Not the India I want to live in
This picture is not the LOC. It is not an incarceration centre. It is not a prison. It is not a loony bin. This is my home! This the wall that separates us from our new neighbours!
I seek your indulgence today for writing a very personal post. I ask it in the name of all I have done and stood for and in the name of my mother who fought for the freedom of our beautiful country and was even willing to live as an old maid rather than give birth to a child in an enslaved land. God did give her one child: me. Kamala, my incredible and beautiful mother ensured that her only child take her first breath in an India that was free.
Today, sixty five years later I wonder if it was all worth it.
I have over the years felt saddened at many things but set them aside and never lost hope. I preferred taking the road less traveled and dog what I could to fulfil the dreams of all those who fought for our freedom. It was a fulfilling journey. There were hiccups but it was all par to the course and was taken as such. Ours is not a perfect world.
When things got bad, I drew strength from the home we built almost half a century ago where every wall is filled with memories of unconditional love and abundant gratitude. My home, now old and crumbling was my security blanket. I just needed to walk in and felt at peace.
But even that has been taken away from me.
The old house next door was brought down and in its place a new building was erected with many flats. Even that was OK. For many months the din and rattle made by the workers and their families was comforting. It was my India. The wailing of babies, the shouting, the laughter and even the fights, everything was welcome. But that too ended. Now we have neighbours!
I looked forward to meeting them as my generation welcomed neighbours and often bonded with them. But that was not to be.
I was woken from an afternoon sleep by strange jarring noises. I wet out and discovered workers on the wall that separates the house drilling holes and placing iron angles. When I asked what was happening I was told that this was for barbed wires, the lethal kind. My blood ran cold. This was the place where Utpal and my grandchild play in summer, the wall they climb when their ball gets stuck in the tree or on the parapet. This was the wall across which in the good old days when the old house existed we handed over a cup of sugar or some other silly item the neighbour needed, the wall where we stood and simply exchanged a greeting.
The idea of looking at barbed wire was preposterous and filled me with sadness and rage and total incomprehension. What had we become? When had we lost all that was good and beautiful? When had we allowed the invisible barriers we had erected to become visible and so in the face. This wall is just between their house and my house. When did they and I become enemies.
I did try to reason with the young person who will now be my neighbour. But to no avail. The fear was so deeply instilled that no words could assuage them. Those fears were a reflection of the society we have become. It seems like no one knows what the cause is. That has got lost in translation.
The anger gave way to sadness and the sadness to the realisation that the barbed wire was here to stay and that it was for me to find a way of protecting myself and my children and grandchild from its ugly sight.
Today I will get some kind of shield placed in front. I will make sure it is bright and filled with colours. I will make sure that my little ones will be able to climb that wall and that tree and get at the ball they hit often purposely so that they can climb that tree and that wall.
I refuse to be greeted by barbed wires every morning!
Remember, I am the child of the mother who was willing to sacrifice motherhood at the alter of freedom.
We push them in. Please don’t push them out #GivingTuesday#India
The Delhi government, while inviting applications for admissions to nursery, kindergarten and Class I, has imposed an upper age limit of 4, 5 and 6 years, respectively, on applicants. It is so easy to make ‘laws’ for children who have neither voice nor vote! And it is also so easy to find picture perfect justifications that seem logical. “We cannot admit a 12-year-old to Class I, the child needs to go to Class VIII only,” said an adviser to the education minister. Yes true. That is the ideal situation and we all wish we could ensure that ALL children in India could access Nursery at age 4! But sadly that is not the case so a law like this pushes millions out of school. The Education Act allows late entry upto class VI. True a 12 year old does not look ‘good’ in class I but can you take away her right to Education with one stroke of the pen.
One of the most cherished mission of Project Why has been to push back children to school and mainstream them. If we were to look back under this new prism a large percentage would have been pushed right back to the streets. Most if not all children out of school belong to what we call underprivileged homes, the other side of the fence! They do not have parents who are obsessed with getting their kid in a school. They do not have parents who know the value of education. Their parents are often illiterate and busy surviving from day to day. Their kid is not sent to pre and pre pre nursery schools. They often do not even keep track of their child’s age.
The parents we work with have to be pushed and reminded and egged on and often it is Project WHY that takes on the parental role till the moment when a crucial signature is needed. Now I guess we will have the added responsibility of keeping track of their ages.
Why is it that when decisions are taken about children, the ones on the other side of the fence are far too often forgotten.
We push them in; please don’t push them out!
Angel in disguise #GivingTuesday#India
(Posting a series of success stories from the compilation The Project Why Stories 2000-2016)
“All God’s angels come to us disguised” said James Russell Lowell. Utpal a.k.a Popples, and Outpal to all his friends is a force to reckon with, and a great lesson in survival. From a young age, he suffered third degree burns, double pneumonia, acute hepatitis A, and he never gave up.
Utpal and his family moved into the tiny hovel adjacent to the Project WHY office, Giri Nagar in February 2003. In March 2003, the day after Holi, the ‘little boy next door’ had fallen in a boiling pot. The tiny boy sustained third-degree burns. The hospital gave up hope for the child’s survival when the discharge slip read – “Chances of survival – Nil”
Project WHY, along with the help of Sophie, a volunteer nurse from Paris assisted in nursing Utpal back to health. In time Utpals scars healed, and the frightening reality of his existence emerged – alcoholic parents, violence, abuse and no clear plan ahead. His family was completely dysfunctional and not a healthy environment for a child to grow.
Utpal negotiated both worlds the best he could. In 2003, Utpal started attending Project WHY in the day time and at night stayed with his parents. If the days were safe as both mother and son were under Project WHY’s care, conversely the nights were unpredictable – with nothing to eat at home and the possibility of ending up at the police station. He was an endearing child and wise beyond his years. Should anyone want to visit his home he would run ahead on his chubby legs to hide the alcohol bottles consumed by his mother at night, saying: “Mama was naughty.”
As Utpal’s mother’s alcoholism became unsafe for the child. Project WHY stepped up and sent the mother to rehab for women and Utpal in boarding school. At that time Utpal was just 4 years old. The separation was hard for Utpal, but as he accompanied Project WHY resource person to the rehab centre; he bid farewell to his mom with a smile as he knew he is safe but above all his mom is safe.
The intermittent years were not easy. Utpal learned to integrate into his new life at the Boarding school but would still come to his family on holidays, where the situation continued to worsen. Another incident compelled Project WHY to step in again – that of securing his legal guardianship, as it was feared that the family might take him out from boarding school and vanish. Project WHY’s founder, Anouradha Bakshi was made his legal guardian.
As the years rolled by, Utpal taught us many things but most of all the meaning of dignified acceptance in the wake of any adversity: from excruciating pain that third degree burns bring, to the abject humiliation you suffer when those you love the most let you down.
Looking back, Utpal was an ideal candidate for begging at a red light. Drunk parents, a nicely scalded body and yet an incredibly beautiful personality. With a little help from a network of friends who held on to the dream, of a better life for Utpal with Project WHY, made it possible for Utpal to survive and slowly transform his life. Each day goes by with making small memories which is captured in the little book called “dear Popples. with love Maam’ji” which will stand in for all the memories that Utpal may need as he grows into a man.
Today, Utpal is 15 years of age and attends grade X at the boarding school. He is making up for all the lost years and the wise little chap of yesteryear has given way to a delightful adolescent with all flaws that come with the teen-age. He has made friends with his scars that had made him the butt of a lot of bullying and riling. He’s now a natty lean young lad, a mean skater, who teaches skating to smaller children in his school, plays tennis and football. He’s extremely fond of ‘engineering’: he takes apart a multitude of objects and rebuilds them when he’s at his guardian’s home for the holidays. He loves music and dancing like any other 15-year-old waiting for his dreams to unfold.
Chandan Play it forward #GivingTuesday#India
(Posting a series of success stories from the compilation The Project Why Stories 2000-2016)
Chandan came to Project WHY in 2002 as an electrician. He lived in the community of Giri Nagar, where our original centre was based. The Project was in search of an electrician to do the odd repairs around the centre. Vinod Chaudhary, a friend of the Project WHY told us about his nephew, Chandan, who was willing to assist.
After a few months of such work, Chandan explained to us that he wanted to do more than just fixing lights; he wanted his career to progress and he wanted to leave a real impact on this world. As he was interested in teaching, and demonstrated raw talent in maths and science, Project WHY hired him as a Primary teacher in 2003. Chandan worked as a full-time teacher by day and an electrician by night in order to supplement his income.
Chandan was an excellent teacher but, having been brought up in a society rife with casteism, his behaviour raised issues for the Project. In India, no matter how educated one is, an upbringing in the rural village of Bihar renders the caste system a way of life, making it a difficult philosophy to eliminate.
India’s caste system is among the world’s oldest forms of surviving social stratification. The system divides Hindus into rigid hierarchical groups based on the occupation of the family into which one is born. Traditionally, the system bestowed privilege upon the upper castes whilst sanctioning the repression of the lower castes by privileged groups. Often criticized for being unjust and regressive, the system persists in many rural and urban cities.
As a non-discriminatory mission, Project WHY employs staff from all walks of India, regardless of community and caste. Unfortunately, people like Chandan were taught from a young age to avoid any group situation that involved both high and low class. Initially, we did not pay much attention to Chandan’s behaviour in the hope that he would naturally integrate into our way of thinking. He would occasionally avoid the Project’s group activities that involved groups from mixed castes, but otherwise did not pose a problem. However, in 2004, when our local tea seller lady Seema picked a fight with Chandan for having refused to drink her tea, the Project WHY team had to step in to calm the situation. Seema reported Chandan to a village elder that night and the ensuing violence between communities required intervention. We found ourselves using Chandan to explain to the community that violence was not the answer and that all issues could be resolved in time.
After working with Project WHY over time, seeing its progressive approach to hierarchy and understanding the value of each member of society, Chandan slowly changed his mindset and began accepting all castes equally. By welcoming him into a career that he believed to be above his reach, we taught him to do the same for others, and he now finds himself relaying the same message back to his village in Bihar.
In 2004, Chandan wanted to do more and learn more. He took extra classes with Project WHY’s resident mathematician, Naresh, in the hope of teaching secondary classes in the future. In 2005, he began teaching our Junior Secondary classes, but continued to teach electricals for those looking for careers in the field. It also transpired that he was a talented artist and the children enjoyed learning to draw under his guidance.
After eight successful years with the Project, Chandan, along with another teacher, Pravin, wanted to take the vision and concept of Project WHY and apply it to their own community of Bihar by creating a new NGO. In 2010, Chandan therefore created the “Deepjyoti Charitable Trust” which works in a similar way to Project WHY, but targets education and social mobility in his home state of Bihar. Chandan has replicated our concept, initially taking small groups of children into education, and going on to expand into an all-round support centre. Project WHY provided its expertise to the trust and acted as an adviser, as well as providing financial assistance for its first two years. We continue to maintain close relations with Chandan and his team, but the organisation is now able to stand on its own two feet. Chandan and his Pravin are now proud owners of an NGO that makes a genuine difference in Bihar and playing it forward!
Bindass Babli #GivingTuesday#India
(Posting a series of success stories from the compilation The Project Why Stories 2000-2016)
When Babli first came to Project Why in 2004, she was a bright-eyed, feisty girl; what some Indians would call Bindaas, meaning carefree and confident. She loved books and seemed to always have a smile. It took Project WHY’s resource persons some time to realize that every breath she drew was an effort. Babli had a hole in her heart from birth and needed corrective surgery. Her family was unable to come up with the needed funds. They had simply accepted that she would not live long.
In India, little girls are sometimes considered dispensable, their hearts not worth mending. The Census of India 2011 demonstrates a decrease in the population ratio of female children (age group 0-6 years) of India compared to 2001. For every 1000 male children, there were now 914 female children, a drop from 945 – where are our girls? Investigations show that female infants experienced a significantly higher mortality rate than male infants in all major states.
Thanks to our wonderful friends, Project Why was able to raise the funds for Babli by 2005 and the operation was performed successfully. It was scary and painful for this innocent little girl, but Babli’s bindaas spirit saw her through it all.
After her recovery, Babli was expected back in school but, to everyone’s shock, it emerged that she would not be able to continue her education. Her mother, being the sole earning member of the family, didn’t have time to take Babli to school. She also needed her to take care of her younger sister. The father was busy playing cards, and it eventually fell to Babli to manage the father’s work cart that sold tobacco and biscuits.
One step forward and two steps back. The Project WHY resource persons soon found Babli sitting on the cart selling chewing tobacco, cigarettes and biscuits instead of being in school, and her little sister standing in the background. She told them about how her name had been struck off from the rolls of the school and why she was working. But Babli’s words, spoken when she had trouble breathing, still resonated: “I want to be a police,” she said, without hesitation, when asked about her dreams.
Project Why found the situation unacceptable, and took steps to change it. After a meeting with her parents and a visit to the nearby government school, Babli was back in school.
Today, thanks to a kind sponsor, Babli studies in Class 9 at English Medium Boarding School in New Delhi, where she often tops her class. True, she won’t become a ‘police’ as the aftermath of her surgery resulted in scoliosis, but she will shine. Her education, which had fallen into peril this year because of a major donor backing out, will continue thanks to another kindhearted donor who has stepped in to fill the gap. This is Project WHY’s attempt to prove that given equal opportunities, children from the slum can do as well as those from the privileged classes.
Anita the power to say ‘NO”! #Giving Tuesday#India
(Posting a series of success stories from the compilation The Project Why Stories 2000-2016)
project why
Anita’s relationship with Project WHY started in 2002, when she started studying as a young girl studying in Class 3. Her father comes from Bihar and moved to Delhi in the late 1980s to look for education. Due, however, to financial problems, he was forced to start working at the nearby factory at an early age and settled in the Giri Nagar area.
In 2004, with Anita in Class 6, her father, the family’s sole earner, was told that there was no work in the factory and told to take a two month ‘break.’ Whilst her mother had previously devoted her life to running the house, she was forced to begin running a stitching and embroidery service from home. In an effort not to make her family suffer, Anita’s mother combined this income with her life savings to support their lifestyle.
Anita is a glowing example of the opportunities that Project WHY can create. She attended the centre in Girin Nagar until Class 12, and recorded consistent scores of 75-80% throughout her school career. As one of our brightest students, she secured admission to the prestigious Delhi University to do her B-Com in 2012.
Anita returned to us after graduating, wishing to provide the same opportunities to similarly underprivileged children. Her parents were supportive, indeed they knew she was safe with us and did not want her working anywhere else. As one of our oldest and most successful students, we were happy to taker her on as a primary teacher. She then went on to teach some of our brightest secondary students.
In 2015, she came to us with the news that she would have to leave the job, as her parents had found a boy in the village and wished for her to get married. We had no choice but to accept this. Yet, four months later, Anita returned and asked to resume her old post, which we were happy to give her. The boy’s family had demanded a large amount of money as ‘dowry,’ claiming her to be dark in skin, and apparently not sufficiently pretty. Yet Anita, as a product of Project Why, had learned to speak for her rights. She knows her self-worth, beauty and value to society and refused to get married under these conditions. She therefore spoke herself to the family to reject the boy and the forced marriage.
Dowry or Dahej is the payment in cash and/or in kind by the bride’s family to the bridegroom’s family along with the giving away of the bride (called Kanyadaan) in Indian marriage. It runs across all classes and castes. Although Dowry was legally prohibited in 1961, it continues to be prevalent and highly institutionalised. The groom often demands a dowry consisting of a large sum of money, vehicle, house, furniture, and electronics. The dowry system puts great financial burden on the bride’s family
At Project WHY, we pride ourselves in discussing prevalent social issues such as caste, dowry, violence against women and sexual abuse. We believe that we have made our resource persons fully aware of their rights and responsibilities. Anita, at that moment, stood up for her rights and refused to get married on those terms and conditions. “I am as good as any girl on this planet,” she voiced.
Today, Anita is back teaching and continues to value education above all else. Together with her mother, she is funding her brother’s B-Tech from IP University, at a cost of INR 60,000 per year, striving to give him the same opportunities in life that she had. Concurrent to her work as a Secondary teacher, Anita is now pursuing her M-Com. She wants to apply for a Government job, from which she feels she can have an impact on an even wider scale. Yet, always thankful of her roots, she will never stop supporting Project WHY, both through donation and through education.
“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon.” #GivingTuesday#India
“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since” wrote the inimitable Salvador Dali.
Dreams are never too big. Dreams are never too small. Dreams are dreams and dreams come true if you dare to dream. At Project WHY we do.
Last week we welcomed Lionel and his charming wife Leila. Lionel suffered an accident that left him paralysed and no one thought that would come the day when he would come and visit the children he had been supporting for many years. But Lionel is a dreamer who holds on to his dreams. His wife decided that come what may, Lionel would meet his beloved children at Project WHY.
No road was too bumpy; no door to narrow to come into the way of this dream. Lionel visited Okhla and Yamuna and could hold and hug the children he had only seen pictures of. The wheelchair could not climb stairs but the children came down and what else would be the topic of the day but dreams.
It was a wonderful and heart warming moment as child after child came to them and told they what their dream was: become a teacher, doctor, software engineer, pilot, army officer, police officer, singer, cricketeer, astronaut. It was touching to see boys and girls of all ages share their dream and for a tiny moment one forgot that these children came from underprivileged homes where surviving from one day to another was a challenge. But no challenge can come in the way of dreams and no dream is impossible.
As I watched these wonderful children some of whom I have seen grow for the past decade, I knew that the task was far from over and that these dreams had become mine. It was now time to make them come true!
I am a part of God’s wonderful creation #GivingTuesday#India
Use the skills that I have got.
Do not focus on what I have not.
Of course, I am aware of my limitation.
Yet, I am a part of God’s wonderful creation.
William E. Lightbourne
A recent article brought once again the terrible plight suffered by mentally challenged souls. The article gives us a glimpse of the state of affairs in one of Delhi’s Home for the Mentally Challenged: overcrowding (4 to a mattress), filth, stink, inmates crawling for want of wheel chairs, no medical or psychological support, poor nutrition, no hygiene. The list is endless. And it gets worse: the inmates are even denied the last shred of dignity.
Was it instinct or God’s intervention that made me shun sending Manu to a ‘home’ I do not know. What I knew was that I was the one that needed to care for him. And in order to do that Project WHY saw the light of day. The biggest lesson I got was that no life, however wretched, was worthless. Every life was a plan of God.
And soon God’s plan unfolded as a little later a lady landed with a motley crew of differently abled children whose school had closed and who had nowhere to go. Project WHY’s doors were open even if their first class was on the road side.
Love is in the air #GivingTuesday#India
Today is Valentine’s day. A day to celebrate LOVE! A day to remember what love truly means by going beyond the pink hearts and red roses! A day to take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about all the love stories of our lives. I have been blessed with many, each one as beautiful as the other but the most unexpected one was close to my 50th birthday and when a little scalded bundle swathed in bandages walked into my heart and changed my life forever.
That is not all. Two days ago when I visited the school for the ‘dreaded’ PTM I was handed a copy of the school magazine where one whole page was dedicated to this very special love story. And tucked away in a box was a poem dedicated to me and written by that little bundle of joy now a strapping and handsome teenager!
Feels wonderful.
I have written volumes about this little soul, even a book.
Today I simply want to share the magic of keeping your heart open. You never know who will walk into your heart and stay there forever age no bar!
It happened to be when I was 50 and he was 1!
This is the love story of Utpal and his Maam’ji!
Happy Valentine’s day!
Love is really in the air!
True beauty is reflected in the soul #GivingTuesday@India
Sometimes a single word can reveal how deeply our society needs to change.
Recently, I came across two very different references to the word “ugly”. The first was the story of a remarkable woman who had spent years carrying the pain and humiliation of being called “the ugliest woman on earth”. The second appeared in a Class XII Sociology textbook while explaining the reasons behind the practice of dowry.
The first story was about Lizzie Velasquez.
Born with a rare medical condition, Lizzie faced cruel judgement from strangers who reduced her entire existence to her appearance. A video labelling her “the ugliest woman on earth” went viral, causing unimaginable hurt. Yet Lizzie refused to allow the world to define her. Today, she is a motivational speaker whose courage, kindness and resilience inspire millions.
Lizzie’s life is a powerful reminder that true beauty is not something that can be measured by a face, a body or society’s changing standards. It comes from within—from the strength of our character, the compassion we show and the courage with which we face life’s challenges
The second reference to the word “ugly” was far more troubling.
It appeared in a Class XII Sociology textbook, in a chapter on social problems in India. While explaining the reasons behind the dowry system, the book stated that if a girl was “ugly and handicapped”, it became difficult for her to get married, and therefore her parents were forced to meet higher dowry demands.
What does one say to such words?
A sentence like this may appear to be merely an explanation of a social reality, but words written in a school textbook carry immense power. They are read by young minds that are still forming their understanding of themselves and the world around them.
Imagine a teenage girl reading this passage and wondering whether society considers her less valuable because she does not fit a certain idea of beauty. At an age when so many young people already struggle with confidence and self-esteem, such messages can leave deep scars.
The truth is that many young people already carry enormous pressure to look a certain way. The standards of beauty presented through television, films and social media are often impossible to achieve.
I have rarely met a young girl who feels completely comfortable with the way she looks. Even those who are considered beautiful by others often find faults in themselves. They feel they are too tall or too short, too dark or too fair, too thin or too heavy. They worry about their skin, their hair, their features. Slowly, their confidence begins to diminish.
For girls who already grow up hearing that their worth is connected to marriage and acceptance by others, such messages can be deeply damaging. They begin to measure themselves not by their kindness, intelligence or dreams, but by whether they match someone else’s definition of beauty.
This is why the words we use matter. Especially when those words appear in books meant for children.
Many questions remain.
Who decides what beauty means? Why do we continue to measure people by physical appearance rather than by the qualities that truly define them? And when children’s textbooks contain such messages, who is responsible for ensuring that they do not reinforce the very prejudices we should be challenging?
Education is meant to open minds, build confidence and help children recognise their own worth. It should never make a child feel lesser because of the way they look, the family they come from or the circumstances of their birth.
We need to teach our children a different understanding of beauty—one that celebrates kindness, courage, compassion and resilience. A beautiful face may attract attention, but a beautiful soul leaves a lasting impression.
It is time we understood this.
Smiles in custody #GivingTuesday#India
A little girl was crushed to death by a vehicle last week. She lived in a shack under the Nehru Place flyover. Her family is part of the posse of beggars that live there. It is a spot I pass often en route to Project WHY and have been interacting with such children for very long. The fear of such a tragedy happening was always there. She was just like my little beggar girl of yore years.
The plight of children begging has been the one deafening why that is still unanswered. The only source of comfort is the opening of our Kalka Temple project for children like the little girl who lost her life. The children you see in the picture are all children of beggars and would be roaming the streets and begging. Now they study for a few hours and some even go to school. They may escape the grim future that beckons them. We will definitely try our best to ensure that.
Once again the death of this child brings to the fore the plight of children who beg on the streets.
When you see the smiles on the little faces in the picture, you see children just like any other. Nothing differentiates them. They are full of mischief and giggles, like to play pranks, love games and deserve what every child does!
It is time we stood up and did something for them!
Empower them to say NO! #GivingTuesday#India
The recent incidents of sexual molestation in Bengaluru have once again brought to fore the reality of gender biaises and the stranglehold of patriarchal values in across society.
Molestation, rapes and all form of sexual abuse are a power game wherein the perpetrator cannot accept the victim deviating from accepted norms. True there are some aberrations that defy all explanations the most deafening being the rape of children and babies!
Sexual abuse of children in often committed by members or someone close to the family. These are the ones that go unreported as they touch upon the honour of the family and what is terrible the code of silence is often imposed not by a male, but a female member of the family.
Patriarchy decreed the daughter would be the repository of the family’s honour. Why not the son? The son can do no wrong; this is a notion prevalent across the board, a sentiment aptly defined in the words of a leading politician: boys will be boys.
Every time there is a rape or molestation case civil society wakes up and, post a few candle lit marches and fiery speeches, sinks back into silence. What is always sought is the hanging of the perp as if that act alone would solve all issues.
Experience has shown that this is not the case as rapes and abuse continue with impunity. Recently a tailor, father of five was arrested for having molested hundreds of girls!
We need to protect our children as boys too suffer abuse. The statistics on chid abuse are terrifying. One child abused is one too many!
Long term solutions are not the need of the hour. Children cannot wait. What we are dealing with is age old mindsets that will not vanish overnight. Patriarchy is too deed rooted. The only immediate solution is to inform children about abuse and empower to say NO, a no so loud that it cannot be ignored. It all begins with the notion of ‘good’ touch and ‘bad’ touch.
This is something we do at Project WHY at an early age. Our effort is to also lend a patient and understanding year to every child.
Regular workshops for adolescent are conduced regularly in order to address all the questions that can never be asked within the four walls of a patriarchal home.
It is not easy to grow up in a slum. Though the family is uber traditional, the environment is quite different. Television has invaded the home and the ubiquitous smart phone had reached every hand each claiming its space, its supremacy. Think of the child, the adolescent, the teenager having to navigate in between these two!
We plan to have workshops on cyber crime soon.
We do our best to help children grow into responsible adults but above all we strive to give them a voice!
Zero-teacher, single-teacher… #GivingTuesday#India
child from our Kalka Temple outreach
Whether born in a mansion or a slum, or even on the street, every child born in India has the Right to Quality Education, a right guaranteed by the Constitution. Sadly nothing is further from reality.
A recent article entitled ‘Lessons in Negligence‘ is a stark reminder of what is happening on the ground. The article is about education in Madhya Pradesh, but the reality is the same across the land.
The article introduces us to the zero-teacher and one-teacher school. A zero teacher school is a school that has NO qualified teacher and in this state there are 4,472 zero-teacher schools and 17,649 schools with just one teacher. The ‘guest teachers’ who are barely qualified run the zero-teacher schools. In the one-teacher option, a single teacher looks after 8 classes!
A school has a flat screen TV that has never been used! There is no electricity as bills have not been paid; sports equipment lies unused as there are no playgrounds. The article also mentions the existence of a locked school. The date on the board is 11/12/15. Seems nothing happened post that date: a school frozen in time. In such conditions it is not surprising that 40 per cent of students of class 2 cannot even identify the alphabet, while 65 per cent of students in class 5 cannot read textbooks meant for class 2.
This situation is not contained to Madhya Pradesh. Many Project WHY students came to us with similar problems but a little hand holding was all that was needed to make up for lost time.
Education is not centre stage. Children are rarely centre stage. One wonders why. And yet everyone knows that education alone can transform society for the better.
Children cannot wait. In no time, it is too late for them. This is one fact that we at Project WHY know and believe and that is why we have never shied away from any challenge. Whenever we come across children in need we answer the call and give it our best. That is how the Kalka Temple was set up. Today, over 35 children study there after school. Had we not done so, the likelihood of these children becoming beggars was far too real. As we go along, we will elaborate a road map for them based on their ability and needs.
Every child deserves the best; at Project WHY we strive to give her just that!
Let it be the year of the child #GivingTuesday#India
A New Year has dawned. Let it be the year where children are heard. Let it be a year when children find their voices. Let it be a year when each one of us walks that little extra step for a child in need.
Recently Nobel Laureate Kailash Satyarthi launched two initiatives: “Laureates and Leaders for Children” and “100 Million for 100 Million”. The later aims at bringing 100 million privileged children to fight for the rights of 100 million deprived children. A laudable effort that resonates with what we at Project WHY believe.
In our small way we initiated a similar effort bringing together Project WHY children and CSKM children in an effort to ignite compassion in young hearts. And we are proud to say that this happened and are eagerly looking forward to the bonds strengthening. We know they will.
Do the girls in the picture below look any different from each other and yet they belong to two entirely different worlds, or so some would like us to believe.
But this is a small step. We must not forget that in India children are trafficked and that child labour is rampant even in front of our eyes. So let us resolve not to remain mute and to do something!
Let 2017 be the year of the child!
The Boy Who Gave Me Back My life
Every January, my thoughts go to Manu.
He left us on a cold January morning in 2011, and for a long time afterwards I felt lost and bewildered. I must admit that, on that fateful day, my feet faltered. I came close to giving up.
You see, Manu had been the one who showed me the way.
After the death of my parents, I had become rudderless. My heart had frozen and I no longer knew what I was meant to do with my life. It was Manu who gave me back not only the will to live, but also a reason to do something meaningful with that life—to honour the memory of those I had lost.
How does one define the relationship between a well-to-do woman, well past middle age, and a beggar?
It would take volumes to explain.
Or perhaps just one word will do:
Love.
Manu redefined the word for me and gave it a meaning I had never known before.
It was almost as if he had walked the same path, day after day, through Delhi’s scorching summers and bitter winters, simply to make sure that when I passed by, he would be there.
And when we met, it felt as if we had both finally reached our destination.
It was for Manu that Project Why was born.
He had been born in the same quaint Delhi street where he had spent his life. To most people, he was simply a broken, dishevelled and filthy beggar—a man to be ignored, avoided or driven away.
But I saw something else.
I saw a human being who had been abandoned by almost everyone.
And so, on a day in May 2000, Project Why was set up in the very street where Manu lived. The idea was simple: to care for him and to help the children who lived around him.
I had no roadmap. No instruction manual. No idea where the journey would take me.
I only knew that Manu needed help.
The rest, as they say, is history.
For the next decade, our lives were entwined.
Manu trusted me completely. In return, he taught me lessons I have carried with me ever since.
The most important was that no life is useless.
Had there been no Manu, there might have been no Project Why. And had there been no Project Why, the lives of thousands of children might have been very different.
Manu also taught me never to give up. No matter how dark things seem, there is always a glimmer of light if one is willing to keep walking—even when the road ahead is difficult and unfamiliar.
In my darkest moments, when the urge to throw my hands up was almost overwhelming, seeing Manu smile could lift the clouds. Somehow, the sun would shine again.
Manu was a gentle soul with a wonderfully quirky sense of humour.
We shared countless precious moments—dancing, laughing and eating together. Some of my happiest memories of him are of the simplest things: sitting together, sharing a meal, or laughing at something that only the two of us found funny.
Being with Manu was a blessing. There was an extraordinary feeling of peace and safety in his presence, as though, for those moments, everything in the world was exactly as it should be.
I do not know what saints look like.
But I think Manu may have been one.
A true child of God.
Project Why must continue.
Not simply because it began with Manu, but because every child whose life is touched by the Project carries something of the hope he gave me.
Manu showed me that no life is without value. He taught me that love can cross every boundary society creates between people. And he gave me the courage to begin a journey I could never have imagined.
He remains safe in my heart.
And, in a way, he remains at the heart of Project Why too.
Every January, I think of Manu.
And every day, I continue the journey he began.
.ue to honour is memory.
Manu remains safe in my heart.
2016 revisited #GivingTuesday#India
2016 has been the Year of Transformation for Project WHY!
It began quietly without fanfare and ended with a bang. The mood on day 1 of the year was bittersweet. Everything was on track and all centres were running like a clockwork orange. The children were happy and busy. New activities were numerous thanks to our volunteers and friends. Exams were prepared and passed with success. Holidays saw the return of the dance teacher to the children’s delight and the centres throbbed with loud music and thumping feet. Festivals were celebrated, the perfect opportunity to showcase the newly learnt steps. All in all ‘all was well’ at Project WHY.
Few would have guessed how shaky things were backstage. The coffres were empty and it is only the kindness and generosity of friends and well wishers that made the ship sail. We all knew that it could not go on forever and that something needed to be done.
It is our dearest friend Kabir who lay the foundation of Project WHY’s transformation when he introduced our work to the Savitri Waney Foundation. The rest is history.
The Savitri Foundation bailed us out but that was not all. It decided to extend support provided we took the first steps to the much needed transformation. So it was time to pull the proverbial socks on and get to work. Policies were finalised, data put in order and new processes drafted. Everyone was and still is up on their toes! The much needed coat of paint was finally on.
Amongst the many changes: Project WHY inducted some new board members and the help of a consultant who would assist in strengthening existing and building new resources. This is an going process.
Savitri extended one year support to our Okhla and Khader centres and this will allow us to have the time to broaden our donor base and thus move towards sustainability.
That was one side of the story.
The other one is in sync with the Project WHY spirit. In September we started a pilot project within our existing ressources. This little project reached out the very first children that Project Why had targeted way back in 1998: the beggar children. That programme had not worked out but almost 18 years later we were able to reach out the children of the beggars of Kalka temple with an afternoon programme. Life had come full circle.
About 30 school going (yes beggars do send their kids to school) learn every afternoon in the night shelter for women. Let us see how this enfolds.
As said earlier the year ended with a bang and it would have been a bad one if not for what I call Project WHY’s miracles. Two weeks before the year ended, the terrible news of the theft of our computers at the Okhla centre, it was a huge blow indeed but a simple message was all it took to get all the computers replaced! Wow.
So what is the message?
It is simple: no matter what, do not stop believing in miracles!
Happy New Year.
A Xmas miracle
Angels do not have wings! Sometimes they appear in the form of a spunky 8 year old.
I was wondering what my Xmas message would be this year! How could I know that it would come to me in a sealed enveloppe.
The enveloppe contained a card
and a message!
This was sent by my lovely grandson Agastya Noor for his friends in the Project WHY creche of which he is an alumni. The enveloppe also contained four 5 € bills, money he had got for Xmas. As his mom was coming to Delhi he decided to send it for his friends at Project WHY. he found card and enveloppe himself and wrote his message.
It was my Xmas miracle.
This tiny lad had proved that compassion knows no age and that seeing with your heart is a gift from God. Just like the Little Prince, Agastya learnt the secret of the Fox at a tender age.
But that is not quite the miracle I was referring to. For this this tiny enveloppe laced with so much love was the proof that my efforts to get children from all walks of life meet and learn from each other is no pipe dream but a reality that we must believe in.
At a time where Project WHY is seeking new forms of support, we have short listed ‘interaction with schools’ as one of our funding options. This is not so much for the coins and cheques that may come our way.
Education has to go beyond the confines of maths and english and other subjects, it has to break the bonds of marks and percentages. Education is about learning to live with others as expressed by Jacques Delors in his 4 Pillars of Education. In India, living with others entails first getting to know others by breaking invisible walls. Once they are broken then more miracles ensue. When Project WHY visited CSKM, it took no time for girls to bond and become friends. That one lived in a few square feet and the other in a big house did not matter. 
What mattered was sharing stories, exchanging numbers and holding hands. The question in everyone’s eyes was : when do we meet again!
That little enveloppe was the quiet reminder from a little Angel that Grandma was on the right path.
It is Xmas after all, Happy Holidays!
A blessed day #Giving Tuesday#India
Tuesday, November 29th 2016 was a blessed day. One had waited long years for this moment. One of the most cherished vision of Project WHY has been to have children from both side of the spectrum meet and learn from each other as Project WHY believes that it is only then that India will awaken. Project WHY has always supported the idea of a state run, state-0f-the-art neighbourhood school where children from all walks of life learn and grow together as school need to be a level playing ground.
Alas it looks like one will have to wait a long time for this to happen. Hence the next best option: invite children from privileged schools to come and see Project WHY.
This had been long in the making but finally it happened thanks to the inimitable Shaku Ma’am, Principal of CSKM school, a school with a huge heart and the right values.
The need for children of all walks of life to meet and bond is an integral part of any sound education programme. Schools cannot be hermetic bubbles but have to be a level playing ground.
None of us knew how the day would unfold.
This was not your ‘normal’ outing to a museum or an amusement park, this was a raw reality check. How would kids normally ‘shielded’ from the other side of the fence, react to the surroundings and the children.
The Project WHY kids were told that the visiting children were their guests and they were free to interact with them in whatever way the wanted. They had prepared games and were all set to welcome their friends.
It would be quasi impossible for us to guess how the CSKM kids felt when their bus found its way to our Okhla centre and there were a few awkward moments as the children stood at the door and no one knew what to do. But that was short lived and in no time at all the children broke all barriers and it was bonding time. Questions were asked and answered, the bubble gun was soon in action and one heard peals of laughter. Older kids went to play cricket, others played games. Some of the senior CSKM kids were seen in deep conversation with their Project WHY peers, conversation we dared no intrude in. We know that plans were made to ‘meet again’!
It was soon time to move on to the Yamuna Centre where lunch was waiting. The CSKM children served the Yamuna children and vice versa. It was a beautiful moment that will remain engraved in our hearts forever.
The children roamed in the vegetable fields and the Yamuna kids were very proud to show there new friends their vegetable patches and explain cropping patterns.
It was soon time to leave. One could feel the emotions and the myriads of questions in the eyes of the CSKM kids, questions that would ignite compassion and much more. This was a real social studies class.
As they walked back to the bus, they spotted sugar cane growing in a tiny patch next to a hut. They ran towards it. The lady who owned this patch came out and was seen cutting cane after cane and giving it to the children with a huge smile on her face. When we offered to pay she refused. You need not be rich to be generous, another lesson learnt.
Most of the children expressed their desire to do something for their new friends and next week, Project WHY children will go to visit CSKM and share lunch withe their new friends.
Seeds have been sown in young hearts.
It is now for us to water them and help them bloom.
Tell me a story #GivingTuesday#India
For those born before the advent of TV, the lessons best learnt were from stories told to us by parents or grandparents or discovered in books found in every child’s room and read with avid passion. The art of story telling is ancient and prevalent in all cultures. This art started dying slowly when ‘screens’ surreptitiously pushed books away. For some of us who were bookworms then and still are now, books are as essential as food if not more and the stories heard eons ago still fresh in our minds.
Some of us at Project WHY had been thinking of including story telling in the curriculum but never quite did so. It was a mail with a link to a blog entitled: Telling Truth, Why we teach storytelling to fifth graders and co-authored by Nina Sethi one of our dearest friends, that gave us the impetus to get going.
Nina and her colleague Gaby introduce us to their reinterpretation of story telling and what they share is amazing. They tell us how story telling has transformed their fifth graders. We have seen students grow closer to each other because they are impressed by classmates’ stories of risk-taking and reaching out. We have seen students grow closer to family members because they have had to think through their roles in those relationships.
We have always held that one of Project WHY’s main role is to give children a voice and what better way than story telling. And we will not limit it to one grade but extend it to both primary and secondary children. We hope it will help them bring out all those the things that have remained hidden and even festered; that it will bring them closer to their mates and teachers; that it will build their confidence and also improve their oral skills. A real win-win situation.
Just like for Nina and Gabby, we hope this will be great learning experience for all of us.
We have a voice; it is for us to use it and make it heard!
Everything is going to be all right. Miracles happen everyday. #GivingTuesday#India
Everything is going to be all right. Miracles happen everyday wrote Adrienne Posey. I second that unequivocally! In the past 16 years of running Project WHY, I have seen them happen and lost count.
Another one was conjured in the past 48 hours.
I was woken up on Sunday morning by a phone call informing me of the theft of most of our computers, printers etc at the Okhla Centre. It came as a shock!
After making sure that all were informed, I sat down quietly to try and find out what lesson was this theft teaching me. For more than 14 years Okhla has been safe and protected by the community. Perhaps the lesson was that we had become too complacent. Who knows. But then why steal something that would hurt innocent children and their future. Somehow it did not seem right. I sat to meditate and was guided to share the incident on a healing group I belong to.
A few minutes later I hear the whoosh of my phone indicating a new message. It simply says: how much is the loss? Someone had money and had been wondering where to donate it and not getting any guidance. The money was simply waiting for us.
The bottom line is that ALL that was lost will be replaced and the children would have lost a couple of days only.
If this is not a miracle, then what is!
And it does not end there; thanks to this incident more doors have opened for Project WHY, doors that we did not know how to ope not having the right ‘introduction’. Our thief gave it us. No wonder I am grateful to him.
God or the Universe works in ways that we often do not comprehend. If Utpal had not suffered terrible burns would he be in a boarding school today? The list of Project WHY miracles is endless.
Over the years I have moved from awe to gratitude and now to complete surrender.
The lessons to be learnt are that we need to keep on believing that Good exists even if everything points to the contrary and that the Universe will provide for us if we keep our hearts open. Miracles cannot be explained by reason or logic. They belong to another realm. Someone mentioned the good will we hd gained over the years, but then the person who reached out was unknown to me till July 2016 and has never seen Project WHY!
I know everyone will want to analyse the whys and the who and play the game by the rules: the cops, the investigation, the endless to and fro to the police station. It needs to be done even if we are unlikely to find the stolen goods. That is the game of life.
I will simply thank the Universe for all lessons learnt.