All Blogs

nanhe is in hospital again.. and we are worried.. he was doing much better and we were waiting for the doctors to decide upon the next surgery.. two days ago he was unwell and was taken to hospital where he had a series of fit.. he was admitted immediately..

nanhe recovered from the fits but seemed to have disconnected and lost part of his hearing.. he was discharged but yesterday his fits appeared again and he is now in hospital in poor shape.. his smile lost somewhere in the recesses of his brain..

The doctors seem at a loss and we are all distressed.. and praying for a miracle.. and the return of his smile

For young Sandhya the wait continues.. after her chicken pox got over and the 61 K were deposited, sanhya went to AIIMS and we were hoping that a date for her angiography and subsequent surgery would be given fast. Well for some reason or the other it was not and the date written on the green card was 15 may 2006, 7 weeks from now.

sandhya, as some of you may remember hails from a small village in Bihar. Her father is according to sandhya’s mom ‘simple minded’ and cannot work much. they survive on the meagre income they get from the little land they have..

They came to Delhi after Sandhya’s debilitating ailment was detected and live with a sister-in-law in a tiny hovel.. now 7 weeks is a long time.. and guests can start feeling unwelcome.. but were Sandhya to go back, I fear that many would advise on the futility of making the trip again and wasting more money.. don’t forget Sandhya is just a girl.. this is when the famous gender issues we highlight take their most poignant form..

We will try our level best to pre-pone the date, it has become a matter of life and death!

great bike.. all boys want one some day.. a valid dream that can be yours if you work hard would be the normal line to pitch..

well not quite as one has been witnessing with growing panic..

our ersthwile quiet world has been invaded by a new army.. and eebiz is the buzz.. in the past few months in spite of our best efforts, there is a proliferation of new recruits all in their newfound attire of black pants and white shirts and black ties..

the pyramid sale vessel has landed in our slum.. and two captains selected from our very own to lead the new army. One of them is our very first class X student..

the buzz is that 7500rs can give you the world.. learn and earn.. join the internet highway.. just buy a self learning education package!

Stop I scream.. the people targeted are practically illiterate and can barely survive.. but who is listening when the captains have got gleaming bikes and even a ford fiesta… and as more gullible people go scurrying to borrow the needed sum at alarming interest rates, young people get drawn into the net as the captains earn more..

but there are subtler dangers, the unexpressed jealousy and resentment.. the possible violence that can take all kind of hues when people lose all they have invested.. when the promised money remains elusive and the money lender’s is at your doorstep..

Recently many articles were written on young Rubiya from Kerala, a muslim girl who is a bharatnatyam dancer and has danced since age 3.. often to sustain her family. When shunned by the local mosque committee this 17 year old retorts with rare wisdom:“God is one. When I pay ritualistic obeisance through mudras , I am imploring not just the Hindu gods but the supreme creator, which we call by different names.”

The woman in the picture is Saira Bano, and yes she wears sindoor and a bindi! She is the perfect example of the good grassroot politician.. A midwife by profession, she became a social activist to help women and their families..

Armed with courage and rare common sense, she slowly established her network that includes the local politicians and administrators who all cannot help but admire her.. She is the one who helped us set up our okhla programme and stood there at every step, negotiating with goons and cops with her determined smile and never-say-die attitude.. and even got the local SHO (police in charge) and the local municipal corporator to our Republic day celebrations.

Asked about sindoor and bindis.. she retorts: When in Rome.. do as the romans do – for her it was an easier way to get entry into homes..

Now the question everyone wants to ask is about the reaction of her brethren: her answer is simple.. a mussalman is one with true Iman or honour, and that she has.. and as long as her husband and children understand her, she is not afraid of of anyone..

Incredible women in Incredible India

Went to what at best could be called a funding fantasy.

The cause AIDS children in the north eastern states of India; the venue: an up market club; the sponsors: jewellery tycoons; the guest list: Delhi’s very own page almost 3; the chief guest: a minister.. food and drinks; the mandatory fashion show that went on and on; an auction that never happened because there was always an anonymous bidder that bid more than the bidder (seems fishy) and a quiz that did not ask questions about AIDs but about how many diamonds were in the bustier the lady wore in the picture on the screen..! and the finale: a cheap rendering of the actual charbuster where a poor woman gyrated amidst cat calls..

This is not fantasy or an imaginary event, I attended it myself though I had to keep pinching my arm to believe it was real..

rewind to 12 years back
My thoughts went back to a charity event organised in France some years back, where the main message the organisers and the VIP invitees wanted to put across was the need to show people that HIV +ve people could be touched and hugged and this was done with dignity and grace.. I almost felt like going to the mike and telling people that there were some HIV positive people among the guests.. wonder what would have happened..

rewind to 10 years back
I cannot forget the time I spent at Micahel’s care, a haven where people with AID could die with dignity, and the words of a young north easterm mother who was close to death: just sit by me and hold my hand didi.. I did..

rewind to 10 weeks back
In the ward where nanhe was admitted, was a child with high fever. he had lost his parents and was there with his aunt.. all was well till the tests results came back.. he was HIV +ve. The nursing staff’s behaviour changed with immediate effect and as the buzz started attitudes changed.. needless to say he was gone the next time I visited. I felt sorry as I had come with information about the new free tri-therapy.. and in spite of my bst efforts , I could notfind the family.I just have his picture and his smile and keep wondering: is he still smiling...

This is the India we live… And notwithstanding how much the charity made that evening, I wish they had used the evening to spread a little awareness about AIDs.

These words dropped in the mailbox this morning: “I am just about to lose my patience here with ….. I don’t understand what their problem is – seems like they just want to dissect each issue to pieces forsaking the larger picture at hand.”

They were written by a supporter trying to harness some help for pwhy from a funding organisation.. Unlike many pwhy supporters who have never been to see us but still have found us worthy and extended generous help, this friend had been to pwhy and spent time with us..

Welcome to the world of funding organisations and their excruciating paper work.. Welcome to a world where trust and giving have been clouded by extreme caution bordering suscpicion..

Some time back words like these use to infuriate me.. now they make me smile, though a sad smile.. I have diligently answered questions and filled forms while trying to softly share my concern and views.. I have also watched with detached amusement those who have been sent to evaluate us, counting children to meet the mentioned figure.. this in spite of my having explained that ours is an after school centre for children who sometimes leave, where the numbers can vary according to season, and holidays and festivities…

Education, development, awareness are all issues that make sense only if one can gain the trust of the people and to gain that trust one sometimes has to make course corrections and changes.. Solutions are not right if they cannot transcend time and space and that is why we have been doggedly trying to evolve a model which can be self sustained, not only where funds are concerned, but in the realm of skills and resources, keeping the costs to a bare minimum..

So we run with local staff who often to not have the skills to meet the complex formalities of many funding organisations.. though they do wonders with the children. For us getting someone to do that would equal the cost of setting up two primary extensions!

People still laugh at my rupee-a-day funding fantasy.. but it is one I do not give up on and find myself sometimes dreaming of the day when many such centres will exist and will be funded by local people: the parents, the shopkeeper, the flat resident, the local businessman.. and what makes me hold on is the sight of little Vishal counting his cars painstakingly in an environement where is childhood is safe

teach my child english.. was the first things many parents asked me six years back when i first landed on planet why.. now many may think why every parent feels that english is necessary for their children.. come on what use would a vegetable vendor or a mechanic do with english..

this is what i discovered on the brand new sign board of my vegetable vendor who now has to cater for the foreign clients and the new eating fads.. bins spraut, red cabies and spair grace are eaten by all – we are talking of bean sprouts, red cabbage and asparagus in case you had not figure it out – and so are jugnis or jugnu as radhey my scooter driver calls zucchini.. we are in the world of phonetics and hindi prononciations faithfully transcribed by a signboard painter! Do not forget the lemongrace tea!

what a delight.. and let us hope it stays like this.. at least it brings a smile when nothing else does

My heart went out to Nandini has she heaved herself down the lane, her precious books in her hand, I asked her to come and sit with me and then enquired upon what the doctor has said. This matter of fact young lady told me that she could not be operated upon till she was 40 and that she had been told to carry on doing all she did but not strain herself or carry weight..

To bring a smile on her face, I told her that according to me studying did not require carrying weight.. so she could hold on to her dream and work towards becoming a doctor.. Nandini is dying to go back to Sipaul, to her school as exam time is near. I too want her to go as the good clean air and fresh food will go a long way in helping her keep healthy..

I sat a long while trying to find an explanation for the family as I knew the reality: it was too late to repair her heart and that she would have to live with a heart beating twice as fast as a normal one.. she would not be able to do many of the things that a young girl her age does..

Later when the mother came with her uncle, I told them that her body had repaired itself just as a broken bone does if not attended to, and that it was working fine so the doctors did not want to mess with it.. nature does things its way.. I told them to make sure she studies, and not to think of getting her married.. she wanted to be a doctor. Well maybe she would be one..

I would like to see that Nandini finishes her studies and gets the support she needs to do so: books and extra tuition, and when the time comes who knows maybe she will make it to medical school.. miracles do happen if one wants them enough.

Welcome to why house – for want a better name – this where we will soon be moving, or at least part of us.. this is also a transition time for pwhy.

We at pwhy have always held that children from all walks of life should attend regular school. schools run by the state as that is the only way of ensuring that every child born in India can have access to its right to education, one that the constitution guarantees.. we have more than once voiced our concern at the slowly emerging pattern of privatisation of schools and setting up of parallel second rate systems for the under-privileged child.. that is why we ensure that all our children are mainstreamed into the existing system.. our task his to help them succeed and hence contain drop out rates..

Our first task was to prove to ourselves and others that we could do this with resources drawn from within the community we work with and; it is a matter of pride to say that we had a 99% result in the 6 years of our existence.. It is now time to fine tune our model.

why house will house our babies and special kids but all our primary centres will now be in the field, so that we can slowly create new ones and reach out more children with minimum costs.. taking us slowly to the day where we hope the community will raise the basic costs and we will act as a training-cum-monitoring vehicle.. and provide the add ons..

Our secondary outreach which will soon become self-sufficient will continue where it is.

Jump for my love.. said the pointer sisters in their famous song!

Wonder what A is jumping for…

A is an autistic child and lives locked in his world that no one understands.. not even his own family.. his mother loves him but does not know how to, his father does not have time for his antics..

At pwhy he is happy because we make an effort of entering his world and we do not check him for what may seem strange to others.. we know it is just his way of expressing himself.. for some time now we have been aware that A sometimes does not know how to deal with his abundant energy.. when a friend asked us if there was anything we would like to have, we thought of a trampolin knowing that the kids would love it..

At first hesiatnt the children soon caught the trick but it was A who took to the trampolin like a fish to water.. and he jumped, higher and higher, finally finding a way to release all that pent up energy, one that would not entail any censure or reprimand..

I have always been fascinated by the theory of synchronicity. One of the definitions I like is the following: ” Synchronicities are people that come your life to help you evolve or to place emphasis on something going on in your life. “

I sat this afternoon taking a break from things and zapping TV channels.. two of them caught my attention and interest: the replay of Dead Man Walking and an interview of Dionne Bunsha on the relase of her book: Scarred – experiments with violence in Gujarat. In the former Susan sarandonm was desperately trying to find some way finding a shred of good in the condemned man, and in the later the young journalist was trying to expain that even the worst perpetrators of injustice were convinced they were doing something good. “They are people who see themselves as some sort of Robin Hoods working for the betterment of their religion.”

The little hands in the picture are today raised to show off the paint smeared on them after a fun painting session.. tomorrow the same hands can lend their support to fight for justice like jessica lal’s or to lend support to some destructive mission fuelled by misguided robin hoods! Lst week, when we asked who George Bush was, little 10 years olds said in unison: an international terrorist.. the reason being the innumerable posters plstered all over the slums saying so.

Every day one is made aware of the frightening reality of young people becoming prey to misguided propaganda. This more so in urban slums where life for young boys is not easy and tentations many so the lure of a mobile phone, a bike, a CD player, a credit card can make regular kids into potential criminals… We have seen this happening with dubious pyramid selling agencies who seek out the most vulnerable and offer them the moon!

There is an abundance of energy that exists in kids living in the highly charged atmosphere of urban slums, an energy that is ready to be tapped.. and many are aware of this. It is never the leader who pulls the trigger or plants the exploding device.. they neeeds hands to do so.. hands that today maybe smeared with paint but who knows what will happen tomorrow..

It is our duty as a civil society to do something today and now!

It has been some time since I wrote about nanhe.. so here is some news.. he has been back at pwhy and thrilled to be with his friends.. and rearing to make up for lost time..

Since his return he has had several outings and no sir not only to the hospital: Nanhe visited Qutab minar and went for a birthday lunch to Dilli Haath!

Last week, he even cleaned the coriander that was used in the lovely pullao that the special section made for all the staff…

But little Nanhe and his smile have a long way to go.. another surgery lurks in the corner.. one that needs to be done to remove the many stones in his kidneys..

some people wonder why fight for a child like nanhe.. the answer is simple.. no matter how short the life of a child is.. we at pwhy believe that it should be lived to its fullest.. and nanhe today is doing just that!

It is always very difficult to find the right birthday gift for your adult child.. you are either likely to go wrong or land up giving something they already have..
And yet each parent wants to make the right choice.. Steve and Sandy oudid everyone and found something very special for their son.

Hello–we are the parents of Taylor McHolm, who volunteered at the crèche in Delhi during the six month he lived in India. (In Nov. of 2005 you had a picture of him in your blog, which made us cry, and made us very proud—so we sent it to all our relatives!) My wife and daughter also visited the school with Taylor when we were in India last November. Taylor’s birthday is March 2, and we would like to adopt the crèche where he worked for a few months, in his honor.

Taylor is an exceptional young man, one his parents can be proud of. In his short stay with us he made a big difference and everyday we cannot but think of him when Lali smiles, or the twins walk.. he would be happy to know that Manoj is getting better and that many of the children he loved are learning new things. And kudos to Steve and Sandy who could not have found a better birthday gift: one that will not only bring joy and a lovely smile on Taylors’ face, but one that will for months to come, ensure that over 20 little children can come to play school, play with their pals, giggle and laugh, and of course, learn new things.

So happy birthday Taylor, we miss you and love you!

Note: lali is the one carrying the placard and manoj waves from urmila’s arms

Wedding time seems to have gripped our city and we have had an array of them: from the creme de la creme to the simple folk.. wedding bells were ringing

If people did not stop talking about a recent page 3 wedding that panned three cities and many nights, we had our own page 0 wedding. A young dalit girl got married and though there were not many to comment on it, it was a big wedding with the groom on a chariot, a snazzy tent, international food and a dowry where washing machine, color TV and VCD players were proudly displayed.. one will for the moment not mention that much of the money was borrowed some of it a 120% a year!

Two ends of the spectrum..

Then there was another wedding one attended, where most of the guests were from planetB… people who belonged to the sacrosanct world of India’s ruling class. Now the talk of the day was j.lal and justice denied.. good point to start talking about India and the spectrum, where justice is denied everyday to people.. I was startled to see how little they knew about the land they represent or administer. We talked about many things from slum weddings to slum schools.. and I was amused to see that to many, it seemed as if i were talking of another planet. This is how little people know about the other side of midnight..

The little girl in this picture was merely a thought, when her sister was brutally murdered in what seemed to be a human sacrifice.. no matter how hard we tried, no proper FIR was registered and in spite of appeals to the NHRC and the police authorities, the case was explained as two children – the little girl age 5 and her cousin age 3 – having decided on their own to cross busy roads and find their way in the dark of the night to one manhole that had been left opened..

Rohan and Puja did not have parents that could fight for them.. and we did not have sufficient clout..

So if today j. lal’s case can restore justice and make some lasting changes in our legal system, it will herald new hope. Muscle and Money the two dreaded M’s have to be overpowered and only civil society can do that.. Today’s fight may seem a page 3 one, but it is not so, as the outcome of this outrage will change things for every one who suffers injustice.. and ensure that little Nidhi will lead a safe life..