The flood waters have receded. Luckily they did not enter the Yamuna centre. The incredible Yamuna team is now busy executing Plan B whereby they will open the centre and resume classes but with the minimum needed as rains can still come and bring floods with them. They have decided not to bring all that was removed to a safer place as yet. They will simply get the bare essentials that will allow them to teach the children and serve the daily lunch. Project Why’s Yamuna centre is back on track!

Last week the waters came to the very edge of the centre and we all feared that they would enter it. Mercifully that did not happen. But for a few days every one was on edge. Everyone had moved to the minuscule tents erected by the government on the embankment  to shelter the displaced families. The teachers came every morning and braved all odds to stay with the children and occupy them as best they could. In one tent a teacher sat with the small children playing games, in another the older students studied so as not to loose a day. Lunch was given to the children every day and even to some of the families who were unable to cook. Not one day were the children left alone. Surendra, Anjali, Sabrun and Amit and of course Dharmendra stood by them in their hour of strife.

I feel so proud of my teachers who have always risen to the occasion whatever the challenge thrown at them. They have walked the extra mile and come up with ways to meet the challenges head on. Their dedication is laudable. They have proved time and again that they are worthy of the trust reposed in them.

When I look back at the years gone by I realise that it is the teachers who are the corner stone of Project Why and essential to its very existence. Without them we could not exist and with them we do not need much to exist. They have taught with barely any resource on roadsides and under trees, armed with their determination and love of teaching. I feel blessed to have such a dedicated team. They have braved the elements, faced the wrath of the politicians, the anger of the community and even bulldozers but have always emerged stronger. They have found solutions out of the box and given me the strength and courage to continue. Without them there would be no Project Why.

To each one of them Chapeau Bas!

2019 has been the year of floods as many parts of India have received unprecedented rain. Delhi has been on flood alert since the past few days.

For many of us it does not matter as we are safe in our homes, but for the thousands who live close to the river it is devastating. We at Project Why are one of those as our Yamuna centre is located in the flood plain. It caters to the children of the agricultural labour who grow vegetables in the flood plains, and live there.

Our Yamuna centre is probably one of the most endearing of all our centres as it is located far from the maddening crowd and the hustle bustle of the city, amidst trees and fields, in almost idyllic settings. We opened the centre in 2015 and today we reach out to 85 children.

Unlike other centres the Yamuna centre runs all-day courses as these children do not go to any school, and a hot lunch is provided to the children every single day, something every child and parent looks forward to. The children are bright and free-spirited. Six of them are ready to sit for their class X Boards and have been admitted to the Open School.

Every year during monsoon time we fear the coming of floods but until last year, our school was spared and we heaved a sigh of relief. But this year is a red letter year.

Two days back we were told to vacate the premises as waters had been released into the Yamuna and would hit the city in a matter of hours. Everyone was shocked and heart broken.

The smaller children looked lost as we began to pack our ware. Older children were taken by their parents to pluck as many vegetables as possible before the waters arrived as everyone knew that this would be the last income for a long time.

The plain started filing as we removed our things one after the other. Most of it the things be taken to our Women’s centre at Madanpur Khader. Some of it would be put in the tents the government was installing on the embankment for the families to move into. Everyone has been running helter-skelter trying to salvage as much as possible. We all felt sad and helpless.

The waters rose slowly, today they have reached the centre itself and more water is expected. No one knows how much and for how long. Even after the waters recede it will take time for everything to dry up and for the school to be up and running again.

My heart goes out to the children who have lost their school and their right to be children, to laugh, learn and play. My heart goes out to my team who built this school from scratch and have to now witness its destruction. But I know deep in my heart that this is a temporary phase and that we will rise like the Phoenix and build it all up again.

Till then, the teachers plan to work with the smaller children in the tents the families are living in. They will teach the older ones on the roadside if need be.

They have also decided to continue feeding the children at lunch time as the families are not allowed to cook in the tents and the lunch provided by the state always reaches very late.

We are determined to see our work continue. Whether it is in the same spot or another. We cannot leave these wonderful children, for their tomorrows are in our custody.

If you’d like to help these children continue their education, and contribute to our efforts at rebuilding, please consider donating a small amount.

Hoisting the flag at the Giri Nagar centre last week was a walk down memory lane. This is where it all began way back in the winter of 2000. In those days we had just acquired a small mud jhuggi across the street where the flag was hoisted and had begun our spoken English classes with a handful of students and a few volunteers. Then sometime later we opened our first class for special needs children at the very spot we hoisted the flag.This happened because a special educator landed on our threshold a few special kids in tow stating that the school they went to had shut their doors and they had nowhere to go. To her question: did we have a special needs class the answer was an immediate yes. It was one of the first deafening whys to be answered. Thus began our special needs class and some of the kids that came to us that cold winter morning are still with us today. Next to it was the first senior secondary class with a handful of class X students preparing for their Boards, the result of a challenge thrown by their Principal who stated that these boys could never clear their Boards. They all did. That was the sum  of Project Why in early 2001!

Unfurling that flag to the singing of the National Anthem by the students of Giri Nagar was a moving movement. Two decades later I was standing at the very spot where the journey began. I was choked with emotion. This was also the place where Manu’s blue plastic chair stood and where I shared many meals with him, sitting on a red stool and partaking of the morsels of flat bread dipped in dal that he so lovingly preferred. To me it was manna from the Gods.

We have come a long way from that winter in 2000. Today we have 6 centres spread across South Delhi, 1200 children in our after school programme, 160 women learning a skill to become financially independent and of course our very special children who have ‘graduated’ from the pavement to their own three room centre. It has been an eventful and rewarding journey, one I am terribly proud of. Quite frankly way back in 2000 I never would have imagined how far we would get. I cannot say it was an easy ride. There were many challenges along the way but somehow we met them all head on. What allowed us to grow and flourish was the network of people from across the world who reached out to us and believed in what we did. My heartfelt gratitude and unconditional love to each one of them.

Today we stand at crossroads again. We need to raise funds for two of our biggest centres as we lose their funding in March 2020. And though it looks like mission impossible at this moment, I know deep in my heart that a miracle is on its way. We simply need to hold on to our dreams tight and  walk the road less travelled as we have always done.

Standing on that roadside unfurling the flag I could feel the presence of Manu and the pledge I made to him to honour his life by never giving up.

Tomorrow Ranjan, my significant other, celebrates his 70th birthday! We have been together for 45 years. That is more than a life time. He has stood by me like a rock and supported me in every way possible. He has given wings to all my dreams, even those that had the propensity to turn his life on its head. I could not have been who I am without his silent and loving support.

When I look back at our life together, I realise that I have made impossible demands on him and that he has always been there for me, Project Why being possibly the most challenging one. Imagine being told one day that life as you knew it is going to change drastically because your partner has decided to bring in a world that you barely knew existed within the confines of your home. Ranjan did not bat an eye lid when I told him I was setting up an organisation to help slum children and that its first office would be the guest room of our house. Now Ranjan loves the good things in life: good food and music, antic furniture and objets d’art, and an organised existence to say the least. And lo and behold one fine morning  your sanctum sanctorum is suddenly invaded by people the kind you never met or even knew existed, by children running about, by strangers sharing your dining table, by cartons cramming the entrance door. Anyone would hit the roof. But not Ranjan. He simply accepted it all because he knew it made his partner happy. Unknowingly he had embraced seeing with his heart.

Twenty years is a longtime, and for twenty years Ranjan has had to live with the larger than life presence of Project Why. Even tough we eventually moved out of the house quite early, Project Why remained a permanent resident of my home. Ranjan became my sounding board in times of strife, the shoulder I could lean on when things got rough, the person I could share all my problems and angst with and he always listened patiently and gave the advise sought. His tender words of encouragement were the panacea for all ills and allowed me not to give up.

As time went by, Project Why worked its magic on him too. He came to appreciate the work we did, and enjoy the presence of the many volunteers who stayed with us, some becoming close to him too. When he was diagnosed with cancer, some even flew all the way to Delhi to be with him, some called regularly and others  sent him feel good parcels. Ranjan had become part of the Project Why family.

I was deeply touched when I heard from friends that from the very early days of Project Why, Ranjan was very proud of what I did and though he did not tell me much, he shared his feelings with his friends and colleagues. I felt blessed.

I would not be wrong in saying that he has been my and Project Why’s staunchest albeit silent supporter.

Happy birthday dearest Ranjan.

Note: the picture above was taken at the Delhi Gymkhana Club, where thanks to Ranjan we could organise a lunch for all our staff members.

At  a time when the future of Project Why is hanging by a thread as we struggle to find our feet and long term sustainability, I sometimes find myself in need of a feel good shot to reassure me and give me the needed impetus to soldier on. One of the things I find myself doing is looking back at the two decades gone by and reliving a chapter of the Project Why story. Today I look back at our Khader women centre as it is one that may have to be shut by March 2020 if we are not able to find funding for it.

Like every part of Project Why, the women centre has a wondrous story. Though I have always believed that true change is to be routed through women, something Kamala my mother firmly believed in, it took some time for the women centre to see the light of day. The obvious way would have been to seed a women centre at the very outset but that was not to be as Project Why grew organically answering the whys that came its way. It would be the same for the women centre, a why that needed to be answered.

When two marginalised women one an alcoholic on the road to recovery and the other needing post surgery care came our way seeking help, we had to step up and give it. The need of the hour was to create a safe place for them to help them rebuild their lives. We did just that: set up a small residential facility for these two ladies. Easier said than done as when the community came to know about them, we were asked to vacate the premisses. Society is not kind to marginalised women. That is when we realised that to be able to find a place to house our ladies, we would need to do more than just that. We decided to follow the pattern of the other centres and set up a children centre next to our residential unit and also run a vocational centre to empower women of the community. We were lucky to find the exact space we needed at Madanpur Khader and the women centre began its activities in 2007 with two ladies in a residential facility, scores of children in an after school study programme and a handful of women in a stitching course. Our women centre was well on its way.

We would go on to close our residential centre as sadly one woman went back to the bottle and the other healed and went back to normal life. The space reclaimed would be used to extend our work with children and women. We would add a beautician course, secondary classes, a library and a computer centre as well as adult education classes. Today the Khader centre is a family of over 350 souls with a team of 15 people gently but firmly guided by the incomparable Dharmendra. One of our funders wrote beautifully about this centre. I share her words here.

Needless to say, I dedicated the centre to Kamala as every lesson I learnt at her knee was fulfilled within the walls of this beautiful centre.

The Khader centre is also dear to my heart for many other reasons. It was Utpal’s home for a while as that is where his mum was recovering before she finally left to disappear. It was the place where we first saw Meher and were able to conjure a better life for her. Today both Meher and Utpal come back and volunteer at Project Why during their holidays. There is really a kind of magic in this hallowed place.

So closing it is not an easy option. I will have to do whatever is needed to ensure that our work carries on. Today I want to believe in miracles and pray for one.

One can hardly imagine how things unfold, almost serendipitously! Since last year our boarding school kids have been spending their holidays at Project Why teaching the younger children and participating in all activities of the centre. It all began in April 2018 when Utpal and  Babli started going to the Khader centre to ‘pass’ time as they had just finished their Boards and had a lot of time on their hands while waiting for the results. They both taught junior classes and Utpal also taught he children dance. They enjoyed the experience and were all set to return during the winter holidays.

During the winter holidays as the children were preparing for their New Year Party and Republic Day celebrations, Utpal, the born entertainer, took on the role of master of ceremonies and choreographer. Needless to say the shows were perfect.

Volunteering became a part of these kids life. Every holiday they would return to Khader soon joined by Manisha, Meher and Vicky.

They did it with love and dedication, as if they knew in their hearts that this was the right thing to do. They were paying back!

This summer they would go one step ahead.

One fine morning Utpal told me that his Ma’am Madhumita was going to visit the Khader centre. I was pleasantly surprised but did not give it much thought at that time. Madhumati Ma’am came and taught at both our Khader and Yamuna centres. I put up a post on facebook thanking her for her visit and it is only when I saw her answer that I realised how Utpal had organised this visit. He had taken ownership of the Project. I share her post here: But I am really grateful to my dearest Utpal who had called me up one fine afternoon , when I was in Kolkata, requesting me to take class it was as though he had heard my hearts wish. I had been always wanting to pay a visit but due to my ill health , I was unable to do so but Utpal’s call came to me as a blessing from heaven, and Utpal was that messenger of God. Madhumita Nag Pathak Teacher CSKM

My heart filled with gratitude and joy. Looked like we had done our job well and instilled the right values in these children even though they were away from us in boarding school. Utpal had felt the desire to have his beloved teacher come and share her knowledge with the Project Why children. It was his initiative. He had taken ownership of the Project.

Utpal even invited the manager and of his school canteen to discuss funding options as he knew we were short of funds. Mr Sharma spent time talking to Dharmendra and sharing his ideas. It was a fruitful interaction that opened other ways of thinking and new possibilities.

At a time when we are all worried about the future of Project Why, these small initiatives are like a breath of fresh air. They are also proof of the fact that the next generation is ready to take the lead of Project Why 2.0. It was simply a matter of time.

It is also time for the likes of me to realise that our ways may not be the right ones anymore and that one has to accept change and go with it. It is time to pass the baton. We have  done our bit and done it well. Now our role is to help the new generation take ownership.

It is customary for the special needs class to celebrate the end of their summer camp with a memorable outing. Normally they go to a park or to their favourite place the Lodhi gardens. But this time would be different. They would visit a mall. A first for most of them. Everyone was very excited as they set out bright and early. The idea was to walk though the mall and have lunch at the food court.

Our special meeds children are to the major born as no one would have guessed that they had never set a foot in a mall. They walked through the mall looking at everything around them with interest, stopping at some shops longer than the other, fascinated by the sight they saw but extremely well behaved. They posed for photographs when asked. They enjoyed their walk through the mall working an appetite for the treat to come.

It was soon lunch time and everyone headed for the food court. They waited patiently as the teachers purchased the coupons. Every one was given a choice and the children zeroed in on scrumptious dosas and chola bhatura. Everyone enjoyed the meal!

It was soon time to head back to school. But not before enjoying an ice cream!

Outings are very special for these souls who rarely go out of their homes. At project Why we try and take them out as often as we can but not as much as we would like to for want of funds. Taking them out and seeing them enjoy themselves is a real treat for all of us as you witness pure unadulterated pleasure.

Bhutan  has just made teachers and medical staff the highest paid civil servants in the country. Let us not forget that Bhutan is the country where  Gross National Happiness is more important than the GDP! Education and health are now the highest priorities in the tiny country. This means that Bhutan puts its children and people first.

On the other side of the planet a young Prime Minister has also turned things on their head. Jacinda Ardern presented a budget “where spending is dictated by what best encourages the “well-being” of citizens, rather than focussing on traditional bottom-line measures like productivity and economic growth.” The young New Zealand Prime Minister also puts people first!

I wish we did the same in India!

In the last week over 170 young children have died of encephalitis  in Muzaffarpur Bihar due to poor medical facilities and most of all due to malnutrition and poor care. According to data this was mostly due to the indifference of the state government towards nutrition and healthcare in spite of many schemes in place. Let us not  forget that 5000 children under five still die of malnutrition in India EVERY DAY. A statistic I have often quoted as it makes my blood run cold. And in Muzzffarnagar  every second child under the age of 5 in stunted. Had a simple programme like ICDS launched in 1975 worked then no one under age of 44 should have been malnourished in India. Where are our priorities!

The same is the case with education. In spite of a Constitutional Right to Education the education system across the land leaves a lot to be desired. Again it is not a priority. There are schools with no teachers or with one teacher! There are schools without desks or books. There are schools were more than 100 kids are cramped in a single classroom. There are over 15 million of children out of school. There are over 33 million children engaged in child labour. There are children begging at every red light. Something is not right. We as a nation have lost the ability to see with our hearts.

It is time we prioritised education and health care. For those who cannot afford a private hospital, the only option are the state run facilities. If these do not work then a large chunk of the population is again left out and forced to go to quacks or even faith healers. The other option is a private hospital but that entails high debts.

Making teachers and health staff the highest paid civil servant would ensure that the best opt for such jobs and hence the quality of education and public health would improve in quantum leaps. Government spending as Jacinda Ardern says should be on ensuring the well being of every citizen particularly the poorest or most marginalised. This is the way governments should go as this is what would bring the much needed change we all aspire for.

Children are the most precious asset of any country and we must ensure that each and every one of them get the best.

The last few weeks haven’t been easy. I have spent many a sleepless nights trying to figure out how we will meet the crisis we face. We have lost one of our big funders and come 2020 we will be in a fix if I am not able to conjure a miracle and come up with the missing numbers. All our efforts till now have been futile and I can only hope that things will work out for us. I am really not in a happy place.

Last week the special section had its summer camp and after a long time I found myself climbing the three flights of stairs that take you to that class. As soon as I entered the class I was greeted by a loud ‘good morning ma’am’ and a big hug from Shalini. Within moments all the students came around me with huge smiles and I felt my spirits lift up instantly.

I had forgotten how this class and these incredible gentle and caring souls have always had the ability to make me smile and lift any blues I may have sunk in. A visit to their class is my instant feel good shot. Their smiles are irresistible and their candid and honest love for life is infectious. You just have to forget your worries as you enter their world.

But that is not all. Seeing them was also realising that I had to do whatever it took to ensure that Project Why carry on beyond 2020 and beyond me! All these children come from difficult backgrounds and homes where they are often not accepted by all. It is in this space that we provided them that they are treated with dignity and love and given hope. It is a fun filled space where difference is celebrated and bonds created. There was no way I could deprive them of their centre.

I came back filled with determination and motivated to soldier on and craft the miracles I needed and I realised that whenever I felt I was slipping all I had to do was climb those flight of stairs to my go to place.

Thank you darling souls for being there for me.

If you are in Delhi or plan to visit, I strongly urge you to find a moment and visit my incredible children!

Last week was world environment week and in site of the scorching heat, children of all centres of Project Why celebrated environment in their own special way. Drawing competitions were held in all centres and children shared their vision on how to save the environment.

Workshops on the Dead River Project were held at our Khader and Yamuna centres to talk about the  road ahead for India in terms of sustainability and conservation of water and create awareness about the condition of river bodies and what we can do to save them. The children were very attentive and committed to do their bit to save water.

On June 8th and workshop on pollution and a small plantation drive was held at our Govindpuri Centre by the PwC Foundation. The PwC team talked to the children about all forms of pollution: air, water, noise, land etc. Children shared their views and ways to combat the pollution menace. It was a fun filled session with a lot of interactive activities. Children sang and danced and shared their dreams for the future. Some children wanted to join the army or the police; others wanted to be doctors and teachers and yet other dreamt of being cricketers! When quizzed about cricked they were spot on!

But the most touching dreams were those of some of our special children. Geetu who has recently been appointed as a teacher’s aide wants to become a ‘Ma’am’ like all her teachers, Shalini who is also a teacher’s  aide is happy continuing what she is doing now and Ritu wants to be Bharatnatyam teacher like her mother.

All the children then participated in the plantation  drive filling pots with earth and carefully placing the plants and then watering them. They all promised to look after the plants and invited the guests to come and visit again. The celebration ended with a distribution of cool lassi and bananas and of course  chocolates. In spite of the terrible heat everyone had a great time.

We are grateful to Sourabh Sengupta from the Dead River Project and to Jaivir Singh and the PwC Foundation for having chosen Project Why to come and celebrate Environment Week.

The new education policy is soon to be revealed. It has been four years in the making. Though no details are known, the major focus it is said will be on  improvement of quality of education, curriculum, bringing in new technology, and changing the pedagogy. This is truly music to one’s ears as the present education system is due for an overhaul. This system was inherited from a colonial past where the need of the day was to have a docile workforce willing to follow rules blindly. There was no room for independent thinking or creativity.

Over the years we have witnessed how the system has deteriorated to become one where learning by rote is lauded. Today you simply need to learn your text book by heart to get a 100% even in subjects like English. There is no room for personal views or creative thinking. And as entry to colleges is based on marks, only those who have the ability to learn by heart can hope to accede to higher education in state run universities. This means that children from humbler homes, who cannot compete with their peers from richer ones and who cannot effort private universities simply fall off the wagon.

What the present system is teaching today is not in sync with the needs of the XXIst century job market. Some of the skills required to succeed in today’s world are critical thinking, creativity, collaboration, initiative, leadership etc. One sincerely hopes that the new education policy will address some of these so that those who graduate will have a fair chance on the emerging job market. School education should be able to inculcate such skills in each and every child. This is a far cry for what they are taught today!

Many countries have changed their school education system and one of most acclaimed is Finland’s. For the Finns, ‘real winners do not compete’ and school is not about competing but about cooperating. School becomes an even playing field where all children find their place in the sun.

I hope and pray that the new education policy will rid the education of system of its colonial past and usher in the changes needed to succeed in this day and age. India children are bright and deserve the best.

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A very special summer camp is on at the very special section of Project Why. It is the third of its kind! Every year the students of the special needs section of Project Why have a vocational summer camp that culminates in an exhibition cum sale of the products they have created. This is part of our effort to not only teach the students new skills but also teach them how to market and sell their products to all the visitors that come to the exhibition. All proceeds of the sale are used to buy something for the students.

This year is a very special one as thanks to the generosity of our friend Swarup the vocational programme has its now ‘shed’ on the terrace of the centre and two new supervisors: Geetu and Shalini are now gainfully employed and run the centre under the benign care of their teachers.

Geetu and Shalini receiving their first pay cheque

Last month was a great moment for them as they received their first pay check! Shalini delighted us all as she went form class to class showing off her cheque and saying to one and all that she had passed!

Each year the team tries to be more creative and over and above bags and coasters, this year we have table mats, embroidered handkerchiefs, stunning bangles and earrings and much more. What is lovely is that everyone participates in someway or the other and all is done in s spirit of joy and fun. If you drop by the camp, all you see are smiles.

The special needs section of Project Why is by far the happiest place you can find and always brings a huge smile on your face. It is a real feel good shot. Our effort is to make this centre a happy place for the students, one where they are not judged or riled, where they can be themselves, laugh and have fun, one that restores their right to a fulfilling and dignified life.

If you are in Delhi on Saturday June 1st, please come and encourage these wonderful souls.

The class X and XII results are out and it is time to celebrate. Over 40 Project Why kids have cleared their boards and I am proud of each and every one of them. I am proud of the ones that got the sought 90% but also of those who just passed! It is true that marks make a difference in the present education scenario and that if you are not in the top percentile you may not get access to higher education in the college of your choice but have you ever thought of how unfair the grading system is to the child! Only those who have the ability and capability  to learn by heart can accede to those high marks. But does that mean that those who can’t are less capable?  And more so the child is judged on her or his performance on the five days of the examination! Do you call this fair? I don’t.

I recently came across a post on social media, that said the following:

Congratulations , for getting that 90% and more marks….

Congratulations for getting 60 % and more…..

Congratulations for getting 33% percent and more….

The class XII results are out and once again I am flummoxed at the results. 499/500 in humanities! 99.9% in subjects like English, history, psychology etc. I fail to understand how one achieves that except if the paper was entirely a multiple choice one and that is no the case. A couple of years ago a topper had admitted that she has learnt all the books by heart. My heart went out to the poor child and to all those who like her mug up the text book word for word. But that seems to be the way to go, or so it seems. I feel sorry for the children who have been usurped of their right to play, have fun, be creative, think out of the box, develop extra curricular skills and so on. To ‘succeed’ you have to excel in rote learning. Any child who cannot do that cannot get admission in the prized colleges and universities. Sadly the 99 percentile is something Project Why children cannot achieve as they run the race with many handicaps and try as we do, we cannot give them all that their peers from better homes have.

Quite frankly in my opinion a 99% obtained by rote learning does not define an intelligent child and does not open doors to carriers in today’s world.  What is needed in the Information Age are skills like creativity and imagination, critical thinking, problem solving, initiative etc. A far cru from rote learning. This is the antithesis of the education system our children follow and which is rooted in the colonial past where what was required were pen pushers willing to obey orders. Education as we know it needs to be turned on its head.

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon an article about a proposed change of pattern in grading class X and XII examinations. The article was music to my years as it talked about a possible revamp of the examination pattern with a view to discourage students from rote learning! The new pattern would test students on their analytical skills and reasoning abilities instead of blind copy pasting of textbook text. The plan has been submitted for approval and it is hoped that the changes would be effective in 2020. This is a huge step in the right direction and I do hope it will lead to more changes in the education system itself. Way to go!

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There is always Room for Hope is the title of the book I wrote when battling my partner’s cancer. Writing helped me cope with the elephant in the room and hope was what I held on to with both hands and my heart. And somehow we managed to survive and ultimately win the battle against all odds. This was six years ago. With life resuming its normal course I had forgotten about those terrible days.

It is only this morning when I sat on my balcony after yet another sleepless night wondering where we would be next month, next year, next…., that the title of my book suddenly appeared in my mind and I once again understood that in the darkest hour, hope was the only lifeline you could cling to. And hence, today, when all seems dark in the horizon I need to hang on to hope like never before.

Project Why’s life is a stake as in spite of all our efforts and prayers, the miracle we sought is nowhere in sight. We are again on life support and need to find a long term solution to continue our work or else look for the honourable way out, if way out there is. My blood runs cold at the very thought as every part of Project Why is like a child to me and I do not want to be face with Sophie’s choice. Yesterday we received a rejection from a funding institution; many of our appeals have gone unheard and unanswered; the situation is grim to say the least.

And yet amidst all this, hope remains alive.

When I look back at the last two decades I recall the umpteen times when we have been at the edge of despair and yet never gave up hope. And each and every time a miracle, for want of a better word, occurred making me believe that there was someone, the God of Lesser beings, who intervened and ensured we remain on track. I must confess that there were times when we were almost hubristic in our approach, making promises and commitments that defied all reason. But somehow we knew in our hearts that we would be able to stand by them: we never gave up hope.

Today I have over a thousand children with dreams in their eyes who believe that we can fulfil them. I have a team of almost 50 souls who depend on us to feed their loves ones. So how can I give up hope?

I did not give it up when a scalded baby landed in my arms and today he is a lovely teenager who walks in your heart or when a little girl was found rummaging the garbage dump for foods, her body burnt her fingers fused and today she is an impish young girl who you cannot help but fall for.

I did not give it up when broken hearts came to us for repair; I did not give it up when bulldozers raised my happy place to the ground, I did not give it up when a bunch of boys were riled by their principal who branded them as gutter snipes, I did not give it up each time a mother came with a prayer that needed to be answered. I never gave up because I knew that no matter how dark the night, there was hope at the end of it when the sun would rise again.

So today again I need to hold on to hope as tight as I can, and believe in my heart that the sun will rise again tomorrow. I just need the strength to go through the night.

Some of the inmates of our heartFixHotel

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Seeing this picture today warmed the cockles of my heart, brought a huge smile on my face and sent me down memory lane. The girl in the striped Tshirt is none other than our darling Kiran! She has just finished writing her class XII examinations and while waiting for the results is ‘volunteering’ at our Yamuna centre where she teaches English to children of all classes. She is a diligent and committed teacher, what else would she be? Kiran has always been a serious child, way beyond her age and my companion in arms in the early project why years. She was born the year we began Project Why. I actually held her in my arms when she was just a few days old. A year or so later she would be joined by Utpal and the three of us would be inseparable. The fact that she was born on my mother’s birthday gave her the right to call me Anou!

Kiran was always a serious and quiet child, who would surprise you by her mature almost adult ways. As a child her preferred drink was a ginger ale! She was to the manor born and a pleasure to be with. In those days I would tuck Kiran on one hip and Uptal on the other and set off on many expeditions. They both joined the same play school and it was my duty to fetch them at noon. Then the three of us would swing by the momo shop (momos were rare in those days) and gorge ourselves before heading back. Once when we were walking to Project Why we passed by mounds of food thrown on the ground after a wedding party. Kiran looked upset and looked up at me and said: they could have fed it to the cows! When it was time to admit her to school, we all lived the ‘admission nightmare’ together and I could understand first hand what millions of parents went through each year!

Kiran’s favourite class at Project Why was always the special needs section. From a very young age she warmed up to these very special kids who became her friends and each summer she would spend her holidays ‘volunteering’ in that class. And each summer holiday homework was a bane we had to live with together.

When Utpal went to boarding school at the age of 4, she was heart broken. She made it a point to come to every PTM as she missed her little soul mate. She was over the moon when we decided to send her to the same boarding school as her pal after she completed her class X. They spent two great years together.

Next month she will get her results and decide what she wants to opt for as a career. I know that she will shine in whatever she chooses to do as she is an extremely bright child who can withstand all challenges and find her place in the sun.

She is our little ray of sunshine.