This little girl all dressed up for her second birthday is looking ahead at her future: what does it hold for her, she wonders. Let in unfold and be a mystery.
Tomorrow she will be 27010 days or 74 years old. Time to look back at the mystery and answer the one question that has always troubled her: when it is time to go can I look into a mirror and not have to look away. The little girl is me!
When I look back at the years gone by what first comes to mind is the abundance of love I was smothered me by my two doting parents whose only child I would be. It was pure unconditional love something I would understand much later in life. This love did not translate in abundant toys or making every wish come true. It was the time my mother and father spent with me, the stories they told me, the long moments of silence when nothing needed to be said, the gentle whisper, the loving embrace each one leaving indelible traces that would slowly make me into who I am. The values never spelt out but always shared as stories or gestures to emulate taught me long ago that giving was the most important thing in your live. Giving without expecting. Just giving. I first felt it viscerally in my gut at the age of three when my eyes were staring at the man without a coat in winter and not at the pranks of his bear. I still feel the same gut wrenching when I hear any street hawker walking by my window trying to sell wares nobody buys anymore. With malls and ten minutes delivery Apps and houses now transformed into many flats who goes down to the street to buy a few vegetables and smile at the vendor. Does anyone ask herself the question: will his family eat tonight?
I remember a friend sharing an anecdote from Star Wars asking what are the three most important words in the world? And no it is not I Love You; it is PLEASE HELP ME. I was never on Starship Enterprise but these words were seared in my soul a long time ago.
Life took over: studies, jobs, marriage children and now grandchildren and all the responsibilities that come with them. The love of my parents was still there, still unconditional. and my only strength and anchor but then by 1992 I lost both of them and my life became a dark bottomless abyss. For many years I could not find a way to get out of it.
But then I remembered a silent promise made to myself when I discovered the village my ancestor left way back 1890 and that still looked frozen in time. I realised that fate has given me everything though I should have been like the women of this village: illiterate and a grandmother at 30. Again the twist in my gut and the question: what can you do to help.
That is when a series of serendipitous occurrences happened and somehow at the dawning of my sixth decade I was prompted to create Project Why. Miracles after miracles, some big, some small and some unbelievably large came our way and in a a few short years we were reaching out to over 1000 children. Every time I felt I had hit rockbottom and would have to pack up and shut the door, a shot of abundance came my way. My helping journey was not over. Even the terrible diagnosis of MM in 2020 did not have the power to alter my course.
Along the way I understood many things. First and foremost there are innumerable good souls in this world and we at Project Why were blessed to build a network of such people that I call the Project Why Family. Next that honesty is the only way to follow; the rewards will come.
Today there are thousands of children who have completed their education and a great number has joined us as teachers at Project Why. Others have become successful in many ways. Four of our alumni have got admitted to IITs!
All this sounds great. But that is not the end of the story. Project Why has also been a spiritual journey for me, one where I have redefined my own religious beliefs. I do not need to visit any temple, go on any pilgrimage. I see God every day in the eyes of all my Project Children. I have also realised along this path that the first soul you must learn to love is YOU. You are your only lifelong friend and only if you love yourself can you help and love others.
I have often quoted St Exupery’s Little Prince where the fox tells the Little Prince that it is only with the heart that one can see rightly. what is essential is invisible to the eye. For seeing with your heart you have to open it and let love flow. I understood that my becoming a recluse was not withdrawing from the world it was allowing me to open the door of my heart to allow myself to walk in. To help anyone you need to learn to look with your heart.
And the last lesson of this journey as on 4 April 2026 is to learn to surrender completely to whoever you believe in and hand Her/Him the reins of your life. The more you surrender, the more the Universe fulfils you.
Today I am ready to go as I know that I can look at the mirror and give myself a pat in the back while I Thank the Lord for everything I was blessed with.