A bone to the dog is not….
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog..
goes the proverb
The past days have seen a flurry of activity as an entire network of whyBees have been buzzing in order to ensure that young Arun’s hurting and tired heart is repaired..
There has been no dearth of support in terms of concern, love, time and all those intagible things that add real value to things..
Money too.. of course!
In everyone’s mind only one thought and the same silent prayer in everyones’ heart: Arun has to make it!
nothing seems important at this moment..
We all know that the surgery has been made possible by the help of the big O.. the details of which i will share one day, but beleive me when I say that I fell of my chair when I got a call, yesterday, when Arun is still battling for life, and the operation a week away, requesting me to be part of a pr excercise highlighting the achievements of the O family!
I was to learn later via the net that ‘they‘ wanted ‘us‘ (that includes Arun who is not allowed to move) to get to a Reliance web world (whatever animal that is).. etc etc
I just answered that at this moment I felt that decency demanded that we just focus on Arun’s well being!
Whether the big O had come by or not, Arun’s operation would have taken place, we had set our famous “Virtual begging Bowl” in motion..
Is charity the latest fad to get publicity… and at what price
Can the pr excercise at least wait for the child to be well… it would just be humane and decent..
Let me share a quote of St Exupery, the pilot who conjured the Little Prince I so love:
Charity never humiliated him who profited from it, nor ever bound him by the chains of gratitude, since it was not to him but to God that the gift was made.
and blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting
Have we lost the ability to see with our heart as the Little Prince urged us to!
whose heart is it anyway!
Arun, a dalit boy of 13 who looks 9 will undergo heart surgery next week…
Today we were worried as the doctor feel his condition is deteriorating…
A wonderful support network has suddenly been set in place by the magic of the net and people from all walks of life, people who maybe a few moments back did not know each other, or project why have been by woven by invisble strings into a beautiful web of love and concern for an unknown child.
Arun should have been operated 2 years back; his parents had even collected part of the funds requirted, but the sudden demise of both his paternal grand parents led to the funds being used for funeral rites.
The family could never collect the sum again as the father lost his job and two sisters had to be married..
Arun waited in the wings, nursing his hurting heart…
Did the child ever question the unfairness of life or did he simply accept the reality he was born into: that children are very low on the scale of priorities..
Time went by, slowly taking its toll of many hurting hearts…
We got to know about Arun only a month back and set what I have decided to name why’s support network in motion. mails were sent, calls made and slowly the impossible seemed possible..
Then came recognition, media glare, celluloid promises and hope that maybe this time things would be different. They were as arun’s main operation is taken care of by a complex nexus that I will chose to ignore as it gets the worts out of me. There were battles, and some home truths spelt out but then things fell in place and the date has been set.
But silently, in the background the little whyBees continued to spin their web and fill all the spaces still left, always ready to work harder should nexuses fail!
maybe i should get the yoga teacher back
last week a TV crew came and spent many hours filming projectwhy
in spite of many disappointing experiences in the past, somehow the arrival of cameras and mikes never fails to send a rush of excitement in everyone…
everyone puts its best foot forward, the right words are found, and hopes ride high..
maybe this time what one wants to convey will be said, be it one’s view on vital maters or the need for support that is ever present..
maybe this once the journo will add that one little word that could make all the difference..
then one waits for the appointed day and time..
what never fails is the sense of sadness as one watches the ‘show’ and the ensuing feeling of anger that always ends with the famous ‘never again’!
the feeling of having been used to get the much sought TRP points..
words you so carefully crafted are taken out of their context and lose all their meaning..
images truncated, smiles eliminated and tears magnified..
and the final result is something in which you look desperately for something familiar..
where is the happy place one had built with so much care and love..
where is the spirit, the energy, the images that give hope …
all i saw was one woman whose back seemed bent and who suddenly looked old to me…
and a silly thought crossed my mind: i need to get the yoga teacher back into my life!
and i felt happy to note that at least i still had my sense of humour..
7 days on a planet
It has been a eventful week, with beautiful moments :
the men in white have decreed.. utpal is not in danger, no dreaded B virus but just hepatitis A
and we may even be able to find the funds for Arun’ s much delayed surgery… the money collected by his family more than 2 years ago was used to pay for the funeral rites of his grandparents…
We also had some anxious moments too as manu had to be hospitalised with severe epileptic fits.. (imagine this young man of 30 had never been to a hospital as he had lived on the street protected by powers invisible to us)..
It was also show time as a camera crew visited and project why will be on on star news this sunday evening. It took me a long time to accept this newfound visibility, but i decided to set my usual dislike aside and oblige as maybe it would get us the help we so desperately need to see more children smile..
I am a little scared that being but human, i do not lose touch with reality, a reality that is that ramp lights shift away, flavours of the moment are transitory, new causes to be supported are found, medals lose their glitter, the newspaper page yellows and the writing fades away.. yet children continue to wait for heart surgeries while parents are busy paying for complex funeral rites
But today Utpal smiles and I want o believe that miracles are possible
back to his hole
The doctors have given their verdict
Utpal does not have the dreaded B virus but just a severe bout of hepatitis A
Utpal will have time to conquer more hearts and to share his laughter with many
I can only say that this happened because of all those who petitioned Gods of all colours and hues, even those who do not believe, but who decided to do so just this once…
And even the most forbidding deity had no choice but to make an exception and oblige…
Our little man just smiled when I held him…
And I saw what looked like a snake scurrying away into its hole
as the snake waits in the wings
St Exupery’s beautiful fable has never ceased to fascinate me.
I got my first copy of the little prince as a young teenager in Algiers, a city so close to the sahara desert where he made his landfall. I would have never guessed that this beautiful tale would weave itself into the very fabric of my life…
It has provided me anwers where all else failed, given me direction when all seemed dark…
When I first heard Utpal laugh, months after his terrible ordeal with fire I heard myself murmur:
“little man, I want to hear you laugh again..”
At that moment I had not understood how deep that intuitive comparaison would turn out to be…
Many of you know that as I write these words, we wait for the verdict of the men in white, the words that will reveal the coordinates of his tryst with the snake..
As I wait, many of the questions that I asked myself over the years spent discovering the unfathomable mysteries of this tiny fable suddenly assume a new clarity:
Did the little prince appear to elucidate the true meaning of love, friendship, and other human feelings, or simply to tell the aviator that he would find the well and hence live!
Or was the little prince urging the aviator to start looking with his heart as he would not live long (st exupery passed away one year after writing the little prince)
Does the true meaning of the gift of the fox stop at explaining love as we see it, or does it ask us to take that extra step and understand that love has to be selfless to the point of letting go of the other, even it it means accepting the coming of the snake…
Many times, I have seen a seriousness bordering mysticism in little utpal. His reactions to ordinary occurences often have a profound meaning. He has provided answers to puzzling dilemnas. His ability to walk into people’s heart in no time is almost frightening, making one worry why he is in such a hurry…
What is Utpal trying to tell me.. that sometimes one has to take decisions that are not the obvious ones. That we humans cannot play god and that the inevitable has to happen. That sometimes people meet for a short time but one that is rich in rewards for both…
and the ultimate lesson that love means to accept the snake at the appropriate time as maybe that is the best one…
I urge all of you that have met him and those that have come to know him through my words to help me take the steps that the little prince expects me to…
so help me god!
i urge those of you who have not read the little prince to do so. but beware just like utpal, he walks into your heart!
french fries and project why
look at this smile…
it belongs to a lovely lady I have never met in person, but who has walked into my heart across the screen of my computer.
sarmishtha is a software engineer and hold on a film maker!
she came to know about project why and decided to help… and it was not a simple cheque in the mail box or a click on the paypal button of our website, no sir!.. she decided to support our work by contributing a generous percentage of the net revenues of her maiden venture: french fries and curry ..
i sit and wonder what makes people like this young graduate of Berkeley University click! what miracle of creation ensured that her heart was in the right place and not lost in alien land..
i do not have the answer..
i have walked this planet for over half a century, and one thing is certain: whenever i seemed to be an inch of losing faith in humanity, a miracle always happened to steer me back on course.. that is how i have been able to carry on…
with the help of smiles like the one you see, and maybe an ocasional plate of french fries…
ninety three
ninety three
two simple digits, but ones that should have tranformed the lives of the children of India:
I am referring to the ninety third amendment to the constitution of India..
It took half a century for the children of Independant India to get the right to free education. It should be a cause of celebration… but then all is not well on planet India…
A few weeks back a senior government official asked me whether I would like to ‘take over’ the local municipal school. At first I thought it was a joke.. but soon realised the person was serious…
I was in the presence of the so called privatisation of education, that one had been hearing of for some time.
My blood ran cold…
The state was simply abdicating its duty towards education and handing it over to whoever would want it… and i why should anyone want it if not for commercial reasons.. we were not talking philantrophy here…
Yes it is the fashion of the day to hand over what one is not able to run, be it a natural resource like water to the running of complex organisations like power, to mundane ones like garbage collection… but has anyone stopped to think what this would mean…
Handing over municipal schools to commercial interests simply means denying millions of children their constitutional right to education… yes i am sure some palliative will be found, some form of literacy or the other for which someone will find a befitting and conscious easing name… and society wil be further divided..
An easy way to solve problems.. maybe next time we cannot handle our own children let us give them to the highest bidder!
alONE – the week after
citizen one
was the award that a daily paper decided to select me for..
moment of great joy for the younger gang of project why who are still, thank god, simple hearted and honest and thus view life that away, a gang ably led by shamika..
moment of bewilderment and some satisfaction i must confess as i am but human…
and then on 29th April a ceremony with to add glamour and glitterati, a bollywood actor..
to many this would seem to be ‘my big moment’ .. messages drop by the mail box, for many it seemed one had ‘got there‘..
but i ask myself ‘got where‘ as the reality stares at me, a reality that becomes scarry…
let me first share what i wrote to the Today Editor on the very next morning
“…
it was wonderful meeting you yesterday
and i would like to thank you for having given me this unique moment
i feel humbled
i hope that this recognition will help in getting the children of
delhi access to meaningful education and this can only be possible if
the people of delhi come forward and help sustain such initiatives
we feel that true development can only take place in a democratic way
when we realise that each one of us have a role to play
we have a small initiative called just one rupee a day which we feel
is very doable
our work necessitates about 4000 one-rupee-day donors … not 4000 rs
a day but 4000 one rupee donors, therein lies the difference between
‘charity’ and commitment
i did mention it to vivek oberoi ( who said he might help). mr arun
purie wondered how we could collect the same. well we can as we have
evolved mechanisms we feel would work…
to me it is not a matter of simply getting pwhy to continue, it is
more an approach to community development and empowerment
and Today is the right instrument for this approach
in a country like India no matter how many individuals there are,
numbers will never be reached unless we evolve a model that is steered
and maintained by the very community one wants to reach
the award i received yesterday was great positive stroking (i am but
human) but to me its true vindication is when and if it brings about a
real change in mindsets. our city, which lies too close to power for
its own good, has lost its heart, maybe we can help it find it
again…”
any award that carries a name like citizen one is definitely weighty (just like the statue given). one cannot just walk away and do nothing. such recognition does compel you to do something larger and more meaningful… and that becomes even more difficult when most of those who write in, feel that somehow that one event has solved all your problems..
i will have to stay clear of pits in which i may fall, of easy way outs that will take away from project why the very spirit that allowed it to reach where it has.. and walk the planet one day at a timei feel more alone than i ever was, longing for the comfort of being just one tiny project reaching out to a handful of children, and above all i know that not matter how many kuddos land my way, i have to keep myself together and remember that it is only by remaining humble that i can achieve something meaningful…
it is now that i need the support and goodwill of all those who have walked with me this far..
there are many ways opened to project why, and one will have to chose the right one…
so help me god!
where is the soap..
we have our own little prince.. a three year old bundle of pure joy named Utpal.
he suffered third degree burns when he was one and everyone gave up on him, even the men in white, but we did not…
today he fights for his life again as he has been diagnosed with a damaged liver..
we are all shattered… and wonder why he should be made to suffer again…
i can but think of st exupery’s beautiful fable ‘the little prince’ and draw analogies: just like the little prince, utpal seems to have come to bring joy, happiness and love to some many of us.
he is busy discovering the multitude of sub-planets that make our planet Earth. Last week he met with a fiver star hotel and a strange water body called a ‘pool’. bewildered at first, he finally entered the pool and then perplexed looked around and asked for soap!
Utpal’s journey on this planet continues.. he has a wide network of friends from the world over as utpal is a master at walking into people’s heart…
there is still so much more for him to discover.. walk by the sea, sail in a boat, feel the caress of a snow flake, climb a coconut tree…
and yet, for all those who know the tale of the little prince, their is a serpent waiting…
i just wish he loses his way…
for those of you who do not know him, here he is, but beware he may just walk into your heart too..
wedding planners with a difference
this morning i watched project why’s very own wedding planners at work and boy was i amazed…
somehow i never realised the meticulous work that these two girls had put over the past weeks..
two dinners, the ceremonies from the boy and girls side, an elephant for the groom, the music, the DJ, a photographer, the wedding cards, everything executed with discreet efficiency while going about they day-to-day work…
my eyes were somewhat moist as i watched in silence…
whose baby is it anyway!
yash is now two months old..
he came to us when he was barely 2 weeks..
the hands feeding him are not his mother’s but to him they are safe hands..
yash’s story is that of many children who are brought into the world for all the wrong reasons..
no one has thought of a lifemap for them…
they are used to fulfill selfish ends..
but yash is also an indian child who has rights, only someone has to take on the responsibility of protecting those rights…
his mother uses him to get what she needs…
in a country where options are few, maybe one should think of setting up the concept of foster homes, where a child can be safe while his parents decide what they want to do…
this is something we have been thinking of at project why.. and maybe just call it SHE (safe home extension)
in many countries just homes exist, and foster parents can earn some money while looking after children..
if one could identify a few families within the community and be the training-cum-monitoring agency, one may have a doable option..
to be continued…
a unique wedding
claude de scoraille landed yesterday…
this is the very lady who dropped by in december to visit project why and then was touched by the magic of pwhy in a unique way: she decided to get married in the giri nagar slums..
a traditional indian wedding with the groom coming on an elephant and then a party with DJ and dance floor and the music of Dhoom in the Shiv mandir hall…
strange, as she and gregoire have been living together in a land where marital ties are not a social must..
to her, being with the children had made her want to take the ultimate step she had not felt the need for..
so april 30th 2005 will witness a strange union…
the card says “the children of project why request the pleasure of your company…” and it will be a wedding where children will play host.. and also be chief guests..
to many it may seem a PR gimmick..
well it is not so..
to all of us it is a unique experience, one that we could not have experienced if claude and gregoire had not taken this step..
this wedding trascends countries, social strata, religions, conventions, mores, traditions and much more..
it is a celebration of everything project why stands for: a meeting of human hearts. It brings together and weaves into a magical night elements that no one could have dreamt of …
i hope the memories of this unique night manage to bring down the complex and suffocating walls that often emprison us and stops us from loooking with our hearts
day one
why a blog after five years of existence..
well because we have grown..
because memory fails..
because so much that happens on this little planet needs to be shared and remembered..
so let us start just by talking about today..
as usual teh day began just like many others
kids came, teachers too, some late as usual with their string of excuses..
the three wheeler overflowing with children halted and out come little monty, barefoot as usual but suddenly all grown up..
was this the same kid who we had nursed and almost thought we would lose, the one who lay in hospital with his huge head and terrible ear infection.. the one we had to find blood for more than once..
i remember the day when i reached a party and instead of the usual ‘hi’ hear myslef saying, ‘hey i need blood’..
yes the same monty who came with his sister Sapna then 4 year old, who was mentally retarded and could barely hold her head up..
today she walks a little but is still lost in her world, but little monty has become taller than now 6 year old..
no big deal many would say..
but for me looking at monty today was like seing two years of project why…
and feeling strangely content..
monty will i hope go to school one day
sapna will transfer to our special section and maybe learn to be a beautician..
and years will pass
but will i be around!