Archives | Project Why

Say a little prayer for her

by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 9, 2012 | Uncategorized

We heard some terrible news. Meher’s father is on his death bed. Too many years of drinking hooch have had their toll on him. He is in his village and everyone has given up hope. He wants to see Meher one last time and in a few hours Meher will make the journey to bid farewell to her dad. I cannot begin to imagine what she will go through. Children have their won way of dealing with tragedy and pain. She has had more than her share.

My mind leaps back to the moment she came into my life almost four years ago. On that fateful day she walked into my heart. There was no looking back. A road map was made for her: plastic surgery to give her back her hands and then a sound education to ensure that in spite of her scars she can craft her destiny. I knew that once again it was the God of Lesser beings at work as everything fell in place. A set of protagonists appeared on cue and Meher took her first steps in a new life, far removed from the dark hole in which she lived and the garbage dumps she searched for food. Post surgery it was time for school and that day too dawned. Meher has now been studying in a boarding school for the past two years and will be promoted to class II in April.

Meher kept her side of the deal to a T. She bore all the pain of her complex surgeries that lasted over a year like a champ. Then she took to her school like a fish to water walking in every heart that came her way and bringing back exceptional report cards. We were on cloud nine. Till yesterday when the news of her father’s condition was broken to us.

As I write these words someone has left to fetch her from school and in a few hours she will board a train that will take her to her father’s death bed. My heart goes out to her. I know she will need all our love and compassion when she gets back. Till then all I can beseech you all to do is say a little prayer for her.

victims of our defeaning silence

by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 8, 2012 | Uncategorized

Little Falak is still battling for her life, her battered body stubbornly fighting infections and fevers. She is holding on as the sinister series of events that brought her to this scary hospital bed enfolds. She is holding on as best she can so that we hear the silent and desperate cries of little girls like her. She was born in the deadliest place in the world for a girl child. I do not say that; the mighty and credible UN does. When the Fates wrote her destiny they must have conspired to alter it a little. It was time said the Parcae to give a voice to the suffering little girls of India. Falak’s life was to be a mission. Is she an Angel of God.

In all likelihood she was battered by her present minder. In her case a 14 year old whose life seems to nothing short of a horror tale. When we first heard baby Falak’s story everyone wanted the person who had committed such atrocities punished in the worst way imaginable. I would like you to hold your verdict and hear her story. She was first abused physically by the one who should have loved her, cared for her, helped her take her first step, hugged her when she scraped her knee, made her feel safe and secure: her dad. But he did not. He was in jail for murder and when he did come out on bail all he did was beat her mercilessly with belts and sticks. Her mom who could have tended to her incomprehensible pain was also abused and one day just gave up and died. The young girl was now left to the mercy of her first tormentor who threw her into the den of sexual predators. She was sexually abused cruelly time and again. The so called boy friend was nothing but her pimp. One day he brought a toddler home and asked this physically, mentally, emotionally abused girl to look after her and vanished without giving her any money.

The young girl must have tried to do her best till the day the child became a handful like all 2 years old. She apparently fell and howled the whole night. It was too much for the young teenager. For a brief moment she snapped. Memories of belts and sticks on her raw skin, memories of unspeakable pain as her still nubile body was ravaged by wolfish predators flooded her mind as she found herself in a yet unknown position of power. For the first time she held the stick. A rage that must have laid dormant for too many years gushed out. Sanity vanished as she hurt the child without mercy doing for the first time what others had done to her for too long. Before she could take hold of herself the harm was done: Falak was broken beyond repair. I wonder how the girl must have felt when she regained her senses. Let us not forget that she was the one who brought her to the hospital. The question I ask is: do you still feel she should hang?

I don’t. The ones that should hang are her father, the so called boy friend, the women who led her to her to the flesh trade, the men who used and abused her, and above all the society that lets this happen over and over again and remains mute, unconcerned.

I had thought of ending this post but before I could do so more news came in. The horror continues relentless, never ending. The search for Falak’s biological mother far from bringing some healing has unearthed another tale of abuse. Falak’s mom is herself a victim. Forced into prostitution by the one she married, sold to another, her children taken away. The whole sordid tale seems to be a terrifying mix of flesh trade and child trafficking.The mother wants to see her child but this will be only after a DNA test. Maybe little Falak is holding on just for that moment. Last heard: her sister has been traced but no one knows where her brother is. One can only hope he is safe.

Falak made headlines a few days ago. But today she is only a news item. This is so reflective of the society we have become. True the human bites and battered body were sensational enough to ‘hog’ headlines for a short span of time. Now if there are more sensational inputs we will hear them too. But what about the real issues? Will they ever be addressed? I was horrified when a police officer in a press briefing refused to qualify Falak’s story as proof of child and women trafficking. She was quite content to term it an isolated incident where ‘everyone knew everyone’ whatever that means! My mind goes back to the Ghaziabad girls and their abuser. Though the sting operation that unearthed their tale went on to receive recognition and accolades, the plight of the girls remains unknown. I wonder what happened to their saintly abuser who is apparently on bail. Everyone lost interest. It just became yesterday’s news. Will Falak also become yesterday’s news.

All this makes me terribly sad. I had hoped, naively I guess, that Falak’s ordeal would be a wake up call. But I guess I forgot that she was born on the wrong side of the fence. The so called civil society would not take up her fight, as they would for one of their won. The outrage, if any, will be short lived. I wonder what makes us move. Every day we hear of some form of child abuse. We just carry on unmoved and dry eyed. Falak’s story will remain an individual one. Many will and have offered help. If she lives, Falak will be cared for. But about the other Falaks. Will we fight for better laws to protect our children. Maybe not as our children are not targets. It is time we change our attitude. It is time we start seeing with our heart. Falak’s pain can not be in vain.

Congratulations, your kid’s name is….

by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 6, 2012 | Uncategorized

Congratulations, your kid’s name is in the shortlist. You will have to pay Rs 1 lakh in cash. This is what many parents seeking nursery admissions for their children were told in school after school. The words and sum sought may have varied but the essence remained. You want a seat for your kid, you pay! You do not get any receipt and of course no refund. Hard to believe. But we have it from the horse’s mouth!

A recent sting operation by a leading News Channel exposed the shocking reality. What is even more distressing is the reason proffered by some: “We have no management quota. We only have EWS quota, where we have to teach kids for free. Earlier, 100 per cent of seats were liable to pay fee. Now it is not so. It is such a big school. How else do we recover our money spent?” Can you believe it. We had been led to believe that the 20% reservation in schools for poor children was an option to the common school which is something I dream of and was a way forward towards implementing the Right to Education Act. However we forgot that we are in India and ways would be found to circumvent the law. Now if schools thought of passing on the cost to the helpless parent, parents found their way too: resorting to getting fake EWS certificates. What gave them away their ability was their faultless English! I was always held that English made all the difference. Oops there is one option I forgot to mention: the tout! Give 250 000 Rs and your child gets his seat.

All this makes a mockery of the RTE bill and the whole EWS process. For me, the whole EWS was flawed and doomed to fail. When quizzed about the matter our CEO gave her jaded answer: I have not got any complaint, if I get one we will take action! But who will bell the cat, Madam. We are talking of harrowed parents worried about their child’s future. Sad but true: education is now a business with its own market forces.

Many uncomfortable questions come to mind and need to be addressed. To do see we need to take a little time and view the education scenario prevalent today. There are many kinds of schools. At one end of the spectrum the ones for the uber rich that are the prerogative of those who can afford them. Fees are astronomical. On the other end of the spectrum are the municipal schools that are in a pathetic conditions and hence not an option. In between you have the whole range of what goes by the name of public schools and the few better run government schools. There are public schools of all shade and hues that cater to the different strata of society. Some have a well established reputation and often in Delhi you have children traveling hours in buses to reach the school chosen by their parents. I remember how my own daughter had to travel to almost the other end of town as her school had shifted from a close location to another one. Blissfully we got transfered and the inane rides ended.

Admissions to schools has always been a nightmare. Many of us remember the interview process, the testing of toddlers and the rejection trauma. Every school has its own admission procedure and what ensued was mayhem. It was then decided to streamline the procedure and moot a common admission system. After much debate and discussion by all stakeholders a policy was drafted and a 100 point system established. So you were at an advantage if your child was a girl, lived in the school neighborhood, had a sibling in school. If you were an alumni then all the better and your qualifications mattered to! It all seemed flawed and unfair. So if you are a boy, a first child, and your parents are not well educated you run the race with a huge handicap. As for the neighborhood criteria I know first hand parents who were busy last month making fake tenancy agreement from diverse locations. So much for a transparent system. And as for the recommendation of having an affordable and common admission form.. forget it! Schools have individual forms that can cost anything from 200 to 1000 rs. So if you apply in different schools then be prepared to dish out a hefty sum. Admissions are a big business with good returns for the schools.

So what are the solutions. If we are to honour the RTE then it is time to address realities. A growing middle class means that capacity has to be increased and state run schools improved. Government schools sit on prime property and are well distributed across the city. It is time they were made a good if not the only option for the middle class. Over 700 such schools dispense early education but the quality is abysmal and thus not an option. As long as the state shuns its responsibility the yearly nightmare for young parents will continue and public schools will continue their aberrations. The children of India deserve their Right to Quality Education.