by anouradha bakshi | Jul 26, 2016 | Uncategorized
Kajal
Kid Speak is cute. There have been TV shows like “Kids Say the Darndest Things’” or books like “Children’s Letters to God” that always delight us and warm our hearts. But the kind of Kid Speak we share today is the one that puts a lump in your throat and leaves you feeling heart broken and helpless.
I have made friends with school going children who live in the open at the Kalka Temple. Their parents are beggars. At night the family rolls out their beds under a narrow tin awning and in the day the same is rolled away and placed on some ledge or other with all the family’s belongings including the precious school bag. When asked why he had not gone to school, a little boy replied, “mama had to take my sister to the doctor. She has asked me to look after the bedding and make sure it does not get wet if it rains.” It was indeed a very cloudy day.
I was further enlightened when another child who had not gone to school said, ”We do not go to school when it rains as our uniforms get wet and would not dry for the next day.” I came to know that most kids have just one set of uniforms and thus the need of it drying is critical.
When I asked a little boy if he wanted toys to play with I was told almost dismissively,”I only like to study!” Do these kids intuitively know that learning may make a difference in their lives?
When I enquired about a little girl who had a high fever I was told that she had gone to school. Before I could react another kid told me, ”You see, if she had stayed here she would have been running around; in school she will be able to rest.” Yet another lesson.
These children struggle to survive with whatever dignity they can muster. It is touching to see how a mother spends that little bit of extra time tying the ribbons in the hair of her daughter as she readies her for school on a open stretch of road or how she goes haring down to see who had brought in the tastiest offering so that the child can have a better breakfast (people bring food early mornings as offerings to the deity).
I was surprised to see a beggar woman sitting on a step with het two school going children and holding a copy book and a pencil. She was helping her kids with their homework. I asked her if she had been to school and she proudly answered, ”I have studied till class III!”.
One wonders what brought her to where she is now.
To many of us, beggars are the pesky children that knock at our car window at red lights. But that is not who they really are. They are all people with a story, a story that needs to be heard.To know more about ‘beggars’ do read this article: Oh, that pesky Beggar…why doesn’t the Police take him away?
We at Project Why are working on getting these children the extra education they need.
Hope you will join us!
by anouradha bakshi | Jul 19, 2016 | Uncategorized
This week’s blog has to be written in first person as it symbolises the very spirit of Project Why. For the past weeks as we set out to ‘makeover’ Project Why to make it presentable to a wider audience I have been asked the question about whether we want to increase our numbers and the answer has been a firm no! “Never say never” to quote Dickens’s I should know more than anyone else as this has been the silent maxim we have followed in our quest to answer why’s. So my answer should have been worded differently: No, unless the need arises.
For the past six weeks I have been doing a daily pilgrimage to the Kalka Temple. For those who have never been to this temple it is difficult to imagine the surroundings. To reach the sancto sanctorum you have to wade through absolute filth that can range from remnants of food to dog and even human excrement; you need to navigate the sleeping bodies of beggars who lie helter skelter; you have to ward off the millions of flies that attack you. But faith conquers all and I have never felt disturbed by any of this.
What has disturbed me deeply though are the number of children of school going age that run around the place. In the morning you do meet some all dressed up in their school uniforms being taken to school by their parents but there are still too many loitering around the whole day.
You have to know Project Why to understand that we, or rather I, could not remain a mute spectator or be deterred by the cynical comment of a few. Something needs to be done to help these children. It took me no time to find out that the school- going kids had no after school support. There seemed to have been someone once but ‘she’ left and ‘she’ charged money was what one parent told me.
When I asked whether they would like us to teach the children the answer was an overwhelming yes from both parents and teachers. I then asked one mother whether we would find some place and she immediately said she would do so. I was touched by her enthusiasm but a little , too. Imagine my surprise when the very next day she came to me beaming informing me that she had talked to the person in charge of the night shelter and that the person had agreed.
From that day, every morning I am met by the children who often bring more children, all willing to attend the classes they want us to hold. I feel a tad ashamed at not having acted yet, but the process is on and if all goes well, we could begin soon. The question of not doing so does not arise. As I have always believed and stated Project Why is not ‘to question why but to do and die’.
That is what we have always been and would like to be for times to come.
We have been asked why we do not have a three year activities plan? The answer is simple: because we do not know what and when the next why will come our way.
I hope that all those who have know and care for Project Why understand what I mean.
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by anouradha bakshi | Jul 5, 2016 | Uncategorized
I fist heard of Sindhutai many years ago when I was researching ‘good news’ stories for a friend. Her story was a true inspiration more so when I felt reluctant to ‘ask’ for money. I wrote about her way back in 2011 and as I reread the words I penned then, it all seems so true even today. In a nutshell you do not need to be rich to help others all you need is a big heart and Sindhutai’s is larger than any one else’s.
If you do not know her story, read it here. It is humbling and inspiring. Over the years she has been lauded and feted and things should have remained thus.
Sindhutai is all heart and people who are all heart just follow their heart; in her case from one child in need to another. Paperwork and official stamps can be overlooked as there is so much to be done. She has been trying to get her work registered for years but many hitches came along the way and she has now been asked to shut her orphanages by the State Government.
This is outrageous more so in a land where children are in need of every little bit of love they can get and she has that in abundance.
Her work is incredible and she needs to be helped.
There is a petition on line that I urge you to sign.
It seems that the petition has caught the attention of the powers that be and I hope that they will act.
If not then all that is good may just be destroyed.
by anouradha bakshi | Jul 5, 2016 | Uncategorized
Clarisse and Xavier have not ‘adopted’ Utpal legally but are nevertheless his French ‘parents’, and do everything a ‘parent’ would : loving him unconditionally and being there for him. Nothing proves that better than the story of a cricketer of yesteryear who ‘adopted’ the son of their laundry man, providing all the support he needed to succeed. Succeed he did: his latest gift to his ‘adoptive ‘ parents a swank Mercedes Benz. There were no need of papers and documents to seal the relationship all that was needed was love.
A recent article stated the sad fact that adoptions numbers were decreasing in India. The reason stated is paperwork! Another reason” surrogacy. Indians parents prefer adopting babies under one and will never adopt a differently abled child or a sick one. Adoption agencies have a glut of 3 to 4 years waiting for adoption. These will become 5, 6 and then 7 and one day become 18 year old when the law of the land does not give any further protection.
This reality was brought to light when last week a member of the Child Welfare Committee asked us whether we knew families that would be able to act as foster parents to children of dysfunctional families who are institutionalised. They cannot be adopted as they have natural parents. The conditions in institutions in India are far from the enabling environment a child needs to grow in as children with criminal backgrounds are placed with children from abusive homes. The risk of the child going the wrong way looms large. The children in question were from 1 to 10. Though we promised to try we knew it would be difficult if not impossible. And yet we knew how real the danger was.
Reaching out to a child with or without papers is all about love. As someone said: the adoption process can be challenging but love is instant! There are so many children who need us to open our hearts and let them in.
Yes ‘adopting’ a child will not change the world but for that child the world will change
by anouradha bakshi | Jun 28, 2016 | Uncategorized
She was barely 5 when she first joined the special section. It must have been in 2004. She could barely walk or talk. She was like a tiny frightened bird that needed to be tamed. As days went by and we got to know her better the smiles came hesitant at first then bigger and bigger. And a few steps and some sounds. The ice was broken. It would not take long before Sapna was like a fist in water in the special section of Project Why. But all was not well for her mom whose story breaks your heart. Do read it. It is the story of too many women in India.
Sapna was happy at Project Why but came the day where the family moved and she left. There was no news. We hoped for the best and prayed for her well being.
A fews days back her father came to the Project. The news was terrible. Sapna’s mom had passed away in March. She had suffered enough. The father asked us if we would have her back and the answer was a loud YES!
So Sapna is back. She is 16 now and really small. But her smile is there larger than ever and she was so thrilled to see us all. She walks now and even speaks. It is a delight to have her back and her old pals Umesh and Anurag are thrilled.
For us it is bittersweet: a gentle reminder of the fragility of her existence. What if something happens to her father? What if he remarries? Endless questions with no answers. A visit to her home was heart wrenching. The family had very little. Her brother Monty has turned for the worse. He told us that he sold ‘slippers’ from midnight to dawn. He seems to have been targeted by predators.
For the time being Sapna is with us. We have convinced Monty to come to the centre in the morning and study some. Though he has paper saying that he has studied till class VII he can barely read or write.
How much will we be able to do for these two lost souls is anyone’s guess but we will give it our best shot. Sapna will be safe with us during the day. We fear for her when she is back home.
Once again the critical need for a residential option like Project Why comes to mind. It was for the Sapna’s of this world.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 7, 2016 | Uncategorized
Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime. Scars heal but the pain never goes away. And yet child abuse is on the rise. Recent studies show that there has been a 50% rise in the crime against children rate. Increased urbanisation seems to be a contributing factor. We are talking of children akin to those who come to Project Why everyday. Rape of children have become ‘epidemic’ in India’s capital city. Recently a mentally challenged 13 year old was brutally raped and left to die. She battles for her life.
A 8 year old was raped, she escaped death by pretending to be dead. She had seen this happen in a TV serial! One never thought one would give a thumbs up to serial viewing by kids!
Another report states that over 300 000 children across India are drugged, beaten and forced to beg.
The list is endless, each child being one too many, each one making one’s blood go cold.
At Project Why we are aware of this reality.
The first programme Project Why launched was aimed at children begging. The idea was if people gave biscuits instead of coins, the supply-demand equation could be turned on its head. Sadly it did not meet with success. However the plight of beggar children is still one of the most disturbing ones, a deafening Why that remains unanswered.
The case of the mentally challenged child who was abused once again brings to mind Planet Why. The first and most important reason for its existence was to provide safe haven to souls just like this little one. That too remained unachieved.
Project Why has always been, remains and always will be child centric. We are aware that these children are always at risk as they live in harsh conditions. Okhla is a drug haven and children are preferred targets. Teachers keep an extra eye on each child for tell tale signs, ready to intervene when needed.
Child abuse is most often perpetrated within the four walls of home, and thus a well-hidden secret tinged in guilt. Project Why staff is conscious of this and keeps a quiet watch, looking for imperceptible evidence.
Moreover, regular workshops are held for staff and children and ‘good touch’ ‘bad touch’ is an intrinsic part of our curriculum.
We have sadly had some cases. They are far and few between but in the case of a child, one is too many!
A child rights activist rightly said that “Stringent punishment provisions are not just enough. The changing social fabric needs to be studied to take appropriate measures to make systemic changes.” This is long haul. Till then we need to keep our children safe.
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