by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
the little fellow in red singing his heart out is Aman a little gypsy child.
last wednesday, his mom made him wear his smartest clothes, scrubbed squeaky clean in spite of the paucity of water in the camp where they live and sent him to project why.
in days gone by, i succumbed to the fashionable funding option of sponsorships even though every fibre of mine was telling me not to. but at that time the sources were few and the need urgent. the deal of course was that there would be no special goodies or add ons, but just the basic requirement for the child to be in project why. we carefully divided the cost of each section by the number of children and came up with a figure and got some funding that way. since we have ben able to try and get our message across and do not go for sponsorphips of individual kids anymore.
I have often wondered what is it that makes this so popular and once again one is compelled to conclude that it is a matter of giving in to the donor’s conscience. has anyone ever stopped to think how the kid who has a sponsor and smart thinks is treated by his peers, how he is marginalised and considered an outsider. have we not all felt this way in our childhood days?
Then how do we explain to one parent why the other parent’s child has been sponsored. and when you view a set of pictures what makes you select one rather than the other? the cutest one? the saddest looking one? Even in our group adoptions we have always found that it is the smaller section that gets the most support. Sometimes the special kids, as it is fashionable, never the secondary kids though for them it is the last chance to catch the train to a better future..
well to come back to my little fellow, he was one of the chosen one and last week after umpteen mails and calls the person was to come and meet him. we of course told all parents that we would have a visitor so that every child came looking his best.
So it was a bunch of really smart kids that set out that wednesay morning waiting for the guest to come… he never did.
I guess aman and the others never realised that they were kept that little bit longer, as project why is a fun place to be in. For them it was just another day…
and I just once again remebered the fox and his quiet message:
One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.
may i never lose that ability…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 21, 2005 | Uncategorized
just got back from chennai and will write about my visit soon …
but today i want to share the joy I felt returning..home!
yes this little planet as i like to call it, has become ‘home’ as isn’t home the place you feel wanted, loved, cared for… was it the little children who ran to me screaming maa’m, or the more subdued ‘morning maa’m’ of the older ones.. was it the relief written large on the faces of some of my colleagues.. or the happy face of TunTun the scooter driver as he drove me to work..
maybe it was all of that ..
or was it the incredible joy and positive energy that dwell in every nook and corner of this little project and was so visible in the faces of the special kids as they greeted me this morning…
yes i was home…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 18, 2005 | Uncategorized
when the tsunami – a word none of us knew post 26/12 – waves hit the shores of India on a fateful sunday morning, I did not know that it would create ripples in a little planet tucked away in a small delhi slum.
we set about collecting money for a boat, and we managed to do so in record time. today a beautiful little fishing boat proudly bears the name ‘project why’ as it bobs on the East Coast of India bringing new hope to little children and their families.
in project why classrooms, a picture the little brightly coloured boat is displayed on the walls with great pride, creating new yet invisible bonds.
now as we all know the tsunami relief operation did go a bit out of hand as the world found its lost conscience and wanted to put it to use in a hurry. we managed to convince some donors to set aside a little money for the children of a fishing village and my visit to chennai was to try and see what could be done to erase some of the terrible memories that little minds still carry, and that are often not understood by elders.
A drive along the East Coast Road brought to light many realities that we are unaware of. Several villages have been affected and the fisherman now live in ‘camps’ some of which look unreal, I was horrified by one where dwelling units were made of hessian cloth dipped in black tar, and looked like a vision of hell, others looked a little more welcoming and they used natural thatch. DV Sridharan my guide for the visit, pointed out something I would have missed: carefully worded panels that almost ‘invited’ you to visit these camps. I was appaled by the lack of sensitivity that made a human tragedy into a new form of tourism..
More disturing however was the fact that today many villagers have made releif their main ‘economic’ activity, with fishing taking second place… here again we are made aware of the thin and invisible line that lies between helping and handicapping. When fishermen stop fishing something has gone terribly wrong… whe people start concealing reality in the hope of getting more, the purpose of aid gets defeated… this is something we have also faced time and again, and to my mind herein lies the litmus test of any development work: the ability to know when to stop!
Alas this is easier said than done as the problem does not lie only with the recepient but also with the donor who rides on the high of becoming a temporary god or at least saint of the day!
Then what does one do, become a follower of Diogenes and sink into cynicism, or does one carry on with the hope of being able to stop when the need arises.
That is the question.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 9, 2005 | Uncategorized
Dear Nida,
Thank you for your lovely mail and of course you can call me Anu!
I chose to answer your mail in this weblog, because much of what I would like to write to you, is what I would like to say to the young women of a land I love with deep passion. I must confess that sometimes I feel very defeated when I see the youth of today, and wonder where, we as parents have gone wrong.
To read that I have inspired you is not only humbling but a vindication of my deep seeded belief that everyone has a heart, maybe we just have forgotten the way to it. I am sure that everyone of you has the potential to make a difference, we just have not been able to show you how!
I do not what what motivated you to spend precious holiday time in the dusty and hot lanes of a slum rather; I do not even know what you were looking for.. I just hope you found it, and I do not think I am wrong, in the eyes of Aditya.
I can also see that you are a woman of substance as you were able to catch the essence of my approach. Yes, Nida deep concern without pity. Pity is a word far too often associated with, what in page 3 terms, would be ‘social work’. Yet it is the one thing that ruins it all.
I think we should all feel some reponsibility towards what we think is wrong, and I do not think that anyone would argue with the fact that little Aditya sleeping hungry is wrong or that young Arun having his operation money diverted to pay for funeral rites is wrong, or that a child’ s school fees going to pay the father’s evening tipple is wrong, or that .. and the list is endless..
The time you spent with us at project why must have shown you how little it takes to set things right. And yet it is so difficult to get even the tiniest bit of support.
I hope you will take this message to your friends and help people find the way to their hearts. And I hope that you will continue to be the woman you are, that you will always find the strength in you to do what you think is right, even if all others think differently.
We will miss you… particularly Aditya….
Note: Nida was a volunteer who worked with us during the summer.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 6, 2005 | Uncategorized
I am an Indian expat – living in San Diego, California now. I was born & raised in Delhi, and, like so many others, had become immune to sights and sounds of abject poverty surrounding me everyday. I came across your project while doing some random net surfing during my lunch hour at my work place here, and was touched by the plight of the children. I think you & your team are doing a terrific job, and I wish you every success. I cannot even begin to imagine the kind of hurdles you face in your day to day operations, & I just want to commend you & the rest of your team on your spunk and spirit.
Betsy
I do not know Betsy… I do not know if we will ever meet… maybe we walked on the same street as she grew up in Delhi, two unknown strangers that nothing could or should link.. she went to fulfill her destiny thousands of miles away and I stayed on to fulfill mine… and we should have remained strangers but for project why..
When I wake up at the crack of dawn every morning to catch up with the ever increasing load of work, and switch on my computer, I am often greeted with a message like this one.. and the grey clouds lift to let rays of hope in.. and I am strenghthen in my belief that I chose the right road, even if it is the less travelled one..
I have often been criticised and even sneered at for insisting on my decision to fund project why with the now almost proverbial ‘one rupee a day’! But it is that very ‘one rupee’ that brings to project why the love and good will of so many people dispersed the world over, of people I would have never come across and creates invisble bonds that are priceless..
a rupee a day does make the world smaller!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 5, 2005 | Uncategorized
If you look at the picture you will see a little tear that is about to fall… why is aditya crying as he clutches his pink bag?
Some of you may remeber a post in the June archives of this very blog entitled ‘the other WHY’, and the same little aditya asking questions no one would answer..
why did my father die ?
why is everyone so nasty to my mother?
why did no one give me medicine when my face was hurting so much?
why do i hear my mama weep at night?
the questions will remain unanswered.. and many more will appear… as life will continue its often cruel course…
Aditya, who never misses a day at project why had not been coming for the past few days.. This morning we sent Urmila, his favourite teacher, to find out what had happened and my blood ran cold when she came back: Aditya was alone at home, and Neha his mother and his grandmother were out.. a kind neighbour told a stunned Urmila that for the past three days the little proud trio had not eaten anything. The gaz cylinder was over.. and as Urmila perused the tiny kitchen she realised that all the diminutive containers were empty, barring one which had a few grains of lentils…
The neighbour went on to reveal that this proud family never asked for help, and often went to sleep after drinking water to calm the hunger pangs… a message was left asking Neha to come by and Urmila returned and shared what she had seen and heard…
We set up our little support network and decided to fill up the empty boxes and the cylinder so that the little family would not sleep hungry tonight and then we would work out something..
Later Neha came clutching little Aditya and we heard that this proud mother, widowed at an age when one is still a child, had calmed little Aditya’s hunger with water laced with some sugar and salt and dollops of mother’s love…
But there is a god for the lesser ones and he does send angels in different garbs and Aditya’s angel was a kind lady who had come to visit project why and who decided to sponsor these little bravehearts till Neha finished her course and could stand on her own feet…
Little Aditya sat on his mom’s lap listening to everything and I knew that his little soul knew that an angel had flown by…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 4, 2005 | Uncategorized
this week we made it to outlook and for once the article conveyed the reality of project why and its hopes and dreams. For once readers are spared the ‘ambassador’s daughter’ walking the slums, a cliche that makes me mad and has been used ad nauseum…
project why came of age in what i think is still the best article even written on why project WHY came to be. This article appeared in September 2003, and since we have gone a long way. At that time we were still groping in the dark, needing some kind of recognition that would make us visible and hence help us grow… but then everyone picked the words from the goodnewsindia.com article and somehow rewrote it, giving the impression that nothing was
truly happening..
yet the essence of project why is its ability to change and mutate, as its aim from the very first day was to empower people to take charge of their own lives…
project why was never about the poor little rich girl hoping to become a saint!
project why has always been about making a difference and one again we find ourselves at crossroads and know that will have to take on a new role… and I hope that when we do and succeed there will be someone who will report it honestly!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 1, 2005 | Uncategorized
guess whose coming to tea…
project why’s very special page ‘3’ ladies… seema, sarita, geeta, urmila, vinita , savitri…
never mind if they live in shanties, or jhuggis, they were invited to a farewell tea by friend and colleague Mylene, with whom they have worked for the past four years…
they would have done any one proud as they turned up at the exact time, dressed in lovely colours and all excited to be in their friend’s house…
as they sat with great poise and dignity no one would have believed that one was a dalit , the other a gypsy and the other a barber’s wife!
They ate blueberry cheesecake and drank their tea, and were delighted to visit Mylene’s home, without a twinge of envy as they looked at the kitchen, far bigger than the home of many of them..
And when it was time to leave, there were many moist eyes, and silent tears… and promised to meet again…
I watched with pride at the small miracles that project why seemed to throw my way… with obsessive regularity…
It takes so little to change people.. a little faith.. a little trust and lots of love…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jul 1, 2005 | utpal
i had a most moving experience as i watched a scene enacted by two
beings as different as night and day..
one is a little 3 year old indian slum kid and the other a 50 year old
upmarket frenchman ..
but they are tied by an invisible thread called love.
so when xavier came by utpal decided to take him to his house.. he
went to fetch the keys from his mom and guided his motley troop of
xavier anu..ma’am, and tuntun (the scooter driver) to his house.. he opened the first door
then the second and led us into his one room home with the confidence of an adult and the grace of the best host you could think of..
he switched the fan on, requested xavier to take his shoes off and sit on the bed.. then he sat himself , after havingtaken off his sandals..
anu with the impatience and foolishness that only an adult is capable off said something silly like “come on they are waiting for lunch”..
utpal looked around and saw that there were two pots on the slab that is the kitchen and said “you will eat here, there is fish and rice”..
the pots however only had water in them, he looked a little perplexed, but then got off the bed and filled a glass with the water and offered it to xavier, who drank it not giving anyone the chance to comment on its origin or cleanliness!
i watched with tears welling up my eyes and a tightness in my throat what to me was sudama feeding krishna …
and i saw the look of love on the two faces as they looked at each other in total silence before big krishna swept tiny sudama into his arms,turning his face away so that we would not see the unshed tear…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 28, 2005 | Uncategorized
One dream one soul one prize one goal
One golden glance of what should be
It’s a kind of magic
One shaft of light that shows the way
No mortal man can win this day
It’s a kind of magic
The bell that rings inside your mind
Is challenging the doors of time
wrote roger taylor for the rock group queen…
strange that these words came to my mind today… the day after having had to face some of the social ills that continue to plague our society: caste, women ruled by their husbands, narrow mindedness..
yet this morning when i saw the little project why inhabitants getting ready for their morning activities, i was once again touched by the magic of our little planet…
look at the little souls in the picture.. a happy lot they seem, intrigued at the presence of the big ma’am…
did you know that one is dalit, the other a muslim, the third a watermark brahman, and yet another a nepali; one is orphaned, the other illegitimate, another is a gypsy; some are very poor others own scooters, some live in airless shanties while the others in well cooled flats… would you be able to stick the correct label on the right forehead…
and yet they as the song says, they are the shaft of life we seek but do not recognise… soon they will be taught the ugly and divisive side of life, but today they are touched by the magic… the magic of planet why..
shhhh.. do not disturb them… it’s a kind of magic
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 26, 2005 | manu
This is nanhe, nanhe means small or tiny.. he came to us a year ago, could not walk, was incontinent, and barely spoke… we put in with the creche children were he spent time on a chair looking at others ..
A few weeks back, we decided to ‘promote’ him to the special section.
Nanhe loved this change as somehow started interacting with his peer group and learning new things: puzzles, hesitant steps, smiles and sounds, sharing his food, anything to say ‘main hoon na‘! ‘hey, here i am, look at me‘ and of course the unexpressed words only audible if you listen with your heart: please love me!
All seemed well on planet why.. till an ugly incident occured bringing a simple question to my mind: when today is over for nanhe.. what about tomorrow.
One of the daily tasks of the special section is to give manu a bath. Manu, the one for whom project why saw the light.. Manu the child like adult, the child of the lesser god, the one with all the labels saying ‘wrong’ stuck on his head, and Manu’s bath, not a pleasant task i agree, is such an issue, but one that brings out the ugly side of India.
There are those who accept this task with love, those who do it as an act of charity, those that do it because it needs to be done and then recently some that refused.. citing all kinds of unacceptable reasons…
When logic and humanity did not work, the axe had to fall and it has on two persons. For us it was a simple matter of fairness and equality: what is right for one has to be for all..
Threats have ensued, threats of violence, threats of legal action and we will take them head on, as the question does not stop with manu, when today is over.. other boys in need of care and love and help would have grown up.. and the solution does no lie in employing a person of the risgh caste, age, sex, creed to do tasks one does not want to do.. creating barriers that seem to difficult to bring down today..
if tomorrow has to come, then barriers have to be broken with the heart!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
stay hungry, stay foolish
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dotswill somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something -your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Steve Job
Today I had to put my 7 year old dog, Cleo , to sleep. Cleo has been sick since the time she was born. She was a bull mastiff ; but Cleo was also the result of human greed whereby one forgets that nature has laws that should not be broken: Cleo was the result of extreme in breeding. She came to us one night and one look at her was enough to realise that nothing was right: from her distorted legs, to her tongue that was too long: but she was beautiful and we all fell in love with her huge melting brown eyes.
she lived a brave valiant life in spite of her kidneys having failed.. at the end she could barely stand and was in pain.. and today I put her out of her misery… all could say to her as I held her was ‘sorry’..
I was far more disturbed than I thought I would be and shared my pain with a dear friend who sent me a mail with the text of steve job’s speech delivered recently to a group of students. The words somehow dealt with all the questions that were crowding my mind…
You can read the speech here.
many times, when things are not quite the way you want them to be, you wonder why and it is only much later that the dots get connected into often a perfect picture..
Steve goes on to say:
You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.
And thinking back I am blessed as I have found what I love in project why and the rewards I get every day of my life.
I just had not realised it ..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 22, 2005 | Uncategorized
Piya, Sudha, Asha, Misha,Paul, Ronnie, Greg, Sandra, Melanie, Jennifer, Ritu, Sameer, Rohit, Rahul, Ben, Eric, Dr Cohen, Dr Rawat, College of Du Page, Nazeer, Himanshu and the list goes on…. are friends we did not know we had, but the magic of project why touched sarmishta one day as she browsed the net and maybe saw one of the little souls that inhabit or planet..
she decided to help them fulfill their dreams of a better tomorrow.. by pledging part of therevenue from the sales of her maiden film.
but that simple generous gesture sarmishta did much more.. she created bonds between people who would have never known each other and made the world that much smaller..
today we are overwhelmed and humbled
bless you all
french fries and curry
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 21, 2005 | Uncategorized
when i asked some kids what made them laugh most, they all refereed to the famous chocolate ad where big B leaps of joy at ‘pappu’ passing his XIIth..
well yesterday when rani brought her class X result, my joy was not for the camera, it was genuine .. and that for many reasons..
the first is maybe because i simply love this young spirited woman.. but more than that because from the time i set eyes on her exactly five years ago to the day… she has never let me down.. from accepting to work without salary as a health and nutrition volunteer, to taking on small responsibilities to becoming my right arm and steering the day-to-day activities of project why..
rani was a shy withdrawn girl, who had dropped out of class IX as she had been severely beaten for not having brought her fees in time, and her mom had decided to stop her schooling..
well this year she decided to sit for her Xth Boards, did not even take a day of leave to study – god knows when she did – and came beaming yesterday with her results..
rani today steers a project which has 400 kids, a staff of 40 many of whom i have seen her grow..
but what makes this woman special is that she takes on any challenge with a smile and a determination no one can compete with… somehow she vindicates project why’s stand of empowering people..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 20, 2005 | okhla
look at the picture.. this is a project why classroom..
many of you may have conjured a ‘glam’ picture of project why.. yet this how we began in giri nagar five years ago, and this is what our new class room in okhla phase I, next to the railway tracks looks like…
we cleared part of a garbage dump, and set up our classroom and slowly the childen began to come in droves, and now there are more than 150 and our two spirited ladies who teach them…
maybe 5 years down the line, we would have found space in the umpteen factories that surround us… but now we need to carry on right here.. in this dump because that is how we manage to stop childen being used by uncaring adults to steal from the rail bogies or peddle drugs.. and hope to guide them back to a school, though there is no primaryschool close by..
of course no one likes us yet..we disturb the prevailing scenario.. and often on monday mornings our teachers find our classroom destroyed… but they valiantly rebuild it and carry on..
but the rains are around the corner and we need to repair the classroom..
maybe some kinds souls will come and helps us do so..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 16, 2005 | Uncategorized
funding is the one constant source of anguish to anyone engaged in work like ours.. there are many sources but we decided to take the long way home..
this is primarily because our commitment to empowerment only makes sense if its has a duration in time and remains rooted in a people steered approach..
we could have taken one of the oh so tempting short cuts, but they all end in mirages or dead ends: a big donor leaves town and bye bye children… india tests a nuclear device and some countries stop all aid so bye bye children… suddenely education is no more the flavour of the day so bye bye children again… the list is endless
and the poor unsuspecting beneficiary is the ultimate victim: the child loses its support system, women lose a job that had brought dignity and respect…
so we chose a the long road home, where home is the day the local community would steer such efforts by emulating the model we set.. a model based on large numbers and small sums of money.. the famous one rupee idea!
what is a rupee a day, or 365 rupee a year in today’s reality: a large pizza at the fast food joint, a movie for two, something each one could give up without even realising it..
then why is the long way home such a difficult one…
all you need is to look at the smile of this child who suffered third degree burns and who was left for dead.. he smiles because of those who walked the long way with us..
don’t you think it is worth it….
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 16, 2005 | Uncategorized
main hoon na! or here I am is what each tiny project why tot proudly says every morning at roll call!
these three little words are overflowing with meaning… they are not simply an affirmation or act of presence, they hold all their still unformulated dreams.. dreams that can only be fulfilled if people find their hearts and reach out to help..
and when they fold their hands in prayer and look up, it is the same three words they say to the invisible one!
to help us fulfill their dreams we need caring souls to part with a rupee a day! easier said than done particularly in this city where people seem to have lost their heart somewhere…
everyone wants to know what they would get in return.. and you stoically retort in a soft voice: the satisfaction of helping educate children – but it does not cut the ice… you get a curt – all NGOs are crooks– and you want to scream – but come and see our work.. – but who has the time..
many friends say – go find a celebrity – but where does one find one who would be willing to associate with a down to earth effort like ours…
never mind if we get children new hearts, or give employment to destitute mothers, or even arrest drop out rates in school.. we cannot get you a place in page 3.. we never learnt how… and the question is – do we really want to…
i think you know the answer..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jun 16, 2005 | Uncategorized
meet sophiya and pushpa.. one is a tribal from ranchi the other a dalit..
sophiya and pushpa run our okhla primary extension programme..
it was about a year ago that we decided to start this centre, and these two ladies were the chosen ones to go and set it up from scratch and they did, to our utter amazement: found a dump, cleared it and cleaned it, set up a shack, negotiated with the cops and local politicos, handled the local goons, found the children and today teach over 100 kids, in conditions that would scare off many…
and they do it with a smile, without a word of complaint..
to me these two women of substance epitomise the spirit of project why, which only makes sense if community members can learn the skills and gain the ability to set up extension centres in different places learning to deal with local problems and find support within.
Women are like stars…only one can make your dreams come true!
