by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 19, 2008 | fostercare
I had written a post a long time back when I had been touched by a simple unexpected gesture coming from a little boy. One does not expect such acts by children belonging to what is called poor homes! And yet one does need to be born in a manor to have impeccable manners.
Yesterday morning Xavier and I went to the foster care to share a cup of tea with the children. AS we arrived they has just finished breakfast and we pulled up two chairs and set with them. Soon the tea arrived. Manu who sat as usual at tho head of the table was a tad fidgety and one could not fathom why as he has been all smiles since he has moved into his own place!
Before I go on I must explain to you the lay out of the veranda of the foster care. In the center there is a dining table and in one corner are two easy chairs with a coffee table.
After a while Manu got up and walked to the easy chairs. He cleaned the table with his hand and then gestured to xavier to come and sit in one of them. As I was busy talking he loudly called out Ma’am yahan a (ma’am come here) pointing to the other chair. I did as told and carried my cup of tea with me. He then pulled up a dining chair and sat with us a huge smile on his face.
Manu has spent most of his 36 years roaming the streets. He was what one may call a beggar. His own family was rather uncouth and coarse and most of the people who crossed his path were the same. Yet the day he gets a home, Manu the mentally and physically challenged soul behaves like a perfect host!
I wonder what it takes to be to the manor born!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 13, 2008 | fostercare
Once upon a time there was a young man named Manu. The Gods had not been kind to him as he was sent to earth almost 40 years ago with a fractured mind and a wobbly body. His mom like all moms did tend to this odd child with care and love and he spend his early years in security.
But the Gods intervened again and took his mother away. Manu was left to the care of two small sisters who did show him some compassion. But as all young boys he too wanted to discover the world and venture out of the four walls of his tiny dark hovel.
True the sun was bright, the winds soothing and the roads full of new things waiting to be stumbled upon. But Manu did not know that he did not look like others as he crawled on his useless legs and did not understand that beyond the sun, the wind and all natures bounty existed people who were never kind to anyone who did not look like them. But Manu’s spirit was indomitable and he set out to find out what life was.
Soon his sisters got married and the little love that could heal the day’s scorn disappeared. In its place came a daunting sister-in-law whose bards were worse than those he had to bear with. The one safe walls became threatening and Manu started spending his night roaming the streets. His drunk dad had no time for him. His clothes got tattered, his hair unruly, and is body infested with wounds. Kids threw stones at him just to hear him scream, car drivers revelled in scaring him and sometimes hit him.
Sometimes a kind soul would hurl abuses at the family and Manu was given a bath and his head was shaved. Poeple fed him as you would an animal, if we got too hungry he would rummage through garbage dumps. People would shun him. His sister in law would send him to beg at the local temple and promptly appropriate the few coins that would be in his torn pocket. Everyone would commiserate on is miserable plight and wish him to die wondering what sin he must have committed for such a life.
But he soldiered on, weathering all storms, spending nights in the bitter cold, lying alone after a severe epileptic fit, dehydrated under the scorching sun, bearing all abuse and not giving up life as if he knew that it was not yet over and that something would happen the next day. God ways are mysterious and he had a plan for him. Manu the seemingly useless, pathetic, forsaken soul had his own mission, one that still needed to be unravelled and though he could not express it, he knew he had to carry on.
Then one day someone came his way and stopped. In his eyes and the beginning of a smile she saw what she was looking for and felt that this was a blessed moment for both of them. In her mind flashed an image: Manu in his own home, having his own bed and living a life of dignity and hope. But the road to that dream was to be a long one. And all along the way many lives would be transformed. Manu’s life changed slowly. And though he was safe during the day, his nights were still spent roaming lonely streets.
Soon he had friends just like him who reached out to him. Warm meals came his way as well as a daily bath. He learnt to dance, to sing, to learn basic skills. He went for outings and birthday parties and even the movies. But the final destination seemed still a chimera. Then some time back the idea of foster care home emerged and it was with incomprehensible fervour that all worked towards its creation.
Two days back Manu had his home. A soft bed, a TV, roomies, caretakers who became pals. Everyone wondered how he would react to this new life so different from the one he had lived for years. But all fears were set aside as he spent his first night sleeping like a baby after having watched TV and eaten a warm meal. Yesterday evening Manu even took charge of his home as he ordered the evening meal of potatoes and rotis, his favourite treat and even asked to call Shamika and tell her what he had done. Like all fairy tales, this one too must end with: and he lived happily forever!
I must confess that after that telephone call, both Shamika and I wept like babies!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 12, 2008 | fostercare
This picture is very special. It is a snapshot of the first breakfast shared by the inmates of our foster care programme. But is is much more than that. It is the inalienable proof that everything is possible provided you are truly committed to see it happen.
Who would have believed that someone who had lived like a beggar for years, rejected by his own family, shunned by society could one day sleep in a comfortable bed and share a meal with friends and pals.
And there is more who would have thought that a bunch of kids born with almost everything against them could one day aspire to reach any destination they chose to. This is not a moment to be proud of but a moment to be grateful for as what we are witnessing is nothing short of a miracle and miracle are not made by humans, they are of the realm of the celestial.
But miracles are fragile and heavenly beings testy. The onus rests on us to ensure that the miracle does not go awry. If it were to happen than the magic could never be recreated; huge cracks would remain and the future of innocent souls would be jeopardized.
A tall order its is. One where each one of us has to learn to rise above our own limitations, our egos, our individual ideas our likes and dislikes and work towards the commitment we have accepted with our eyes open and willingly. The situation is complex as most of these kids have heavy pasts and atavistic instincts that belong to a world where options are few and pitfalls many. Our challenge is to prepare them for a world where choices are limitless and rewarding.
Each one of us would love to spoil them, smother with love and care but that would be counterproductive and would not help them make the tough transition they have to make. And above all we all need to speak in the same language and respect the same rules as nothing is a better teacher than example.
This programme came our way not by choice but due to a series of unforeseen circumstances. But today it is a reality and gone are the times when we could still debate its validity or rationale. At best we can decide to close it once these little kids are in a boarding school and we find another similar option for Manu and Champa! But these little souls have to get our very best as towards them we have a life long commitment.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 12, 2008 | fostercare, planet why, two indias
“Creation is a manifestation of the one’s many ideas… every idea one step away from being alone… The meaning is for us to discover. Creation is only a stimulus. All we have to do is respond. And respond well. Everything is a great question waiting for a great answer.” Al Raines
These words dropped quietly into my inbox this morning. A quote from a just published book appropriately called Soul Search Engine. Prophetic words for one who spent the night searching for answers and wishing for sibylline insight.
Project Why has, over the past 8 years, sprung a string of questions needing answers and we have have to their best of our ability attempted to find the appropriate ones. Some have been easy, some more demanding and some even troubling. Yet each one has been portent of a stronger will, a greater manifestation, and each no matter how difficult or seemingly impossible has found a relevant answer.
The past weeks have been a roller coaster ride where dreams and reality have somehow taken a life of their own and left us all breathless and bewildered. We find ourselves with more than we visualised and planned. The foster care programme was not part of our original plans. And yet when it come our way we somehow knew it was to be. No matter how huge or daunting there was something compelling us to embrace it. It was a great question that required us to find a great answer.
From the instant we decided to once again walk the road less or actually never traveled, we have been faced with a deluge of adverse reactions, some biting , some more gentle; some steeped in cynicism, some simply seasoned with caution. This of course led us to try and assess the situation in the hope of discovering the true cause of such a backlash.
What we are trying to do is simply give a few children a chance to a better morrow. It was time to delve further and find out the reality. Somehow the situation was akin to the one I had faced many years ago when the apparently harmless work I was doing had led to a vicious attack from local powers that be. At first I had been perplexed and at a loss to explain matters. I was only attempting to educate slum children. I understood later that the real reason for the onslaught was that I had dared disturbed the existing social fabric and what was held against me was that I had empowered people particularly by giving teaching jobs to people who were meant to do menial ones.
Once again by giving hope to a few children of a Lesser God we were again guilty of the same deadly sin. One did not disturbed existing patterns. To have the audacity to do so was anathema to everyone. In a land where society has been divided in every which way possible, comfort zones have been created and we have all sunk into them, this is part of our atavistic fears. What is troubling is that this attitude is prevalent not only with the illiterate multitude, but even with the likes of us who are supposedly educated. There are things good for us, and things good for them. My child had the right to an IIT whereas their children can only reach the portals of a Polytechnic. What is even more disturbing is that in spite of the apparent economic and social growth of our land, the disparity between them and us has grown with quantum leaps, part of a tacit covenant.
Thus any attempt, no matter how tiny and infinitesimal at truly bridging the gap is bound to be met with strong resistance. Sadly few will have the honesty and courage to accept this fact and will find a host of reasons to explain their reticence: too much money spend for too few, money that could be used for a large number and so on. One will just have to find the right words to counter the attacks and maybe gently lead them to some honest soul searching.
That much for the biting and cynical detractors, but we also need to address the fears and apprehensions of the gentle critics urging us to caution. And I must confess that at the initial stages I was one of them. It is easy to help children the way we have done for years. Giving them a few hours of sound learning and happy moments and seeing them go back to their homes is a safe option. But when one takes the step of wrenching a child from one world and taking them to another, the equation changes. We are not talking of a few hours but of long years, each with its set of challenges. And even though we can sit and plan to the minutest detail, there is no guarantee that things will go our way. We may hope and think and pray that things go well, they may also go wrong and it is essential that we build safety nets at each step to counter them. What me must never forget is that each child that comes our way becomes our responsibility one that we have to fulfill all the way finding the best solution to every problem that may appear.
The easy way could be to once again find a via media, a solution that would assuage the situation and allow us to sink back in our comfort zones but can we actually do so now. It is once again a matter of some serious soul searching!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 11, 2008 | fostercare
I was recently asked to write a blurb that would describe project why. I knew this was no mean task as in many ways pwhy defies all logic and all attempts at containing it within any limits are vain.
I did set about trying to find the few words that would at best describe who and what we are and was soon lost in the maze of all the things we have done in the past 8 years. Are we an education oriented organisation; but then why do we fix broken hearts. Are we a children’s organisation then why do we reach out to women? Are we based in Delhi, then why do we help children like the ones in this picture?
Risteh, Yogita and Rahul live in Rohtak. They are very bright kids and are doing extremely well in their studies. A few months back their father, a mechanic in an elecronic shop, suffered a major accident that left him incapacitated and hence he lost his work and the ability to earn again. He was the sole earner of he family. Their mother who is illiterate can barely bring food on the table. Their school fees were not paid. And they were on the verge of being thrown out. Their plight was brought to our notice quite back accident. Needless to say we decided to help them could we have done otherwise.
So coming back to trying to seek a set of parameters that would define project why should we say that we are an organisation that functions by accident and twists of fate. Not a very pretty picture ans certainly not one that would endear us to anyone. And yet is not true that it all began because of one day Manu came into our lives by accident..
I would rather think of these as a series of serendipities that are orchestrated by the ones that I like calling the God of Lesser Beings, the one to whom distraught mothers send desperate prayers and who works in his own ways.
So are we just an answer to prayers? I guess not as that would not explain planet why or the foster care programme as these emanate from our own desires and dreams. I guess I will one again have to go back to the Little Prince and the Fox and their secret and simply say:
Project why is where you see with your heart!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 2, 2008 | fostercare
When one embarks on a new journey one is always a little scared and a tad nervous particularly if one is an adult and the journey is somewhat uncharted. It is not so with children. For them everything new is a thrilling adventure be it a walk to the nearby park or cruise around the world.
This indubitable yet oft forgotten truth was brought to the fore as I watched three of the little pioneers of our foster care cum scholarship programme have their first ever class with Andy Bhaiyya. If one needed any reassurance about the worth of this programme, a single look at these children was ample proof that we were on the right track.
Just a week back these little souls lived their run-of-the-mill existence. A few hours at project why and then back to their tiny homes where life was not easy particularly in the bitter cold. For little Babli it was even worse as she went to a school where no teacher ever taught and her dreams of becoming a police seemed thwarted with obsessive regularity.
So when we decided to give her this chance she grabbed it with both hands and her eagerness to do everything well was palpable as she took on the role of the elder in the tiny group. And while we are still planning and fine tuning matters, our little pioneers are already on the way, their hunger for knowledge reflected in their eager looks and trusting eyes.
God bless them and walk with them…
