by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 7, 2007 | Uncategorized
There was a time not so long ago, when we waited with bated breath for march 31st. That was the day results were declared in both primary and secondary municipal schools.
As mark-sheets landed on our desk and children dropped by with sweetmeats, our excitement grew till the moment we had all the results and reached the magic 100% figure.
As we had the much awaited confirmation, I remember setting out to write e-mails to all our friends and supporters – I was not a blogger then – to share that great moment. Then like always we turned a tad blasé and sunk in our comfort zones as 100% seemed the rule and not the exception.
What stood out the was whether any one had topped her or his class. Slowly even that became almost routine. A tiny sentence in a blog post market the achievement.
31 march 2007 came and went and so did the first week of April. As teachers dropped by the office we one again got confirmation of a 100% result and our handful of toppers!
It has been 7 years since we set this trend, 7 years when children have not dropped out but passed with honourable marks. The 400 school going children may seem a drop in the ocean in this city where over 100 000 children do not attend school, but what makes our achievement laudable is the fact that we have managed this result with untrained teachers drawn from the community itself. This in other words means that with a little bit of help a community can be empowered to take over their children’s education and contain the staggering drop out rates.
A quick perusal of our classrooms proves that not much is needed to run classes: a steer corner, an open space, some shade and a committed ‘teacher’ is all one needs. Our true achievement is of having elaborated and validated a model that works.
Now it is time to transfer power slowly and to taken the role on advisor, consultant, mentor..
Another statistics we looked at come April was the new school admissions. Not so much the little children who left our early education programme make their way to class I, but those who were not in school or had dropped out. It has been our effort to help such children integrate mainstream schooling in a class as close to their age as possible. This year again a large number of children will be mainstreamed and will thus enjoy their constitutional right to Education.
The above statistics are important to project why as they validate our core mission: to ensure that children integrate and remain in school. I know that some of our friends may feel we sometimes seem to be diluting our programmes, but that is not so. We have always remained true to our essential mission, it is just that our little team has become empowered enough to handle what once took most of our time, enabling us to reach out to larger issues as these too will affect the lives of the children we teach.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 6, 2007 | Uncategorized
The municipal elections are over.. They were less noisy and almost poster free but candidates did make their presence felt in novel ways: loads of street ambulations that looked like marriage parties where the well garlanded candidates paraded as grooms (never mind the gray hair and pot bellies) led by a rowdy group of hired supporters and drum beats. Their eager henchmen preceded them rapidly shoving garlands in the hands of by standers asking them to do the needful as the hero of the moment crosses their way.
What was different this time was the staggering number of independent candidates with amusing election symbols: over and above the well known hand, lotus ad elephant we had an aeroplane, a cup-saucer, a candle, a house, an locomotive, a banana, a mango, a book, a broom and more. Notwithstanding the use of EVMs, the supporters shouted: put your stamp on ..
The multiplicity of candidates and the well known time laxity in our land made many parties come face to face in the tiny lanes and often lead to arguments and fist fights, in one case even gunfire!
I was happy to see that even simple people found this aggressive and bombastic electioneering an insult to their intelligence. They just played on.. knowing that they would cast their vote for who they wanted. They were the ones who were quick to tell me the not so glorious antecedents which seems to be a common factor for everyone of them.
On election day however many hopes were shattered as for those who did not have voter’s ID cards the options allowed by the Election commission once again divided India: PAN cards, driving licences or passports were ID’s that would allow you to vote, whereas ration cards were disallowed. So those living in slums and whose name appeared on the electoral rolls could not vote as they did not have the required ID proof as they often do not drive cars, pay taxes or travel outside India!
Election day saw money exchanging hands and the presence of liquor was evident in the sway of many people as the day passed..
A friend called saying that she questioned the validity of electoral promises which seem to state the obvious as were not municipalities meant to provide citizens with water, electricity and a clean environment?
There was a small feeling of satisfaction as the “none of the above” option was included. I remembered the fight it had been to excercise the “refuse to vote” option some years back.
We indeed had come a long way.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 5, 2007 | Uncategorized
Manu, a young physically and mentally challenged young man lived on the street, neglected, dirty and soiled. People would feed him but like you feed an animal. Children threw stones at him. His family abused him in all conceivable ways. No one touched him, when things became too much he would let out the most heart wrenching cries.
We knew we had to do something and after exploring all options we realised we had to give him back his dignity within his community. To do this, we had to gain the confidence of the community and that is why we opened our centre. We looked after Manu, cleaned him, found him a place to sleep and slowly began to get to know him, love him and discover his humane qualities. Slowly he learned to look after himself, to eat with a spoon and to spend time in the centre and even participated in vocational activities. And as days went by, not only we, but the very people who had shunned him began to discover Manu.
These words appeared on our website way back in 2001. I looked through the thousands of pictures that document project for a photograph of Manu’s as he was then and find none. Somehow it felt wrong to snap such despair, no one had the right to do so.
Today Manu is an integral part of our special section where he has his pals. He participates in all activities be it cooking or classroom work; he loves dancing and has reclaimed the right to assert his likes and dislikes, like any one of us.
We had come a long way but we still needed to establish his social identity and give him his civic rights. Has family of course had abandoned him, denying him even his right share after his father’s demise. Getting him one seemed an impossible catch 22 situation: to get a handicap certificate you need a ration card, to get a ration card you need a permanent address and so on.
But there was one thing we could get him: a bank account under the guardianship of our organisation. So yesterday Manu had his first ID picture taken. What a huge moment it was for all of us as he set out to get that picture taken.
In the course of the week we will open his account. Even I who have is by now a firm believer in miracles feel a little dizzy as I look back at the road Manu has travelled.
PS: unfortunately by the time we got to the bank the rules had changed and our letter did not suffice and Manu’s account could not be opened.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 3, 2007 | Uncategorized
This is where planet why will be one day….believe it or not this place is in Delhi!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 2, 2007 | Uncategorized
At my advanced age one does not celebrate birthdays or expect gifts. Yet this year I decided to mark my double five by unabashedly asking for a present from my crew even using the power of being captain of the ship!
I must confess that it is part of a game plan I have had for long. When the project why journey began, I had a dream: that of seeing each member of team project why one day at the helm of their individual programmes. however each time i suggested this, i was met with a salvo of: how can we? we are not capable? etc. It was to be expected as just like the children, they too suffered from a brand of poor self esteem that was almost debilitating and made them incapable all they had achieved in the past years.
So last Saturday I reminded them that it was my birthday in a few days and that I wanted a gift from each one of them. I was amused as I took time in stating the nature of the gift and watched their eager and perplexed faces. I think no one expected what came next: for my birthday I want each one of you to write a paragraph about what you have achieved in the last 5 years that I can be proud of. i want each one of you to tell me why you should be admired..
Stunned silence followed my words and before the usual No’s would land on my ears, I added that there was no discussion and added the right dose of emotional blackmail as i said that I would be hurt if someone did not do what i said as this was the first time I had actually asked for something.
I wait with bated breath for what will land on my lap on Wednesday and will share it with everyone. For me it is a way of proving to this incredible lot that they are capable of taking my dream forward!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 31, 2007 | Uncategorized
The supreme court order staying the OBC reservation issue has leashed out a series of reactions across the land. This time I kept my pend in check waiting before adding my two penny bit.
Last summer was one of discontent as many young students took to the streets to protest: each each side having its protagonists. Students sat on hunger strike, gandhigiri made the journey from screen to street. No one really heard as the powers that be huddled together and got what they wanted or so they thought.
Institutional heads were roped in and some wishy-washy formula was evolved. Quietly petitions were filed in the highest court but the hubris was such that it would even take on the Gods!
Then came the supreme court stay order, a rude wake up call that sent everyone into a flurry. bandhs were called, protests abounded a new cause was found to defend setting the dreaded caste and social divide into motion. Passionate debates were aired on TV and strangely every voice of reason was shouted down by those with extreme positions.
As if no one wanted to find a solution. A retired Professor echoed my thoughts as I tried desperately but in vain to highlight the sad reality about the abysmal state of primary schools. His effort to steer the debate in that direction was countered by a venomous retort branding him as an enemy, validating the point that I have often made about the conscious effort of the powers that be to ensure that a large segment of the population remain illiterate and hence a vote bank easily manipulated.
As the debate carried on one realised that no one was actually interested in the plight of the little Ramus and Jyotis who may have been born in the right caste but who will remain illiterate and whose only hope will be little efforts like project why that ensure that they do not drop out of the gaping holes of the education net.
Last week I went to the Greater Kailash outlet of Cafe Coffee Day. To my utmost surprise a beaming young man in his smart red uniform came to my table and said: Ma’am don’t you recognise me, I am Shiv and was a student at project why! I was taken aback as I remembered him 5 years ago still a shy adolescent who barely spoke.
I must say he was not standing at the portals of an IIT or IIM, but somehow he had stepped on the other side of the fence on his own merit, without reservation with just a little help because someone had believed in him.
The reservation issue will never die as no one will allow it to. It is to good a cause for politicians and for what is now known as the creamy layer. For those who barely survive nothing will change; no one wants it to.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 30, 2007 | Uncategorized
Seven years ago we set out to create a model whereby underprivileged and illiterate or semi-literate parents could be empowered to steer the educational needs of their children with local resources.
The model proved doable as in the last 7 years drop out rates were contained and children passed their examinations with success. We used local talent and proved that teaching could be done anywhere and did not require structures. The only factor that remains to be proved is that of having the staff initiate funding modalities and this necessitates a phased withdrawal on our part. That is where we stand now and will soon have a model to share.
Were that to happen, then phase I of pwhy would come to a logical closure compelling us to move on to phase II. Whereas a set of precise goals steered phase I, it would be unwise to think that they same can apply to phase II.
Many factors have to be taken into consideration to launch phase II: some are beyond our control as the new habitat and town planning realities, some emanate from our past experience and some are guided by our desire to see pwhy live beyond individuals.
The idea to seed planet why in a rural outskirt answers the first concern, the need of a residential facility, albeit a tiny one, stems out of the handful of persons that have come into our lives and the resolve to address the sustainability option form day one of phase II is the logical outcome of the precarious and fragile nature of our funding ways which have been resting on individual skills and individual state of minds.
So whereas we could begin working with the children and the community of Goyla immediately and without much requirements, we have chosen not to and instead find a way to ensure a permanent source of funds from day one.
The cusco model was one we found eminently doable in the present scenario as there is a paucity of pleasant guest house facilities in Delhi and the ever increasing desire of tourists to pair voluntary work with sight seeing to get a real feel of the country makes us believe that our concept can work not only in Goyla, but elsewhere to making this model a replicable one too!
So it seems to be a win-win situation. However it will need all our friends and well wishers to once again open their hearts and help us get going!
Ever since we have started sharing this exciting idea, we have been overwhelmed by the positive response we have got. A friend from China says it all in these words:
When I read about the guest house and the new location near the airport, I just think it’s wonderful. Imagine if we can draw transit passengers from over the world to drop by the planet.. And the thought of children showing how proud they are to be of service and showcasing the planet and India, the jubilation’s beyond description
We second that!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 29, 2007 | utpal
When a package enclosing two healing stones marked ‘hope’ and ‘believe’ landed on my table after travelling an incredible 12 000 km all the way from Ontario, I knew something huge was about to happen in the existence of project why.
The stones were actually meant for Utpal to be in my custody till he graduated from grade and high school, but somehow for the very first time I did not feel guilty when I unabashedly asked my friend North whether i could keep them. Needless to say she agreed.
I must confess that at that time I was confused and worried about the future of project why as one was faced with the indubitable reality of a metro line looming large and heralding the relocation of the slums we work in, and the bleak future of the handful of children of a lesser God whose only hope lay in our hands.
I usually do not sink into despair but I was close to that as one also knew that some supporters were also tiring of the comfort zone we seemed to be sinking into. The sight of those two stones somehow lifted me to a new high and I found myself planning the impossible: planet why. Nothing seemed to large, or to big. It just seemed to be the obvious way to go.
In just under a week a plan had been formulated and friends sounded and the response was amazing. As I write these words a piece of land has been identified and the initial budget is being worked on and I know that planet why is on the way to becoming a reality.
It will be known as planet why – hope and believe!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 27, 2007 | two indias
Many things have been happening at pwhy and some of them point towards the indubitable yet maybe invisible reality that Chapter I of pwhy is slowly coming to a close. Most of the slums we work will eventually be relocated as metro lines extend and the dream of some becomes the doom of the other.
India is all about macro and micro realities and in order to make substantial and meaningful change it becomes imperative to address both sides of the coin. What began 7 years ago as an honest effort to empower underprivileged communities to take charge of the education of their children, has met with a fair amount of success.
A viable model was mooted, and tested successfully as drop out rates were contained 100% and the model steered by local efforts. The only element that did not quite meet the set target was sustainability as till date we could not truly seed the one rupee a day programme.
This has led me to believe that maybe the way to see it seed is to actually withdraw much of the spoon feeding and slowly position ourselves as a consultant/advisory entity. Then it will be a do or die and once again if out of all the various elements that form pwhy one emerges a winner we will be satisfied. A little radical I know but nevertheless necessary.
That is the macro level.
But the past seven years has also brought the micro level into our lives be it children needing surgery, children having no future, single mothers at the fringe of giving up and children and young adults with disabilities facing a bleak future.
For these creatures of a Lesser God we need to find a larger solution particularly has we have witnessed the total lack of social and administrative support which is at best inhuman (orphanages, homes for the challenged etc)
So as we slowly hand over power in the first case, we need to create a viable option for the later. That is what brings us to Chapter II of our journey in the shape of what I would like to call simply Planet Why: a small home in a rural suburb where we we would try to give a new lease of life to these souls. Moreover this home would have three or more activities: a refuge, education and empowerment for the local community and specialised vocational training.
As land cost is prohibitive, we are looking at a long lease option and have short listed two plots.
This brings me to the invariable question that is waiting to be asked: how will planet why sustain itself?
Here is my answer: we want to seed planet why in a village called Goyla, close to the airport and to Dwarka which is already on the metro line. With the imminent completion of several flyover/highway projects the place is ideal to create a guest house like the ninos hotel set up in cusco Peru entirely run by street children.
http://www.ninoshotel.com/
We are thinking of having one part of planet why as a guest house with about 6 rooms for those who do not want to transit Delhi but just have a take off point to their holiday destination. Goyla is close to the Jaipur and Agra highways. Many friends have promised us 100% occupancy.
Pwhy has taught me that nothing is impossible and no dream too large if it’s intent is honest and for the good of those no one cares for.
No matter how empowered the present community we work in gets there are always some that still need us on a long term basis: Abhishek and Rahul’s widowed mother who is constantly ill treated by her in-laws and made to live in a room that reminds us of the torture box of the Bridge of the River Kwai as she lives in a tin box on a fifth floor; Utpal’s mother who has to one day come out into the world again, Mansi and Himanshu who saw their mother hang and their father be shot in a vendetta like operation commandeered by their maternal grandparents, Babli who in spite of her open heart surgery seems to be of no interest to her family the father being too old and a gambler and a mother to busy working or seeking greener pastures, and many of our special kids who no one really wants and last but not the least Manu for whom pwhy began.
So we begin a new journey and hope you will once again be there for us..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 21, 2007 | utpal
Life is a strange and fascinating journey. It is said that when a child is born his brain has the possibility of learning anything he is taught. After that begins a selective process that mirrors the child’s environment and hence appears the choice of language, likes and dislikes and so on. many of the choices we make are either akin to those of our caretakers, others stem from our rebellious nature and are the exact opposite of what we see.
As the journey continues new choices come by and many course corrections too, but some things remain embedded in your mind even though you do not quite know why.
Many years back when I was in high school one of my teachers gave me a present: it was a copy of the Little Prince of St Exupery. At that time it was just a book that touched me but somehow I had the intuitive feeling that it was to be much more.
Life took on many turns but somehow this book never left me and I found myself going back to it at times when I needed answers to seemingly incomprehensible problems. Exactly 4 years ago when a scalded Utpal landed into my life I caught myself thinking of him as the little Prince who landed from nowhere into a lost aviator’s existence.
For the last four years Utpal and I have made a long journey as he led me to places I would have never gone to were it not for him. With him I visited many planets just like the aviator did, some nice some not so nice. From the hell hole of the life of an alkie woman in an urban slum, to the crisp and refreshing air of a quaint boarding school, from the forbidding and cold precincts of a rehab centre to the laughter and hope filled surroundings of an a idyllic sanctuary, via toy shops with the best deals, and sinful fast food joints.
Like the Little Prince of St Exupery, I too encountered rares species: some funny, some sordid and some filled with hope and came across realities that my half a century on this planet had not prepared me for. I was faced with many challenges, some seemingly insurmountable but his little hand always held mine nudging me not to give up. And as I travelled with new eyes on uncharted courses I knew my little man was the bearer of some deep message that went beyond the realm of his life.
Over the years I had often found myself referring to project why as planet why, and then correcting myself as the raggle taggle elements that make project why could not be named a planet. Some Freudian slip or an intuitive glimpse of what still lay ahead. Any one’s guess. Yet hindsight shows that a tiny seed was being planted in one’s mind. Project why in its actual avatar was too fragile and had to take on a new body. The travels with my prince were just pointers towards the task that lay ahead: creating planet why that would come full circle.
And once again an apparently impossible picture seeded in my mind: that of a happy place where those with no hope could seek not only refuge but find meaning, where no one’s children would study just like others, where skills would be taught, where days and would filled with laughter and happiness and childhoods would be reconquered with renewed assurance watched by my smiling little prince.
So help me God!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 21, 2007 | Uncategorized
Miracles happen to those who believe them says a quote, but some are a little difficult to imagine let alone believe in. And yet on that long hot drive back from the grim rehab centre to my home about a year back, there was a picture that flashed in my mind as I held on to the little boy who had in one dark night lost his childhood: it was a hazy picture of a day when he would be reunited with his mom and sister in a ‘happy place’. And no matter how dim and remote it would seem at times, I never let it go!
The picture you see is not a figment of my imagination nor a piece of trick photography. It is a kodak moment. This moment happened yesterday when finally all the elements of a complex puzzle fell in place, and even the colors were right; Popples celebrated his 5th birthday with his mom and sister and best pal kiran and even maam’ji, in an idyllic place where ducks and flowers are in abundance and surrounded by a motley group of 60 kids who just like him one day lost all hope but regained it here.
The journey was long and the hurdles many but were all met with courage and dignity. An alkie mother had to be cured, a baby had to learn to live in an alien place, and a young girl had to be rescued from lurking predators all this while battling a host of so called well wishers bent upon opposing your every move. yes the odds were against us and the dice was loaded, the social profile was wrong, the foes many but somehow the happy picture remained engraved in my memory.
Yesterday once again the mr p support group set out for this special event. Armed with games and toys for his new pals and overflowing love we landed at karmmarg to celebrate a real mother and child reunion. There was laughter and song, Durga Utpal’s sister delighted us with a bolywood number, and we all sat in the shade amidst nature at his best and shared a lunch that would surpass any three star gourmet meal.
The day was picture perfect and the old maam’ji so moved that even the photographs turned out misty, but do have a look at them
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 18, 2007 | utpal
A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them wrote victor Hugo and yesterday after on whole year Utpal must have slept soundly.
It has been a long solitary journey for utpal and his mom, but they are both survivors.
It was also the first time in that the now legendary motley crowd that goes by the name of Utpal’s parents was not there to fetch him. trusted Dharmendra bhaiyya was given the task of picking up utpal and delivering him and the little red bag to the portals of karm marg. Imagine my panic when I received a call telling me that the whole karm marg was away on a field trip and only the ducks, the dogs nd a three staff members were there. My immediate reaction was to ask that Utpal come back to me, but he knew that something special was to happen and once again acted with wisdom beyond his age as he befriended those present and told Dharmendra bhaiyya to leave.
Later a bag was delivered to my home. It contained Utpal’s school clothes, his uniform and winter wear. I just held on to each that little bit longer as I emptied the bag missing his smile and babble.
As I write these words I do not know how the mother and child reunion went. I just foolishly spent the night kicking myself for not having put a sweater his bag.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 18, 2007 | Uncategorized
why ki tazaa khabar is a new blog that saw the light of day on March 17th. The idea was mooted by the following words sent by a long time supporter: I find a major problem which is lack of information… my only problem is that I never get any information about that project. how that project is going on..how are kids in that project…did they do any progress..how is my contribution being helpful to them…how many teachers are there in the project etc etc.
Being one who has the tendency of easily slipping into comfort zones – i.e. taking for granted what goes on smoothly – this was a wake up call. I understand my friend’s concern as once upon a time I did send out regular individual emails!
But as the project grew and so did everyday challenges, individual updates became rarer as I believed – maybe wrongly – that the blogs and updates on the site were adequate information.
Having decided right from the outset that I would not waste my funders money on heavy administrative structures, and having also chosen to employ only community people who were not savvy enough to write in English, I was left with little choice. I could have sent a mail explaining this but I just sank into a comfort zone.
The wake up call that landed in my inbox jolted me into the need of finding a viable solution that would dovetail into the why spirit and give a day-to-day account of what happens at pwhy.
The way out I hit upon was a blog in roman Hindi in the words of those who were directly involved with running pwhy. So why ki tazaa khabar will be rani and shamika’s blog in their own words and will give all a different view of pwhy.
It is the first time shamirani – the name they chose – are setting out on such a venture and if you feel it is something hat needs to be encouraged please do drop a mail to
shambakshou@yahoo.co.in.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 17, 2007 | Uncategorized
I have always been a morning person and a light sleeper. Yet for years I never woke up before 4 or 4.30 am. If I let my memory travel back I realise that often it is was the cling clang of the Delhi Milk Scheme vans that used to wake me up. Sometimes a crow or a bird preceded it by a few minutes.
Lately I have found myself waking up as early as 2 am jolted from my sleep by the sound of a speeding vehicle. We live close to a flyover and in the dead of night every sound does get amplified. True that in yore years too sometimes their were cars whizzing past, maybe on their way to the airport, or Saturday party goers getting back home but it was an occasional sound that did not get passed the deep sleep one was in. It is the everyday sounds that reach that part of your brain like the milk van or the faithful crow.
Irked by this new phenomena that was now translating itself into dark circles under the eyes and an irritable Maam’ji, I decided to try and decipher the source of this new late night occurrence. It did dawn one such night: these were the BPO or call centre staff vehicles crisscrossing our city to meet their unearthly schedules.
A lot has been said about the effects of these new working hours that need to meet different time zones and turn night into day. many young people are paying the price and as is often the case, the once lucrative and upmarket job options is now being shunned by some and is slowly reaching the lower strata of society. Today many of our ex students work in call centres as the job profile is scaled down to meet the ever exceeding demand.
Doc P, our family doctor recounted how on a trip to the US he needed to change a booking and dialled a number answered by a young lad who was desperately trying to communicate in his newly acquired American Hinglish; no matter how many times Doc tried to coax him into speaking in Hindi, the lad held on: needless to say the booking was never changed.
While travelling to pwhy everyday one sees new hoardings for BPO training institutes that guarantee perfect English in 6 weeks or so. I guess they must be lucrative as new ones appear ever so often.
I guess I wil need to invest in a good pair of earplugs!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 16, 2007 | Uncategorized
To me she will always be Sapna’s mom though her name is Bimla and she is also Monty’s mom. She came to us almost 4 years ago carrying Sapna who was 5 but could not even hold her head, let alone stand. She used to drop by sometimes dragging her feet and looking far beyond her twenty something.
Slowly her story unfolded and we were shocked to learn that a still born child has resulted in a prolapsed uterus, the reason for her awkward gait. I first wrote about he almost exactly three years ago as she lay in hospital where she had initially gone to get her uterus removed but landed up in having to get a heart valve replaced. The uterus lay forgotten.. though visible!
Today three years later she again lies in a hospital this time finally free of her agony and shame. her story could have been shared many times as so much happened in the intervening years, but somehow I felt that the moment was not the right as for her closure only came today.
Bimla is 28 though she looks 128. Married to a man that not only does not care for her but is also often jobless, she bore with the resilience of Indian women a fate no one can envy: a retarded first born that was seen as a curse, a second child that was often ill, a mother in law that despised her but on whom she was dependent, nothing looked right for this woman. More was to come as her husband was diagnosed with a congenital heart problem. So the surgery she needed was delayed as she had to replace him as a dishwasher in a small eatery…
In the meantime however Sapna started walking and saying a few words and Monty got better and became a regular at pwhy! Bimla can infuriate even the most tolerant person as she often does not react to things but simply accepts her fate; I guess it is her way of dealing with what she knows she cannot change. I guess she has perfected the art of living one day at a time, and does not or rather cannot allow herself the luxury to look at the future.
Last week she came by and a look at her swollen face and body shook us out of the torpor she had manged to instill in us: we decided to get her hysterectomy done come what may as were anything to happen to her her innocent kids lives would be shattered. Luckily Sabrina and Chris were kind enough to help us.
Needless to say that it was not easy to get her husband to come and sign the consent forms but we managed though once again no one fromm her family stayed with her, it was little Deepak’s grandmother who offered to be there, another pwhy miracle.
For us it was just the question of saving Sapna’s mom, as little Sapna is considered a burden for all and only has her mom on her side.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 14, 2007 | Uncategorized
I have been in the begging business for seven long years.
If you look at the word ‘beg’ you find the following synonyms: panhandle, ask for money, seeking charity, seek alms.. not very gratifying and yet that is what I have been up to. I have used every trick in my book to try and persuade people to open their purse strings and reach out to help another. I presume one could pun a little and substitute pen for pan! And if you wonder why I have been in this trade at a time when my peers play cards and attend hen parties, well simply because what is thrown in my pan somehow miraculously transforms it self in incredible smiles: the smile of a child without hope, of a child who for the first time has passed an exam, the child whose heart is now fixed…
It has been a bittersweet journey as often those who could give never did and those who could not were the most generous. These years of soliciting were replete with lessons of life, some disturbing and annoying and some overwhelming and moving.
A recent post sought help for our dear ghaziabad girls. One of the most touching offers was from someone who lives thousands of miles away and whom I have never met but feel I have always known. The reason I share this story here is that her gesture epitomises the essence of what giving means. It is easy to give when you have a lot to spare or when you get tax or other benefits such as your name on page 3! But when you give most of what has come your way after hours of toiling in spite of excruciating pain, then that gift is invaluable and cannot be matched by another.
I will just her words speak for her:
Please, please send me an address, to send money towards the girls care? As mentioned, I just received notice, that I am to be paid for a logo-design I made for a male musician’s digital music business in the USA. He expects I will have this, on tomorrow or next day.. there is enough, for lee and for the girls!! I would love to help in this way, rather than send soap and things, the money could buy them there… please let me help them? Anou, I grew up in abject poverty; wearing panties with pins because they were my older sisters, handed down to me(3rd daughter).. I looked very much like those girls in the pictures… we were homeless once, and malnourished.. we were cold in winter, and lived on fresh berries, and root-vegetables in summer…. I know the pain of poverty, hunger, and the judgement on us by our community.. one does not forget their humble beginnings, so If my few dollars, will buy a box of bars of soap, or some much-needed supplies for the girls female needs.. I would be the lucky one to do this!! I’ll be waiting for an address…
What can I say but that when that gift comes, I will hold it close to my heart and send a silent prayer of gratitude for having had the privilege of receiving such a gift.
In this world where money means all, there are still are people who show us that there is something far more important called love! A lesson many of us forget..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 14, 2007 | utpal
I wrote about this little red bag many moons ago! After delivering its contents to Utpal’s dorm in school, it returned empty and sat in the linen cupboard waiting for its next mission. A few days back I retrieved it from the top shelf .
Om march 17th it will set off again to Uptal’s school and for there will accompany him to Karam Marg where little Mr p will spend a whole week with his mom and his sister. I have been filling the little bag with many things: clothes for him, and some for his mom and sis’, a pot of his favourite chocolate spread, and a few toys as it is his birthday on the 20th, one we will all be celebrating with him at K marg.
What an incredible journey this five year old has made in one year. His last birthday was celebrated in his home with his parents and some of us and I still remember how happy he was with the battery operated motorbike he rode with glee. A few days later his crestfallen face said it all: his bike had been sold for a few pegs of hooch. A week later hell broke loose as his mom sunk as low as one can imagine and he watched helpless from the arms of an unknown man.
In one day he lost everything his home, the presence of his mom and the man who he called papa.
But Utpal is one of a kind and he bore it all with dignity well beyond his age. He spent time at home and then on a fateful July day his bag and him walked through the gates of his new school where he walked into every one’s heart.
Nest week after a long long year utpal will sleep in his Mommy’s arms. For me it is probably one of the best moments of my life as I see this little family scattered helter skelter for reasons beyond any one’s control reunite amidst the greenery and the ducks of karm gaon.
I have filled his little bag with surprises and hope that he will be reminded of his maam’ji who loves him so desperately till I can hold him and whisper words of love in his ears.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 14, 2007 | two indias
I have been harping about the importance of environment issues, the plastic menace, the lurking water wars. I am the first to try and point this out when I wear my project why boss hat! Imagine my surprise when this morning in in the privacy of my bathroom I found myself lost in thought brushing my teeth with the tap running.
As I turned it off, I wondered how many times I must have done this offer, or for that matter how many times must I have not done what I preach. Many must have seen the now sated skit on environment where the page 3 lady is writing a speech on the importance of saving trees and throwing innumerable sheets of paper in the waste basket.
With great aplomb I had launched a programme with project why kids called once is not enough! It aimed at teaching children to use each thing twice: newspapers, plastic bottles, plastic bags etc. It was a great programme but somehow got lost in transit. Maybe because it was another instance of not practicing what one preaches and thus did not come naturally.
Our generation was brought up in believing that water was a perennial resource, and probably it was for those who lived in water rich areas. respect and awareness of the importance of water existed even in yore years.
My mother whose maternal grandparents lived in the city of Jodhpur often reminisced about how water was a rare and expensive commodity, and how women had mastered the art of using infinitesimal quantity of water for all their daily chores. Hair was plaited into tiny plaits and then woven into a mat on the top of the head, and washed every fortnight only. Mama and her brothers came from a city were water was in abundance and could never quite get used to the Jodhpur ways.
She also told me that during the marriage of her parents, her grandfather had spent huge amounts of money on water. The groom’s party had come from Benares by train. The train had been delayed and the auspicious time had gone by. The priests had then decreed that the next propitious time would be 10 days later. Now the marriage party could in no way return to Benares so stayed on, and as custom has it, all expenses had to be borne by the girls’ family. So the marriage party stayed and used water in large quantities. Frequent baths, great clothes washing sessions and of course great waste of water that was brought on camel back from wells situated miles away, and costing the earth!
A friend and mentor told me that the biggest culprit in the waste water saga was piped water and taps in each home. If we had to walk, albeit a few meters and draw water from a well/tank we would understand how precious it was. Many do not know about the violent fights that happen each day at water points in slums. One again we live in the misplaced idea that this cannot happen to us.
In days when plastic bags did not exist, women carried shopping bags, some so tiny that they could be slipped in a pocket. Few years back when people went abroad, we asked them to bring back the plastic bags they got in shops, as these were non-existent in India. Today plastic bags are everywhere and have replaced our traditional leaf wrapping. My daughter has been waging a war against plastic bags at home, and even pointed out that on some days more than 30 or 40 such bags entered our home. She practices what she preaches and has to battle with shopkeepers who often have wrapped your purchase in 1, 2, 3 bags before you have had time to react. True that we forget to carry bags, but were we to apply the once is not enough principle, then you ask the shopkeeper for an old and used bag hence delaying its reaching the garbage dump.
Last week drove out of Delhi into tiny villages and was appalled to see the mound of plastic that lay practically everywhere and even close to green fields. The day is not far when good agricultural land will turn barren courtesy plastic.
I is not easy to change mindsets, and lifelong habits, but the onus lies with us who are educated and can foresee the disaster that looms ahead. For me this morning’s incident has been a wake up call on two fronts: one to make a conscious effort in my own home even it it means sticking post its everywhere, the other is to revive the once is not enough project with all pwhy children.
