by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway, said Elbert Hubbard. Maybe that is why a blog written a few days back has been lying unpublished. Each time, my finger wanders towards the publish button, something holds me back.
Wonder why. Is it because what has happened looks so terrible, because it holds within it so many assumptions each needing to be addressed and denied? I do not know.
Is it because a touch of that key will maybe alienate many forever and leave us rudderless, or is it because one is afraid of tarnishing one’s now glowing image needs?
Let me explain as best I can now that I can view things with a little distance and less anger and even some hum our. Let me start by a asking you a question: what would you do if one day for not fault of yours, without any prior information you received two envelopes with two drafts, no letter or explanation barring a mention of the counterfoil stating that your accounts stand closed?
After wondering for an instant who the generous donor was, I read the words with horror and felt my whole world crash as innumerable images rushed helter skelter in my tired brain. I am sure my head grew a few more white hairs!
To cut a long saga short let me just say that as an easy way out and after operating our accounts for two whole years and not finding any fault, a huge bank decided that we were non-grata and just threw us out without any professional ethics probably thinking that we were to small to react. Surprisingly the same giant sent us two letters dated later than the draft that asked for a certain papers and with no mention of the closure.
When we asked for a reason and explanation and at least for a letter to the authorities stating the reason for such action, we just got wishy washy replies and a vague reference to Bombay being the ultimate authority.
Had this been a personal account of even a business one, I may have thought twice before taking Goliath but 600 pair of eyes was all that was needed to realise that at least the God of Lessor children was with me. So knowing that had done no wrong I wrote a letter to Bombay which had been held to me as the ultimate Goliath!
An answer came and then phone calls and vague explanations. The battle is still on and though I want no one hurt I still want to know why I was treated this way and above all a way to redress the tort.
The battle is on and I will no rest till it is won. However if I stand by what I was taught as a little girl my a doting father: always look for the larger picture, maybe there is a lesson to be learnt: work like ours will only succeed when the basic support comes from within. So no matter how things end, one has to work towards the elusive one rupee option as all other solutions, no matter how easy and comfortable, are fragile and finite.
True one will have to deal with the there is no smoke.. types, they always lurk around as it would give them the awaited opportunity to slime out of commitments. One will also have to explain and vindicate one’s self and the trust painfully and patiently gained over seven long years
Yes one will have to pick up the pieces carefully and gently, and weave them together again with the hope that no cracks remain. And yet there is another lesson to be learnt, one that corroborates my almost intuitive vision when I wrote the first official document for pwhy, one that highlights the vulnerability of any developmental work that depends on outside support: true success lies in one’s ability to build a support system within the group one works with. One that is so small that it escapes all possible attacks, and yet powerful enough to grow by the day.
I just hope that those who stood by us will continue to do so.
Note: For those who are curious the problem seems to have arisen from the fact that someone forgot to look at all the documents filed and took a hasty Poncus Pilate way out.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 14, 2006 | Uncategorized
I have been battling many demons and what now looks like trivial problems, when my good friend mr god decided to call me to order in his inimitable way.
We had been invited to talk about pwhy at a expat gathering when another ‘project’ was also presented by some of the ladies themselves. I must confess that at first we were a little put off as it seemed we were losing a bit of the limelight. How was I to know that it was mr god at work!
As the project was introduced and images flashed on the white wall my hackles stood up. And as one image followed the other I knew that this our presence their was for a reason.
The project is question as an orphanage for little girls an hour’s drive away. And as the lady shared what she had seen I knew that I was looking at something that was evil.
The worst was the plight of 15 little disabled girl who lay in their dirt with no one to look after them. As the last slide was projected I found myself looking for the lady who seemed to be the one in charge and offered our help. She gave me the name of a person who turned out to be a kind hearted well wisher and he asked us to come as soon as we could.
The place turned out to be a house of horrors: over 50 girls and 15 disabled girls between the age of 2 and 15 lived live without any one to look after them, not a single woman is there to care for them. The place is filthy and foul smelling, children are not bathed, their clothes ripped and some do not have wear undergarments. There seems to be regular physical abuse and god knows what else. The swami in question does not seem to believe in education and the children never go out.
What was the most disturbing thing was the fact that this operation has been going on for 30 years yet no girl was over 15! Where are the missing girls, and above all who are these girls?
My mind traveled back to the days when I first met Manu but somehow this sight was far more disturbing. I still do not know how the little girls are going to be saved, but saved they have to be. Every extra hour the children have to be spend in this house of horrors weigh heavily on my conscience..
We need to act!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 13, 2006 | Uncategorized
A young class IX student, just 14 years old killed himself… the reason being his public humiliation by the principal.. the reason for that being his delay in paying his fees. Jatinder was the son of a driver who had dared dream huge dreams for his son and enrolled him in this school.
Public humiliation in front of his peers, and inability to sit for his half yearly examinations were too much for this child. He simply put an end to his life. Adults often fail to realise how fragile children’s egos are and they revel in flinging unkind words not realising the damage they can have.
One of the reasons project why began its curriculum support programme stemmed out of a public humiliation. It was in a principal’s office that 6 class X boys were dismissed as useless gutter filth and sure failures in front of me. I saw how they cringed and shrunk and had I not been there to pick up the pieces I wonder what would have happened to them. To salvage their hurt egos I told the principal that they would clear their Boards. A challenge immediately accepted by my lads whose body language changed in an instant. The said Boards were a mere 2 months away, their classroom the roadside in the bitter December cold, their class hour: 7 am. But they came and gave their best and all cleared their examinations. Some of the boys are today in college, others working, one has even bough a car!
When young Rani who now is one of the pillars of project why was beaten in public for being two days late with her school fees and subsequently fainted, her illiterate but sensible mom stepped him and took the only decision she thought right: withdrawing her child from school. Today Rani has cleared her XII Boards while working with us and taking on challenge after challenge.
Jatinder had no one to pick op the pieces of his hurt ego and probably felt that he had no other way but killing himself. probably he did not even realise that his death would have the aftermath we are seeing. He just could not walk back into his world both at school and at home with his head high.
Often adults take insensitive decisions without thinking of the terrible consequences they can lead to. My heart goes out to Jatinder who many may forget after a few days. I juts hope and pray that his death will not go waste and that over and above the arrest of those guilty, some laws will be made to deal with such matters to ensure that no child has to take his life again.
may he rest in peace!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 7, 2006 | Uncategorized
Five years ago, when I first heard of the local money lender and his alarming interest rate of 120%, I could have never imagined that the day would dawn when I found him almost ‘likeable’.
I have often held that my years discovering the India of urban slums has been a huge lesson in life, where many of my set ideas were not only questioned but sometimes even reversed.
My first encounter with our moneylender’s ways was when I realised that he not only lent at 120%, but sent his goons to collect his monthly pound of flesh on each payday without fail. I was appalled and set out explaining to people that this was illegal and that there were institutions that lent money at sensible rates. Of course at that time I did not realise that poor slum people could never walk into a bank, let alone apply for anything.
The years went by and so did the moneylender and his ways. I often heard about his having given the few paltry rupees in the dead of night when someone’s misguided child had been taken by the cops, or his having disbursed the needed money to buy eats for a visiting marriage party.
Whenever we could, we used to help people in need, but never had sufficient funds to do so on a sustained basis. I often wondered why this seemingly absurd system did not stop and kept thinking of alternatives.
Last month one of my team members told me he had applied for a loan from a known bank and the interest rate was 2%. seemed fair to me who does not have a head for financial affairs. After much form filling, telephone checking and too’s and fro’s, he was given 25 K or so for a 30 K loan.
I then ventured to ask Amit to find out what all this actually meant. To cut a matter short, our colleague who is barely literate had signed on a paper that would make him pay almost 55 K for his 30 K amount, and for an insurance policy of 3 K per year, something he had not wanted. The financing in the name of a leading bank was one of those agarwal sweet kind of things where leading companies give their name to middle men.
It was another transition from feudal lord to babulord. From human money lender to institutionalised money lender. I did start by saying that to me the former seemed more likeable. Well let me tell you why. Our local money l;ender at his astronomical lending rate hounds you mercilessly for year one, then a little less harshly in year 2, and normally lets people go in year 3 as he has recovered more than enough. The bank will drag you to court and hound you till kingdom come. With the former it is a clear and well understood operation, the later is full of hidden traps that simple and illiterate people fall for.
Wonder where the solution lies
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 1, 2006 | Uncategorized
The Okhla saga ended well.. the young lads who had broken the wall repaired it after hearing our healing touch pitch.. In the ultimate analysis everyone can be saved, or at least one can try and plant a seed and hope that some day it will germinate..
The two kids in the picture -Raju and Rakhi – are busy emulating their Bollywood heroes to impress their little audience. it is a very serious affair. But both these kinds have all the chances to grow into what we call bad elements: Raju does not have a dad and his mom just manages to keep things going, and Rakhi’s dad has already been to prison and lives on the edge..
So the wall breaking incident could very well be repeated in the future where one would be the lady love and the other the forlorn and rejected admirer..
I have been disturbed recently by the course we have taken at pwhy and have been feeling that our set of horses are tired and need to be changed. The many perturbing occurrences in the recent past that seem to aggravate schisms in our society need to be looked at seriously. Our experience in okhla has shown us that many dangers lurk around a growing urban child. Just teaching them the normal 3 Rs will not get them anywhere. We have to combat the divisive forces at the grassroots. Children have to be made conscious of their role in civic society, of their democratic rights, of the tools they have to combat problems (RTI) and of the dangers of alcohol and drugs.
My encounter with the gang boss was perturbing. In a flash we recognised ourselves as enemies and as he carried on telling me how bad the young lads were I insisted on saying that every child could be saved. Today everyone is talking of Gandhigiri versus Dadagiri being un uneven battle as the later has no principles, no scruples and no values.
Two roads are left to walk: the former is the one that was depicted in the reaction of one of our upmarket volunteers as she heard of the incidents and said: You must find a safer place; the later is that of digging your heels and try and beat the system by using it to your advantage.
Okhla has two small time Dons, one is the one that cross swords me, the other is a young spirited woman who has now become a friend, and who will ultimately help me in my battle.
To the man’s: they can do anything (read kill) I retorted that we all had to go (reread die) one day!
Strange that I made my will just this week..
I am ready for battle. It is for the children and therefore for the future
by Anuradha Bakshi | Sep 29, 2006 | Uncategorized
On my mission to find out why the brand new wall of our school had been broken, I could not have imagined in my wildest dream that the main culprit was Cupid!
Apparently one of the young gang leaders of the are – and there quite a few – was romantically inclined towards one of our students. When she told him that he was not up to the mark, her yardstick being pwhy teachers, the young lad say red. At night he tried to break the wall of the school alone, but when he could not, he gathered 5 pals and they set out to the task of destroying the quite solid brick wall. I presume they were aided by Bacchus too!
On the flip side, the young man in question, was responsible enough to own his action, and in doing so he gathered a few plus points from me.
But it does not stop here, when I went to find out what happened I found myself once again faced with the puzzle that is India. Another student of ours had been beaten by the same band of boys. As I tried to find someone to go and fetch the ‘culprit’, a fat man that oozed bad vibes came and stood in front of me stating loudly that the boy was a very bad element and that nothing could change him, he was scum of the earth. And as his diatribe grew longer and louder, I knew that there was more than met the eye. After handing him a few no child is hopeless and everyone is born the same way, I set out to find more.
I was not surprised to learn that he was the one who first got the boys into drinking and using and then made them do petty crimes. The student who had been beaten had refused to drink!
I am sure that the vile man is working for some politico who works for a bigger wish carefully nurturing the needed brute force to meet their agendas. As I left I was more and more determined to get the boys in my fold and have been trying to find ways, even if the first one that comes to my mind is that rather than break a wall to impress a lady, maybe studying would work better.
I forgot to mention that as I was leaving I witnessed the arrival of the local leaders all offering unsolicited help that of course my staff was politely refusing.
Sometimes everything looks so forlorn, why is it that I always see a ray of hope.
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