it is not enough to invite them to the party; you must ask them to dance

it is not enough to invite them to the party; you must ask them to dance

It took a long time for schools in India to be inclusive but today there are by law. Today schools in Delhi are legally mandated to be inclusive, following the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (RPwD) Act, 2016, and the National Education Policy (NEP) 2020. All government and private schools must admit children with disabilities, provide reasonable accommodations (e.g., special teachers), and ensure a barrier-free environment.

Sadly some disabilities like ADHD or ODD are not included in RPwD Act  yet. I hope they will one day.

A little girl was admitted into a private school in Nursery. She was diagnosed with the above mentioned issues. She is bright, witty, intelligent and full of beans but can also be defiant and difficult. But that is par to the course. Her first year in school went well though a little turbulent. But the next one was nothing short of a nightmare. Being very dark as she is from the South she was racially profiled as being ‘black”! This hurt her immensely. A core symptom of her issue is acting impulsively and thus picking up things that do not belong to her. This little girl did so and the only way the teacher found to deal with it was put her bag outside the class thus profiling her again and leaving her bewildered.

Adopted children often spend their early life in indifferent orphanages deprived of love or any human contact. They  go into survival mode that often translates in such issues. The child cried for help in her own way: scribbling on her school books and other methods a little brain could conjure till one day she garnered her courage and voiced her pain: Please change my school!

Her mother did try to approach the school but in spite of all. efforts nothing changed and it was decided to change her school

When she was given her Transfer Certificate she was shocked to read that the reason given for the withdrawal was HEALTH ISSUES. This last profiling would become part of her educational journey and could hamper admission into another school or be a slur she would carry for life.

It is easy for law makers to make changes that rock the boat as they are not the ones to implement them. Including differently abled children does not just mean making a few alterations and accommodations. It is sensitising the staff, it is understanding that the  slightest misstep can result in lifelong trauma and a feeling of rejection. Handling children with physical disabilities is easier but those with mental issues whose brains are not wired like ours requires extreme sensitivity and deep compassion.

Yes Education is a Right of all children born in this land, and inclusivity is the way to go but this should be done with great responsibility. I am sharing this personal story in the hope that someone who can make changes will read it.

It is not a complaint against a school. It is a gentle warning that in our rush to make changes that look good on paper we forget we are dealing with tiny lives.

Children with mental issues may have IQs higher than others but are  wired differently. You need to enter their world.

This illustration says it all

Remember  it is not enough to invite them to the party; you must ask them to dance

 

Wedding bells at Project Why

Wedding bells at Project Why

A few days back Xavier informed us about the visit of Serge an old friend of Project Why with his new bride Saranya. We decided to do something special for them. It was to be a surprise.

Serge carries India in his heart and his bride has never visited India. It was decided to welcome them at every centre with traditional Indian marriage customs. There was the exchange of garlands, the bride entering the ‘house’. after kicking a pot of rice, games newly weds play when the pride first comes, traditional wedding songs, wearing of toe rings and more.

Each centre did a fabulous job and the newly weds enjoyed every moment;

You can share of the moments too!

We wish them a happy married life.

when joy becomes simple life becomes extraordinary

when joy becomes simple life becomes extraordinary

I came across this beautiful article recently. What caught my eye was the title:”When joy becomes simple, life becomes extraordinary“. I read it and was drawn to every word as it resonated with everything I have gone through. If you have time, read it.

It took me a long time trying to find an image to illustrate this post. I waded through the hundreds of pictures I had and fell on this one. This is my darling Popples bathing in a five star swimming pool for the first time. A simple joy indeed but at that moment life for the tiny soul was nothing short of extraordinary.

It was time to take a walk down memory lane. True I am a daughter, wife, mother, grandmother and my life has had its share of ups and downs but did it ever feel extraordinary. The answer is NO!

What has made it extraordinary is the last 25 years of Project replete with simple joys: the trusting smile of a child, the sticky sweet put into my mouth by a child who has just passed her exams, the pride of children who have come to share their exceptional result, the loud GOOD MORNING MA’AM of the little creche kids as I pass by their class, Manu feeding me with his grubby hands, Utpal taking his first step, my special needs kids dancing with abandon, the child who has had a heart surgery walking back to class,  and I can go on and on. And all these are the simple joys that have made my life extraordinary.

On a more personal note I also understood why I became a recluse in my golden years. The author ends with these words The deepest journey of life is always inward, towards the unmasked self, waiting quietly within. Now I understand that your one and only lifetime long best friend is YOU. I did not become a recluse; I just found my best friend.

 

 

 

A rockpile and a cathedral

A rockpile and a cathedral

In his famous 2007 “Last Lecture,” Randy Pausch highlighted that the platform to achieve childhood dreams is not just a physical place, but  a mindset focused on enabling others, perseverance and passion.

I have often said and once  had even suggested the byline “where children dare to dream” for Project why, but the consensus went to “because it makes a little difference”. But somehow deep in my heart Project Why was always about fulfilling dreams, big dreams!

One of my favourite author is Antoine de St Exupery and one of his quotes that comes to mind is: A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral from  his book Flight to Arras. Project Why was my rock pile when I first conceived it in my mind and my cathedral was the dreams of children I could fulfil. It was the platform that Randy Pausch described in his Last Lecture.

The early years were easy; the dreams feasible, the world still comprehensible. But today everything needs to be redefined. I am at a complete loss when I try to imagine tomorrow. It is said that AI will surpass all of us, that the jobs we know and aspire to will vanish. Nostradamus even predicts the arrival of aliens in 2026.

Then how can anyone dream. There is no anchor to hold no crystal ball to gaze into. All the dreams parents had for their children are blown to smithereens. Everything has to be reimagined. And in the midst of these troubled times there are children, zillions of them who do not have the luxury of time. They need guidance now. They need to be told what to dream about. They cannot wait for things to enfold.They need to be told now what awaits them in the future. And for those who still do not believe that many jobs will disappear, I am a living example. I was once a proficient and successful language interpreter and translator was paid, over 4 decades ago 1000 Rupees a day! Today ChatGPT, Claude or many of the AI assistants that exist today can do my work in seconds.

It is believed that entrepreneurship will remain and thrive. I was taken aback when I discovered the alpha school, a school where kids crush academics in 2 hours, build life skills through workshops, and thrive beyond the classroom. Alpha School, an AI-driven school with a high school location in Austin, Texas, offers a full tuition refund (approximately 40000$) if a student does not earn 1 million$ by the time they graduate. It is worth a read but a pipe dream for us.

In our quest for the best way to arm our children with the tools needed to succeed in this new world, we realised that good knowledge of English and computer skills were essential and we have begun in earnest teaching these from Class !, India has one huge advantage over other nations and it is its young population. It is said that by 2030, in 4 short years, India will have 750 million or half its population under 30 and will thus drive global labour supply as populations are rapidly ageing in the so called developed world. So language, English and others will be huge asset. That is sine qua non. To give you an example of today a plumber with good knowledge of English can get a job in Australia for 8500 US $ per month (800000 rs).

Bu there is a challenge that all will face. Parents across the board would never wish their child to be a plumber, carpenter, electrician and so on. And this definitely is not what a child will dream. There are other jobs that will survive the AI assault: nurses, caretakers, therapists, early education teachers, social workers, counsellors, creative artists,  construction supervisors etc. Jobs that will require empathy, human connection, physical dexterity, accountability and so on.

So where is my cathedral: the dreams I want my children to dare to dream? And what is my role today. To allow and help them fulfil their dreams even those that I know are doors to nowhere or to gently guide them away from their dream and help them conjure a new one.

I am lost so help me God.

 

 

 

Memento Mori

Memento Mori

Memento mori (“remember you must die”) , originated as an ancient roman tradition where a servant would whisper this phrase to a victorious general during their triumph parade to prevent hubris. It serves as a reminder of mortality’s inevitability to encourage a purposeful, humble life. 
No one whispered these words in my ear but I think God must have the day he send me to this earth. as I can say with absolute conviction that I have lived a humble and purposeful life.
Almost three decades ago I began my Project Why journey. Many tried to dissuade me and make me change my mind saying that India was too huge a country ridden with problems and it would make no difference. I simply said: If I can make a difference in ONE life it will be worth it.
God whispered Memento mori again in May 2020 when I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. A simple Google search for MM says Multiple myeloma is a rare, generally incurable blood cancer. The operative word is: incurable! The mori became a stark reality. It has been six years and I am still around taking no conventional treatment. I presume God has his plans.
Whatever then plans maybe, death was knocking at the door; the key was with  the one upstairs. But for me there was only one question: what would happen to Project Why.
Those who know me well will tell you that I have become in my golden years a very private person almost a recluse. There was time when I was a party girl and loved going out, I guess this was also because I was the only child of diplomat parents and had wine and dined all over the planet. My profession as a conference organiser made me shake hands and meet heads of states.
The death of my parents plunged me into deep depression and it took years for the clouds to lift and the reason they lifted was because I set up Project Why!
That too was God’s plan as no matter what challenges came our way, He always conjured a miracle. But the person that emerged from those dark clouds did in no way resemble the person I had been. My 24/7 was dedicated to the children sent my way. No world existed for me beyond my precious project. The recluse was born.
I never felt the need to blow my own bugle or to share the achievements and success stories though they were abundant. What mattered was to soldier on.
On November 1st 2025 we celebrated our silver jubilee. I would have liked it to be a quiet affair with the staff and children but a dear friend who is on my Board insisted we celebrate in a big way.
It is only then, after a quarter of a century that I and many others realised the full extent of my achievements. I had never felt the need to tom tom about myself. I always said that I planted a seed and my team had nurtured it.
True I feel immense pride when I see my children achieve and achieve big just like the two children in the picture  I carried in my arms. Today they are successful young adults who I know will make a change in the world. And there are many like them!
Of late some kind people have taken it upon themselves to craft a future beyond me. I have again accepted it as God’s gift with utmost humility. I do not know what God’s plans are. I only hear the words Memento Mori and know that I need to stay clear of hubris! I will simply carry on as long as God gives me the strength.
The tiny tinge of hubris I allow myself is that if Project Why has to shut it doors, I want it to be when it is in its full glory. I do not want it to die a painful and slow death.
So my petition to the Lord today is to give a sign of what awaits me so that I can plan the biggest celebration imaginable to celebrate three decades of a life of compassion and purpose if need be.
I never created Project Why to glorify myself, or to be known by one and all. I created it because a small three year old watching a bear dance did not see the bear but the man in tattered clothes freezing in the cold. The coat she insisted was given to him was the beginning of my journey.
I do not care whether any one remembers my name or face when I move on. I know I live in the hearts of every child I helped.
Memento Mori!  That is the only and indubitable reality.
The rest is in God’s hand.
We need to adapt

We need to adapt

I came across a short clip about what the future will look like as AI moves in at a speed we cannot imagine. It covers many industries where jobs as we know now will disappear. To survive you will need to adapt and work with AI

This is what it says about education: AI tutors that adapt to each student personalised learning at scale, traditional classroom models that become obsolete . Teachers who survive will be facilitators and mentors not lecturers. The one who cannot adapt replaced by algorithms that teach better, faster and cheaper. This is not a prediction. It is happening. The question is whether we will be ready when they do.

And happen it will sooner  than you think. A recent article proves just that. The journalist decided to feed class X  both. basic and advanced maths question paper, having 15 pages each to ChatGPT. The AI assistant solved both in less than a minute. And that is not all and I quote “What stood out was not just the speed, but the structure of the answers. ChatGPT solved every section in detail, writing step-by-step solutions with proper headings, clear working, and neatly presented final answers, closely resembling how a student would attempt the paper in an exam. 

So what awaits us? Sridhar Vembu, the creator of Zoho says that Ai automation may not kill jobs but bankrupt the middle class if the government does not act fast and deepen economic quality. He says: If robots take your job, don’t panic – just be ready to cook, care, sing or farm! Human only professions will rise. The remaining things humans do may get paid well — as an example, taking care of children, home cooked meals, nursing sick people, priests that minister to people, people who take care of soil health, water health, crop health and cattle health (we used to call them farmers), forest restoration specialists, local live performing musicians and so on may get paid much more,” he writes. For Vembu, the future isn’t about machines replacing humans — it’s about whether governments can adapt fast enough to ensure no one is left behind.

I am no tech person or economist but I see the writing on the wall. I also am aware that I have the future of over 1000 children in my hands. So in spite of resistance from my staff who are weary to change and adopt new ways I know that it is imperative to introduce gentle change today.

So what are the jobs that AI. will. not replace:

Jobs safest from AI are those requiring high empathy, complex human connection, physical adaptability in unpredictable environments, or strategic leadership.

Healthcare & Empathy Roles: Nurses, therapists, counselors, and home health aides are secure because they require emotional intelligence, trust, and physical, bedside care that AI cannot replicate.
Skilled Trades: Plumbers, electricians, and technicians are safe because their work is highly physical, requires adaptation to unpredictable environments, and often involves complex, non-repetitive problem-solving.
Strategic & Creative Leadership: Managers, leaders, and strategic planners are needed to navigate complex human situations, build trust, handle ethical dilemmas, and motivate teams.
Specialized Human Services: Social workers and lawyers (especially in courtroom settings) are secure because their roles require navigating complex, non-black-and-white situations and legal liability, respectively.
High-Touch Services: Personal trainers, hairdressers, and specialized repair technicians  remain safe due to the need for personal connection and physical skill.
Why These Jobs are Safe:
AI excels at pattern recognition and data processing but struggles with unstructured, real-world physical environments and genuine emotional connection. Jobs that combine high physical skill with empathy are the most resilient against automation.
But there is a dilemma we need to face. Parents across the board still dream of their children being doctors, engineers, chartered accountants, software engineers, in short al the jobs that have been top of the range till now. I know  that by the time our children, particularly those in the primary section enter the job market, it would be totally transformed and that the time to steer them in the right direction is NOW!
But how do you tell a parent with huge dreams for their progeny that it will be better for their children do be a plumber or a hairdresser, more so  in a country where dignity of labour is not prevalent. That is a huge challenge but unless we find a solution and ADAPT we will fail in our mission.
Now the reality. India is a young country and we will have 12 million young people entering the job market annually. You can  do the math. While AI poses risks of displacing routine, low-level service and manufacturing jobs, it will create new, high-demand opportunities in specialized tech sectors. Key growth sectors will include green energy, healthcare, and space technology.
Some sectors require specialised training and skills. But sector like health care will see a massive demand for professionals due to an aging population, with growth in assisted living, nursing, and specialized care.
To remain competitive, the workforce will need to move beyond basic technical knowledge to focus on:
  • Adaptability and problem-solving.
  • Advanced technical expertise (AI, robotics, data science).
  • Human-centric skills that cannot be easily automated.

Some may think it is speculation and. I agree none of us is a crystal ball gazer, but unless we see the writing on the wall what we are teaching our children today will be quite useless.

At Project Why we have always strived  to remain ahead of times. Our challenge is to be judicious and work out a solution that will benefit all.

The first step is to explain this reality to our team and work out the best plan together.

So help us God.

 

Wings to grow and soar into the future

Wings to grow and soar into the future

Angels do not have wings. They look just like you and me.

This post is a little personal. I beg your indulgence.

Over the past 25 years of my Project Why journey I have faced many challenges, witnessed many miracles and realised that there are many good people in this world. Over these years we created a wonderful network of people from all over the world who became part of the Project Why family. I was blessed with an amazing team that stood by me and believed in my dreams.I also realised that there there was someone watching from the heavens above who I fondly called the God of Lesser Beings. He conjured miracles every time we were in need or distress. However for over two decades we lived from hand to. mouth. Today I understand that it was His way of testing me !

I knew we had a sound model the proof being the umpteen success stories that came our way and filled our hearts with immense pride but our funding model was fragile and depended on me. I was no spring chicken and every year that went by brought its share of grey hairs and worry lines. On this journey I was alone and rapidly ageing. My dream was to see project why live beyond me and though I held on to it tight I was unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

There were many sleepless nights and in the dead of those nights I knew that were I not able to ensure sustained and long term funding I would rather close Project Why when it was still thriving than have it die a slow and painful death after my demise.

The darkest hour precedes dawn and mine came in 2020 not only because of the pandemic that hit the world and turned it  on its head but also because I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. The end that was till then hypothetical became a stark reality but I knew I would soldier on till my last breath.

That is when the God of Lesser Beings decided that I had passed his test and decided to intervene. A series of events would shape the future. A desperate plea at a Board meeting; an email, a visit and the rest is history.

In today’s world heroes do not wear capes, and Angels do not have wings. They look just like you and me but with one difference : they are answers to your prayers and messengers of God!

Mine were Adish and Asha Jain and their beautiful family. The very first time Adish And Asha Jain visited our Okhla centre in March 2022 they decided to. adopt us not for a year or two as most funders do but for as long as we would exist. When God sends its Angels it is with a divine plan. They did not just sign a cheque with multiple zeroes. That is easy. They took it upon them to transform what I call my mom and pop shop and make it XXIst century savvy as only then would we be able to accede to long term funding. They asked one simple question; was I willing to accept change even though it may be painful as it would entail stepping out of our comfort zone. My answer was a loud an unequivocal YES!

The journey of transformation began and yes it was not easy. But change we did one step at a time from becoming a sound administrative structure, to changing our teaching approach and incorporating the skills needed to succeed in the XXIst century: English. computer skills, digital learning and so on. We did all as best we could.

March 5th 2026 will remain the most important day of my journey as Adish and Asha Jain brought their entire family to visit our Project. Before I go further I would like to say that in my 74 years of existence I have never met such a beautiful family. We were honoured to have Samir, Shailavi and their beautiful children Kavya and Milan, and Sapna and Bhupesh. Each one a testimony that good and kind people do exist in this sometimes incomprehensible world. I somehow felt that I had always known them: they were family.

My deepest gratitude to each one of them and to the Lord who heard my desperate plea. You will always be in my heart.

I have often been asked to define the essence and spirit of Project Why and I always quote a line from St Exupery’s Little Prince:”It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”. The Jain family sees with their heart.

You may ask how have they impacted Project Why. The answer is simple: they gave a nearly dying organisation wings to grow and soar into the future.

 

 

 

Gentle, kind and always smiling!

Gentle, kind and always smiling!

In my almost three decades journey with Project Why there have been many moments that have made me proud be it a child who has passed an exam or a heart surgery that was successful and everything in between. But today my heart is swelling with pride, my throat is choking and my eyes are moist because Aman one of our alumni made a donation of ten thousand rupees to Project Why!

Aman’s story is nothing short of a miracle. He was a student of our Khader centre and we soon discovered that he was very good at Art and had a dream: that of becoming an Artist. Initially the family was not supportive and pushed him to join the commerce stream but his heart was not in it. We managed to convince his family to allow to pursue Art and helped him enrol in the Delhi school of Art. A kind soul supported and mentored him and he passed his BA. He then wanted to join a masters programme and Lady Luck smiled again and he got a seat in the Delhi school of Art!

He struggled for a while and finally got a job as an Art Director in a budding company and decided to donate ten thousand rupees to Project Why!

Over the years while studying and after he spent Saturdays at the Project teaching Art to the children and took on the task of mentoring the students who were in need.

The reason why I feel so proud today is that when I created Project Why I wanted to give wings to the dreams of my children and give them the opportunity to dream big. Aman did that! But there was another desire, one that I barely expressed. It was to see our alumni come back and remain part of Project Why. Aman did more than that he became a donor. Even I hadn’t dared dream of that.

Aman is a wonderful child – yes to me he will always remain a child, my child – gentle kind and always smiling. I wish that every single dream he has comes true and as some of you know I believe in miracles and know that it will happen. He is a blessed child.

You can meet him if your click here

May God always bless him!

The haunting flute

The haunting flute

Twice everyday a haunting melody is heard from the street below.. It is the flute and toy vendor who peddles his ware in our rather upmarket colony. Street vendors still  ply across the city  though much less than some decades ago. The flute vendor in our street has a cycle where his flutes and toys are displayed as you can see in the picture above. There are so many things that he cannot ride his cycle but has to push it the whole day.

The tune he plays is soul stirring. I often wonder how many flutes he sells in a day and actually who buys flutes in this day and age.

Before I started Project Why and crossed the invisible line that exists between us and them, street vendors were anonymous and invisible, their lives a far cry from mine. It is only when I began my work in the slums and came across daily wage workers be they selling vegetables or flutes, that I came to know about their lives and  their struggle. I remember, in the very early days of Project Why, wondering why the woman next door sat woefully every evening staring at the road. When I enquired about this, I was told that her husband was a vegetable vendor and she waited for him to come back and give her money to purchase what was needed for the family’s dinner. Depending on what he gave, the family would eat a good meal or a frugal one.

Whenever I hear my flute vendor’s tune, I wonder whether his family would eat or not. How many flutes or poor quality plastic toys do you sell in. a colony like ours where people would go to Hamley’s to purchase toys, It’s a matter of prestige. And with the total disappearance of servant quarters where families could be lodged together and there maybe some child needing a cheap toy. But today the erstwhile servant quarters have been spruced up transformed into rentable spaces. All about money, honey! When I rebuilt my house I insisted to the horror of my contractor that I wanted servants quarters to be a space where I could live too. Sadly in today’s day and age servant quarters in all upcoming builders flats are either so tiny that they barely fit a bed for one, or some flimsy structure in the parking lot replete with toxic fumes and scant privacy.

One forgets that those who work for us within our homes or sell vegetables at your doorstep are persons just like us with dreams and hope for a better life for their children. As I am now aware of their struggle, these vendors who for  long time remained invisible have become part of my life and yes I buy the occasional flute or toy.

I still am the little 3 year old whose granny organised a bear dance for her but who only saw the man in a threadbare coat asking for something warm. Even then I did not give up and wailed till the man was founded given a coat.

People write off such souls not realising that they make our life easier each and everyday.

So next time, if you hear a  haunting tune on a flute, stop and acknowledge that the person exists.

Out of the Box

Out of the Box

India recently hosted  the India AI Impact Summit! Anchored in the principles of People, Planet, and Progress, it envisions a future where AI advances humanity, fosters inclusive growth, and safeguards our shared planet. AI is here to stay! Some go as far as saying that it will take over the world by 2050. But we are not there yet. However we have to accept the indubitable fact that AI has transformed the job scenario. And to succeed children will have to be taught a whole new set of skills that are a far cry from what we are teaching them today.

Before I go further, I will just like share my own experience with AI. A  few weeks back I did not know much about AI. I decided to take a short online course. After the course I tiptoed into this new world and lo and behold was left gobsmacked at the amazing power of this tool. Each day was a new discovery as I ventured into ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini and more.  Jobs like mine – translator/interpreter – have already vanished. Write a text and any of the AI assistants will translate it in seconds to another language. You can have a conversation with these assistants and they can be quite witty! You want to write a report, a proposal anything and AI will do it for you. It performs, analyses, and generates complex content. The catch is to use the correct prompts. That is what needs to be mastered. I can see how you can get drawn into this world.

In an article entitled Ten 21st-century skills every student needs, the World Economic Forum states: The gap between the skills people learn and the skills people need is becoming more obvious, as traditional learning falls short of equipping students with the knowledge they need to thrive. Today’s job candidates must be able to collaborate, communicate and solve problems – skills developed mainly through social and emotional learning (SEL). Combined with traditional skills, this social and emotional proficiency will equip students to succeed in the evolving digital economy.

So the new skills needed are : Learning and innovation skills: critical thinking and problem solving, communications and collaboration, creativity and innovation. Digital literacy skills: information literacy, media literacy, Information and communication technologies (ICT) literacy Career and life skills: flexibility and adaptability, initiative and self-direction, social and cross-cultural interaction, productivity and accountability.

At present children are stuck in the traditional curriculum created by the British with the aim of making obedient pen pushers. The new skills are the exact opposite as they want people to think out of the box. As I have often said, children do not have the time to wait for policies to be changed. By the time new policies are put in place a whole set of children would be out of school and propelled into the work world armed with useless skills.

We at Project Why cannot let this happen. It is time to act.

Now you cannot navigate the AI universe without two basic skills: computer knowledge and a command of English. So the first step we have taken is to have computer and English  classes from class one itself! The children are loving it. A little girl shared very proudly that she now knew how to start and shut a computer. Her eyes lit up when she told me that. Give a few years and she will master both.

The bigger  challenge was to work out  way of incorporating these new set of skills into the present curriculum. How do you weave skills like critical thinking or creativity into the subjects being taught. My incredible team has worked out a way to do so from class I itself.  We are at present training and getting the teaches onboard as they are the main stakeholders. Then we run a pilot and come April 1, we go all guns blazing.

We intend to handhold the little ones till class V but then we want to steer the children towards self learning and independent studies so that by class IX children can study independently. We also want to accustom the children to digital learning and make them comfortable with this approach. Thanks to the Adish and Asha Jain Foundation we have a state-of-the-art recording studio where we have already recorded lessons for classes IX and X and plan to do it for all classes. We want our children to be comfortable with taking online classes as that would enable them to increase their skill sets.

This may sound ambitious but needs to be done if we want our children to be ready for the ever-changing work scenario. There will be resistance I know from both teachers and kids as I am pulling them out of their comfort zone and throwing in the deep end of the pool. But them at Project Why we have never shied away from a challenge.

We are at crossroads but I know that we will overcome. Wish us luck!

All heroes do not wear capes

All heroes do not wear capes

The picture above is of Akash Saroj. He is not a Project Why student. He is a delivery agent in Delhi or what is known as a gig worker but he is the kind of person I would like ALL my Project children to know about. He proves in no uncertain terms that compassion does not require one to be rich. I urge you to read his story.

Akash works hard like all delivery agents to care for his family but still finds the time and the resources to help others. He can be seen feeding a rickshaw puller and help repair his vehicle or giving blankets to those sleeping in the cold. He even sets aside some of his earnings to feed animals. He always remains alert to people who may be in need.

He learnt compassion from his father, a poor labourer who he lost tragically some time back. He says ” My father’s death taught me a lesson for life. I realized that I realized that kindness is what is so much missing from this world. I learnt the meaning of charity from him. Despite being poor, he helped others in whatever way he could.”

Compassion is what I would like my kids to learn. Sadly in today’s world it is neither taught in families, nor in schools. Moral studies was removed from the curriculum a long time back sacrificed at the alter of scientific, democratic, and secular education. Moreover with the advent of nuclear families, gone are the days when we heard stories at grandma’s knee. Teachers are no more role models. The entertainment industry has also moved on from moral content and today’s children are not readers but passive consumers of what the screen throws at them.

It is heartwarming to learn that the NEP (New Education Policy) 2020  plans on incorporating ethics, values, and character building directly into the curriculum but that will take time and as I  have always held time is something that children do not have. Hence the importance of sharing such stories with children in the hope of building a new set of unsung heroes.

The moral of this story is that compassion does not require you to be rich, kindness does not require wealth.

I just. would like to share a quote of Jack London: A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog. Think about it.

 

 

 

Five things Project Why has taught me

Five things Project Why has taught me

When I decided to set up a not-for-profit in the memory of my parents and to pay a debt I felt I owed my country as I had lived an extremely privileged life, I had already worn several hats and interacted with people from diverse origins and status. Having been a professor, an interpreter, a social secretary amongst other things I had rubbed shoulders with a wide variety of souls and thought I was well versed in human nature! I could not have imagined how wrong I was and how taking one tiny step across an invisible line would change things forever.

Today, with over two decades of Project Why under my skin, I feel I am competent to look back at the lessons that came my way after my fifth decade, a time when one believes one has seen and learnt all. I wonder what is it that makes you change the way you look at things and once again I find myself thinking of St Exupery and his Little Prince. Maybe my life too has been a voyage across planets each more bewildering than the other, and Project Why was the one where the maxim of the Fox was truly validated. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. The moment I decided to seed Project Why, I could only see with my heart!

A dear friend suggested I write about the 5 things that Project Why taught me about people. This is something I had never thought of so it is a journey of self discovery I share with you.

The first ‘people’ that comes to mind when I think about Project Why is undoubtedly Manu. I have said it many things but repeat it again: if not for Manu there may have not been Project Why. The lesson he taught me was to never say die, but more than, that that no life, no matter how wretched it may seem, is without purpose. Every life has a meaning and needs to be respected and celebrated. Manu’s was to see I set up Project Why. To most Manu would simply be an annoying mentally and physically challenged beggar, but to me he was my inspiration, my mirror and the one who showed me the way. He taught me to respect every human being that came my way.

The next thing that Project Why taught me about people was that if you ever reached out to help someone in need, there was no going back. It was a one way street. No one taught me this lesson more than my darling Utpal. When I reached out to save him from his third degree burns and allowed him to walk into my heart, I never knew it was a till death do us part deal. I had thought that I could heal his wounds and help his family look after him, maybe pay his school fees and be present when needed. That was not to be. Utpal became my foster child and today he is part of my life forever. This is also a lesson I follow for Project Why. No matter how difficult things look and are, there is no going back. My inner most desire is to see Project Why live beyond me.

Th next thing Project Why taught me about people is that if you truly trust and believe in someone, they live up to your trust more that 100%! This was proved to me in ample measure by the wonderful team I picked up from the community. Everyone warned me that it would be an impossible task but I instinctively knew that I was making the right decision. And though none of them had the degrees and diplomas, the profile and experience each one has done me proud and never made me regret my decision. I simply had to make them believe that I trusted them and the rest was history.

The next thing Project Why taught me about people is that there is more good than bad in this world, that values like compassion and generosity exist in ample measure in most people and simply need to be ferreted out. The way to do it is to be brutally honest and candid. One of the most beautiful things Project Why created is a wonderful network of souls from the world over and of all ages who have reached out to help and support Project Why. All I had to do was to tell my story from the heart and me the only child, the orphan got the most incredibly beautiful and supportive family and was smothered in so much love that it will take me many lives to pay back. I feel so blessed.

And last but maybe not the least Project Why taught me things I never knew existed about another ‘people’ and that is me. The reclusive almost hermit like person I had become after losing my parents, the person who ran away from numbers and could not even balance her home budget, the person who could never ask for the money that was owed to her become almost extrovert and even gregarious and began asking for help unabashedly for the children she had decided to make hers. I found within me qualities I never knew I possessed. Project Why became a true discovery of myself!

Don’t lose faith in India

Don’t lose faith in India

Last week India celebrated its 77th Republic Day. The Gods had been kind as the day was sunny, the sky blue and the wind chilly. I have always made it a point to watch the parade on TV though there was time when I braved all odds and went to see the parade in situ. And each and every time, with obsessive regularity I am moved beyond words. my eyes often moist, my throat constricted. It was the same yesterday. I guess my patriotism and love for India is deep seated and part of my DNA thanks to my amazing parents.

‘Don’t lose faith in India’ were the dying words of my father when he breathed his last thirty five years ago. He was 80+. He was the descendant of an indentured labourer who had left his home land in the late XIX century. The reasons for his departure are as picturesque as your imagination would let you believe.We were told he was part of the 1857 war of freedom. Whatever they be, they compelled a man to leave everything and accept being enslaved and bear a number. His was 354495. He managed to secure his freedom and build life once again with determination and success. I am proof of that. Forgive this aside but it needed to be said.

Had I remained ensconced in my comfortable, ordinary and insipid life, it perhaps would have been easier to hold on to that faith, but I chose to walk the untrodden path that questioned that faith far too many times and needed me to hold on to it drawing on shreds of logic and passion. But hold on I did as I could not forget the sacrifices my parents made for the country they loved unquestionably. My mom was even willing to sacrifice motherhood to the alter of freedom. She chose to give me life in a free India thus making its freedom sine qua non to my very essence.

I grew up on foreign shores but the love for India was lovingly woven into the fabric of my heart and soul by my two love stricken parents. The image of India that is seared in my heart is one of a land of tolerance, understanding and humanity. My parents never failed to teach me to respect the culture and values of the countries I grew up in and to me Indianness meant all embracing faith. I was proud of my heritage.

For the past years I have slowly had my faith put to the test. I held on to it. When the going was too tough I shut my eyes and remembered my parents or looked deep into the eyes of a very deprived kid and knew I had to carry on just for that child.

We humans are strange bods! We have the capability of getting inured to things and even stop seeing them. I guess that happened to me too as I saw a beggar child, read about a rape or a killing and turned to my fragile coping strategies.

Today children still die every day of malnutrition related disease. I have been going through my blogs which pan over two decades. I have written on this issue many times over the years and was shocked to see that the statistic remained the same: 5000 children every day. As I had not blogged for a few years courtesy my health, I decided to check on the figures again today and to my utmost dismay found out that the figure varied from 2000 to 5000 death a day. Though there is some improvement, 2000 death is still too much. Is  77 years not enough to stop malnutrition? How des one keep the faith.

The other issue that appears as a let motif in my blogs is rape and child abuse. It is relentless @92 rapes a day notwithstanding child abuse. And these are government statistics. The latest rape of a 11 year old happened in Delhi last week. Things have not changed and you wonder why? Is it lack of political will? Is it our social fabric? Is it gender inequality? Maybe all of the above. It is not the death penalty we often clamour for that will change things. What will change matters is social change when every family accepts that boys and girls are equal and should be treated so. But that is long haul in a country where patriarchy still loams large.

The other startling fact is the ever growing gap between rich and poor. Here again one wonders why and above all what can one do?

So where to you go to keep the wavering flame of your faith alive? The usual coping strategies seem to be floundering. New ones need to be sought if you do not want to live your life in fear. One option is to be fatalist and we Indians are privileged as we have karma to explain what cannot be. But what is the karma of a two year old that is brutally gang raped? Another option is to hope that someone among those who steer the country will intervene and say: ENOUGH but sadly that too seems to be a chimera.

After seven decades of Independence there are still 5000 children who die every day for want of clean water and adequate food, child labour and abuse flourishes, women are still second class citizens and millions are deprived of basic dignity.

But what I would want to say to those who hold us to ransom today is that you cannot kill the spirit of India. What your aberrations are doing is waking up the deadened consciences of far too many who cannot keep mute anymore. There is an anger slowly brewing, an anger that is breaking the seemingly impregnable walls of comfort and finding its voice.
India is a blessed land. Let us not for get that, and yes Papa, I for one will not lose faith in India till my last breath.

Next time, don’t look away

Next time, don’t look away

When I decided to cross the proverbial Rubicon, to leave the armchair I had sunk in post losing my parents in an almost catatonic state, I did not know where the journey would take me. I just knew I had to step out and so I did. I also knew that it was time to redeem a pledge made on a hot summer day in a village in Bihar to pay back for all that I had been given. Having discovered my ‘roots’ I realised that it was an accident of history that propelled me into this side of the divide.  I should have been on the other. Anyway what matters was that the time had come to walk the talk.

I had no road map then. I had to create one. I had always been disturbed by the plight of children begging at red lights. To me every child had a right to education and a better life but for these kids there seemed to be no hope. Begging was a ‘profession’ a ‘business’ and as long as there were people who would give money, it simply thrived. It was all demand and supply so if one cut the demand… So I thought.

So why not address this issue as part of my paying back journey. After much brainstorming with like minded souls, one came up with, what naive me believed, a programme whereby we would urge people to give nutrition instead of coins. And when the business of using children to beg would not be lucrative, maybe it would stop. How foolish was I! Today a quarter of century later. there are as many children begging at red lights as there were then. You got it right, our nutritive biscuits project died a quick death and we were left to lick our wounds.

For years I drove by the same crossing under the Nehru Place flyover. Many families live under this bridge. Their profession: begging. If you drive past early in the morning you will see women cooking on make shift stoves. The children are already knowing at car windows in the hope of an elusive coin.There use to be a little girl who was a baby in her mother’s arm when I first laid eyes on her. Then she grew up and must have been about 2 or 3 when one Sunday as I drove by I saw her being initiated in the art of begging.

As years went by she grew up and we made friends! She knew I never gave money and most of the time carried fruit or biscuits in my three wheeler. One day  she came running and asked me for chocorate the generic time all the beggar children who knew I did not give money used when they saw. My little girl with huge light eyes is now all grown up and I guess she will be married and soon produce children who will follow her footsteps.

Some years back we started a small outreach for the beggar children of Kalka Mandir. They are the ones in this picture. You would never say they are beggars.  They look just like any other children all smiles and giggles. Kalka Mandir as all temples is home to many beggars. There is a small shelter where women go when they are expecting and about to deliver. As many women come with their older kids, we decided to run our first lass there. For some time it was a dream come true and that is where I met my bucket baby. But then some people did not like what we were doing and threw us out. We tried in two there locations but we sadly had to close. I felt the look more than anyone else. This was not the first time happened to us. We had earlier tried to teach the children under the flyover close to mu house and the children were thrilled, but again we are shooed away by some men. I guess they did not want the children to get the ‘taste’ of anything other than panhandling. They knew that education had the power to rock the boat.

We rarely  look at a beggar in the eye. Maybe because we feel uncomfortable or guilty.  I do not know. However it is a beggar woman who taught me one of the greatest lesson or my life. I was in college and had gone to Connaught Place for some errand. A beggar woman started following me asking me for a few coins. That day my pocket was empty so I stopped, looked her in the eye and told her gently I do not have anything today. I am sorry. She took both my hands in hers and said to me “you have given me more than you can imagine” I was perplexed not quite understanding till she added ” you looked me in the eye; you acknowledged me as a human being”. I can never forget those words and since that day have always looked at beggars in their eyes.

Beggars are human beings first and foremost. Many beggar parents in Kalka Mandir did send their children to school.Should you visit in the morning you will see many children in clean uniforms, their tresses coiffed beautifully ready to go to school. The children. are eager to go to school and learn and parents do their best. I remember a beggar woman sitting on a step with her two school going children and holding a copy book and a pencil. She was helping her kids with their homework. I asked her if she had been to school and she proudly answered, ”I have studied till class III!”. One wonders what brought her to where she is now.

Beggar parents do care for their children. How can I gorget my beggar friend Rani whose compassion touched me. She had a niece who was orphaned and rather than send her back to the village decided to keep her to ensure she get and education! And what was even more touching was the fact that many of the beggars who were sitting around seconded her decision and offered whatever help they could proffer. But what moved me was how the very people we reject and sneer at, the ones that live on our so called ‘charity’  had a heart far larger than those who live behind gates or in impregnable mansions.

The children you see in the picture are children just like ours. They deserve a childhood, an education and much more. When will we get outraged at the kids who knocks at our car window at a red light and wake up and do something. I do not know.

I only know that it is the plight of a young beggar that shook me out of my torpor and compelled me to act. if not for  Manu there may have not been Project Why. The lesson he taught me was to never say die, but more than, that that no life, no matter how wretched it may seem, is without purpose. Every life has a meaning and needs to be respected and celebrated. Manu’s was to see I set up Project Why. To most Manu would simply be an annoying mentally and physically challenged beggar, but to me he was my inspiration, my mirror and the one who showed me the way. He taught me to respect every human being that came my way. I live by his maxim.

So next time a beggar child knocks at your car window, don’t look away. You do not know what miracle is hidden in her eyes.

 

 

The length of a lifetime

The length of a lifetime

“Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime” wrote Herbert Ward.

Let me tell you a story.

A little girl, not more than 11, has been standing at a red light hoping to sell all the flowers her mother has entrusted her with.She knows the evening meal depends on it. She knocks at darkened windows of cars that stop not able to see who is inside.The rich like to remain invisible. Most of the windows remain shut, the light turns green and she moves away a tad disappointed. It has been a bad day. She has not sold many flowers. A e-rickshaw stops by and drops its passengers. The little girl approaches the driver in the hope of selling him a flew flowers. He tells her he will help het to sell ALL her flowers and makes her sit in his vehicle. The little girl desperate to sell her roses agrees. The man takes her to a nearby forest rapes her and believing her dead leaves her bleeding and unconscious and flees. The little girl regains consciousness and manages to reach her family. Her parents rush to the hospital and contact the police. The girl still shell shocked  cannot narrate anything coherently. She is now undergoing medical treatment and counselling. Rape leaves scars not only on the body but deep within the mind, spirit and the soul.

This is not an imaginary story. This incident happened in Delhi on January 21, 2026!

The police has managed to arrest the perpetrator who confessed that he has seen the little girl many times and had planned the abduction. He is 40 year old. She was 11!

We all know that the accused will at best  spend some time in jail and will be set free. The  little girl will carry this pain for the length of a life time.

When we started our work over two decades ago, there was a young girl who use to attend our classes but always sat away from the others and no one talked to her. I watched this for a while then decided to find out why this happened. The young girl in question had be raped when she was 3 by her neighbour. The man spent 5 years in jail and then was released to carry on his life as if nothing happened. The girl however was ostracised and branded as the ‘raped one’ as if she was responsible for the rape. This terrible unfair and abhorrent treatment was meted out to her for no fault of hers. That is why no one talked to her in class. I saw red and set out to rectify the situation by explaining things to her peers. Soon the issue was sorted and the girl sat with her friends.

This is the stark reality. Rape victims are often targeted. It seems to always be the fault of the woman: the way she was dressed, the fact that she was out at night. Recently a Chief Minister, who is also a woman held the same discourse.

I have recently been perusing the over 2000 blogs I have written over the past two decades. I realised with dismay that over 150 of them are about rape.

Way back in 2011  a young woman was raped in a bus in India’s capital city. There was a hue and cry. Civil society ‘woke’ up from its habitual torpor and some action was taken. But then we all retreated back and rapes continued mercilessly. From babies a few months old to women above 70, every one was rape material!

There are 92 rapes in India every day or a rape every 15 minutes, that is a whopping number of rapes between December 2011 and January 2026. ( 92 x 365 x 15 = 503700).

Does it take 503700 rapes to wake us up!

A little girl was raped last week. Quietly, without fuss. She was a flower girl and no one cares about flower girls at red lights. So there will be no lighting candles, holding placards, writing soul stirring poems, marching on the street, making noise, clamouring for death penalty and fast track courts. Just silence and a small snippet on page 5 of one newspaper.

When I expressed outrage on social media on the brutalisation, rape and murder of another child and asked the question we all want an answer to” WHEN WILL IT END?” a friend wrote back: never in India. I was shocked and angered but mulled the answer and realised that what he wrote was true.

It is not that ‘rape’ does not make news. It does time and again when the rape is brutal or when the victim is a child or even a baby. But still we do not take to the streets every time we hear of a rape. When the rape is laced with other overtones like politics or religion then it makes good copy for the TRP hungry media we hear about it relentlessly  for a few days. But what happens. Nothing. A few empty promises by the powers that be, some noise by the opposition in true electoral game mode and we naively believe them and go back to our comfort zones while somewhere in India someone is raped every 15 minutes. No one is held responsible, neither we the civil society nor politicians and rulers. Our outrage is short lived. Or memory even shorter.

We are actually barking up the wrong tree.

It is not severe punishment like hanging, or even stringent laws that will bring the change we seek. We have ample proof of that. The journey is within, within each one of us, within our social mores, our so called traditions, our skewed beliefs, our education system, our ‘values’ etc. That is hallowed ground everyone is scared to touch. Who will bell the cat.

Our politicians? No way! This is the best electoral game fodder and no political party would want to lose it. It could bring down a government. So they use it to the maximum and will continue to do so. It has all the ingredients for the most toxic brew: caste and creed, who would want to give that up.

Our so called religious leaders? No way again. First many indulge in such acts in the name of faith. But there are more pernicious reasons: they need to maintain status quo, or else their power may decrease. I often wonder why our religious Godmen who have congregations of millions of followers, TV channels and so on never talk of gender equality, child marriage etc? They could bring a sea change. But they need to play to the gallery too!

No one wants to rock the boat.

To end rapes one has to address uncomfortable issues. Rape is about power. A power instilled in a male child from the moment he is conceived. he is born superior, superior to his female siblings, the ones living or the ones killed in the womb. The first person responsible for making him aware of his power is his mother, a woman. That is how it begins, across social classes, across religion, across caste. Genders are not equal. The boy is brought up differently: better food, clothes, schools; more freedom; more of everything. His escapades are forgotten, his aberrations too. Boys will be boys! he is brought up in an environment where girls/women are considered inferior. He sees it everyday. That is what he learns. That is the only value system he is made aware of.

Look at our blessings: may you have thousand sons! Never a thousand daughters. It is time we treated our daughters and sons equally.

Then there is the matter of honour! Who decided to burden the tender shoulder of a girl with the weight of the family’s honour. It is too heavy a burden. It usurps her right to childhood. It hijacks her right to laugh and run and play like her brothers do. Why does she have to bear te burden of a veil, the need to cover her heard, hide her ankles, sit demurely. Why is the subjected to the deafening code of silence should she dare mention any sexual abuse. Why is she made to be the victim.Why!

And if she dares break the code then why is she always asked what she wore, where she was, what she drank, what time was it as if each of these can condone rape. No perp is ever asked that is he. Boys will be boys and men will be men.

And then let us look at education. Surreptitiously and zealously sex education, the only weapon a child can have to protect herself, was taken off the curriculum in the name of tradition, of samskaras. I ask is rape in our samskaras! In our DNA. It is time we reinstate age appropriate sex education in every school. Growing children have to understand how their bodies change, what is normal, what is age appropriate. It is time to bring sex out of the CLOSET.

This will not happen in a day or maybe not even in a generation, but the ball has to be set rolling. Or else we can continue to cry RAPE every 503700 rapes ad infinitum as nauseam.

 

The dot you do not  see

The dot you do not see

The dot you do not see on the picture, is our planet Earth viewed from the Martian sky. It is a beautiful reminder of who we truly are and takes care of any hubris we may be tempted to fall into. This is all 7 billion of us viewed from the heavens above. Makes one feel tiny doesn’t it?

Maybe it is not hubris we should aim for, but its opposite Sophrosyne which is the virtue of healthy-mindedness and from there self-control or moderation guided by knowledge and balance. Sophrosyne is a Greek Goddess considered to be one of the good spirit that escaped Pandora’s box. She is the spirit of moderation, self-control, temperance, restraint, and discretion. Whereas we humans have embraced Hubris with great haste, few of us even know of Sophrosyne.

If we accept that we are the dot you do not see, then we are forced to abandon Hubris and seek Sophrosyne and remember that we are an infinitesimal part of a Universe we have no control on. All we can aspire to is temperance and self control. But sadly that is not the case around us.
If you look around, you see only hubris.

What  do you call the politician who once in power forgets all promises and loses all self control and gets busy lining his nest?

What about the one who builds ginormous statues  of himself or the one who cuts a birthday cake in the shape of the Parliament House.

What about big brother who wants to gobble others  as we are seeing today

Is it not hubris?

What about all the laws and ordinances passed to ensure vote banks are seduced while important ones that may have benefitted many  lie gathering dust like the women’s reservation bill

Politicians the world over are devoured by hubris

But that is not all. It is not those in power only; everyone seems to have been seduced by hubris

The young and restless of today have forgotten patience and think Rome was built in a day

No one is satisfied with what they have, even those who have plenty. You always want MORE and hubris seems to blind us all.

Greed, ego and hamartia will ultimately bring us all down.

And everything has conjured to make this possible. When we started our lives Ranjan and I, we had a scooter, no TV and very little in the bank. Things came slowly and steadily as we worked towards getting them. It was the BC days – before credit – and you had to live within your means. Now you can get anything you want. You are even solicited to do so as is proved by the number of calls you get offering you loans and credit cards. Moderation, self-control, temperance, restraint, and discretion are all thrown out of the window.

Hubris breeds impatience. Hubris coaxes illusions of grandeur. And we all fall for it. I guess I did too when I thought I could build Planet Why and let myself be swayed by an impossible dream. And is it not hubris that makes me want to see Project Why live beyond me. Why can I not just accept the maxim: The King is dead, long live the king.

It is time to take a serious look at the dot you cannot see and temper one’s life. It is time we embraced Sophrosyne and accept what wen have been given with gratitude and grace.

The dot you cannot see reminds one of how infinitesimal we are and accept this reality with humility.

Maybe it is time to reintroduce Sophrosyne in our lexicon and with it moderation, self-control, temperance, restraint, and discretion

The anatomy of a blog

The anatomy of a blog

I start blogging in April 2005. That makes it 21 years and over 2000 blogs. It all started like this. It must have been circa 2003 when I realised that the proverbial ‘pockets’ I easily dug into whenever extra funds were needed were emptying at the speed of light or even faster. All the people one knew had been tapped and thus it was time to seek new pastures. At that time I was slowly discovering the magical word of the world wide web and it must have been around then that the first pwhy website went on line. Actually 2003 was quite a fateful year. It was the year when Utpal fell into the boiling cauldron and entered our lives; when two of our creche children died in strange circumstances and we discovered the apathy of the police who never wanted to register a case; when we were successful in raising funds for Raju’s open heart surgery. It was also the year when we were at the top of our page 3 days and the darling of many who organised stunning evenings and balls to help us raise funds. It was also a time when we were at the height of our fairy tale existence. It was also at the time when someone suggested I join a social network called Ryze. I must confess that I had a tough time building my page and it looked very puerile. But I managed to get quite a few contacts and thus began the pwhy network that is so precious to us today. We had a website that was not quite what I would have liked and I realised to my horror what the cost of maintaining would be. I had 2 options: not to have a site at all – not really an option -, or learn how to maintain it myself. I cannot remember how many nights it took to learn a new language – HTML – but I did. The other things I began doing was sending individual emails to all the people I knew. I had not yet discovered mass mailing or just BCC option. That is when a kind person – God bless him – suggested I start a blog. It would change my life forever.
It was a hesitant beginning but I had a forum where I could share the life of pwhy, the stories of our kids, the little things that happened everyday. I thought of it like a sea captain’s logbook that would preserve the chronicles of pwhy. True it started being just that but somehow mutated almost insidiously into a record of happenings in India viewed through a different prism: that of someone passionately in love with her country and often at a loss in comprehending the stark inequalities between rich and poor, the hidden agendas and corrupt games of the powers that be, the dignified and touching survival modes of the poor. The project why stories took on a larger meaning and I found myself writing about issues I felt important. The tone became harsher, the criticism more acerbic and the mood somber.
Simply making a difference in the lives of the hundreds and more children who came to project why was not enough. True it was important as it was tangible and thus valorising but I felt the need to add my voice to those of others fighting for causes I empathised with. And slowly the fairy tale like stories of project why became far and few. There were more important issues to address.
For me this became a platform to share my thoughts, my anger, my distress, my anguish, my horror and my opinions to aberrations that seemed more the rule than the exception. I wanted to be heard.
In 2009 I began writing my second book. This one was about the project why story. Once I again I opted to write it in the form of letters to a child and entitled it Dear Popples II. The bye line was ‘the project why story’. I wrote about 100 pages without any problem in a very short time. And then one day I simply could not continue. The story stopped circa 2004. It was a strange writer’s block that refused to go. I tried many times to pick up the threads but to no avail. I decided to let it be till the time was right.
One day, maybe in 2013 I found myself opening the abandoned file and reread what I had written and see if I could move on or if not at least figure out what had happened. It took me some time to realise that my pen had stopped at what I call the fairy tale years and that somehow the approach that seemed right for the first 100 pages did not and would not work for the remainder of the story. The bye line could not be ‘the project why story’ but had to become something like ‘India song’. I had two choices either rewrite the whole book or make it in two parts. I opted for the later as only this way will the reader fully appreciate the dynamic and organic nature of project why but also share the changes such an experience has on a human soul. For I cannot shy from the fact that I am in no way the same person I was when it all began. Have I changed for the better? I do not know. I do miss the naive and trusting being I was then and something do not like the bitter and splenetic woman I sometimes seem to have become. Maybe the truth lies in between the two.
Even though I will have to sneak time to write the book, I will continue to blog, as blogging is an immense catharsis for me and I need to rant and rave or else I would blow a fuse,  The blogs were not only an account of the trials and tribulations of project why, but also a personal journey where I too have learnt to shed my cynicism and look with my heart no matter what I saw.

But the writer’s block did not go away. Some difficult occurrences in my life saw to that. Be the heart wrenching decision to destroy my parent’s. home due to financial issues in 2017 or the terrible news that befell upon us in 2020 when I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. The following months were harrowing with chemo et al and then all side effects that robbed me of the ability to read and write.

It is only at the beginning of this year – 2026 – that I have picked up my virtual pen again, albeit hesitantly and am now busy going through all the blogs to refresh an ageing memory!

It is time to finish: Dear Popples II – an India Song.

Before I end I Ould like to share what a reader had written way back in 2013

Today I want to write about a blog which energize me each time I visit it. The blog, Projectwhy drowns my cynicism and taunts me too. I often lament about things but don’t do much about it, other than blog. But at projectwhy, one sees the other side of life and the way it is dealt with, in such a sincere manner. The author touches so many lives and continues to shine ever so brightly for them. I also love the way she deals with many of our current issues..

It is not what you GATHER but what you SCATTER

It is not what you GATHER but what you SCATTER

It is not what we GATHER but what we SCATTER, that tells what kind of life we have lived were the words on of the greatest athletes of our times began is speech at a red carpet gala function in Los Angeles in December 2025. He was to receive a life time achievement award. In a room. filled with unimaginable wealth he spoke with calm and intensity.

This is what he said: “We’re sitting here surrounded by comfort, success, and excesswhile millions outside these walls are struggling just to survive. If you are blessed with influence and resources and choose not to act, then you are not neutral. You are complicit.” “Privilege is not something to enjoy privately. It’s a responsibility. When you have more than you need, it stops being just yours. Purpose must come before comfort.” “Legacy is not about titles or records,” he said. “It’s about how many lives you lift when no one is watching. Winning means nothing if it ends with you.”

Novak Djokovic announced that he will commit all future earnings from select endorsements, post-career projects, and a significant portion of his business ventures – estimated to exceed $160 million – toward global humanitarian efforts, including children’s education, access to healthcare, food security, and support for families living in extreme hardship.

The effect was immediate. The room fell silent. People were stunned, then everyone stood up and applauded with reverence.

I too was at first stunned when I read these words and then my heart filled with gratitude as here was a man who said what I had always felt at a gathering of the world’s most rich and famous. A chance I would never get’

Nevertheless I have been saying just that for the past 25 years to whoever is willing to listen notwithstanding the fact that many or actually most believed the it was an old woman rambling. I continued to walk the talk and over the past quarter of a century have reached out to thousands in need and will  continue to do so till my last breath. I will also pray that Djokovic’s words will resonate and open the hearts of many. It is all about seeing with your heart.

Thank you Novak Djokovic for restoring my faith in humanity and setting a standard. God bless you.

PS. We wrote to the Novak Djokovic foundation and were humbles and elated to receive a prompt reply promising that they would consider our appeal when they start reaching out to other countries. We wait with bated breath.

 

In the sands of time – an India song

In the sands of time – an India song

Memories are the footprints we leave in the sands of time 

For the past few days I have been travelling down memory lane and that for a very special reason. In 2015 if my memory serves me right I decided to write the Project Why story. It was time when the elephant in the room ie what happens to Project Why after I go, loomed large and we were looking at diverse options. I somehow intuitively felt that Project Why as I had seeded and nurtured would soon become a thing of the past. It would take on a whole new avatar as it had to be freed from the tender clutches of an ageing lady who had somewhat kept it hidden from the world. A whole new chapter had to be written. I had mixed feelings as every parent whose child is about to leave the nest.

It was also the time whenI realised that the project why story till then was in great part in my head. It was time that I put it on paper. So I began writing in earnest and must have written about 150 pages when a series of unforeseeable events hit me and turned my life on its head. The house that had been my haven after the death of my parents needed to be broken down as it was falling apart. Emptying the house was heart breaking and left me rudderless. That was also the time when I started getting pain in my bones. The next three years were difficult as the pains grew and nothing helped. We moved back in early 2020 to  a sparkling new house but to me it  felt soulless. The pains were now excruciating. In May 2020 I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, another shock and then underwent chemo. For a long time I found myself unable to read more so write, It was frustrating as writing had somewhat defined me in more ways than one. It would take five long years for me to pick up my virtual pen again and when I dd  I felt alive!

Now picking up something you wrote a decade ago is not easy specially when you are dealing with what is called chemo brain. My memory was mush; I. needed an anchor.That is when I remembered the over 1500 blogs I had written and decided to visit them again. A herculean task to say the least but one that proved a heartwarming and incredible experience.

What I thought would be a tedious task turned out to be a wonderful journey down memory lane.When I had written those 1500 blogs it was always subsequent to some occurrence or the other, some good, some disturbing and some even infuriating. As I read through those posts I realised that they were in no ways a linear account of Project Why’s happenings but more a personal reflection of what came my. way and many a times they influenced our journey, made us make course corrections, take on new challenges and steer us on the right path. Just going through 500 posts showed me how amazing our journey has been, a journey one should be proud of. So I am now rearing to finish the Project Why story so that everyone can share this amazing India Song as I recall the footprints we have left on the sands of time.

PS: I rarely put my picture on a blog but decided to share an old snapshot of Utpal, Kiran and me just to remember the good old days!

 

Reminiscing

Reminiscing

I have written a blog entitled “what a year it has been” where I looked back at the year gone by through my Project Why lens. It was indeed a very special year one that will usher a transformation for Project Why.

But today I would like to take a walk down memory lane and share what 2025 was for me.

The one thing that comes to mind is my health that was abysmal to say the least for the larger par of the year gone by. Several health issues practically grounded me and locked me up within the four walls of my home. This was understandably extremely disheartening as I was unable to visit the Project and interact with the children and my team.

My lifeline to the Project was the WhatsApp group where the teachers diligently share pictures of various activities in all centres. And pictures do speak a thousand words. Regular Zoom calls kept me in touch with the staff and the lead team.

2025 saw sea changes in Project Why thanks to our funder turned mentor AdishJi who helped us address the elephant n the room: the long time sustainability of Project Why. To this end he suggested seminal changes in our way of functioning. Change as he warned us was ALWAYS painful as it entailed giving up comfort zones and embracing the unknown. I watched my staff struggle through the changes and could feel the resistance but hats off to them they soldiered on. I am confident that 2026 will bear the fruits we seek.

2025  did not only usher changes in the management structure that graduated from the mom and pop culture where everything grew organically and somewhat haphazardly. Today we have three verticals: programmes, Administration and Finance and Marketing and PR. The idea is to free Project Why from the shadows it was relegated to, mostly because of my reclusive personality, and showcase its achievements and successes. An aggressive marketing and social media thrust and a series of YouTube films showcasing our success stories were the highlight of the this new avatar. I must admit that even I did not realise how much we had achieved. This sentiment was echoed by many after they watched our silver jubilee celebrations on November 1st. It was an incredible show!

2025 also saw our entry into the digital world of learning with the setting up of our very own state-of-the-art recording studio where lesson were recorded fr most of the subjects of classes 9 and 10. This will launch Project Why to a wider audience.

It was also the year where I finally felt that we had addressed the elephant in the room that loomed large for several years. It finally felt that Project Why will live beyond me and that is all thanks to Adish Jain our donor turned mentor and friend. He ensured that we present a cohesive and trustworthy image to the world. My gratitude to him knowns no bounds.

All in all 2025 was a great year in spite of my health hiccups!

I look forward to 2026.

I will end with the new year wishes I sent this yer:

Let the past rest softly,
let the present breathe deeply,
and let the future unfold with hope.
Wishing everyone a beautiful New Year ✨