by anouradha bakshi | Dec 20, 2016 | Uncategorized
For those born before the advent of TV, the lessons best learnt were from stories told to us by parents or grandparents or discovered in books found in every child’s room and read with avid passion. The art of story telling is ancient and prevalent in all cultures. This art started dying slowly when ‘screens’ surreptitiously pushed books away. For some of us who were bookworms then and still are now, books are as essential as food if not more and the stories heard eons ago still fresh in our minds.
Some of us at Project WHY had been thinking of including story telling in the curriculum but never quite did so. It was a mail with a link to a blog entitled: Telling Truth, Why we teach storytelling to fifth graders and co-authored by Nina Sethi one of our dearest friends, that gave us the impetus to get going.
Nina and her colleague Gaby introduce us to their reinterpretation of story telling and what they share is amazing. They tell us how story telling has transformed their fifth graders. We have seen students grow closer to each other because they are impressed by classmates’ stories of risk-taking and reaching out. We have seen students grow closer to family members because they have had to think through their roles in those relationships.
We have always held that one of Project WHY’s main role is to give children a voice and what better way than story telling. And we will not limit it to one grade but extend it to both primary and secondary children. We hope it will help them bring out all those the things that have remained hidden and even festered; that it will bring them closer to their mates and teachers; that it will build their confidence and also improve their oral skills. A real win-win situation.
Just like for Nina and Gabby, we hope this will be great learning experience for all of us.
We have a voice; it is for us to use it and make it heard!
by anouradha bakshi | Dec 13, 2016 | Uncategorized
Everything is going to be all right. Miracles happen everyday wrote Adrienne Posey. I second that unequivocally! In the past 16 years of running Project WHY, I have seen them happen and lost count.
Another one was conjured in the past 48 hours.
I was woken up on Sunday morning by a phone call informing me of the theft of most of our computers, printers etc at the Okhla Centre. It came as a shock!
After making sure that all were informed, I sat down quietly to try and find out what lesson was this theft teaching me. For more than 14 years Okhla has been safe and protected by the community. Perhaps the lesson was that we had become too complacent. Who knows. But then why steal something that would hurt innocent children and their future. Somehow it did not seem right. I sat to meditate and was guided to share the incident on a healing group I belong to.
A few minutes later I hear the whoosh of my phone indicating a new message. It simply says: how much is the loss? Someone had money and had been wondering where to donate it and not getting any guidance. The money was simply waiting for us.
The bottom line is that ALL that was lost will be replaced and the children would have lost a couple of days only.
If this is not a miracle, then what is!
And it does not end there; thanks to this incident more doors have opened for Project WHY, doors that we did not know how to ope not having the right ‘introduction’. Our thief gave it us. No wonder I am grateful to him.
God or the Universe works in ways that we often do not comprehend. If Utpal had not suffered terrible burns would he be in a boarding school today? The list of Project WHY miracles is endless.
Over the years I have moved from awe to gratitude and now to complete surrender.
The lessons to be learnt are that we need to keep on believing that Good exists even if everything points to the contrary and that the Universe will provide for us if we keep our hearts open. Miracles cannot be explained by reason or logic. They belong to another realm. Someone mentioned the good will we hd gained over the years, but then the person who reached out was unknown to me till July 2016 and has never seen Project WHY!
I know everyone will want to analyse the whys and the who and play the game by the rules: the cops, the investigation, the endless to and fro to the police station. It needs to be done even if we are unlikely to find the stolen goods. That is the game of life.
I will simply thank the Universe for all lessons learnt.
by anouradha bakshi | Dec 6, 2016 | Uncategorized
It was lovely to have Shalini back for a ‘day’ to join the Project WHY annual picnic that she has never missed for the past decade. This year she almost did as for the past months brave Shalini has been nursing her ailing mother. The often difficult stubborn special ‘child’ became the rock her family could lean on when the need arose. Her mom who passed away a few days after this picture was taken, had been bedridden for many months and needed to be cared for and the only one at hand was our Shalini. The father is very old and in poor health and her brother and sister-in-law work to ensure that needs are met leaving behind two young children to be taken care of.
Shalini did everything needed from washing clothes, to caring to her mother’s needs to looking after the kids. The once spoilt one was now the one to depend on. And she did it all with a smile.
When, a few days before the picnic, her teachers went to her home to request that she be allowed to join her friends, she was a very proud mom’s little helper and had to tell them everything she did. Needless to say her teachers well super appreciative. Her father was kind enough to allow her to come and she spent quality time with her best friend Geetu. The smiles in the picture say it all.
We never knew things would change so soon as now with her mom gone, the possibility of her becoming the ‘house help’ forever looms large. Another deafening WHY!
That is the plight of many children with special needs after the demise of their parents, more so if they are highly functional like our darling S. No one really pays any heed to their wants and aspirations. It is to address this very need that we had wanted to have a residential home for our children with special needs to give them a safe haven for life.
We will have to tread with care in our ‘mission’ to get Shalu back. We will have to negotiate and will use every trick in the book to do so. Our aim is to have her come at least for a few hours every day so that she can laugh and dance to her heart’s content.
Wish us luck!
by anouradha bakshi | Nov 29, 2016 | Uncategorized
Ramchundur Goburdhun 15 August 1911- 29 November 1992
Most know us as Project WHY only. A few know that our legal identity is the Sri Ram Goburdhun Charitable Trust. And not many know who Ram was and yet if not for he, there might not have been Project WHY.
Ram or Ramchundur Goburdhun is my father.
He wore many caps through his life each with great aplomb and in his own inimitable way. As a student in his native island where the portly man I know was the mile champion of his island and admired by many young ladies! As a law student in London where passionate speeches at Hyde Park Corner would bring the needed coins to end the month. As a lawyer and then Magistrate back home where the trodden path may have led to a political career. As a perfect gentleman who courted his wife to be at times when courting was not quite known in a just freed India. As a career diplomat where his honesty, integrity, savoir faire and endearing personality were huge assets. But it is none of these that were the seeds of Project WHY. It is Ram the father who planted that seed and carefully watered it till his last breath.
If one was to look at my growing up years, they seem out of a dream: beautiful homes, governesses, criss crossing the world and the best of everything. Ram was aware of this and was careful to place the little notes needed to build a person. He always sent me to local schools where he knew I would rub shoulders with real people and learn to respect and love them. He with the help of my mama laid some unwritten rules that were needed to teach their only child true values. Toys were only bought at Xmas. The new dress was a birthday gift. Wasting food was a no no! But the one lesson that remains engrained is the Diwali blessing. After the prayers were over, Ram would tell me to go and touch the feet of everyone in the house who was older to me. That meant everyone including the staff that worked in our home. What is remarkable is that I never questioned this or resented it and that is because of the simple answer to my first why was: because they are older and will bless you.
Ram taught be compassion but he also taught me to respect every human being irrespective of their caste, creed, social background. With mama’s help he showed me how religion is one and all religions need to be respected. Again it was a well thought lesson plan based on my questions: can I fast with my Muslim friend, go to church, share a Sabbath dinner. The answer was always ‘yes’ with a small caveat: provided it does not hurt the other.
I could write volumes but that is not the point. Today I simply want to express my profound gratitude and unconditional love to the man who made me who I am.
The Sri Ram Goburdhun Charitable Trust was set up to honour his memory and to tell him that every lesson learnt at his knee had been well learnt. And most of all the last one murmured on his deathbed: have faith in India.
I miss him every minute of my life though I see him in every Project WHY child.
by anouradha bakshi | Nov 22, 2016 | Uncategorized
The burning of schools in Kashmir vindicates the belief that education is the most powerful agent of change. Destroying a school destroys the future of children forever. Education is a powerful tool. The question lies in the way you use it.
In the early years of Project Why we were faced with a certain amount of resentment that was even aggressive at times. This bewildered us as in our book education was something everyone should encourage and cherish. But that was not the case with us.
We were ‘evicted’ from the corner of a park by local residents and politicians. It was a clever ploy. We were told that we would be ‘give’ another park and marched to one that was a pig stye, as a local resident reared his pigs in it. The once children park was a stinking rubbish dump. Our detractors must have expected outrage and protest but all they got was a warm Thank You! They had not yet tasted the spirit of Project WHY. If this is what we got, so be it! We would work our magic. A series of negotiations with the owner of the pigs who was known for his muscle flexing and the help of a few friends, not only was the park divided between the hogs and us, we transformed the park into a lovely space. It had a huge yellow tented roof and plants all around.
The truce lasted a year. The next attack was bulldozers. It transpired that the park was now needed to ‘build’ a community centre. We moved lock stock and barrel to the roadside. But classes never stopped. The game continued for a while and then petered down.
It took us a while to understand the reason for such vehement resentment and then the penny dropped. Education was acceptable if it followed the norms, these being teachers from one side of the divide and students from the other. But that was not the Project WHY model, for us teachers and kids came from the same source. That meant social transformation and that was not acceptable. We were changing minds, teaching children to think for themselves, urging them to ask questions and giving them a voice. In short we were empowering a community and that could be dangerous.
Everything in the book was thrown at us from threats to spreading false rumours but we did not budge. We simply wore them down. Education came out the winner and so it will remain
by anouradha bakshi | Nov 15, 2016 | Uncategorized
Like any teenager, Utpal often calls from boarding school to ask for something or the other usually food as at his age kids seem perpetually hungry or for a book of some kind. So when he called last week we were expecting ‘chips’ or ‘cookies’ and were very surprised when the demand was ‘toys’ for a toddler. He knew there were some in the store room, relics of years gone by as the grandson and he became big boys.
The toys were meant for the son of the sister of the lady who runs the canteen, one of his favourite place! Utpal had made friends with little Deepak and in true Utpal style had adopted him. When we visited the canteen with the toys of course we were taken aback when the little fellow jumped out of his mom’s lap and straight into Utpal’s arms. This brought a huge smile on our faces and even a lump in our throats. The love between the two was palpable and quickly confirmed by the mom when she told us that if the little child cried all you had to say was that Utpal was there and the tears stopped mid cheek and little eyes darted in all direction.
Utpal has always been a kind and warm hearted child always willing to share. In spite of being a cool teenager his love for younger children is remarkable and the patience and kindness he shows are moving.
One wonders if compassion is taught or innate. This is a difficult question as in this day and age one sees too little of it around.
Perhaps a bit of both.
One wonders how some children show compassion at an early age. In our list of volunteers we have many children, some now quite grown up but still as compassionate. We have had children who have given up birthday presents and asked their friends to donate to Project Why, we have had children who have sold lemonade or baked cakes to collect money for us. Some older ones have come and taught at Project Why giving up their precious school holidays.
I remember the little girl in an orphanage our school use to take us to when we lived in Saigon who undoubtedly played an important part in making me who I am. I am still haunted by her beautiful black eyes that crinkled when she saw me and smiled. That smile is seared in my heart.
Education is not just teaching the famed 3 Rs. Children have to be taught values and this can only happen if parents and school make that effort wholeheartedly.
I was impressed by an initiative taken St Louis where my grandson lives. It is called READ – RIGHT – RUN. The program’s goal is to develop reading-proficient, community-minded and physically fit children in grades K-5 by challenging them to READ 26 books, RIGHT the community with 26 good deeds, and RUN 26.2 miles over a six-month period. My 6 year old grandson participated and made grandma proud. How wonderful if we had a similar programme for all our children.
It is our duty as elders to teach compassion to our children.
Agastya’s first school was the Project WHY creche and his interaction with children from less privileged homes opened his heart forever.
It is important to water the seed of compassion every child carries in her/his heart and to do that it is imperative to answer disturbing questions with honest answers. Hiding reality or shielding children does more harm than good.
How compassionate a child can be best exemplified in Malte’s story:
Malte was eight when he arrived in Delhi with his parents to live here for four years. The small German boy immediately fell in love with the country. He enjoyed everything: the food, the music, Bollywood movies, the temples, mosques and bazars. Being blond he always attracted a lot of attention everywhere he went. So after a little while he could lead expert conversations on Bollywood actors or cricket with everyone and was blessed with tons of caring kindness.
The only issue that really disturbed him and made his life miserable in Delhi was to see all the poverty and suffering in the streets. Every afternoon returning from his privileged school in Chanakya Puri he passed by a busy traffic light seeing the same beggar children asking for money. It broke his heart to see and hear of their daily struggle. Why did he have such a privileged and enjoyable life while these children of the same age did not even have shoes to wear or clean water to drink. So his sister and he came up with the idea to make small packages of dry fruits to hand out to the street children. But still, that did not feel enough, they were fast finished and nothing had changed. Too much misery for these small packages of sweetness.
When his mother started to work with Project Why Malte heard a lot of slum children also having a difficult life but now thanks to Project Why with a chance to learn and alter their future. One Saturday morning he came along and saw by himself how a small group of committed people was trying to make a longer-lasting difference for a lot of kids. He was amazed to meet with the children, see their smiles on their faces and their eagerness to learn. A couple of weeks later he took his cub scout group to white-wash the newly renovated Okhla Centre. They all joined hands with the Project Why children to make the centre colourful and even more a happy place to be. And he felt a deep joy. He finally found a way and place where poverty was not accepted as a fate but as challenge to overcome! And where he – a ten year old boy – could make a difference.
So he decided with his 2 friends Stefan and Scottie to do even more. They came up with the idea of running a donation drive in their school. They designed colourful posters to show Project Why’s work, asked the special kids to colour and decorate traditional piggy banks (gulak) to collect donations. With everything prepared they got up really early for one week during the freezing month of December, built up their stand at the school entrance and asked all children, teachers and parents passing by to give a donation for Project Why. Even the school principal and the American Ambassador were impressed and eagerly squeezed their donation in one of the gulaks. And with raised funds Project Why could buy a Bamboo roof for the Okhla centre giving shelter to the students during the harsh summer and winter months.
Since then Malte feels part of the Project Why family, asking about the different children, always happy to join his mother for a visit. Again and again he gives away his pocket money to buy school supplies. And every time he is overwhelmed by the poverty in India he thinks of something new he can do for Project Why knowing that at least his friends there will enjoy a different future.
So how do children like Utpal and Malte, both from opposite sides of the world learn compassion?
My guess is that they are the blessed few who see with their hearts.
