by Anuradha Bakshi | May 15, 2005 | Uncategorized
last week a TV crew came and spent many hours filming projectwhy
in spite of many disappointing experiences in the past, somehow the arrival of cameras and mikes never fails to send a rush of excitement in everyone…
everyone puts its best foot forward, the right words are found, and hopes ride high..
maybe this time what one wants to convey will be said, be it one’s view on vital maters or the need for support that is ever present..
maybe this once the journo will add that one little word that could make all the difference..
then one waits for the appointed day and time..
what never fails is the sense of sadness as one watches the ‘show’ and the ensuing feeling of anger that always ends with the famous ‘never again’!
the feeling of having been used to get the much sought TRP points..
words you so carefully crafted are taken out of their context and lose all their meaning..
images truncated, smiles eliminated and tears magnified..
and the final result is something in which you look desperately for something familiar..
where is the happy place one had built with so much care and love..
where is the spirit, the energy, the images that give hope …
all i saw was one woman whose back seemed bent and who suddenly looked old to me…
and a silly thought crossed my mind: i need to get the yoga teacher back into my life!
and i felt happy to note that at least i still had my sense of humour..
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 14, 2005 | manu, utpal
It has been a eventful week, with beautiful moments :
the men in white have decreed.. utpal is not in danger, no dreaded B virus but just hepatitis A
and we may even be able to find the funds for Arun’ s much delayed surgery… the money collected by his family more than 2 years ago was used to pay for the funeral rites of his grandparents…
We also had some anxious moments too as manu had to be hospitalised with severe epileptic fits.. (imagine this young man of 30 had never been to a hospital as he had lived on the street protected by powers invisible to us)..
It was also show time as a camera crew visited and project why will be on on star news this sunday evening. It took me a long time to accept this newfound visibility, but i decided to set my usual dislike aside and oblige as maybe it would get us the help we so desperately need to see more children smile..
I am a little scared that being but human, i do not lose touch with reality, a reality that is that ramp lights shift away, flavours of the moment are transitory, new causes to be supported are found, medals lose their glitter, the newspaper page yellows and the writing fades away.. yet children continue to wait for heart surgeries while parents are busy paying for complex funeral rites
But today Utpal smiles and I want o believe that miracles are possible
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 14, 2005 | Uncategorized
The doctors have given their verdict
Utpal does not have the dreaded B virus but just a severe bout of hepatitis A
Utpal will have time to conquer more hearts and to share his laughter with many
I can only say that this happened because of all those who petitioned Gods of all colours and hues, even those who do not believe, but who decided to do so just this once…
And even the most forbidding deity had no choice but to make an exception and oblige…
Our little man just smiled when I held him…
And I saw what looked like a snake scurrying away into its hole
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 12, 2005 | Uncategorized
St Exupery’s beautiful fable has never ceased to fascinate me.
I got my first copy of the little prince as a young teenager in Algiers, a city so close to the sahara desert where he made his landfall. I would have never guessed that this beautiful tale would weave itself into the very fabric of my life…
It has provided me anwers where all else failed, given me direction when all seemed dark…
When I first heard Utpal laugh, months after his terrible ordeal with fire I heard myself murmur:
“little man, I want to hear you laugh again..”
At that moment I had not understood how deep that intuitive comparaison would turn out to be…
Many of you know that as I write these words, we wait for the verdict of the men in white, the words that will reveal the coordinates of his tryst with the snake..
As I wait, many of the questions that I asked myself over the years spent discovering the unfathomable mysteries of this tiny fable suddenly assume a new clarity:
Did the little prince appear to elucidate the true meaning of love, friendship, and other human feelings, or simply to tell the aviator that he would find the well and hence live!
Or was the little prince urging the aviator to start looking with his heart as he would not live long (st exupery passed away one year after writing the little prince)
Does the true meaning of the gift of the fox stop at explaining love as we see it, or does it ask us to take that extra step and understand that love has to be selfless to the point of letting go of the other, even it it means accepting the coming of the snake…
Many times, I have seen a seriousness bordering mysticism in little utpal. His reactions to ordinary occurences often have a profound meaning. He has provided answers to puzzling dilemnas. His ability to walk into people’s heart in no time is almost frightening, making one worry why he is in such a hurry…
What is Utpal trying to tell me.. that sometimes one has to take decisions that are not the obvious ones. That we humans cannot play god and that the inevitable has to happen. That sometimes people meet for a short time but one that is rich in rewards for both…
and the ultimate lesson that love means to accept the snake at the appropriate time as maybe that is the best one…
I urge all of you that have met him and those that have come to know him through my words to help me take the steps that the little prince expects me to…
so help me god!
i urge those of you who have not read the little prince to do so. but beware just like utpal, he walks into your heart!
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 10, 2005 | Uncategorized
look at this smile…
it belongs to a lovely lady I have never met in person, but who has walked into my heart across the screen of my computer.
sarmishtha is a software engineer and hold on a film maker!
she came to know about project why and decided to help… and it was not a simple cheque in the mail box or a click on the paypal button of our website, no sir!.. she decided to support our work by contributing a generous percentage of the net revenues of her maiden venture: french fries and curry ..
i sit and wonder what makes people like this young graduate of Berkeley University click! what miracle of creation ensured that her heart was in the right place and not lost in alien land..
i do not have the answer..
i have walked this planet for over half a century, and one thing is certain: whenever i seemed to be an inch of losing faith in humanity, a miracle always happened to steer me back on course.. that is how i have been able to carry on…
with the help of smiles like the one you see, and maybe an ocasional plate of french fries…
