by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 14, 2007 | ghaziabad girls
I have been in the begging business for seven long years.
If you look at the word ‘beg’ you find the following synonyms: panhandle, ask for money, seeking charity, seek alms.. not very gratifying and yet that is what I have been up to. I have used every trick in my book to try and persuade people to open their purse strings and reach out to help another. I presume one could pun a little and substitute pen for pan! And if you wonder why I have been in this trade at a time when my peers play cards and attend hen parties, well simply because what is thrown in my pan somehow miraculously transforms it self in incredible smiles: the smile of a child without hope, of a child who for the first time has passed an exam, the child whose heart is now fixed…
It has been a bittersweet journey as often those who could give never did and those who could not were the most generous. These years of soliciting were replete with lessons of life, some disturbing and annoying and some overwhelming and moving.
A recent post sought help for our dear ghaziabad girls. One of the most touching offers was from someone who lives thousands of miles away and whom I have never met but feel I have always known. The reason I share this story here is that her gesture epitomises the essence of what giving means. It is easy to give when you have a lot to spare or when you get tax or other benefits such as your name on page 3! But when you give most of what has come your way after hours of toiling in spite of excruciating pain, then that gift is invaluable and cannot be matched by another.
I will just her words speak for her:
Please, please send me an address, to send money towards the girls care? As mentioned, I just received notice, that I am to be paid for a logo-design I made for a male musician’s digital music business in the USA. He expects I will have this, on tomorrow or next day.. there is enough, for lee and for the girls!! I would love to help in this way, rather than send soap and things, the money could buy them there… please let me help them? Anou, I grew up in abject poverty; wearing panties with pins because they were my older sisters, handed down to me(3rd daughter).. I looked very much like those girls in the pictures… we were homeless once, and malnourished.. we were cold in winter, and lived on fresh berries, and root-vegetables in summer…. I know the pain of poverty, hunger, and the judgement on us by our community.. one does not forget their humble beginnings, so If my few dollars, will buy a box of bars of soap, or some much-needed supplies for the girls female needs.. I would be the lucky one to do this!! I’ll be waiting for an address…
What can I say but that when that gift comes, I will hold it close to my heart and send a silent prayer of gratitude for having had the privilege of receiving such a gift.
In this world where money means all, there are still are people who show us that there is something far more important called love! A lesson many of us forget..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 14, 2007 | utpal
I wrote about this little red bag many moons ago! After delivering its contents to Utpal’s dorm in school, it returned empty and sat in the linen cupboard waiting for its next mission. A few days back I retrieved it from the top shelf .
Om march 17th it will set off again to Uptal’s school and for there will accompany him to Karam Marg where little Mr p will spend a whole week with his mom and his sister. I have been filling the little bag with many things: clothes for him, and some for his mom and sis’, a pot of his favourite chocolate spread, and a few toys as it is his birthday on the 20th, one we will all be celebrating with him at K marg.
What an incredible journey this five year old has made in one year. His last birthday was celebrated in his home with his parents and some of us and I still remember how happy he was with the battery operated motorbike he rode with glee. A few days later his crestfallen face said it all: his bike had been sold for a few pegs of hooch. A week later hell broke loose as his mom sunk as low as one can imagine and he watched helpless from the arms of an unknown man.
In one day he lost everything his home, the presence of his mom and the man who he called papa.
But Utpal is one of a kind and he bore it all with dignity well beyond his age. He spent time at home and then on a fateful July day his bag and him walked through the gates of his new school where he walked into every one’s heart.
Nest week after a long long year utpal will sleep in his Mommy’s arms. For me it is probably one of the best moments of my life as I see this little family scattered helter skelter for reasons beyond any one’s control reunite amidst the greenery and the ducks of karm gaon.
I have filled his little bag with surprises and hope that he will be reminded of his maam’ji who loves him so desperately till I can hold him and whisper words of love in his ears.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 14, 2007 | two indias
I have been harping about the importance of environment issues, the plastic menace, the lurking water wars. I am the first to try and point this out when I wear my project why boss hat! Imagine my surprise when this morning in in the privacy of my bathroom I found myself lost in thought brushing my teeth with the tap running.
As I turned it off, I wondered how many times I must have done this offer, or for that matter how many times must I have not done what I preach. Many must have seen the now sated skit on environment where the page 3 lady is writing a speech on the importance of saving trees and throwing innumerable sheets of paper in the waste basket.
With great aplomb I had launched a programme with project why kids called once is not enough! It aimed at teaching children to use each thing twice: newspapers, plastic bottles, plastic bags etc. It was a great programme but somehow got lost in transit. Maybe because it was another instance of not practicing what one preaches and thus did not come naturally.
Our generation was brought up in believing that water was a perennial resource, and probably it was for those who lived in water rich areas. respect and awareness of the importance of water existed even in yore years.
My mother whose maternal grandparents lived in the city of Jodhpur often reminisced about how water was a rare and expensive commodity, and how women had mastered the art of using infinitesimal quantity of water for all their daily chores. Hair was plaited into tiny plaits and then woven into a mat on the top of the head, and washed every fortnight only. Mama and her brothers came from a city were water was in abundance and could never quite get used to the Jodhpur ways.
She also told me that during the marriage of her parents, her grandfather had spent huge amounts of money on water. The groom’s party had come from Benares by train. The train had been delayed and the auspicious time had gone by. The priests had then decreed that the next propitious time would be 10 days later. Now the marriage party could in no way return to Benares so stayed on, and as custom has it, all expenses had to be borne by the girls’ family. So the marriage party stayed and used water in large quantities. Frequent baths, great clothes washing sessions and of course great waste of water that was brought on camel back from wells situated miles away, and costing the earth!
A friend and mentor told me that the biggest culprit in the waste water saga was piped water and taps in each home. If we had to walk, albeit a few meters and draw water from a well/tank we would understand how precious it was. Many do not know about the violent fights that happen each day at water points in slums. One again we live in the misplaced idea that this cannot happen to us.
In days when plastic bags did not exist, women carried shopping bags, some so tiny that they could be slipped in a pocket. Few years back when people went abroad, we asked them to bring back the plastic bags they got in shops, as these were non-existent in India. Today plastic bags are everywhere and have replaced our traditional leaf wrapping. My daughter has been waging a war against plastic bags at home, and even pointed out that on some days more than 30 or 40 such bags entered our home. She practices what she preaches and has to battle with shopkeepers who often have wrapped your purchase in 1, 2, 3 bags before you have had time to react. True that we forget to carry bags, but were we to apply the once is not enough principle, then you ask the shopkeeper for an old and used bag hence delaying its reaching the garbage dump.
Last week drove out of Delhi into tiny villages and was appalled to see the mound of plastic that lay practically everywhere and even close to green fields. The day is not far when good agricultural land will turn barren courtesy plastic.
I is not easy to change mindsets, and lifelong habits, but the onus lies with us who are educated and can foresee the disaster that looms ahead. For me this morning’s incident has been a wake up call on two fronts: one to make a conscious effort in my own home even it it means sticking post its everywhere, the other is to revive the once is not enough project with all pwhy children.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 13, 2007 | ghaziabad girls
Yesterday my dear friend North sent a mail sharing her panic about her son Lee whose building was on fire. I cannot go to him, I cannot hold him, nor can I send him money to replace his loss’s… we both need prayers of courage and strength..
These were the words of a caring mother and they touched my heart all I could do was pray. A later mail told us Lee was safe.
North is a special person and she has been with me in all my difficult moments holding my hand so that i would not give up. In my battle to save utpal, she stood by me like a rock. She is one of a kind and never ceases to amaze me.
So when the mail seeking help for the ghaziabad girls reached her inbox this exceptional woman cast her own problems aside and immediately offered to help.
Spirit North is one of a kind. Invisible people we often fail to see as we do not know how to open the eyes of our heart and often look for the trivial, missing the essential. It is only in the last few years when I set foot on planet why that I was able to start seeing with my heart. If planet why is vibrant and ticking today it is because of many exceptional people who have reached out when they did not need to, and more than money which seems to be the only touchstone of our era, they reached out with their love and support.
To all of you who made my dream a reality I say thank you for being there!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 13, 2007 | ghaziabad girls, two indias
Dropping by Pwhy blog has become a bedtime affair now wrote a friend all the way from China. and goes on to say: and while I know every day probably passes quite like the other, do hope to hear more abt the pwhy kids and their families on your blog.
I stand corrected!
I have often spoken about the lure of comfort zones and yet I seem to be sinking into them so Ziong mail was a wake up call and caught me once again not doing what I preach. It is true that for quite some time I have been busy remaking the world forgetting all the little miracles that quietly slip by our planet.
So time to make amends and share some of them here. I must confess that I too fell prey to the very human habit we have of blowing up stray incidents and forgetting everyday occurrences. I often give pwhy kids the example of how we as families always never fail to remind our moms/wives about the extra salt in the food that may have happened once but conveniently forget to praise her for all the other 364 days when the food was great! I too have in the past few days shared more of the sporadic forgetting the habitual.
It is true that any perception of threat, particularly when one is responsible of so many innocent lives, should be taken seriously but come to think about it these are made by cowards who rarely translate their words into action! My compulsive concern on the glaring differences between the two Indias has also taken a lot of space, though I do believe that it is something we need to address sooner than later. However this should not have led to my not sharing some of the extra-ordinary moments of life on our planet.
That we have entered our seventh year beating all odds is in itself laudable. Once gain over 400 kids will not drop out of school and this too for the seventh year running. Some will op their class, some will leave school armed with a certificate and honourable marks. More than 50 children who did not go to school will come April join the ranks of school going children instead of landing up as child labour.
Our special kids to are learning at their own speed. They had their in house designer exams and were also able to show their results to their parents. Rinky has finished her beauty course and will soon get a job, who cares if she is deaf and dumb. Moreover their stitching classes are going on well and Shaheeda and Neha even made their own party suits. Coking classes are a great favourite and last week an incredible rice pulao was made by these children of a lesser God for guests from across the sea. It was heart wrenching to see Shalini in her apron waiting for an sign of appreciation and turning all red when she got a hug from Xavier.
And that is not all Nanhe who even I had given up on is now back in class, Deepak bounces along with his new heart the days of his near death experience forgotten and his huge scar healed. Anisha and Anil will be operated upon and Sapna’s mom will finally have her prolapsed uterus fixed after 4 harrowing years.
And there is more. Planet Why had many special visitors from the world over. And in spite of our being media shy the Lok Sabha channel had a 30 minutes programme on us while NDTV came to talk to the kids about their experience in school.
We also got news of our dear ghaziabad girls something we had been waiting for for a long time.
I am glad Ziong woke me from my long slumber!
Publish
