by anouradha bakshi | Mar 7, 2017 | Anou's Blog, Uncategorized
“At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since” wrote the inimitable Salvador Dali.
Dreams are never too big. Dreams are never too small. Dreams are dreams and dreams come true if you dare to dream. At Project WHY we do.
Last week we welcomed Lionel and his charming wife Leila. Lionel suffered an accident that left him paralysed and no one thought that would come the day when he would come and visit the children he had been supporting for many years. But Lionel is a dreamer who holds on to his dreams. His wife decided that come what may, Lionel would meet his beloved children at Project WHY.
No road was too bumpy; no door to narrow to come into the way of this dream. Lionel visited Okhla and Yamuna and could hold and hug the children he had only seen pictures of. The wheelchair could not climb stairs but the children came down and what else would be the topic of the day but dreams.
It was a wonderful and heart warming moment as child after child came to them and told they what their dream was: become a teacher, doctor, software engineer, pilot, army officer, police officer, singer, cricketeer, astronaut. It was touching to see boys and girls of all ages share their dream and for a tiny moment one forgot that these children came from underprivileged homes where surviving from one day to another was a challenge. But no challenge can come in the way of dreams and no dream is impossible.
As I watched these wonderful children some of whom I have seen grow for the past decade, I knew that the task was far from over and that these dreams had become mine. It was now time to make them come true!
by anouradha bakshi | Feb 28, 2017 | Anou's Blog, Uncategorized
Use the skills that I have got.
Do not focus on what I have not.
Of course, I am aware of my limitation.
Yet, I am a part of God’s wonderful creation.
William E. Lightbourne
A recent article brought once again the terrible plight suffered by mentally challenged souls. The article gives us a glimpse of the state of affairs in one of Delhi’s Home for the Mentally Challenged: overcrowding (4 to a mattress), filth, stink, inmates crawling for want of wheel chairs, no medical or psychological support, poor nutrition, no hygiene. The list is endless. And it gets worse: the inmates are even denied the last shred of dignity.
Was it instinct or God’s intervention that made me shun sending Manu to a ‘home’ I do not know. What I knew was that I was the one that needed to care for him. And in order to do that Project WHY saw the light of day. The biggest lesson I got was that no life, however wretched, was worthless. Every life was a plan of God.
And soon God’s plan unfolded as a little later a lady landed with a motley crew of differently abled children whose school had closed and who had nowhere to go. Project WHY’s doors were open even if their first class was on the road side.
by anouradha bakshi | Feb 14, 2017 | Anou's Blog, Uncategorized
Today is Valentine’s day. A day to celebrate LOVE! A day to remember what love truly means by going beyond the pink hearts and red roses! A day to take a walk down memory lane and reminisce about all the love stories of our lives. I have been blessed with many, each one as beautiful as the other but the most unexpected one was close to my 50th birthday and when a little scalded bundle swathed in bandages walked into my heart and changed my life forever.
That is not all. Two days ago when I visited the school for the ‘dreaded’ PTM I was handed a copy of the school magazine where one whole page was dedicated to this very special love story. And tucked away in a box was a poem dedicated to me and written by that little bundle of joy now a strapping and handsome teenager!
Feels wonderful.
I have written volumes about this little soul, even a book.
Today I simply want to share the magic of keeping your heart open. You never know who will walk into your heart and stay there forever age no bar!
It happened to be when I was 50 and he was 1!
This is the love story of Utpal and his Maam’ji!
Happy Valentine’s day!
Love is really in the air!
by anouradha bakshi | Feb 14, 2017 | Anou's Blog, Uncategorized
Sometimes a single word can reveal how deeply our society needs to change.
Recently, I came across two very different references to the word “ugly”. The first was the story of a remarkable woman who had spent years carrying the pain and humiliation of being called “the ugliest woman on earth”. The second appeared in a Class XII Sociology textbook while explaining the reasons behind the practice of dowry.
The first story was about Lizzie Velasquez.
Born with a rare medical condition, Lizzie faced cruel judgement from strangers who reduced her entire existence to her appearance. A video labelling her “the ugliest woman on earth” went viral, causing unimaginable hurt. Yet Lizzie refused to allow the world to define her. Today, she is a motivational speaker whose courage, kindness and resilience inspire millions.
Lizzie’s life is a powerful reminder that true beauty is not something that can be measured by a face, a body or society’s changing standards. It comes from within—from the strength of our character, the compassion we show and the courage with which we face life’s challenges
The second reference to the word “ugly” was far more troubling.
It appeared in a Class XII Sociology textbook, in a chapter on social problems in India. While explaining the reasons behind the dowry system, the book stated that if a girl was “ugly and handicapped”, it became difficult for her to get married, and therefore her parents were forced to meet higher dowry demands.
What does one say to such words?
A sentence like this may appear to be merely an explanation of a social reality, but words written in a school textbook carry immense power. They are read by young minds that are still forming their understanding of themselves and the world around them.
Imagine a teenage girl reading this passage and wondering whether society considers her less valuable because she does not fit a certain idea of beauty. At an age when so many young people already struggle with confidence and self-esteem, such messages can leave deep scars.
The truth is that many young people already carry enormous pressure to look a certain way. The standards of beauty presented through television, films and social media are often impossible to achieve.
I have rarely met a young girl who feels completely comfortable with the way she looks. Even those who are considered beautiful by others often find faults in themselves. They feel they are too tall or too short, too dark or too fair, too thin or too heavy. They worry about their skin, their hair, their features. Slowly, their confidence begins to diminish.
For girls who already grow up hearing that their worth is connected to marriage and acceptance by others, such messages can be deeply damaging. They begin to measure themselves not by their kindness, intelligence or dreams, but by whether they match someone else’s definition of beauty.
This is why the words we use matter. Especially when those words appear in books meant for children.
Many questions remain.
Who decides what beauty means? Why do we continue to measure people by physical appearance rather than by the qualities that truly define them? And when children’s textbooks contain such messages, who is responsible for ensuring that they do not reinforce the very prejudices we should be challenging?
Education is meant to open minds, build confidence and help children recognise their own worth. It should never make a child feel lesser because of the way they look, the family they come from or the circumstances of their birth.
We need to teach our children a different understanding of beauty—one that celebrates kindness, courage, compassion and resilience. A beautiful face may attract attention, but a beautiful soul leaves a lasting impression.
It is time we understood this.
by anouradha bakshi | Feb 8, 2017 | Anou's Blog, Uncategorized
A little girl was crushed to death by a vehicle last week. She lived in a shack under the Nehru Place flyover. Her family is part of the posse of beggars that live there. It is a spot I pass often en route to Project WHY and have been interacting with such children for very long. The fear of such a tragedy happening was always there. She was just like my little beggar girl of yore years.
The plight of children begging has been the one deafening why that is still unanswered. The only source of comfort is the opening of our Kalka Temple project for children like the little girl who lost her life. The children you see in the picture are all children of beggars and would be roaming the streets and begging. Now they study for a few hours and some even go to school. They may escape the grim future that beckons them. We will definitely try our best to ensure that.
Once again the death of this child brings to the fore the plight of children who beg on the streets.
When you see the smiles on the little faces in the picture, you see children just like any other. Nothing differentiates them. They are full of mischief and giggles, like to play pranks, love games and deserve what every child does!
It is time we stood up and did something for them!
by anouradha bakshi | Jan 31, 2017 | Anou's Blog, Uncategorized
The recent incidents of sexual molestation in Bengaluru have once again brought to fore the reality of gender biaises and the stranglehold of patriarchal values in across society.
Molestation, rapes and all form of sexual abuse are a power game wherein the perpetrator cannot accept the victim deviating from accepted norms. True there are some aberrations that defy all explanations the most deafening being the rape of children and babies!
Sexual abuse of children in often committed by members or someone close to the family. These are the ones that go unreported as they touch upon the honour of the family and what is terrible the code of silence is often imposed not by a male, but a female member of the family.
Patriarchy decreed the daughter would be the repository of the family’s honour. Why not the son? The son can do no wrong; this is a notion prevalent across the board, a sentiment aptly defined in the words of a leading politician: boys will be boys.
Every time there is a rape or molestation case civil society wakes up and, post a few candle lit marches and fiery speeches, sinks back into silence. What is always sought is the hanging of the perp as if that act alone would solve all issues.
Experience has shown that this is not the case as rapes and abuse continue with impunity. Recently a tailor, father of five was arrested for having molested hundreds of girls!
We need to protect our children as boys too suffer abuse. The statistics on chid abuse are terrifying. One child abused is one too many!
Long term solutions are not the need of the hour. Children cannot wait. What we are dealing with is age old mindsets that will not vanish overnight. Patriarchy is too deed rooted. The only immediate solution is to inform children about abuse and empower to say NO, a no so loud that it cannot be ignored. It all begins with the notion of ‘good’ touch and ‘bad’ touch.
This is something we do at Project WHY at an early age. Our effort is to also lend a patient and understanding year to every child.
Regular workshops for adolescent are conduced regularly in order to address all the questions that can never be asked within the four walls of a patriarchal home.
It is not easy to grow up in a slum. Though the family is uber traditional, the environment is quite different. Television has invaded the home and the ubiquitous smart phone had reached every hand each claiming its space, its supremacy. Think of the child, the adolescent, the teenager having to navigate in between these two!
We plan to have workshops on cyber crime soon.
We do our best to help children grow into responsible adults but above all we strive to give them a voice!
