by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 10, 2007 | Uncategorized
I have often written about the hungry wolves that lurk in every corner trying to destroy any attempt that dares disturb the social balance they have set in place, no matter how lopsided it may be.
What is even more disturbing is that they succeed in a manner of speaking. Like all cowards they hit below the belt hoping to wear you down by their threats and abusive ways.
These predators often come in the garb of small trade unions or petty politicians who unfortunately are perceived to be powerful by the simple minds they control. A series of unfortunate consequences led one person to be convinced to file a frivolous case under the Shop and Establishments Act against our organisation. the bait was an enormous about of money dangled in front of a poor and gullible person.
The matter has been in the labour office for a while. As it seemed to sway in our favour, the pack resorted to vile tactics and yesterday threatened to send goondas to handle the issue and extort the money come what may. The threats were targeted at me in person and indirectly at the rest of the organisation.
I will be filing a complaint in the police station ad will carry on my work. However many questions come to mind. The bravado of an old woman is acceptable but can ask vulnerable people to do the same or can one put at risk children simply to make a point.
On the other hand any perception of fear would be a feather in the cap of our detractors. Does one pack up and go and thus write off the morrows of many innocent lives, or does one carry hoping for the best.
What is frightening in such matters is the attitude of the administration who fuels such frivolous cases and allows them to be filed for their own devious reasons. What is disquieting is the relentless way in which predators target even tiny organisations like ours whose sole purpose is to empower people.
What will happen this morning is yet to be seen, maybe nothing but that does not deflect from the reality of this new why that needs to be addressed.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 9, 2007 | two indias
remember these girls? Maybe not as our memories are short, and images get blurred or overtaken by others ones, particularly when the issue is not directly related to our lives.
Let me refresh your memories. these little girls are some of the children that invaded the privacy of our homes some months back as we all watched in temporary horror the plight of the 50 0dd girls who had been mercilessly abused by their holy caretaker.
For some time they made news till another horrific incident pushed them away. They made news till the administrative and judicial took over and locked them in another structure protected by impregnable walls. For some time we tried to keep their memory alive by trying to create a net support group but that too lost its drive as the girls seemed lost in some forbidden fortress.
One could not and did not give up. We tried relentlessly to find their whereabouts often without success till yesterday when this mail dropped in my inbox. It came from Anchal the young reporter who had broken the story:
hi there..
long time..
just got back from bareilly.. leaving for mathura tommorrow..
the girls have been shifted to mathura, bareilly, lucknow and meerut.. to the suitable? homes..
GOOD THINGS:
the girls are much better off..
no exploitation or abuse..
regular doctor..
loving and caring caretaker.. not all of them are very sensitive.. harmless though..
are taught dancing.. singing..
PROBLEMS:
[1] the standard se for homes is just not good enough..
[2] no education facility..
[3] our effort should be to cure them.. no effort in that direction..
[4] they need better beds.. even in the berilly home they sleep on the wooden cot..
[5] they are kept clean but better toilets desperately needed..
[6] they are never taken out… authorities fear that they might run off and put them in trouble.. they don’t have a proper vehicle and security..
met NHRC and lawyers today..
it would be great if we can mobilise people and motivate them to donate..
would be filing a complete story soon.. in about a day or two.. will let u know.. catch it.. will do it right before the next SC hearing.. shd.. do the mobilising then.. for larger impact..
here’s my number: 9873139409..
13 girls in: nari–niketan.. bareilly..
27 in mathura..
some in kids in lucknow..
and are getting primary education.
the swami is stil in jail
I think it is time we wake up and do something. It is not a matter of charity but a way to redeem ourselves in our own eyes!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 7, 2007 | Uncategorized
Today was a special treat. A visit to Utpal’s school. Rishi was kind enough to set aside the rules to allow Xavier, Utpal’s cyberDad, a few stolen moments with the one he calls pepere in spite of the fact that school examinations were on.
It was a warm afternoon just tempered by a cool wind. We reached the school at 4pm shortly after the mandatory afternoon nap. We sat quietly in the Directors room though our hearts were beating a tad faster as we held back the question we were dying to ask : where is Utpal?
A few moments later a quit knock of the forbidding door and our little fellow appeared squeaky clean, in his track suit his hair well oiled and combed to a T. We sat in silence as he tiptoed in and stood near us. To Xavier’s how are you Utpal echoed a confident fine thank you Sir. Then after some time Utpal sought Rishi’s permission to show Javire the school, and off we went dying to be in a spot where we could finally hug him.
After a while Xavier fished out a little key chain with an Eiffel Tower and gave it to him. Utpal kept it in his hand as we ambled around the school. Then it was time to leave. In a quiet voice Utpal said: can I have another mandir (temple) for my friend?
It took us a minute to realise that the mandir he was referring to was the Eiffel Tower? He got one and walked away, without looking back as I wiped a silent tear from the corner of my eye.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 6, 2007 | Uncategorized
Once again, on a fine morning the students and staff of pwhy were greeted by a gaping hole in the wall of our Okhla centre. This is not the first time and probably not the last. Wonder who did it, some drunken lads for a bit of fun or some mischief maker. Who knows, and come to think about it who cares..
The Okhla lot are used to such acts and what caused anger and hurt at one time has almost become a game. No mason or expert is needed. The morning after the incident students carefully pick all the bricks and keep them safely inside the classroom. A call is made to the office to get the required amount of cement and the kids get down to the task of repairing the damage while onlookers watch them and perhaps amongst them those who committed the misdeed.
My heart fills with pride as I watch the kids at work as more than anything taught in books, they have learnt a great lesson in life: not to be deterred by acts committed by cowards.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 5, 2007 | two indias
Two deaths were reported in the press yesterday: one on the front page and the other in an inside one. Both were heinous crimes. Both stemmed out of some unfathomable quirk of the mind.
In one a ‘servant’ had simply killed a young boy and an old relative of the house he had worked in for 5 years for a few pennies. In the other a woman had hit her girl servant with a laundry bat resulting in her death.
These two incidents could be dismissed with the usual fleeting moment of sympathy or stupefaction and that is what most would have done. However if one dwells on them for some time, one realises that these extreme actions could well stem out of the endemic mistrust that is more and more prevalent between what I often refer to as the two Indias.
Over the years I have witnessed the rising contempt with which people who work for you are treated. A series of sad incidents have resulted in campaigns aimed at branding all house workers as probable suspects to be verified by the police. Often this leads to sweeping remarks about the origins of such people as is heard in the: I never employ someone from Bihar, Bengal or whatever else, in many a coffee mornings.
I myself shudder when pwhy kids refer to their pals as Biharis and cannot hide my smile when I retort : I too am a Bihari!
Coming back to the two incidents one may let one’s mind wander and imagine possible scenarios. In case 1 the 5 year old servant is said to have killed for money. Wonder whether he had asked for a loan and been rebuffed, or wonder whether he had been verbally abused or ill treated. In case 2 one can also ask one’s self what the young girl did to provoke such rage; did she burn an expensive outfit, or leave stains on a garment she had washed. To take the matter further one can ask whether the reactions would have been the same if the two protagonists had belonged to the same side of the fence: had the daughter burnt the garment or the son asked for a loan?
Justice will have to take its course and I hope that it will be as severe in both cases. But what is more important is to try and see why such incidents occur and to try and find long term solutions that are equitable. Branding all of one side of the fence will just lead to widening an already cavernous gap between the two Indias. We need to build bridges of trust and understanding, to share a little of what one has in plenty as only then will our morrows be safe.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 4, 2007 | Uncategorized
In trying to explain the significance of holi to my foreign son-in-law I found myself searching the net as my knowlede did not go beyond the Prahlad-Hollika story. On this site, I read the follwoing: Originally the festival was primarily for the Shudras who were otherwise not allowed to participate in festivals. In ancient India too, this festival was celebrated as a day when people forgot caste and gender differences and were allowed many liberties, otherwise forbidden.
I do have vague memories of my childhood in my grandfather’s home when on that day those who worked in the house joined everyone in the lawns where holi was celebrated with great gusto. Flowers had been soaked overnight to provide a wonderful yellow brew, and colours were natural, sweets had been made at home too and many sherbets cooled in earthen pots. Some were forbidden to us ; guess they were the ones laced with bhang.
Then Holi became a day one dreaded as chemical colors, and all the filth imaginable were hurled at you even days before the festival. Like most festivals, the essence was forgotten.
I was glad to reconnect with the meaning of the festival and was happy to see that the little band that played holi in my garden reflected just that essence as all the Indias not to say the world were united in fun and spirit.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 4, 2007 | two indias
My meat seller and I go a long way, more than 30 years I guess! He is a gentle Muslim who runs a tiny shop in a close by market. Over the years much has changed and many shopkeepers have spruced up their shops bu not Salim whose establishment takes me back three decades as I walk into it. Spotlessly clean, with many sayings from the Holy Koran displayed in garish frames, the meat neatly displayed and the large wooden blocks on which he and his son transform the meat into the cuts you want. The same smile greets you each time you enter except when you get the cold snub which the now initiated old clients know as translating into: the meat is not good enough for you today, as you quietly beat a hasty retreat.
I have always enjoyed the few moments spent in this tiny shop, where time seems to have stopped long ago and forgotten values still hold high.
Holi is a festival when in North India many cook a meat dish that goes well with all the intoxicants consumed. So yesterday was busy time at my Friend Salim’s shop. Many ladies in bright clothes, a handful or servants from rich homes and innumerable phone calls with orders rapidly written on a tiny note pad.
As i waited my turn, I him if we was opened the next day which was Holi. he looked at me with a smile and said yes we are, as today it will be all the high clas people that buy their met but tomorrow we will be catering to the poor.
Yes everyone eats meat on Holi, but for those who have no refrigerators and who actually do not know how much would be left when the colours for the children have been bought, and the hooch of the day consumed. Salim keeps his shop open so that everyone can have a feat, albeit a tiny one!
Happy Holi!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 2, 2007 | two indias
On the day when millions of young Indians set out to write their class XII Board examinations, a TV channel aired the story of Samant Singh Rao, once a part time lecturer in Panna (Madhya Pradesh) and a proud recipient of two masters degree. A series of misfortunes led to his losing his job.
Armed with his degrees got after much toil, this son of a poor farmer set out to India’s capital city, confident that his education would get him a job. After a long search all he managed was to get a cycle rickshaw he now plies in the university area, and eeks a few thousand precious rupees that barely feed his two children back home. And to save his money, he simply sleeps on his rickshaw at night.
Samant Singh Rao is a living example of the of our state our education system where on the one hand education is branded as a panacea to all ills, while on the other useless degrees are handed out to unsuspecting candidates.
Samant Singh Rao has two Masters degree, one in history and the other in political science, and yet they seem to be useless in his quest to get a job. He is still holding on to his dreams, and maybe as a result of his brief appearance on TV someone may reach out to him. But what about all the others who clutch such degrees and wander the streets looking for employment.
We have had many come our way, and though they had the coveted piece of paper, they were often unable to pass the simple test we give any prospective teacher. And each time I come by a Samant Singh Rao, I feel terribly sad. I can imagine the hopes pinned on this child by parents who must have worked hard to ensure that their child gets an education, and can almost sense the pride they must have felt when the child succeeded in one exam after the other. And yet at the end of the day they it seems like a long journey to nowhere, almost an absurd play that Brecht could have written.
Third rate education is an impediment as often there is no going back to where you came from. Somehow the years spent learning have robbed of the right to revert to where you began. Expectations remain high and somehow it almost becomes a matter of honour. I wonder if Samant’s family know how the money the postman brings is earned.
Just this morning, as I drove to work, a police tow van was towing away two cycle rickshaws, and the two owners ran behind the van pleading for mercy. I believe that some ply without licenses and that is considered illegal. I also wondered whether any of the two had a heart rendering story to share.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 1, 2007 | two indias
The main objective project why set out to achieve 7 years ago was to contain the alarming dropout rates in India’s capital city. Around 70 % of all school going children drop out and most dropout before class VI.
We can say with a certain amount of justified pride that for the past 7 years no pwhy child has dropped out and that last year both Manisha and Farzana crossed the 80% mark in their Xth Boards exams, one must add that Farzana had failed her class VII three times!
Our modus operandi is simply to help the child after school hours with locally recruited ‘teachers’ none of whom have the required certificates. However what they have in abundance is commitment and patience.
Yesterday Budget 2007 was revealed with its plethora of social programmes. We all welcome the fact that the Finance minister has recognised that the number school dropouts is high however his progarmme to contain these numbers seems a little lopsided. The National Means-cum-Merit scholarship ( class IX and above) seems to rest on the premise that underprivileged children with often illeterate parents manage somehow to reach class IX.
The reality is quite different. Most children drop out well before that class, actually by class VI and this is often not because they lack the ability to do so, but because of a variety of factors that can easily be redressed. A 70% attendance ensures that you move on from class to class till class V. We have seen children who are in class IV or V barely read or write. Another reason for poor performance is the abysmally low pass percentage (33%) as it instills mediocrity in a child who is never asked to perform beyond that figure. There are many such reasons many of which can be corrected without much fanfare.
Sadly when the government decided to hold teachers responsible for performance, instead of improvement in teaching one saw teachers dictating answers to kids during in house examinations. Needless to say the results were excellent while the children in question remain as, if not more ignorant.
My detractors would again ask me to stop harping and find solutions. My answer is that 7 years of producing a 100% result vindicates me sufficiently. And if we at pwhy with our limited and local resource can mange this, then anyone could.
To arrest drop out rates one has to start at the bottom and ensure good teaching in primary schools and realise that in municipal schools where most of the por kids go, teachers cannot expect any support from the parents. The only way parents deal with poor performance is by beating the child and hurling some misplaced abuses or recrimination. But how can one expect this 7 or 8 year old to learn on his own!
A staff member pointed out that in a city where the same building houses two seperate schools (morning = girls; afternoon = boys) teachers and other staff members worked only a half day while they were paid the same amount as a full day worker. Maybe one solution would be to find a way in whcih the other half day could be used in helping weaker children. We all know that many such teachers run very lucrative coaching classes in their free half day!
The scholarship scheme proposed by the Finance Minister aims at giving 100 000 scholarships a year. This is a drop in the ocean of children just about to dropout. And then knowing how the system works, I wonder how many wil be truly deserving candidates, and what the selection procedure will be.
Simple measures like strengthening primary education by reinforcing and improving existing schools is what will contain dropout rates in a more equitable way.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 1, 2007 | girl child
I have never understood the intricacies of economics and figures, inflation and GDP or all such terms. During college time budget day was one when one waited to find out whether cigarettes would cost more. Not that one gave up smoking, one just adjusted things and I guess unconsciously made our own yearly budget. And come to to think about it this happened with every commodity as one slowly watched petrol going from 3 rs to 4o rs or so: one just adjusts one’s life.
For many years too the budgetary allocations to social programmes did not mean much bar the fact that one felt that they were needed and welcomed them with a nod of approval: midday meals for school kids, education for all, jobs for all: it felt comfortable and appeased one’s conscience as one felt something was happening.
It is only in recent years when I descended from a comfortable ivory tower that I faced a reality check. The Utopian midday meal became a real inedible offering, the superlative SC girl child programmes turned out to be a catch 22 game, and primary education a transit of many years in a insalubrious school before you dropped out. And yet on paper all these schemes seemed to right.
So yesterday as the new budget unfolded and new social schemes were revealed I was glad that many voiced what I silently thought: will these reach the beneficiary or be fodder for more hungry officials as the mind boggling administrative requirements will fly right over the true beneficiary.
Come to think of it we only have one year to make all this happen as on 28 February 2008 a new budget with new schemes will be presented. And this game will carry on till the day civil society does not come to the fore and ask for accounts! Last year we got a tool to do just that: RTI Act and some of taken on the formidable task to bring this act to the people. We as voters and tax payers need to demand accounts for every penny spent. A commentator mentioned a past Prime Minister stating the sad reality that of every rupee allocated only 16 paise reached the beneficiary.
As long as we remained silent spectator or armchair critics nothing will change. There are excellent schemes in existence and should they be allowed percolate down to the right beneficiary a tangible change would come about. The true beneficiary cannot turn whistle blower: he is often totally unaware of the scheme itself let alone the way to seek redressal. he will continue making his budgetary adjustments . The government will continue making yearly social schemes as they make good copy for electoral speeches, and we will remain in our obstinate silence and inertia, emerging out of it for brief moments when we feel the issue may directly touch us.
Yes we all want a shining India but how can it shine when a large chunk of it survives in darkness. Unfortunately it cannot be wished away. We need to be the whistle blowers; each one of us, asking accounts for the money spent as it is our own!
Last week a friend who was organising a workshop on disability asked a senior government official how a person without papers got a disability certificate; the answer was predictable: ma’am everyone in Delhi has a ration card.
No Mister, that is not true, there are many who do not and getting one is quasi impossible and yet they are handicapped and the ones who really need access to your programmes!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 28, 2007 | utpal
There have been many rewarding moments at pwhy, but yesterday was a very special one.
I looked for quotes to begin this post and found two by unknown writers:
” God to whom little boys say their prayers has a face very like their mother’s”
“Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me.”
Almost a year back I had to take the heartbreaking decision of separating a mother from her a child. I did as it was a step towards bringing together once again a little family that life had blown apart. The mother went into rehab and the little boy just 4 to a boarding school. Months went by and one healed slowly while the other carved himself a place in an alien world. A month from now they will be reunited for two weeks.
Uptal is what he is, because even in her darkest and most sordid hour, his mom never stopped loving him and I do not know why but I feel that it his her face that comes to him in his daily prayers. Only he was able to see her true worth passed the flaws that she did not hide.
Yesterday I went to see her in the idyllic surroundings where she now lives as she slowly makes her way into a new life. It was a joy to see her smile and to watch her long lost daughter finally rediscovering an almost forgotten mother.
It was a special moment as not many had really understood why it was so important for me to help Jhunnu turn a new leaf. Even if I were not to succeed I wanted him to know at a time when I may not have been around that I did give it my very best. I guess that in her most sordid moments only Utpal and I saw her flaws as a gift and never gave up. We have a long way to go and she is is very fragile but somehow yesterday I truly felt that we were out of the woods.
One day, I my dream comes true the little family will be reunited and strong. I just pray that I live to see the day.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 28, 2007 | girl child, two indias
There is a little girl named Yashaswini! you can spot her in the front of this picture. She belongs to the side of the fence where everything works in your favour. She has smart educated parents, a place in a good school and everything a child needs to grow.
Saturday was a 4th birthday and she celebrated like she does every year with her very special friends: the special section of pwhy. Shalini and Manu, Umesh and Anuraag, Ruchi and Preeti and all the others. Some are over 20, others more her age but they are all different in some way or the other. Some cannot hear, others cannot talk, some can barely walk but come rain or storm they are all there with her every year.
Her mom decided some years back to give her a b’day with a difference. A day out at Delhi Haath with this motley group of children. It is time for a a ride to the place, a treat of their choice, a birthday cake and even a return gift. And then time to play like all kids do, before saying bye and see you next year.
Every one is dressed to a T though to the uninitiated it may not look to be. Even Manu who never wears shoes has donned a brand new pair. And they have played by the rules as they did not forget their gift: a nice cardboard house made by Rinky on which everyone signed!
I do not know what made Yashu‘s mom decide to bring the two Indias together for her child’s birthday but I salute her for that as I know that it is maybe one of the greatest gift she gave her child.
As they played blindman’s bluff all differences are forgotten; they are just what they are children having fun, never mind if some of them had to wait scores of years to reclaim their right to be a child.
This is a very precious moment, and only the very privileged can see its true meaning!
Happy Birthday Yashu!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 27, 2007 | girl child, two indias
Yesterday a news item caught my attention in more ways than one. A Bombay couple had challenged the high court on the ban on gender choice. They wanted to chose the sex of their third child needless to see they wanted a boy.
According to this educated couple: In their opinion to have a male child in India is better, as they say the country is not socially or economically ready to accept a female child.
The same item reminded sotto voce that 2500 girl foetuses are aborted every day! This case raises a plethora of questions and may have far reaching consequences. It is not just one isolated case that concerns a well to do family with two daughters but one in which the respondents to the petitioner are all the unborn girls of India.
A wrong decision in this case may increase by quantum leaps the 2500 foetuses that die everyday. That the petition should come from an educated family is even more disquieting as it cuts the sails out of the uphill and often impossible task of trying to convince the larger population of the importance of the girl child in any society.
Furthermore a wrong cannot be made right just by numbers and absurd equations: you can chose the sex if you have one, two or x amount of daughters. It is evident that for that family getting the right sex entails taking on a formidable adversary – nature – and may result in killing many a girl foetus on the way.
Maybe the couple in question also forgot that their chosen child will one day need a wife! It is true that even among the well endowed a daughter-in-law is looked down upon if she cannot produce that male child, but one would expect young educated couples to be able rise above this. The fact that this couple chose to seek legal absolution for such a dastardly act is even more chilling.
I hope the court takes all this into consideration and pronounces a judgement that will once for all protect the already precarious condition of the girl child in India.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 25, 2007 | two indias
The last few posts have been grim and even seething so it was time for a breath of fresh air. I found myself humming a song of yore years that sprung from the recesses of my mind. Its just another day in paradise, said the refrain. And if my memory does not fail me the paradise in question was dotted with pizzas, kids screaming and phones rigging.
I let myself be carried by the mood of the song and slowly the day gone by at pwhy seemed just that kind of paradise which just like the song writer I wouldn’t trade for anything.
The morning began just like many others with the customary Namaste ma’am or good morning ma’am that have become so much part of my life that I had lost the ability of savouring. If one was shouted by a simple minded girl, the other was barely whispered by a child with severe behaviour problems; if one was accompanied by a tug at my shirt the other was said with eyes firmly fixed on the ground; and if one was shouted by a deaf girl another was murmured by a spastic child. This beautiful and unique chorus was performed on cue as I climbed up the stairs to my office on the rooftop.
As one settled in the office, on cue again came the hot cup of tea made by Amma and that brought to my mind the struggle it had been to do away with caste and creed problems over the years. Then slowly the motley pwhy crew made the climb to the top to mark their attendance, some heaved and sighed and got my normal: you should exercise a little. One after the other irrespective they came by silent witnesses of the long road travelled to weave together this incredible pattern that reflected India’s true essence. We had nomads and tribals, the lowest and the highest caste, all creeds and ages held together by the pwhy dream.
As each set out to their posts, someone remembered that the water heating rod had to be set for Manu’s bath before the daily power cut: yes the very Manu who only a few years back roamed the streets unkempt and dirty in search of food. And today was special as all the kids of Manu’s class were off to Delhi hath to celebrate the birthday of a 4 year old who since she was 1 celebrated them with these very blessed kids.
They day had begun in earnest. Someone remembered that a TV crew was dropping by to interview little Deepak’s family, yes the very Deepak whose heart was now fixed, reminding me of the laudable fact that 11 such kids had dropped by our planet.
From the ground floor came the sounds of the creche babies singing their morning wake up songs, and the hustle and bustle around me bore witness to the simple fact that a perfect paradisaical day had begun.
It was only 10 am.
The next hour saw the special kids set off in the two hired vehicles, the TV crew appear and be whisked away to Deepak’s home. Time to catch another cup of tea and plan the rest of the day. A visit to all the centres, nine in number now, a search for a room for Manoj’s mom not to forget the table that had to be yanked up all the way to the top floor as it could not go through the staircase…
Yes it truly was just another day in paradise, one that I would not trade for anything…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 23, 2007 | girl child
When you think you have seen it all, and feel smug in the false notion that you have created the required roadmaps, in a land where women are dispensable you are least prepared for Act II of what you believed was a one Act play with a doable denouement!
Yesterday I watched little Manoj dance and even gave my self a tiny pat in the back as memories of him flashed in my mind. A phone call brought me back to reality as I was told that Manoj’s mom 7 months into a unwanted pregnancy had landed at home with a swollen face and broken lip. The abuser was none other than her husband.
An article I recently read caught my attention as the author stated: 0ften a girl is brainwashed from infancy.. and I guess she is right, but there comes a moment when all the brainwashing and conditioning pales under the ignobility of the abuse suffered. That day the battering of her over abused body was the last straw, and the tears that welled Manoj’s mom’s sunken and anemic eyes were ones of anger and rage.
The story withheld till now poured out in chilling words, and that story was not just hers but the story of many women in India. She was barely 16, when she was married to this man, by a widowed mother who had the use of only one arm and three younger children to bring up. She had no option but to agree to the road map set for her. The rest is predictable a child before she attains the age of 17, an alcoholic man who is more abuser than husband or father. A weak child who can barely walk or stand at 2, and an unwanted pregnancy that she is forbidden to abort by the one who owns her body and soul all this laced with brutal beatings that dot her life with obsessive regularity. Days where she and her child go hungry, when rent being not paid lead to changing rooms constantly till you find yourself in an airless hole. No home to go back to, no family no friends.
You get a job and you work with a smile so genuine that even the most sensitive does not see your pain. You hide the unwanted pregnancy from fear of losing your job till it shows and you are exposed! You still try and whitewash the abuser as you have been conditioned to do but then all that was possible when there was no love and support around you. But when you see someone is listening your crushed spirit hidden in the deep recesses of your soul decides to break all the carefully built walls and set itself free.
However what are your options in a land where a single woman let alone a single parent is anathema. Where with a small child an an unborn one you have nowhere to go and are not coward enough to end your life.
Manoj’s mom is not an individual case, it is the story of many women in a land where in spite of venerating Goddesses we have forgotten the Goddess that lies in the scarred soul of each woman. And I am not talking of poor women only.
We may be able to help Manoj’s mom but the question that arises is what do you for the millions others.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 19, 2007 | girl child, two indias
My last post was a plea to ensure that existing social schemes function in this country. Imagine my utter dismay when a national daily carried an article spelling out a new initiative to fight foeticide and infanticide. This is of course after the little bones found buried near a Ratlam hospital.
The scheme aims at placing cradles in every district of India so that parents who don’t want a girl child can leave her to the care of the government. The Minister of social welfare was quoted saying: what we are saying to people is have your children but don’t kill them.. leave her to us.
I wonder how a responsible person can utter such words. The whole scheme is absurd and preposterous and would have a plethora of consequences that one cannot even begin to imagine at this moment. And I am not talking about the usual corruption and fund embezzlement.
First of all it does not address the main problem of foeticide which is the main reason for the warped sex ratio in our country. Then a scheme like this will encourage parents to abandon their baby girls even if they were in a position to rear them. We have come across families of a 9 children where the first 8 are girls! Were this scheme in place the first 8 would have been placed in the cradle.
We all know of the pathetic conditions that prevail in state run orphanages and children’s homes. Even in India’s capital city these are poorly run and overcrowded. The abandoned children are likely to suffer a worse plight than they would have in their homes. Bringing up a child requires much more than two meals a day and a bed to sleep in. A child needs love and emotional support and above all needs to be given answers about why she is in an orphanage and not with her family.
The reference by the Minister to creating a gene pool is extremely disturbing as it views these to be abandoned children as objects and not individuals. The Minister goes on to say that if the parents have a change of heart then they may take their children back, leaving the door wide open for parents to use the scheme to abdicate their duties. What is even more disquieting is that no one seems to give any importance to the psychological growth of the child who will be casted from side to side to suit the whim and fancies of irresponsible adults.
True that the figures are shocking – over 1 crore of foetuses disposed of in the last decade and a sex ratio of 821/1000 in Delhi – a solution that discards the role of the parent is inconceivable and is bound to lead to problems that may spin beyond control. The issue of the girl child has to be viewed in a different manner. She has to be reinstated as within the family and society through awareness campaigns and once again maybe by just ensuring that existing programmes are run honestly and in a realistic manner.
The government of the NCT has a programme whereby a sum of Rs 5000 is deposited in the name of a new born SC girl child to be encashed after the child has reached 18 years of age. Little Shivani is an SC child but we were unable to fill and file the required documents within the stipulated time of 90 days. However it is schemes like these that may secure a child a place in her family and not legalising washing one’s hand off them.
I will not even begin to address the social implications of such a scheme in a land where social origins are of prime importance. I will just say that a responsible government has to think about the long term consequences before shooting out absurd programmes, unless once again these are done to create one way to line greedy pockets.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 19, 2007 | Uncategorized
In my quest to get pwhy kids and heir families the required caste and OBC certificates I set about finding out the procedure set out by our government. A quick perusal of the Delhi government website is sufficient to show that the modus operandi proposed is almost impossible to meet.
For Scs and Sts whereas the application can be signed by the local elected representative, someone that can be acceded to, the remaining papers require the signature of two class I gazetted officer, something that even i would have difficulty in finding.
In case of OBCs a new para has been added which states: I certify that to the best of my knowledge and belief that i do not belong to the creamy layer of the OBC… (para 14 of application form), However no definition has been given of the creamy layer!
It does not end here. To get a handicapped certificate you need to be 40% physically handicapped and 35% mentally challenged. Wonder what happens to those who are under! And in a city where the minimum wage for unskilled labour is about 3000 rs a month, the website states : He or she should be domiciled in Delhi for more than 5 years and their monthly income should not exceeds. 400/- and if unemployed their family income should not exceed Rs.600/
I think one would be justified to say that their seems to be a concerted effort to ensure that good schemes do not reach the true beneficiary. One would be justified in thinking that if we as civil society armed with a powerful tool like the Right to Information, set out to redress torts and ensure that existing schemes functioned this country would be a better place for all!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 19, 2007 | two indias, utpal
I have often written about the ever widening gap between the two Indias and the almost apocalyptic aftermath it entails. One would be justified in asking whether ways exist to bridge this frightening chasm.
When pwhy began and I set out crafting it I knew intuitively that if it were to make a difference and have a spati-temporal dimension one would have to shun all government and institutional and impersonal funding and support. I realise today is hindsight that it was a yet unformulated but real step towards bridging this gap. When one decided to use only local resources be it staff or space it was one more step in that direction. When one insisted on holding on to the one rupee a day in spite of numerous false starts it was because that was another way to bring the two Indias together.
When I look at the long list of supporters I feel a sense of pride to see that so many have reached out and been there. Most of the people mentioned on that page have never met me or come to pwhy, yet they are an integral part of this effort and have helped change many lives and brighten many morrows. However a tinge of regret mars my elation as there are so few from my city and peers. Most of those who are there live far away from their motherland and yet their heart beats for her.
One may wonder why those just around the corner do not feel it necessary to reach out is a question that has disturbed me as the obvious solution was to have them come forward as they could come and vindicate our plea by just dropping by. Nevertheless now for more than 7 years many have in their own way brought the two Indias together and that is a fact to be lauded.
There are many ways to try and bridge the widening gap: like Amit you could donate blood little Nanhe, like Tima you could take some time off from coffee mornings and spend them teaching underprivileged children, like Mansi could motivate your staff to come and share some of their skills with such kids, like Rishi you could accept to take on little Utpal in your swank school and ensure he becomes an integral part of it, like Monica you could lend your professional skills, and like Malavika you could send your monthly contribution without being reminded, like Kim spend time at pwhy and write about our effort or like Sonia lend us the much needed media support to expose abusers and highlight wrong doings.
These steps may look inconsequential but they help us carry on and reach out to children abandoned by all. There are many ways of bringing the two Indias together, provided you accept that it is something that needs to be done. One cannot wish away the other India because it stands at our doorstep and no amount of money can meet their ever growing presence and new found dreams. Their patience will run out if we continue treating them the way we do and forget the indubitable fact that they are protected by the same constitution and laws than us and no second grade citizens to whom we can throw second hand goods, be it education, health or habitat.
