by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 17, 2005 | Uncategorized
It was a celebration… but one with a difference.. and one that celebrated ‘difference’!
p and j got married.. in a city where weddings have become barometers of one’s success.. where people wreck their brains to find ways of outdoing others.. where flowers are flown from across the world and strange cuisines discovered… where guests drip jewellerey and stand in bored silence..
p and j got married.. in a ceremony that did out do many.. the groom came on a motorcycle and the wedding party followed in three wheelers to the beat of frenzied dholaks played by pwhy parents , the ceremony was held in the tiny lawn of the bride’s house and not in any farm house or starred hotel, the caterer was up market and the tentwallah from a slum, the guest lists was eclectic coming from diferent lands and all walks of life.. and everyone came together to wish the couple a happy life..
It was a wedding that brought together many worlds , one that proved that diferences needed to be celebrated…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 15, 2005 | Uncategorized
Two days from today my I marry my fist born…
A simple marriage is anathema to this city we live on…
As the marriage season dawns India’s capital city is replete with weddings that would put Mira Nair’s Monsson Wedding to shame.. it is almost as if Delhi’s beautiful people come alive.. you are flooded with wedding invitations that look like art pieces and you wonder how many trees were cut to make one such card…and cards cannot come alone: they are accompanied by sweetmeats in boxes that discreetely reveal the state of your bank account… and then comes the task of deciding which ceremony you will attend.. as gone are the days where invited to one only.. and what you will wear as that too is a yardstick to measure your success.
Weddings are no more family affairs where you were guided by the elders and the family priest, and have become social statements.. true that everyone is ready to agree with you when you say that they have become ostentatious displays of wealth, but quick to retort that it cannot be otherwise and that so for many reasons: from the wish of the child to be married to the fear of social stigma..
So planning a simple wedding, where the sanctity of the ceremony and the family traditions are paramount is quite a task, as I discovered in the past few days. My daughter’s wedding will held at home and there will be a limited number of people: the ones she wants to have on that very special day!
To achieve this in a city where everyone is judged by appareance has been a herculean task. Trying to explain why there are no cards, no fancy sangeets in hotels or farm houses, no fancy performers, no ostentatious wedding outfits that no one wears again is much harder than one may think. If you say that this is what you beleive in, the answer i :what will people say! You are made to feel unfair to your child, mean and marginal and after a while not fit for Delhi consumption.
But I did survive all and the guest list does not cross 100 and the number of food items on the table 10 and the music will be a dholak played by pwhy staff and the space has been limited to the confines of our home.. and the tone will be set by the family purohit..
But I must confess that I had to give vin to the demands of one side of my family: the project why children who also have the right the celebrate maam’s daughter’s wedding. They want a party where the main element has to be a D.J and a dance floor.
So one day after the wedding there will be a party in gNagar with a D.J., a dance floor and a coffee machine.
This simple demand made me realise how important it is for people lile us to do the right thing as what we called the poor, will always emulate what we do – good or bad – : to them that is the way to social transformation. The difference is that whereas we dip into our bank accounts or piled up wealth, they borrow at 10% a month from the local money lender.
Think about it….
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 11, 2005 | utpal
“rarely is love intsant and those lovers are fortunate, in that doubt never enters their mind” writes timeri n murari in his heartwarming tale : my temporary son..
I have rarely been moved by a book.. but as I read this one, all the little faces that have become part of my life came to my mind…and yes of course utpal
I have often wondered why I was so passionate about pwhy..
I guess I never realised that ultimately it was all about falling in love instantly and unconditionally with little kiran who was born the day we began, with utpal’s pain filled eyes, with babli’s determination, with yash’s helplessness, with manu’s resilience, with preeti’s innocence..
pwhy is just a simple love story…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 7, 2005 | Uncategorized
Last week, a prominent magazine published a supplement on our city. The issue was about some of the social causes spearheaded by some individuals: a plethora of causes ranging from children to women, from rag pickers to legal rights, from environment and to animal welfare. project why also featured in it…
Out of all the causes, the one that made the cover was the sole animal welfare organisation…
People often wonder why I spend time surfing TV channels, particularly those viewed by the genral public.. infradig say my peers, but to me it is a way of gaging the reality around me, of comprehending what influences the people I work with and what ails society at that time..
An upmarket magazine will select as its cover picture one that moves its readers and so for a Delhi issue it chose a picture where the poor animal would bring the now very popular – cho chweet – that one hears in page 3 gatherings..
It is not the malnutritioned child that one would wish away if one could, or the garbage pile that will choke the environment, but the stray animal being bottle fed by a fellow citizen that will stir sympathy.
Wonder why? Maybe because the other images are too close to us or is it because they makes us aware of our responsibilities in a disturbing way…
A sad reflection of the reality we live in..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 4, 2005 | girl child
“doctor bolta hai operation karna hai aur paisa ka intezam karlo.. ” (the doctor says I have to be operated upon and that we should get the money organised) said little babli in her shrill and matter of fact voice as she clutched sister arzoo in a maternal hug..
these words spoken by this little chit of a girl for whom even the simple act of breathing is an effort, sums up the attitude I would like to instill into everyone at project why..
Some kid… she is not scared , she just wants this operation out of the way so that she can get on with her life, and her dreams..
babli wants to study and become a ‘police’ as she says it. wonder why?
for a long time this brave child lived with the fear of dying but that did not stop her from living, and though she has great difficulty in breathing, she takes on life head on…
what is endearing and remarkable in this little woman of susbtance is her ability to recognise opportunities and seize them. as the family is extremely poor with just her mom earning, they had to move home each time the landlord wanted to up the rent, and so she never went to school.
When she landed on planet why, she took to her studies like a fish to water, her teacher is amazed at the speed at which she learns.. she went through all the pre-op tests with a smile and never complained.. even when she told us that her brother got a better deal at home, there was no biterness or envy, she just accepted this as a reality she could not change..
Life has not been kind to babli and yet babli has no complaints; she is grateful for what she has, and has the ability to make the best out of everything, however insignificant..
It is time for life to make up to her!
Note: babli will soon be operated upon. all pre-op tests have been done. we are waiting for the date. if all goes well, babli will reintegrate mainstream education in march 2006.
