by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 14, 2009 | Uncategorized
A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty. Had anyone said those words to me a few weeks back I would have pooh poohed them away with a dismissive laugh. How could that be. And yet today as I roam my empty house I feel a huge hole in my heart, in that very place I never knew was empty.
Agastya Noor left for his home after spending five whole weeks with us, five weeks: almost half of his tiny life! While he was with us time flew and one did not have the time to sit and ponder about matters. Yet was I not the one who had stated that becoming a grand parent promotes you to another stage in life, one that entails contemplation and reflection. While he was here there was no time to think let alone reflect. Time just slipped past in a flurry of nappies and bottles. True that we were treated to his first smiles and gurgles but one hardly had time to stop and savour them. Then one day it was time to pack nappies and bottles and fly away leaving behind that huge gaping hole one never knew existed. It was time to reflect and puts things in perspective.
Why was it that from the time he left all that once seemed not only enough but plentiful seemed suddenly inadequate and wanting? Difficult to say. Logically one should be elated and content then why this feeling of despondency. Maybe it is because you realise that time is short and that you may not be able to do all that you would want to. The famous space in your heart that you never knew existed is the one that now needs to be filled and you do not quite know how!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 12, 2009 | Uncategorized
Utpal and Meher had a terrible tryst with fire when they were juts babe in arms. That terrible moment changed their lives forever. Perhaps this is the way the God of small persons operates.
Were it not for their scars these two spirited kids would have had very different lives. Utpal the child of a dysfunctional alcoholic family would have still been moving from home to home (as his parents were often shooed away by their landlords) and Meher would have had to bear the jibes and barbs of her peers who laughed at her maimed hands and scalded face. Neither Meher nor Utpal would have been in school.
But the God of small persons had decided otherwise. Both these children had been singled out and destiny had other plans for them but to accede to these plans the little souls had to undergo a baptism by fire. Today Utpal is in his third year in boarding school and had just been promoted to Class II and Meher has had her first surgery to repair her hands and face. Next year she too will join Utpal in school.
Strange are His ways… all we can say is Chapeau Bas!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 9, 2009 | manu
Manu is back home. Not quite healed but well on his way to full recovery though the road is still long. He came back home clutching a bunch of red roses given to him by his best friend and pal Prabin who had been by his side almost 24/7!
His road to recovery has been one of a kind. As he lay in his hospital ward almost moribund, many the world over prayed for him. Healers from the four corners of the world put him in a circle of love and held him there till the time we got news that he was out of danger.
Yesterday a mail dropped by informing me that a new blog had been created for Manu simply entitled: Manu destined to remind us who we are. I truly believe that a soul like Manu comes to this word with a real purpose. I know that if not for Manu there would have been no pwhy as we all know it. It is his plight that moved me to act. However for the past nine years I never truly delved on the purpose of a life like Manu’s.
It is only today that I understand the miracle of his life. I remember my father telling me that if we were to look for God we would find him by looking deep in the eyes of the poorest of the poor but that one needed courage to do so. I remember the beggar woman of yore years who had thanked me for simply looking into her eyes. I remember being told that all human life was precious and needed to be celebrated. I also recall my total bewilderment and incomprehension at such moments as to any so called logical or Cartesian mind what meaning can a wretched life have? Perhaps the answer are in the words: remind us of who we are. Perhaps such lives get us to look deep into ourselves and discover things that we did not know and compel us to walk the road less traveled.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 7, 2009 | Uncategorized
We were rummaging through old home photographs and memorabilia when my eyes fell on a small leather bound book. It was a copy of the new testament and belonged to Ram, my father. A couple of pages had been earmarked. I opened the first such page:
At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me. Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. (Matthew 18)
I had never heard Ram quote from the Bible or any other religious text and thus this came as a surprise. What was even more astounding was the content of the page marked. It was almost uncanny and surreal. Had I not been sitting and ruminating about how I would make both ends meet as we were/are again in the midst of a sever financial crunch. And had I not even considered, albeit for a tiny instant, packing everything up and moving on. True this was just a fleeting moment of weakness only I was witness to. But nevertheless it did happen.
Was this a message from Ram showing me the way and giving me the strength needed to carry on? I guess so. My thoughts went back to the day when I had stumbled upon a diary written by my mom and found in it many answers I sought. Once again in spite of being in another realm, my incredible parents had reached out to their hurting child. I knew what I had to do and above all knew that I would succeed.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 6, 2009 | okhla
What kept me going so well yesterday wasn’t only down to training. I kept reminding myself of the reason I was running, which was ‘Anou and the women and kids at Project Why’, and it gave strength to my legs to know that you were thinking of me.
These were the words written by an incredible woman who ran a 5 km race in Valencia just for us. She ran the race in 28 minutes and came 270 out of over 4000 runners. Irene started running late in life, when she was well above half a century and this was her first big race that and she ran it for us!
Irene and Andy came to project why for a short week last year and helped us rebuild the floor of our Okhla centre. Since then they have kept in touch and been regular donors to our cause. When Irene decided to run her race we truly thrilled. The creche children made a huge pink poster for her that said : Go Irene. And on the day of the race our thoughts were with her in spite of the thousands of miles that separated us.
When we saw her pictures we were overjoyed. It was really a special and precious moment. Over the past ten years pwhy has been helped and funded by heartwarming individual initiatives and that is what makes us unique. To some these may seem paltry and inconsequential but that is because they look with their eyes and not with their heart. We were terribly proud of Irene and cheered her with all our heart. You can even see her win the race here.
A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty. Had anyone said those words to me a few weeks back I would have pooh poohed them away with a dismissive laugh. How could that be. And yet today as I roam my empty house I feel a huge hole in my heart, in that very place I never knew was empty.
