I am reminded of a prayer I wrote six years ago when I found myself in a similar situation and hope the Lord will hear me.

It was on this day, nine years ago that Manu tiptoed out of our lives. I had seen him earlier in the day and he was his usual self, complaining of the cold but not losing his smile. I had given him a hug promising to come and see him the next day with biscuits, his all time fav! He waved good bye as I left the room. A few hours later he simply gently moved on to light. He had asked for a glass of water and his teacher gave it to him and went on to get him a cup of tea and his beloved biscuits but by the time he came back Manu was gone. Just like everything else he did, he left our world without fuss, without a sound.

His death was a huge shock. Somehow Manu had always seemed invincible having weathered so many storms. I could not believe the news. I rushed to his side, sat beside him, stroked his brow, murmured sweet nothings hoping he would wake up and give me one of his lopsided smiles but that was not to be. His saintly soul had moved on. Only a broken shell remained. I too tiptoed out of the room knowing that no matter what, I would always carry a part of him in my heart.

Today nine years later I still feel his presence, at times I even feel that he will appear at the corner of the street mumbling to himself and breaking into his endearing smile. But reality hits hard. There will be no Manu. He has fulfilled his amazing soul plan and moved on.

You may wonder what soul plan a mentally and physically challenged soul born in abject poverty could have. Most of us would have brushed him away as yet another wretched beggar had we come across him wandering his street, dirty and half clad;  his heart rendering cries would have seemed an irritant that we may have quietened by throwing him a coin. I still do not know why I did not do just that. Maybe everything was preordained. I stopped and looked at him with my heart and my life changed forever. There was no looking back. Manu’s life mission was to set me back on the right path. He was a mirror to my soul.

My ardent desire to do something for him led to my having to set up Project Why in the very street he was born and where he was once loved but then shunned. Setting up our first outreach programme allowed us to start caring for him. Manu had a home. But this was only the beginning. Project Why would grow and expand and reach out to thousands of kids, all because of Manu. The biggest lesson Manu taught me was that no life however hopeless it may seem was futile. Every life was blessed and needed to be celebrated. Manu was the perfect example.

When Manu died, I was lost. I realised that Manu had been my guiding light and given me the strength to carry on. With him gone my feet faltered and it almost seemed as if I too had reached the end of the road but then I felt his presence and understood that to honour his life Project Why had to carry on. It has till now.

Today we are at crossroads again having lost a large chunk of funding and not knowing where to look to replace it. It would be easy to close the door and lose the key but I can feel Manu’s spirit urging me to soldier on as the light at the end of the tunnel is just a few steps away, steps that I have to take for Manu.

I will continue to honour his memory while Manu stays safe in my heart.

The many moods of Manu

A generation, some would say.

And yet, when I look back at the journey of Project Why, it sometimes feels as though it all began only yesterday.

I can still hear Manu’s cries.

They had shaken me out of the almost catatonic state into which I had sunk after the death of my parents. I had been rudderless, with no idea where life was taking me.

Today, I understand that Manu gave me a second life.

He gave me another chance—not only to live, but to do something that would honour the lives of those I had lost.

That was how the journey began.

There was no roadmap. No instruction manual. No carefully thought-out plan.

There was only one child, an overwhelming desire to help him, and a question that demanded an answer.

And then, as so often happens in life, one question led to another.

And another.

That is how Project Why began.

Taking care of Manu meant entering a world I barely knew existed.

It was a world on the other side of the invisible lines drawn by society—the lines that separate one class from another, one life from another.

I had grown up far away from this world. And yet, as I began spending time in the lanes of the slums of Delhi and entering the homes of the families who lived there, I found something strangely familiar.

I found the India my parents had lovingly described to me as a child growing up in faraway lands.

It was not the India I had known.

But it was a world filled with warmth, humour, resilience and an extraordinary capacity for love.

The love and acceptance I received made it easier to overcome the many hurdles that came my way.

And slowly, almost without my realising it, that world became mine.

In the winter of 2000, Project Why began in a small mud jhuggi across the road from where Manu lived.

There were barely forty children.

We had a few volunteers, a small spoken English programme and absolutely no idea what lay ahead.

We certainly did not have a blueprint for the future.

But we had children.

And we had questions.

The first class was soon followed by another.

Then a special educator arrived at our door with a few children who had nowhere else to go. Their school had closed its doors, and she wanted to know if we had a class for children with special needs.

We did not.

But the answer was an immediate yes.

It was one of the first deafening ‘whys’ that Project Why had to answer.

And so, almost before we knew what was happening, our special needs class began.

Some of those children who arrived on that cold winter morning are still part of the Project Why family today.

Taking care of Manu meant entering a world I barely knew existed.

It was a world on the other side of the invisible lines drawn by society—the lines that separate one class from another, one life from another.

I had grown up far away from this world. And yet, as I began spending time in the lanes of the slums of Delhi and entering the homes of the families who lived there, I found something strangely familiar.

I found the India my parents had lovingly described to me as a child growing up in faraway lands.

It was not the India I had known.

But it was a world filled with warmth, humour, resilience and an extraordinary capacity for love.

The love and acceptance I received made it easier to overcome the many hurdles that came my way.

And slowly, almost without my realising it, that world became mine.

In the winter of 2000, Project Why began in a small mud jhuggi across the road from where Manu lived.

There were barely forty children.

We had a few volunteers, a small spoken English programme and absolutely no idea what lay ahead.

We certainly did not have a blueprint for the future.

But we had children.

And we had questions.

The first class was soon followed by another.

Then a special educator arrived at our door with a few children who had nowhere else to go. Their school had closed its doors, and she wanted to know if we had a class for children with special needs.

We did not.

But the answer was an immediate yes.

It was one of the first deafening ‘whys’ that Project Why had to answer.

And so, almost before we knew what was happening, our special needs class began.

Some of those children who arrived on that cold winter morning are still part of the Project Why family today.

Years later, I found myself standing in that same place, hoisting the national flag at the Giri Nagar centre.

The sight of it took me back to the winter of 2000.

The little mud jhuggi was gone. The handful of children had become a large family. And yet, standing there, I could still feel the presence of the beginning.

This was where it had all started.

This was where Manu’s blue plastic chair had once stood.

This was where I had shared countless meals with him, sitting on a little red stool and dipping pieces of flatbread into the dal he loved so much.

To me, those simple meals were manna from the gods.

As I stood there, listening to the children sing the national anthem, I felt overwhelmed by the passage of time.

Twenty years had passed.

And yet, in that moment, it felt as though I had come full circle.

I was standing in the place where Project Why had begun.

And somehow, I could almost imagine Manu at the end of the road, as though he might appear at any moment.

From that tiny beginning, Project Why grew.

The forty children became hundreds, and then more than a thousand.

The small spoken English class grew into primary and secondary classes. The special needs class grew into a family of its own.

We began working with women, helping them learn skills that could give them a measure of financial independence.

And slowly, the small lane where it had all begun was no longer enough.

Project Why spread to other parts of Delhi.

Centres opened in different parts of the city. Children came to us. Women came to us. And along the way, so did many other challenges.

Some were expected.

Many were not.

A child needed an open-heart surgery.

Another had survived terrible burns.

A family needed help.

A child needed protection.

There was always another question waiting to be answered.

And somehow, we kept trying to answer them.

We were not always sure how.

But we had learnt something very early in the journey:

If a child stands before you and needs help, you cannot simply turn away because the problem was not part of your original plan.

But that is only one side of the story.

The other side is made up of the incredible people who reached out and made all of this possible.

They came from different parts of India and from across the world.

Some donated money.

Some donated their time.

Some came to teach, to help, to paint, to organise or simply to sit with a child.

Some believed in us so deeply that they even set up organisations in their own countries to raise funds for Project Why.

Each one of them became part of the story.

Each one of them became part of the Project Why family.

And then there was the team.

The people who showed up every day.

The people who dealt with the difficult days, the impossible problems and the endless questions.

The people who stayed.

Over the years, they became the cornerstone of Project Why.

Together, we faced one challenge after another.

There were successes, failures, moments of despair and moments of extraordinary joy.

But somehow, we kept going.

And that, perhaps, is what a family does.

When I look back, I find it difficult to believe how far we have come.

Twenty-five years ago, I began this journey with no roadmap, no instruction book and no idea where it would lead.

I was, in many ways, alone.

Today, I have the largest family I could ever have imagined.

The children of Project Why.

The team.

The volunteers.

The supporters.

The people who believed in us when there was no reason for them to do so.

Each one has left a mark on my life.

Each one has a special place in my heart.

And then there is Manu.

The child who began it all.

The child who gave me back my life when I had almost stopped living it.

I began this journey because I wanted to take care of one child.

Somehow, along the way, that one child led me to thousands.

And every one of them taught me something.

I began by trying to answer the questions life placed before me.

I soon discovered that there would always be more questions.

There would always be another child.

Another need.

Another ‘why’.

And perhaps that is the real story of Project Why.

Not that we found all the answers.

But that we never stopped asking the questions.

I feel humbled by the journey.

I feel grateful beyond words.

And I feel incredibly blessed.

Twenty-five years later, I still have no roadmap.

But I have a family.

And I still have dreams in my custody.

I hope and pray that we will continue to fulfil them.

And somewhere, I like to believe, Manu is smiling.

When we began the Yamuna centre almost five years ago we did not know where it would lead us. The children had never been to school. They were free spirits who roamed the fields and helped their parents in their agricultural work. We did not know if they would sit in class for a whole day and take their studies seriously. It was a surprise and a pleasure to see how quickly they would adapt. For us it was a challenge to create a school like environment and ensure they feel comfortable, safe  and motivated.

They took to studies like fish to water and made up for lost time. They have done us really proud as seven of them are ready to sit for their class X through the open school in 2020. One could not have imagined this.

Last week we registered them and paid their fees. Now they are busy studying hard and we are helping them in whatever way we can.

Passing your class X may not seem like a very important milestone for many, but in the case of Bhagwan Shree, Shivam, Prem, Mohan, Jai Prakash, Ankit and Sachin it is truly life changing. Without education they would have been condemned to live the same life their parents did: cultivate land belonging to others, marry early, start a family and make a meagre living at the mercy of unpredictable landlords. The land is leased from year to year with no certainty at all. At any moment the Government may put an end to vegetable cultivation on the banks of the Yamuna and all these families will be without an income. Not having any savings would mean that their only option would be to join the unskilled labour force of the city.

They all take their studies very seriously and hats off to Shree, the only girl whose family shifted last year to the other side of town but who still comes every week to prepare for her exams with her colleagues. Senior teachers from our Khader centre go regularly to the Yamuna centre to teach these children.

The hope is that with  some education they can aspire to better jobs and break the cycle of poverty in which they were born. This is what we hope for all our Yamuna kids.

So for us at Project Why this is indeed a red letter day, a turning point in our effort to change lives through education.

Last Sunday our dear friend Damyanti organised a blogger’s meet. Though it was around her bestselling novel You Beneath Your Skin, her main aim was to have the two charities her book supports come and share their work and success stories. Stop Acid Attacks was represented by Ritu Saini , a young acid survivor and Project Why by Rani, Anita, Kiran and Sanjay. The main topic was violence against women and what can be done to stop it.

It was a cozy meet with a few bloggers and us and hence it was easy to talk and share what each one of us felt.

I was deeply moved by Ritu’s testimony but what truly shook me was two statements this young and feisty survivor made. The first one was that she was grateful to her attacker as the attack was what made it possible for her to break free from the restricting walls of her life and come to in the open and receive so much love. And the other was that she would like to ask her attacker without any acrimony what went in his head when he perpetrated that terrible act because she never wanted anyone to ever feel that way! Wise words from such a young soul. Ritu was 17 when tragedy struck and is in her early twenties now. I pondered on what she said and realised how true she was. Had there be no acid attack her life would have been that of any young girl from her community, confined to the walls of first her paternal home and then her marital one. It is the attack that propelled out of that world into one where she could find an identity and a voice. Today she advocates for acid attack survivors in more ways than one. Ritu is also part of the cast of Chhapaak the film soon to be released.

Her other almost candid question addresses the one we all ask and seek answers to: what is the root cause of violence against women? The answer is very complex and sadly there are no quick fixes as violence against women is deep seated into the patriarchal society we live in where boys and girls are not treated equally even by their own mothers. It is all about mindsets and changing mindsets is long haul.

In my opinion education is the only way this can happen, but again education has to be one that is not set in a patriarchal mould. This is what we strive to achieve at project why. The stories shared by Rani, Anita and young Kiran are ample proof of the fact that education can bring about a real transformation.

Rani would have been married off at a young age and would have lived within the restricting walls of a traditional marital home but was able to break free because she came to us and never looked back. She completed her education, opened her horizons and lived life her way. That does not mean she went haywire as many think women do if given a modicum of freedom. Rani is now married and a mother but has broken free of the shackles of patriarchy.

Anita too found her voice thanks to Project Why and was able to complete her higher education and refuse a marriage when the dowry demands were unreasonable. She was ready to live on her own terms.

Education is the only way to put an end to violence against women. It is a slow process indeed but a sure one. School curriculum needs to be altered to include lessons on gender equality and sex education. It needs to be able to slowly change mindsets so that tomorrow’s mothers do not differentiate between sons and daughters; so that boys grow up respecting women as individuals and peers; so that no code of silence is imposed on anyone.

Addressing all these issues was empowering and I hope that those who were present will use their pen and voice to share these stories and show that things can change. One only needs to take the first step.

In September we launched the Adopt a Teacher Campaign. This was a new approach at fundraising whereby we asked people to ‘adopt’ a teacher as we felt that teachers are the cornerstone of our organisation and that without them there would be no Project Why! The campaign was part of our effort in finding new avenues of funding in the wake of losing our largest donor in March 2020. The reality was that if we did manage to get our 41 teachers adopted, we would be safe. Some warmed up to the idea immediately, others felt it would not succeed. True it was a shot in the dark but in our situation it was imperative to try any and everything.

A month long campaign was launched in Facebook in September and the initial response was lukewarm. We got a couple of teachers adopted but nothing to write home about. But we did not give up and this December decided to push the campaign again, as a Xmas initiative. Today 16 teachers have been adopted and this is heartwarming.

Who are the people who have reached out? Quite a motley crowd. We have some individuals, some families that have come together, some friends that have also got together, staff of an office, one Foundation that is a regular donor, one Funding Institution who is again a regular donor. Most picked up one teacher but one generous donor who choses to remain anonymous picked up four!

So even if we are not even close to the half way mark, we really feel that we will be able to meet our target.

This Xmas we urge you to ‘adopt’ a teacher. By doing this you will be reaching out to over 50 children and helping them transform their lives and fulfil their dreams. It is these very teachers who for the past years have patiently taught their students and helped them move from class to class and finish school. Some of these students were deemed failures and doomed to drop out, but with love and determination these very teachers ensured that this did not happen. Not only did they bring them back on track but even helped them do well, many even topping their class. And above all ensured that they pass out of school with respectable marks.

Today Project Why alumni are doing well and working in various fields. Some have chosen to pursue higher studies and done well. None of this could have been possible without the very teachers we are asking you to adopt today.

If we are not able to meet our goal, we may have to close one or more of our centres as we have lost our largest donor. We need to make up the shortfall by March 2020.

So please help us get all our teachers adopted by joining our Xmas initiative.

Merry Xmas to all!

Saturday 30th November was a very special day. Students of CSKM school  were coming to visit their Project Why friends. Normally about 40 children come every year but this year over 80 wanted to come. This necessitated some adjustments and it was finally convened that the boys would come to Khader and the girls Yamuna. The boys were to be led by Utpal and the girls by Babli. They both got special permission to come. Everyone was very excited. It promised to be a fun filled day. The girls were to have lunch at the Yamuna centre and the boys were bringing their lunch with them to eat at the Khader centre. Game were being planned and gifts were being packed.The day was that much more special as our dearest Xavier Ray was there to share with us.

Come Saturday and we were all waiting for the buses to come. They reached on time and we were surprised to see the number of packets carried in. They were accompanied by two teachers Mr Singh and Mr Tiwari. The boys also carried a huge container which we presumed was their lunch! It did not take long for everyone to settle in. The children sat in mixed groups and it was game time. Everyone was having a ball. One could hear giggles and laughter, friends meeting friends and catching up. Utpal was the perfect master of ceremonies. After some time one heard music and the stage was set or dancing. We had some stellar individual performances and everyone was a winner.

But soon it was almost time for our children to leave as they had to go to school. That is when it was revealed that the chow mien they had bought was for our children; the CSKM lads would have lunch when they got back to school. They had brought plates and forks and were all set to dole the treat out to our kids. That is not all. The CSKM children had spent the past few evenings making gifts for our kids: origami birds and butterflies. These too were distributed as where the caps. And in the midst of it all it was photo time with our children. There were more goodies  – peanut candy – for the afternoon shift at Project Why and stationery that would be distributed later. In the meantime Dharmendra organised samosas and ladoos for the CSKM kids and these were distributed and eaten with relish. I was soon time to go. Everyone was a little sad to see the CSKM boys go. Goodbye Children. Till we meet again.

Another bus reached the floodplain of the Yamuna river and our Yamuna centre. These were the CSKM girls with their two teachers Vandana Ma’am and Nishi Ma’am. A warm welcome awaited them. They too carried many boxes to be given to the Project Why kids. They played games and danced and had a merry time. It was again smiles and giggles. Babli was the perfect MC ably helped by our very own Kiran, a CSKM alumni!

It was lunch time and as the Project Why children settled to have lunch the CSKM girls decided to visit the fields and go to the bank of the river. It was selfie time and the girls went overboard clicking selfies. Soon it was lunch time and the girls settled down to savour the lunch graciously sent by Kabir Suri of Azure hospitality. After which caps and stationery were distributed as well as the orgimani creations so lovingly made. But as always time flew too fast and it was time to go. ‘We love you‘ said the girls. We love you too dear children. Au revoir!

For me it was a very special day as it validated my belief that children from all walks of life are made to be together and learn from each other. I have a great respect for Dr Shakuntala Jaiman the Principal of CSKM who walks the talk and ensures that all barriers are broken. She immediately warmed up to the idea of having regular interaction between her school and Project Why, something we truly cherish.

It is not what is learnt in books that will help the children succeed in life. It is values like compassion and skills like leadership that will stand them fast. This is what is learnt when CSKM visits Project Why.

There was another special moment that happened on that hallowed day. Xavier and Utpal came together after a long time. A beautiful love story that needs to be celebrated as one of the proudest moment of Project Why