by Anuradha Bakshi | May 8, 2007 | Uncategorized
Just when you think that you have got it all in place, that you have achieved the quasi impossible, that it is time to make grandiose plans for the future and that you can bask in your so-called glory, you are dealt with a blow that calls you to order.
This picture was taken just a month or so ago and it seemed that we had finally come to rest as Utpal’s shattered family was finally reunited in one place after a long battle.His mom and sister looked happy and he had a place to come back to for his holidays.
Was it just a week ago that he had come home for a few hours and we had planned all the things he would take with is him for his summer holidays that he was to spend with his little family. And the glint in his eyes each time we mentioned his mummy was heartbreaking. Was hubris that made me see only what I wanted and ignore the rest. How did I forget the insidious ways of the enemy we had fought. How did I not see Utpal’s mom disturbed look. How did I miss what was silently screaming to be seen. How did I forget the hold alcohol had on the spirit and the soul of its victims.
Yesterday a frantic call from the place she is in shattered the very foundation of the life we had so painfully created. Utpal’s mom had spend two days at a hospital caring for a sick child, and somehow her small foray into an unprotected world had awoken the demons of her sordid past. From that moment onwards her restlessness had increased. Too fragile to be able to handle the situation and not having a support group she became aggressive and threatening. The caretakers of the place she is in ran scarred and delivered the ultimate sentence; she could not stay there any longer.
We were at a loss. Where could she go where she wuld be safe. The concerted advise was tha she needed another stay in a home where he could be counselled and protected. Well there are not many such places in Delhi. It was suggested that she go to a place in another state where such facilities exist. But then how would her son meet her?
That is where we stand today. Will we find a place for her as all other options would be pushing her back into the hell of her past?
What is heartrending is that that deep down she wants to rebuild her life. The truth is that the power of alcohol is deep seated and she cannot fight this alone. The truth is that a woman who drinks is shunned by all. But the truth also is that she did not ask for such a life and that she was a victim of circumstances.
Before anyone asks why I cannot bring her home, the answer is simple: my home is intimately linked to her past; that most of those who work or come by are from the very place where she lived her dark days and where predators lurk.
We will set out today to look for solutions and hope we find one.
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 7, 2007 | Uncategorized
This morning a neighbour of Mehajabi came by. Actually he was the man who had first brought her to us. He had come to collect the precious receipts that would ensure that the child was operated. After collecting the two pieces of paper and listening to the instructions, he lingered on for a while, hesitant to say what he wanted to.
I asked him what the mater was and he said shoved some medical papers in my hand and mumbled some inaudible words. This is his story..
Two years ago he lived in a village in Bihar where he eked a living as a daily wage labourer. He has a tiny plot of land and a little house. Life would have carried on were it not for his wife’s sudden loss of hearing. Local medical facilities being non-existent, he decided to come to Delhi in the hope of getting his wife cured. In Delhi he rented a tiny hovel and started his life as a daily wage labourer in earnest. He also set out get his wife treated but soon discovered that each day spent at the government hospital was one without work and the treatment was taking forever as he was sent from pillar to post.
After some time the comings and goings got the better of the little family as there were four children that needed to be carted each time and the loss of income was too much to bear. The wife too took on a job and life went on. But the ear ailment worsened. The wife’s employer decided to ‘help’ and sent the wife to a local specialist. She paid part of the treatment but then left for another city. The wife was ‘operated’ upon and given a huge prescription of expensive medicines. Part of the doctor’s bill still needed to be paid and the man borrowed and paid the same. But no money was left for the medication and the wife never went back to the doctor.
This was two weeks ago, and the man was at his wit’s end as infection had set in, the landlord not been paid and the family in danger of being homeless. He had come to ask for help.
A quick glance at the medical papers he carried showed that they did not even state what kind of surgery had been performed. We took him to our local doctor who referred him to a ENT specialist and we will try and ensure that she gets treated.
There must be many like this family who come to the city and get caught in an infernal spiral. They leave their roots and home to seek better medical help but soon find themselves worse they were in a inhospitable big city that is ready to devour them. As they try to survive, they sink deeper into debt. Some turn to alcohol, others gamble, and still others take their frustration out on their helpless families.
Welcome to the world of medical tourism of another kind.
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 2, 2007 | Uncategorized
Sapna, a real dream come true..
She come to us almost five years ago and f you drop by this page, this is part of what you will read:
She is four, has delayed milestones, as she cannot walk or talk. She came to us about two months ago. Listening to her story left us all stunned beyond words. Sapna’s father does not work. He is supposedly unwell, but spends his time gambling and abusing his wife. Sapna’s grandmother has a small tea stall, and Sapna’s mom, Bimla, spends her day washing the dirty utensils. At the end of the day, she gets some food, not always enough to feed Sapna and her small brother, let alone herself! We soon discovered that much of Sapna’s delayed milestones were due to malnutrition and neglect. Sapna joined the early education programme, and with the help of Gaelle, our physio-therapist volunteer, she has slowly started catching up.
Since Sapna has learnt to walk, talk a little, make friends, play, interact and much more. And though we know that she will never lead a normal life, each achievement of hers is cause for celebration.
Imagine my surprise when while downloading the day’s pictures to my camera I found this one. sapna having a whale of a time on the trampoline. To many it may seem innocuous as any 10 year old should be able to jump on a trampoline. But in sapna’s case it is nothing short of a miracle..
I do not even want to begin to imagine what her life would have been had she not come to phwy – thanks to utpal’s mom – . Sapna has never been liked by her father or her grandmother for whom sh is an impediment. Her mom does love her as mom’s do but can do scant else. In a land where social support is nonexistent her life seems doomed as she grows into a young woman.
It is for the likes of Sapna that planet why becomes imperative as it would giver her a fulfilling life tailored to her needs. That is why I know it will happen one day..
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 2, 2007 | Uncategorized
Four point five and dropping. This is no winter temperature chart but little Anil’s weight.
He underwent close heart surgery for the placement of a pulmonary artery (PA) Band till more surgery could be done when he was older and stronger.
Anil is 15 months old and his weight was 7 kilos before surgery. After the placement of his PA band something seemed to have gone wrong as his ribs looks displaced and his breathing awkward. Moreover he had given up food and is losing weight at a frightening pace. His mother has tried every trick in the book but to little or no avail.
The doctors at the Institute have washed their hands off by telling the young mother that his loss of appetite was not their concern.
All this makes us wonder whether something went terribly wrong and no one is taking responsibility.
With the terrible heat wave in the city dehydration lurks at every corner and Anil’s home is a tiny airless room with a tin roof!
We have asked Anil’s mom to bring him to the creche in the day and will try and feed him so that he starts putting on some weight and once again appeal to the god of lesser beings to guide us in the right direction.
If you read this post do send a prayer.
by Anuradha Bakshi | May 1, 2007 | Uncategorized
Was it only a year ago that I wrote about my worst fears in a post I entitled plastic fantastic lover. I have been watching in helpless horror the gleaming bikes and big cars that landed in the darkest lanes of the slums around us, courtesy a pyramid sales company promising an El Dorado t any one who joined them. I have watched with extreme sadness young people falling prey one after the other to this hoax, many leaving their studies midway, many our very own students. I have screamed myself hoarse trying to guard them from the pitfalls I could see. I have prayed hard for them to fall before it is too late. But the enemy was too formidable and the lollies to attractive.
Day after day more bikes, more cars, more white shirts and blank pants, more frenzy, more euphoria. The voices of reason were silenced and many even gloated at all that had been achieved.
I just sat silent wondering when the pyramid would crash, I sat silent asking myself how did one pick the pieces of broken dreams and shattered hope, how did one clean up after the storm has passed. My worst case scenario was huge debts leading to despair. And though the idea had seeded in my mind, nothing could prepare me for the news I heard this morning: one of the young kids had taken is own life this morning as he could not face the creditors knocking at his door and had no one to turn to for help. He was twenty one.
And as the story unfolded, all apprehensions and fears stood validated. Many young boys and girls were faced with huge debts. The dreams of early days now lay jaded. The careless freedom had taken its toll as many girls lost their way in a world they could not master. Some of the ring leaders were faced with lawsuits and had gone in hiding. Reality had caught up with these misguided children who had no one to turn to.
My mind went back to the innumerable posts I had written about my fears. My mind went back to some hate mails I got where young people lauded the work of MLM. I kept some of them and paste one here as it was sent to me without editing :
myself ebizzer amit
ebiz.com (p) ltd
The power of right decision
ebiz become the best network marketing company of the world by touching millions of people around the world by essential komputer eduction, quality produts and service at vrey reasonble and offardable costs, to help them achieve financial freedom.
I have nothing to say as these words spek for themselves. I just hope and pray that no other life will have to be lost.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 27, 2007 | Uncategorized
A few posts back we shared some of our achievements with a sense of pride. Today I was given another set of statistics and once again one felt elated.
My mind travelled back almost 10 years when project why began, or rather when the organisation was set up. To me it was a question of paying back a debt but at that time the canvas was blank and our work could have taken on any direction. The first year was spent distributing nutrition to slum children and in the course of that year one set out biscuits in hand on a journey into an unknown world, or rather a world one had been conditioned to view in a particular way. With each biscuit came a lesson and a set of questions or ‘whys’.
The one why that disturbed me the most was: why do children drop out of school? Project why came as our answer to this question and one can say with a some satisfaction that since its inception children who have come our way have remained in school and performed well. This year again we have has our set of toppers in many classes.
The other why that was as disquieting was the alarming number of children in Delhi who are not in school – over 100 000 between the age of 7 and 13 – . So it has also been our effort to try and push children back into mainstream education. This is often a difficult task as one has to motivate parents and bully schools. This year again 6 children were admitted n class VI and 61 in different primary classes.
Cynics may think this is but a drop in he ocean and I agree, but drops create ripples. In a land has huge as ours the only way to be able to bring change is one child at a time, one day at a time and to believe that if one life is changed a real difference has been made.
