by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 13, 2008 | fostercare
Once upon a time there was a young man named Manu. The Gods had not been kind to him as he was sent to earth almost 40 years ago with a fractured mind and a wobbly body. His mom like all moms did tend to this odd child with care and love and he spend his early years in security.
But the Gods intervened again and took his mother away. Manu was left to the care of two small sisters who did show him some compassion. But as all young boys he too wanted to discover the world and venture out of the four walls of his tiny dark hovel.
True the sun was bright, the winds soothing and the roads full of new things waiting to be stumbled upon. But Manu did not know that he did not look like others as he crawled on his useless legs and did not understand that beyond the sun, the wind and all natures bounty existed people who were never kind to anyone who did not look like them. But Manu’s spirit was indomitable and he set out to find out what life was.
Soon his sisters got married and the little love that could heal the day’s scorn disappeared. In its place came a daunting sister-in-law whose bards were worse than those he had to bear with. The one safe walls became threatening and Manu started spending his night roaming the streets. His drunk dad had no time for him. His clothes got tattered, his hair unruly, and is body infested with wounds. Kids threw stones at him just to hear him scream, car drivers revelled in scaring him and sometimes hit him.
Sometimes a kind soul would hurl abuses at the family and Manu was given a bath and his head was shaved. Poeple fed him as you would an animal, if we got too hungry he would rummage through garbage dumps. People would shun him. His sister in law would send him to beg at the local temple and promptly appropriate the few coins that would be in his torn pocket. Everyone would commiserate on is miserable plight and wish him to die wondering what sin he must have committed for such a life.
But he soldiered on, weathering all storms, spending nights in the bitter cold, lying alone after a severe epileptic fit, dehydrated under the scorching sun, bearing all abuse and not giving up life as if he knew that it was not yet over and that something would happen the next day. God ways are mysterious and he had a plan for him. Manu the seemingly useless, pathetic, forsaken soul had his own mission, one that still needed to be unravelled and though he could not express it, he knew he had to carry on.
Then one day someone came his way and stopped. In his eyes and the beginning of a smile she saw what she was looking for and felt that this was a blessed moment for both of them. In her mind flashed an image: Manu in his own home, having his own bed and living a life of dignity and hope. But the road to that dream was to be a long one. And all along the way many lives would be transformed. Manu’s life changed slowly. And though he was safe during the day, his nights were still spent roaming lonely streets.
Soon he had friends just like him who reached out to him. Warm meals came his way as well as a daily bath. He learnt to dance, to sing, to learn basic skills. He went for outings and birthday parties and even the movies. But the final destination seemed still a chimera. Then some time back the idea of foster care home emerged and it was with incomprehensible fervour that all worked towards its creation.
Two days back Manu had his home. A soft bed, a TV, roomies, caretakers who became pals. Everyone wondered how he would react to this new life so different from the one he had lived for years. But all fears were set aside as he spent his first night sleeping like a baby after having watched TV and eaten a warm meal. Yesterday evening Manu even took charge of his home as he ordered the evening meal of potatoes and rotis, his favourite treat and even asked to call Shamika and tell her what he had done. Like all fairy tales, this one too must end with: and he lived happily forever!
I must confess that after that telephone call, both Shamika and I wept like babies!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 12, 2008 | fostercare
This picture is very special. It is a snapshot of the first breakfast shared by the inmates of our foster care programme. But is is much more than that. It is the inalienable proof that everything is possible provided you are truly committed to see it happen.
Who would have believed that someone who had lived like a beggar for years, rejected by his own family, shunned by society could one day sleep in a comfortable bed and share a meal with friends and pals.
And there is more who would have thought that a bunch of kids born with almost everything against them could one day aspire to reach any destination they chose to. This is not a moment to be proud of but a moment to be grateful for as what we are witnessing is nothing short of a miracle and miracle are not made by humans, they are of the realm of the celestial.
But miracles are fragile and heavenly beings testy. The onus rests on us to ensure that the miracle does not go awry. If it were to happen than the magic could never be recreated; huge cracks would remain and the future of innocent souls would be jeopardized.
A tall order its is. One where each one of us has to learn to rise above our own limitations, our egos, our individual ideas our likes and dislikes and work towards the commitment we have accepted with our eyes open and willingly. The situation is complex as most of these kids have heavy pasts and atavistic instincts that belong to a world where options are few and pitfalls many. Our challenge is to prepare them for a world where choices are limitless and rewarding.
Each one of us would love to spoil them, smother with love and care but that would be counterproductive and would not help them make the tough transition they have to make. And above all we all need to speak in the same language and respect the same rules as nothing is a better teacher than example.
This programme came our way not by choice but due to a series of unforeseen circumstances. But today it is a reality and gone are the times when we could still debate its validity or rationale. At best we can decide to close it once these little kids are in a boarding school and we find another similar option for Manu and Champa! But these little souls have to get our very best as towards them we have a life long commitment.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 11, 2008 | Uncategorized
The Supreme Court yesterday upheld the reservation of 27% for OBC’s in higher institutions of learning with certain conditions. For once all political parties hailed the verdict. Not surprising as elections are around the corner and OBC’s form a large chunk of the electorate. And not surprising that debates have begun about the stipulated conditions: the creamy layer that has been excluded is now up for revision to protect vested interests!
I have often written about the reservation issue and to my mind the situation sadly remains unchanged on the ground. I am not for or against reservation I just want every child to get his or her place in the sun.
The reservation issue will never die unless we take steps to end it and find ways that will help deprived children step into a better world. The plight of children in today’s India is a lamentable an no one seems to be interested in doing anything for the very children who are supposed to reach the portals of high learning one day thanks to the very judgement pronounced yesterday. They are actually being shut behind shameful walls as they seem to disturb those sitting on the other side of the till recently an invisible wall. What we are witnessing is a further way of dividing an already fractured society. The real issues seem to be forgotten as each one is striving to save his own place in the sun.
In the light of all this the last shred of doubt about the validity and rationale of our new programme ,that still has not found a name to define its essence, vanishes once for all. It is not complex and unrealisable laws that will allow children from deprived homes to break the circle of hopelessness in which they are locked but simple and brave attempts like these. It is we renewed hope and determination that we take the first step towards changing four tiny lives.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 10, 2008 | women centre
The Kamala centre is now six months old. Today over 120 children attend after school primary and secondary classes and over 50 women come for stitching and beauty classes. We intend to begin hygiene and nutrition workshops and even address some of the issues that plague urban slum women. Looks great and makes all the criteria needed to attract kudos and possible funds. However I am still not satisfied as I have been feeling that the real spirit seems lost in translation!
A recent news item and the accompanying visuals shook me out of the comfort zone I was inadvertently sinking in. A rape victim was brutalised by the rapist’s family and neighborhood and aspersions were cast on her character. She was called a drunk and that simple comment gave an uncaring society license to kill.
Just as in the past the so called law protectors made the needed noise and yet know that the noise will die and nothing will happen. We did try very hard to take up the cudgels for our dear Ghaziabad girls but the adversary was too strong and in spite of our best efforts we lost track of them. I pray that they are safe. Apologies for this digression but somehow it was necessary to jolt myself out of the dreaded comfort zone and rekindle the spirit of the woman centre.
True that sewing and beauty classes are great opportunities to empower women but they should actually simply be viewed as a mean to an end. The Kamala Centre is first of all a place where women rejected by society can find a refuge and the strength to rebuild their lives and walk in society their head held high. But more than that it is a forum where women need to learn to respect other women and stand by them no matter what their past may be. In yesterday’s incident it is women who beat the poor soul. In homes it is the mother in law that terrorises and ill treats her daughter in law. Crimes against women are too often perpetrated by women.
And therein should lie the spirit of the women centre. It has to teach women to turn the mirror towards themselves and look at reality. It has to free them of the shackles of mores and traditions and take charge of their lives and stand up for what is right. I know it is a difficult task and may look completely impossible at first. But here again we need to apply the simple resolve that made me move from a state of inactivity and ideals, to one of action and ideas: if you can change one life it would be worth it.
So to put in place the missing link and revive the soul of the women centre one has to change the attitude of one women. The rest will follow.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 9, 2008 | Uncategorized
Preeti is back after almost a year! Her mother had one day decided to withdraw her from pwhy and send her to another place which I must confess did look prettier than pwhy and seemed to have and give much more. We were sorry to see her go as she was one of our first student and in spite of her stubborn ways she was an endearing child.
I can never forget the day when our friend Nauko had celebrated a Japanese festival where children are meant to write their dreams and tie them to a bamboo tree, Preeti had written hers: she wanted to be a mother.
I also remember the day when we launched our aloe vera project and the excitement on the face of this child as she held her very own pot. Sadly the project did not take off the way we would have liked it to. I hope it does one day, maybe on planet why!
As Preeti walked backed into her old classroom where her old and some new friends waited, she was as always all smiles. She pointed at a picture of hers that sat on the wall and wanted everyone to see it. She then tried to communicate again using her hands and signs. We were all shocked as when she was with us Preeti used language and words to communicate. It is true that she had a very limited vocabulary but she did speak. I wonder why in the school she went they treated her as a speech impaired child. Shamika was furious and decided to take matters in her hand and get her to speak again!
Seeing Preeti back was heartwarming as it proved that in spite of our limited resources we still manage to give our special children a happy place and one where they can fulfill their potential and prove to all those who consider them as disabled that they are simply differently abled.
Welcome back Preeti!
