by Anuradha Bakshi | Sep 7, 2009 | God of lesser beings
It was PTM time again. The reason for this PTM being so close to the previous one, was that the children are beginning their exams on the 14th and will be busy till early next month. As usual it was a pleasure to see them smiling and happy and full of stories to tell.
We spent some time sharing their world. It is amazing how easy it is to forget one’s troubles and woes, albeit briefly, and revel in tales of missing shoes and stolen goodies. We of course could not resist adult pontificating about the virtues of sharing and the wisdom of looking after one’s possessions. Adults will be adults! But all in all we did spend some quality time being kids again and thus recharged our own batteries. It was a wonderful moment. We left the children with ample goodies and lots of hugs.
The ride back was as always spent in silence. Moments like these are precious and rare and need to be savoured and enjoyed to the fullest. Yet slowly, the mind started traveling back and forth and images of what is, what could have been and what will perhaps be began spilling over. Each of these incredible kids could easily have been living a life of despair. Was not Babli the very little girl who barely three years ago sat on cart selling tobacco and biscuits? And Vicky the babe in arms in a family struggling to survive? And little Utpal would have easily been the scalded child begging at a street corner to pay for his parent’s daily dose of hooch? yes all this could have happened had not the God of lesser beings decided otherwise and set his incredible miracle making machine to work. Angels of shade and hues appeared from across the universe and set to create the enabling conditions needed to transform the lives of these children. And in no time everything fell in place. Today these children are busy making up for lost time and reclaiming their lost childhood. And as for what tomorrow holds, only the God of lesser beings knows. All we can say is that anything is possible.
As these thoughts crowded my mind, my heart filled with a deep sense of gratitude and indebtedness to all those who made it all happen and above all to the God of lesser beings who has over the years always walked with us and shown us the way.
Share a few moments of this wonderful and blessed morning
by Anuradha Bakshi | Sep 1, 2009 | God of lesser beings
There is a buzz in the air. In a little town in Spain another book sale is organised by our dear friends Irene, Andy and Mike; in Singapore the Indian Women’s Association organises and NGO Forum and project why is one of the featured organisations. The project is presented by our dear friend Kim Hoh who hates speaking in public and yet overcomes his distaste and gives a voice to the hopes and dreams of 800 children. A supporter launches a campaign that aims at setting up a library for project why. Our world our stories is a new initiative where you simply click to join the cause and we get a step closer to our library. Project why is in the air! Wow! Wonder what we did to deserve this.
I must confess that the past few weeks have been rather grim. News of donors pulling back recession oblige, delays in securing funds for our ambitious yet needed sustainability programme, and more of the same had made spirits sink low. And then just as I was trying to kick start myself again, project why was in the air. All these wonderful initiatives that made me once again believe that notwithstanding obstacles, hope prevailed and all would be well.
It let my thoughts travel back in time and as memories were resurrected I realised how over the years project why had survived and thrived thanks to the good will of people the world over who almost miraculously appeared when things looked dark and scary. It was almost as if the God of lesser beings was sending us messages in his own inimitable way. The messages were always subtle almost ethereal: a child sending her pocket money, someone giving up birthday gifts, another wedding presents, someone organising a bake sale.. small gestures of hope and love that make us believe in what we are doing and gives us the strength to carry on.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Aug 26, 2009 | God of lesser beings, women centre
As I writes these words, little Meher is on her way home after her second surgery. She now looks like any tiny girl and not the little ET she had been for the past three months with her huge expanders. Meher will now look just like any other 4 year old, barring a a few scars and her odd looking hands. Since her first surgery that took place a few months ago she has been living at the women centre and has walked into many hearts. Needless to say she is a true free spirit imbibed with a rare zest for life.
I still remember the day she walked into my life and my heart. I knew she had come to stay. I must confess that we were all a little taken aback by the attitude of her parents and their total lack of concern for this child. Every morning she was let out of their tiny home and left to her won device. It all seemed as if everyone wanted to wish hear away but did not quite know how. We were appalled at the lack of interest of her parents in her treatment; her mom even left her two months ago to go to the village where her baby brother was born. For the past months she was cared for by the women centre staff and every night one of the teachers spent the night with her. She enthralled every one with her antics. No one escaped her special brand of love.
For her parents she was an impediment, a burden no one wanted to carry. With her scars and her maimed hands she would never be marriage material, and was marriage not the ultimate goal of a girl’s life? But Meher is a live wire, someone you cannot ignore. She will not let you do that. Her joie de vivre is infectious and she has the ability to lift your spirits, no matter how low they are.
She has been given a new lease of life, and knowing her, she will make sure she lives life to its fullest and prove to everyone that she is worth believing in. If all goes well, she will join the little band of pwhy children in boarding school and I have no doubt that she will astound us all. Meher is a child of the God of lesser beings, just like her special pal and soul mate Utpal. They are children who have come a long way and know that life is precious.
May The God of lesser beings always walk with them!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Aug 20, 2009 | God of lesser beings
Yesterday the God of Lesser beings reclaimed what was rightfully his: Nanhe’s smile. Yes, you heard it right little Nanhe is no more with us, he left for a better world taking his smile with him. I still do not know how I will make it through today and days to come, I had got addicted to his smile.
And yet we all knew that this smile was in custody and never rightfully ours. Over the past 5 years we have feared for it many many times, fought for it and felt relieved each time it has come back to us. And he too held on to his smile no matter what, and came back as if on cue to light our lives and made us forget how fragile it really was.
Over the past five years Nanhe and his smile have defied every rule in the book, every doctor’s prognostic and stood firm. And though we knew he had no tomorrows, he made us believe that he had many and we did believe him. Even when we were told that he needed a brand new kidney and logic screamed that the end was near. He simply survived every challenge and was back with his smile. With him miracles were every day occurrences! Nanhe simply defied every obstacle that came his way,
The last few weeks had been relatively uneventful: some sniffles, a bout of indigestion – normal for one who loves samosas -! Last week he had a nasty fall in his home but he was back his smile in place looking a little lopsided amidst the bruises and stitches. He was in class two days back, looking his usual happy self. It is only yesterday that he did not come and we thought nothing of it. How were we to know that finally the God of Lesser Beings would decide this was the day to reclaim what had always been rightfully His.
Mornings will never be the same. I will never be greeted by that very special blessed smile that made me believe that nothing was impossible and that miracles did happen.
I am lost.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 21, 2009 | God of lesser beings
Remember little Radha, the elf with brittle bone disease, the one who even appeared on national TV and who twirls like a dervish? The one we love so much and fear for? Well thanks to a kind supporter and friend Radha was examined yesterday by a top orthopedic surgeon and a paediatric surgeon in one of the swankiest hospital of our city.
In the early evening Radha set out with her teacher Shamika and Tiphanie an occupational therapist from France. The little child was frightened and awestruck as she entered the portals of what would have looked to her like a fairy land. She held on to her teacher and did not utter a word. Soon they were in the examining room and the doctors got to work. The child was petrified but did not move or fuss. The examination was soon over and the doctors gave their verdict: Radha would need rodding surgery, a complex series of operations that would straighten her curved bones and perhaps reduce the frequency of her fractures and maybe get her to walk. The decision proclaimed the doctors would be the mother’s. We knew it would have to be ours.
Rodding surgery in any osteogenis imperfecta case is not a cure but simply stabilizes the bones and may improve the quality of life of the patient. A perusal of any article on OI shows that what the child needs is to be handled with care. I wonder how that is possible when you live in a hole in a slum! What goes by the name of home is a hornet’s nest where even the most basic task is fraught with dangers. It is no wonder that Radha has in her short life had more than 50 fractures! Were she to undergo a series of complex surgeries there is no way she could live in this home. She would need safer moorings.
Do we or don’t we. We are faced with an existential question. In her present situation little Radha’s leads as normal a life as possible: she eats, sleeps, plays with her siblings, even looks after the younger ones. She comes to pwhy where she learns, dances, plays and even fights with her classmates. She is handled with as much care as possible. Sometimes a false movement or a forgotten object results in a snapped bone, a trip to the government hospital and the ensuing cast, but Radha is a pro at that by now. In the present situation her bones are deteriorating. In the past month she has lost the use of one of her arms as her bones are slowly bending. In the present situation she may lose the use of the other and then become unable to feed herself or even write. Would the operation solve that. Not quite as the doctors are only talking of her leg bones. How many surgeries would one need to rectify all her problems.
Rodding surgery is complex and lengthy. Her post op care would above all need a clean and hygienic environment where she can heal her bones as the risk of infection is huge. Surgery would mean long absence from all that is familiar to little Radha: her home, her family, her school, her friends. It would entail pain and loneliness for yet unknown results. But one thing is sure: she would never be cured.
Do we or don’t we. Even with surgery Radha will never have a normal life, the kind a girl from a family like hers can aspire for: a marriage and a family of her own. She may be able to get some education, and learn some skill but in a society like ours where does it get her. She would always need to be handled with care and thus need someone to do so.
Doctors give their opinions without assessing the whole situation. They simply see the ailment and the best medical treatment available. But we have to have the courage and grit to view the situation as a whole and see how best to act. At this moment I am unable to decide what to do. I hope the God of lesser beings will once again guide my steps.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 12, 2009 | God of lesser beings, manu
Don’t despair! Something will come along, and not just because it has to but because no one will let anything happen to the Project wrote a friend in a mail that dropped my way this morning. Did she sense that I was terribly troubled, or was this a message from the heaven’s above, I do not know. But the warm words felt like balm on a hurting heart! Wonder who the no one is; maybe my friend the God of Lesser beings who has always been there for us.
It is true that I am worried: our sponsor a child programme is just not taking off the way I would have liked it to and compassion seems to have gone AWOL in this times of recession. Each day we get our share of blows big and small and can only take them standing and not dare move. Many may wonder why one does not close shop or at least cut costs. The question is valid and deserves a proper answer. One cannot close shop because too many morrows depend on us: whether it is those of the little and bigger children in school who risk the danger of dropping out were we to shut our doors or the motley crew of special souls who can only claim their right to laugh or smile within the four walls of their project why class. In all we are talking of 800 morrows, no mean number you will agree. One cannot close shop because Manu and Anjali would be on the streets as they have no family but pwhy.
As for cutting costs believe you me we have tried our very best. Our classrooms are jam packed, our teaching staff is minimal and our administration the leanest possible. Moreover we cannot move out of the flat where Manu and Anjali live because no one is willing to rent their premises to house lost souls like them. The only thing we have managed to do is make maximum use of the space available and hence the rooms in the foster care house 4 classes during the day. So the only option available to us is to try and reinvent our ways of seeking help and hone our ability to make people see with their hearts. Something will come along is what I have to believe. So help me God!
