by anouradha bakshi | Dec 17, 2019 | Anou's Blog
Last Sunday our dear friend Damyanti organised a blogger’s meet. Though it was around her bestselling novel You Beneath Your Skin, her main aim was to have the two charities her book supports come and share their work and success stories. Stop Acid Attacks was represented by Ritu Saini , a young acid survivor and Project Why by Rani, Anita, Kiran and Sanjay. The main topic was violence against women and what can be done to stop it.
It was a cozy meet with a few bloggers and us and hence it was easy to talk and share what each one of us felt.
I was deeply moved by Ritu’s testimony but what truly shook me was two statements this young and feisty survivor made. The first one was that she was grateful to her attacker as the attack was what made it possible for her to break free from the restricting walls of her life and come to in the open and receive so much love. And the other was that she would like to ask her attacker without any acrimony what went in his head when he perpetrated that terrible act because she never wanted anyone to ever feel that way! Wise words from such a young soul. Ritu was 17 when tragedy struck and is in her early twenties now. I pondered on what she said and realised how true she was. Had there be no acid attack her life would have been that of any young girl from her community, confined to the walls of first her paternal home and then her marital one. It is the attack that propelled out of that world into one where she could find an identity and a voice. Today she advocates for acid attack survivors in more ways than one. Ritu is also part of the cast of Chhapaak the film soon to be released.
Her other almost candid question addresses the one we all ask and seek answers to: what is the root cause of violence against women? The answer is very complex and sadly there are no quick fixes as violence against women is deep seated into the patriarchal society we live in where boys and girls are not treated equally even by their own mothers. It is all about mindsets and changing mindsets is long haul.
In my opinion education is the only way this can happen, but again education has to be one that is not set in a patriarchal mould. This is what we strive to achieve at project why. The stories shared by Rani, Anita and young Kiran are ample proof of the fact that education can bring about a real transformation.
Rani would have been married off at a young age and would have lived within the restricting walls of a traditional marital home but was able to break free because she came to us and never looked back. She completed her education, opened her horizons and lived life her way. That does not mean she went haywire as many think women do if given a modicum of freedom. Rani is now married and a mother but has broken free of the shackles of patriarchy.
Anita too found her voice thanks to Project Why and was able to complete her higher education and refuse a marriage when the dowry demands were unreasonable. She was ready to live on her own terms.
Education is the only way to put an end to violence against women. It is a slow process indeed but a sure one. School curriculum needs to be altered to include lessons on gender equality and sex education. It needs to be able to slowly change mindsets so that tomorrow’s mothers do not differentiate between sons and daughters; so that boys grow up respecting women as individuals and peers; so that no code of silence is imposed on anyone.
Addressing all these issues was empowering and I hope that those who were present will use their pen and voice to share these stories and show that things can change. One only needs to take the first step.
by anouradha bakshi | Dec 10, 2019 | Anou's Blog
In September we launched the Adopt a Teacher Campaign. This was a new approach at fundraising whereby we asked people to ‘adopt’ a teacher as we felt that teachers are the cornerstone of our organisation and that without them there would be no Project Why! The campaign was part of our effort in finding new avenues of funding in the wake of losing our largest donor in March 2020. The reality was that if we did manage to get our 41 teachers adopted, we would be safe. Some warmed up to the idea immediately, others felt it would not succeed. True it was a shot in the dark but in our situation it was imperative to try any and everything.
A month long campaign was launched in Facebook in September and the initial response was lukewarm. We got a couple of teachers adopted but nothing to write home about. But we did not give up and this December decided to push the campaign again, as a Xmas initiative. Today 16 teachers have been adopted and this is heartwarming.
Who are the people who have reached out? Quite a motley crowd. We have some individuals, some families that have come together, some friends that have also got together, staff of an office, one Foundation that is a regular donor, one Funding Institution who is again a regular donor. Most picked up one teacher but one generous donor who choses to remain anonymous picked up four!
So even if we are not even close to the half way mark, we really feel that we will be able to meet our target.
This Xmas we urge you to ‘adopt’ a teacher. By doing this you will be reaching out to over 50 children and helping them transform their lives and fulfil their dreams. It is these very teachers who for the past years have patiently taught their students and helped them move from class to class and finish school. Some of these students were deemed failures and doomed to drop out, but with love and determination these very teachers ensured that this did not happen. Not only did they bring them back on track but even helped them do well, many even topping their class. And above all ensured that they pass out of school with respectable marks.
Today Project Why alumni are doing well and working in various fields. Some have chosen to pursue higher studies and done well. None of this could have been possible without the very teachers we are asking you to adopt today.
If we are not able to meet our goal, we may have to close one or more of our centres as we have lost our largest donor. We need to make up the shortfall by March 2020.
So please help us get all our teachers adopted by joining our Xmas initiative.
Merry Xmas to all!
by anouradha bakshi | Dec 3, 2019 | Anou's Blog
Saturday 30th November was a very special day. Students of CSKM school were coming to visit their Project Why friends. Normally about 40 children come every year but this year over 80 wanted to come. This necessitated some adjustments and it was finally convened that the boys would come to Khader and the girls Yamuna. The boys were to be led by Utpal and the girls by Babli. They both got special permission to come. Everyone was very excited. It promised to be a fun filled day. The girls were to have lunch at the Yamuna centre and the boys were bringing their lunch with them to eat at the Khader centre. Game were being planned and gifts were being packed.The day was that much more special as our dearest Xavier Ray was there to share with us.
Come Saturday and we were all waiting for the buses to come. They reached on time and we were surprised to see the number of packets carried in. They were accompanied by two teachers Mr Singh and Mr Tiwari. The boys also carried a huge container which we presumed was their lunch! It did not take long for everyone to settle in. The children sat in mixed groups and it was game time. Everyone was having a ball. One could hear giggles and laughter, friends meeting friends and catching up. Utpal was the perfect master of ceremonies. After some time one heard music and the stage was set or dancing. We had some stellar individual performances and everyone was a winner.
But soon it was almost time for our children to leave as they had to go to school. That is when it was revealed that the chow mien they had bought was for our children; the CSKM lads would have lunch when they got back to school. They had brought plates and forks and were all set to dole the treat out to our kids. That is not all. The CSKM children had spent the past few evenings making gifts for our kids: origami birds and butterflies. These too were distributed as where the caps. And in the midst of it all it was photo time with our children. There were more goodies – peanut candy – for the afternoon shift at Project Why and stationery that would be distributed later. In the meantime Dharmendra organised samosas and ladoos for the CSKM kids and these were distributed and eaten with relish. I was soon time to go. Everyone was a little sad to see the CSKM boys go. Goodbye Children. Till we meet again.
Another bus reached the floodplain of the Yamuna river and our Yamuna centre. These were the CSKM girls with their two teachers Vandana Ma’am and Nishi Ma’am. A warm welcome awaited them. They too carried many boxes to be given to the Project Why kids. They played games and danced and had a merry time. It was again smiles and giggles. Babli was the perfect MC ably helped by our very own Kiran, a CSKM alumni!
It was lunch time and as the Project Why children settled to have lunch the CSKM girls decided to visit the fields and go to the bank of the river. It was selfie time and the girls went overboard clicking selfies. Soon it was lunch time and the girls settled down to savour the lunch graciously sent by Kabir Suri of Azure hospitality. After which caps and stationery were distributed as well as the orgimani creations so lovingly made. But as always time flew too fast and it was time to go. ‘We love you‘ said the girls. We love you too dear children. Au revoir!
For me it was a very special day as it validated my belief that children from all walks of life are made to be together and learn from each other. I have a great respect for Dr Shakuntala Jaiman the Principal of CSKM who walks the talk and ensures that all barriers are broken. She immediately warmed up to the idea of having regular interaction between her school and Project Why, something we truly cherish.
It is not what is learnt in books that will help the children succeed in life. It is values like compassion and skills like leadership that will stand them fast. This is what is learnt when CSKM visits Project Why.
There was another special moment that happened on that hallowed day. Xavier and Utpal came together after a long time. A beautiful love story that needs to be celebrated as one of the proudest moment of Project Why
by anouradha bakshi | Nov 26, 2019 | Anou's Blog
For the almost 10 years now students of the senior classes of Gefion Gymnasium upper secondary school Copenhagen have been visiting Project Why every year to spend some time and interact with our children. This is part of their annual study tour to India. Their teachers felt that it was important for the students to see more than just tourist spots, and learn about the real India. This year we were privileged to welcome the students and teachers of class 2 L to our Okhla and Yamuna centres. The students not only learn about India before coming but raise money for Project Why. They work in their free time in shops and restaurants, in amusement parks and football stadia, in bakeries and cinemas, babysit and clean homes to collect money for Project Why.
A big thank you to Ellen Klebak, Ellen Eva Balshev, Anna May Marsh, Emilie Kroyer Kopek, Frida, Hannah, Freya Gudkov, Frida N Vangsbo, Kamille, Otto, Clara Engmark, Sander, Thamea, Haralld, Freya Stage, Julius, Laura, Casper, Albert, Thea and Emil. We are truly grateful and deeply touched and humbled by your love and support.
It was fun and laughter as children from two worlds came together for a few hours, blond heads mingling with dark ones, building invisible bonds of love and compassion. A few bubbles and balloons was all it took to create true magic. I watched from the wings with moist eyes.
I have tremendous respect for Gefion Gymnasium as it truly understands the meaning of education and imparts values like compassion to their students. I know that this will make their students better human beings. I hope they all fulfil their dreams .
It was wonderful to see Ask again but we missed Mette. We do hope to see them all again in 2020.
by anouradha bakshi | Nov 19, 2019 | Anou's Blog
Last Thursday, November 14th, was Children’s Day. In every school celebrations are planned with fervour. At Project Why we had planned a Sports Day for the Govindpuri and Giri Nagar centres and essay and painting competitions. In CSKM, Utpal’s school it was the annual fete with rides and fun activities and of course scrumptious food stalls! By the 13th evening everything was organised and everyone was looking forward to the next morning. Late in the evening an announcement was made by the anti-pollution authority: in view of the very severe pollution schools would remain closed on the 14th and 15th.
I immediately called my staff and told them to cancel the Sports Day and some time later we got a message fro CSKM that the fete stood cancelled! So much for Children’s day.
Closing schools because of pollution may seem the right thing to do as you would think that children will spend the day within their homes with air purifiers but what about the slum kids. They do not have rooms where they can sit comfortably and breathe pure air. These children live in tiny spaces and spend most of the time ‘playing’ on the highly polluted roads where cars and trucks whizz past. A holiday means more time on the street. Closing schools does not help them in any way. It would be better if the state mandated all schools, particularly state run ones, to have air purifiers and even extend school hours! But that is not the way it is. Every thing is tailored to the needs of one side of the divide.
My heart goes out to the boarding school kids who wait for the annual fete the whole year. My heart goes out to all the persons who set up their stalls and rides in the hope of making some money that would fill up their empty coffers and who see their much awaited source of income vanish for no fault of theirs. My heart goes out to all the children of the other side of the divide who will spend their day(s) breathing in more fumes.
What makes me sad and angry at the same time is the that that this scenario happens every year, with obsessive regularity. Come September and we all start talking pollution. We vent our ire. We take out processions, write articles, rant and rave. The authorities kick in knee jerk measures that have scant effect on the pollution. Construction is stopped and hordes of workers are without income. For a daily wager it is disastrous. The ad hoc ‘labour’ markets that appear every morning at specific locations lie empty. This is where skilled and unskilled workers congregate in the hope that some contractor will pick them up for a day or more’s work. Some must have returned to their villages; others huddle in circles in the smog playing cards to while away time hoping that construction will resume soon, before their meagre savings are over.The odd even car scheme kicks in and everyone complies. Courts intervene and admonish the authorities while passing strictures that often go unheard. And then as winter passes and the pollution dips all is forgotten till next year when the whole drama unfolds again.
How long will this continue? When will we understand the gravity of the matter, the fact that pollution kills or maims for life. That children who breathe toxic fumes will suffer lifelong ailments. When will we understand that no authority holds the magic wand to set things right. That it is for each one of us to play our part and change our mindsets. This is a million dollar question.
Children’s day 2019 was a sad one indeed. Schools were decorated with balloons and streamers but remained eerily silent as not a child entered their portals. No sound of laughter or giggles, no songs or dances. Just the stark realisation of how we adults had usurped children of their right to BREATHE. Unless we remedy to this now, we will never be forgiven.
by anouradha bakshi | Nov 12, 2019 | Anou's Blog
For the past weeks now Delhi has been akin to a gas chamber. The levels of pollution have gone beyond imagination. The air is heavy with pollutants of all kinds. There is a terrible sense of deja vu as I read a post written exactly one year ago which still relevant today. It is as if time had stood still. I chose to share it with you again today:
Come November and the pollution levels in Delhi run amok.This happens year after year, and year after year knee jerk measures are taken to be forgotten when pollution levels drop. Crisis management is what we thrive on. Long term measures are not the preferred route.
November brings its heady toxic mix of stubble burning and festive crackers laced with unfavourable weather conditions and thus aggravates the situation forcing upon us the short term measures we have now become used to. Construction has been stopped for 10 days, stone crushing and other polluting activities have been halted. Crackers sale is prohibited till Diwali day and then too burning of crackers have been limited my the Supreme Court for two hours on the festival night.
The air quality is extremely hazardous and Delhi feels like a gas chamber. Political blame game is at its peak as citizens are coping in the best way the can. The privileged simply chose to leave the city for healthier spaces in or even outside India, those who cannot leave sit in their homes with state-of-the-art air purifiers and travel in air conditioned vehicles. But there is a vast majority who have no option but to carry on their activities as it is a matter of survival. They do not have the luxury of taking off or sitting in a air purified home. They just have to breathe and exhale whatever quality the air is hazardous or unhealthy.
And for many all the measures taken to better air quality translates into loss of work and livelihood. With construction work at a halt, thousands of daily wage labourers have no source of income and will have to dig in their meagre resources to survive till the ban is lifted. My heart goes out to them. Theirs will be a dark Diwali.
The question that begs to be asked is why do we have to face this situation year aft year and what can be done. We seem to believe that it is for the government to weave a magic wand and clear the air. None of us is willing to assume responsibility and see what each one of us can do. Climate change will affect us all. The day will dawn when there will be no place to run and when all the money in the world will not be able to buy us a whiff of fresh air.
Charity begins at home it is said. It is also said one must lead by example. So let us do some soul searching and see whether we are playing our part. How many of us have given up using plastic bags? How many of us segregate our garbage? How many of us carpool? How many of us use public transport? How many of us save water? Not many. We all behave like ostriches, wishing that things will improve on their own. But that is not the way things happen.
Why do we need the highest court in the land to tell us not to burn crackers? Can each one of us not take this wise decision ourselves? The same goes for plastic and water and all other environment related issues. We need to be proactive and take matters in our hand. We need to raise awareness and teach our children to be environment conscious. That is what we strive to do at Project Why each and every day. Delhi 6 November 2018.
Nothing has changed. The words of a post written a year ago ring true. No lesson has been learnt. None of us realise the magnitude of the problem. Year after year come November we make the same noises, express our concern, our worry, make empty promises. That is all. Once the situation improves all is forgotten. How long will it take for us to realise that nothing will change unless we change!
I wonder if next November I will be again writing a blog with the same words.
I was deeply moved by Ritu’s testimony but what truly shook me was two statements this young and feisty survivor made. The first one was that she was grateful to her attacker as the attack was what made it possible for her to break free from the restricting walls of her life and come to in the open and receive so much love. And the other was that she would like to ask her attacker without any acrimony what went in his head when he perpetrated that terrible act because she never wanted anyone to ever feel that way! Wise words from such a young soul. Ritu was 17 when tragedy struck and is in her early twenties now. I pondered on what she said and realised how true she was. Had there be no acid attack her life would have been that of any young girl from her community, confined to the walls of first her paternal home and then her marital one. It is the attack that propelled out of that world into one where she could find an identity and a voice. Today she advocates for acid attack survivors in more ways than one. Ritu is also part of the cast of Chhapaak the film soon to be released.
