I fist heard of Sindhutai many years ago when I was researching ‘good news’ stories for a friend. Her story was a true inspiration more so when I felt reluctant to ‘ask’ for money. I wrote about her way back in 2011 and as I reread the words I penned then, it all seems so true even today. In a nutshell you do not need to be rich to help others all you need is a big heart and Sindhutai’s is larger than any one else’s.
If you do not know her story, read it here. It is humbling and inspiring. Over the years she has been lauded and feted and things should have remained thus.
Sindhutai is all heart and people who are all heart just follow their heart; in her case from one child in need to another. Paperwork and official stamps can be overlooked as there is so much to be done. She has been trying to get her work registered for years but many hitches came along the way and she has now been asked to shut her orphanages by the State Government.
This is outrageous more so in a land where children are in need of every little bit of love they can get and she has that in abundance.
Her work is incredible and she needs to be helped.
Clarisse and Xavier have not ‘adopted’ Utpal legally but are nevertheless his French ‘parents’, and do everything a ‘parent’ would : loving him unconditionally and being there for him. Nothing proves that better than the story of a cricketer of yesteryear who ‘adopted’ the son of their laundry man, providing all the support he needed to succeed. Succeed he did: his latest gift to his ‘adoptive ‘ parents a swank Mercedes Benz. There were no need of papers and documents to seal the relationship all that was needed was love.
A recent article stated the sad fact that adoptions numbers were decreasing in India. The reason stated is paperwork! Another reason” surrogacy. Indians parents prefer adopting babies under one and will never adopt a differently abled child or a sick one. Adoption agencies have a glut of 3 to 4 years waiting for adoption. These will become 5, 6 and then 7 and one day become 18 year old when the law of the land does not give any further protection.
This reality was brought to light when last week a member of the Child Welfare Committee asked us whether we knew families that would be able to act as foster parents to children of dysfunctional families who are institutionalised. They cannot be adopted as they have natural parents. The conditions in institutions in India are far from the enabling environment a child needs to grow in as children with criminal backgrounds are placed with children from abusive homes. The risk of the child going the wrong way looms large. The children in question were from 1 to 10. Though we promised to try we knew it would be difficult if not impossible. And yet we knew how real the danger was.
Reaching out to a child with or without papers is all about love. As someone said: the adoption process can be challenging but love is instant! There are so many children who need us to open our hearts and let them in.
Yes ‘adopting’ a child will not change the world but for that child the world will change
She was barely 5 when she first joined the special section. It must have been in 2004. She could barely walk or talk. She was like a tiny frightened bird that needed to be tamed. As days went by and we got to know her better the smiles came hesitant at first then bigger and bigger. And a few steps and some sounds. The ice was broken. It would not take long before Sapna was like a fist in water in the special section of Project Why. But all was not well for her mom whose story breaks your heart. Do read it. It is the story of too many women in India.
Sapna was happy at Project Why but came the day where the family moved and she left. There was no news. We hoped for the best and prayed for her well being.
A fews days back her father came to the Project. The news was terrible. Sapna’s mom had passed away in March. She had suffered enough. The father asked us if we would have her back and the answer was a loud YES!
So Sapna is back. She is 16 now and really small. But her smile is there larger than ever and she was so thrilled to see us all. She walks now and even speaks. It is a delight to have her back and her old pals Umesh and Anurag are thrilled.
For us it is bittersweet: a gentle reminder of the fragility of her existence. What if something happens to her father? What if he remarries? Endless questions with no answers. A visit to her home was heart wrenching. The family had very little. Her brother Monty has turned for the worse. He told us that he sold ‘slippers’ from midnight to dawn. He seems to have been targeted by predators.
For the time being Sapna is with us. We have convinced Monty to come to the centre in the morning and study some. Though he has paper saying that he has studied till class VII he can barely read or write.
How much will we be able to do for these two lost souls is anyone’s guess but we will give it our best shot. Sapna will be safe with us during the day. We fear for her when she is back home.
Once again the critical need for a residential option like Project Why comes to mind. It was for the Sapna’s of this world.
Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime. Scars heal but the pain never goes away. And yet child abuse is on the rise. Recent studies show that there has been a 50% rise in the crime against children rate. Increased urbanisation seems to be a contributing factor. We are talking of children akin to those who come to Project Why everyday. Rape of children have become ‘epidemic’ in India’s capital city. Recently a mentally challenged 13 year old was brutally raped and left to die. She battles for her life.
A 8 year old was raped, she escaped death by pretending to be dead. She had seen this happen in a TV serial! One never thought one would give a thumbs up to serial viewing by kids!
The list is endless, each child being one too many, each one making one’s blood go cold.
At Project Why we are aware of this reality.
The first programme Project Why launched was aimed at children begging. The idea was if people gave biscuits instead of coins, the supply-demand equation could be turned on its head. Sadly it did not meet with success. However the plight of beggar children is still one of the most disturbing ones, a deafening Why that remains unanswered.
The case of the mentally challenged child who was abused once again brings to mind Planet Why. The first and most important reason for its existence was to provide safe haven to souls just like this little one. That too remained unachieved.
Project Why has always been, remains and always will be child centric. We are aware that these children are always at risk as they live in harsh conditions. Okhla is a drug haven and children are preferred targets. Teachers keep an extra eye on each child for tell tale signs, ready to intervene when needed.
Child abuse is most often perpetrated within the four walls of home, and thus a well-hidden secret tinged in guilt. Project Why staff is conscious of this and keeps a quiet watch, looking for imperceptible evidence.
Moreover, regular workshops are held for staff and children and ‘good touch’ ‘bad touch’ is an intrinsic part of our curriculum.
We have sadly had some cases. They are far and few between but in the case of a child, one is too many!
A child rights activist rightly said that “Stringent punishment provisions are not just enough. The changing social fabric needs to be studied to take appropriate measures to make systemic changes.” This is long haul. Till then we need to keep our children safe.
Our dearest friend Kabir of Azure Hospitality conjured another miracle. This time an invitation to a ‘posh’ lunch at the new Mamagoto in Connaught Place. For many of us lunch at a restaurant is a mundane affair. This is another story.
Most of the invitees had never been to a restaurant of this kind. Most of them probably never tasted high quality asian cuisine- a far cry from the chow mien or momos now available at every street corner. Many of them had never entered a restaurant of this class.
But the Project Why team team is to the manor born and no one would have guessed that this was a first!
The invitation was for 20 guests so students and teachers from each centre were selected. Every one was beautifully turned out and tasted new foods with enthusiasm. It was a merry party that lunched a the new Mamagoto on that sizzling day.
But all good things come to an end and so did that lunch.
To say that this is a memory that they will carry on their hearts forever is an understatement.
Two of the guests voiced their feelings.
One said this was probably the first and last enjoyable moment of his life.
The other simply said that this lunch was the happiest moment of her existence.
It is touching and humbling to see how an occurrence we take for granted gives such joy to those who rarely experience it.
Today we would like to walk down memory lane and talk of all the visitors we have had over the years. In most cases they return more than once. That is the magic of Project Why: once you walk in you leave a little bit of yourself and take a little bit of us.
We have many kinds of visitors, some who have become die-hard supporters and who make it a point to visit regularly. There are even Project Why tours organised by them! The best way to see how time has passed is to peruse the pictures and look at the children grow.
They are of all ages and come from across the globe. A bunch of Cub Scouts from the American school decide to help their Okhla friends paint their school, a group of girls from the American school in Beirut came visiting too. An octogenarian from Australia came to share Mahatma Gandhi’s message.
They come and spend time with children not shying from dirtying their hands. They serve meals to the children at the Yamuna centre and even give pedicures to special kids!
They come bearing gifts or ready to get us what is needed. They respond to our appeals be it for state-of-the-art hearing aids or a roof that needs to be made.
One of the most touching group of visitors were students with special needs from France who came to meet their Indian friends. That day doors and lanes seemed to have grown large enough to welcome the elaborate wheel chairs. It was a magical moment when no language was needed to convey what was felt. Everyone danced and laughed to their heart’s content. Invitations were made and for an instant, one believed that Project Why’s special kids could maybe visit their French friends till reality struck: given the circumstances our kids would never get a passport. But one can dream and who knows? Dreams do come true.
Over the years, we have been privileged and blessed to have so many people come to Project and leave as friends forever. Those who cannot come back remain in touch and in our hearts forever.
Please do read the links in this post. They are precious memories
