by Anuradha Bakshi | Jan 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
It is back… the smile that was lost for a while behind a wall of pain is back where it belongs, on nahe’s beautiful face..
Never mind the foot swollen to double its size because of innumerable intravenous feeds, never mind the now forgotten pain and discomfort of an agonising test with a tongue twisting name, Nanhe’s face lit of when we dropped by his ward this afternoon..
His smile brightened the dreary hospital room and warmed the cockles of our hearts.. In his own inimitable way Nanhe made us feel special. This was love in its purest form..
His indomitable spirit reached out with a message of hope and trust…
It was a moving and edifying experience; a silent and eloquent homage to life, as this child who has nothing going his way, reached out to tell us he was doing his bit.. to get better and come back to us..
We had to do ours…
Note: all xrays and other medivcal investigations have been completed. nanhe now awaits surgery.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jan 6, 2006 | Uncategorized
“I almost always start my day at work by reading the projectwhy blogspot” says a friend in the US.
” I was reading some earlier posts on your blog, as I do when I need inspiration”.. says another one from the other side of the planet in Australia
Project why blogs began at the behest of a friend who believed that the occasional outbursts shared in emails should have a larger audience… I never knew that the words that came out from the depth of my soul would have such an impact.. and once again i am overwhelmed.. but not surprised..
The little moments I share here are not figments of my imagination, they are real and are impregnated with the hopes, the aspirations, the dreams of simple and often invisible people. What makes them a little diferent is that these very real images are viewed by one whose love and faith in India is indubitable, one who believes that every child of the land has the right to a better tomorrow, a right we are the custodians of..
These posts are also my way of reaching out to that part of each one of us that sometimes has been lost in the quagmire of cynicism and mistrust that seems to prevail around us.. a way of showcasing what one does not want to see.. as it disturbs, and awakens a sense of responsibility we are not ready to take on…
How small our problems become in the light of the lives of those portrayed here, how simple it is to be happy and to smile.. and how easy it is to reach out and make another life better..
Simply put these posts are shots of optimism and hope… for those who care to look with their heart!
But beware, the smile you see on this child’s face can become addictive..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jan 3, 2006 | Uncategorized
Nanhe is in hospital and in pain . I was given a garbled and incoherent report on his condition by those who accompanied him. What I could gather was that he would be in hospital for a long time and that the surgery would take place at a later date..
Government hospitals life Safdurjung give good medical care, but are often very sparse and even brusque when asked to explain a medical condition. This is understandable as not only are they overworked but used to dealing with ‘illiterate’ families..
Now I could not stop at this, and had to find out more.. I did remember seeing on his hospital papers that he had VUR or vesicoureteral reflux . I decided to find out more and, as I set out to do so, I realised once again that as in many other cases, this condition should have been detected early had he had proper peadiatric care. The reality is that a simple condition that could have been redressed at an early stage, has resulted in a severe renal condition that left unattended could have dramatic consequences. The treatment in the early stages is regular and long term medication, in later stages however corrective surgery is required.
We have good medical facilities in the large hospitals of our country, but the tragedy is that lack of education and awareness, as well as harsh living conditions in urban slums, lead to children being neglected and only taken to the right facility when the problem has taken alarming proportions.
One of pwhy’s implicit aim is to see that children get immediate and correct medical help and that parents are made to understand the need and importance of proper medical care. Had Nanhe’s bedwetting and failure to thrive been looked at, maybe a simple course of antibiotics would have sorted the problem, sparing him long years of silent agony and humiliation.
It is sad that whereas people at large react with great generosity to individual cases, we find it difficult to find support for our on going activities, though it is our continued presence on the field that not only helpa us find more nanhes, but allows us get early intervention and increase awareness.
It is the message we are desperately trying to get through..
Note: this picture of nanhe was taken a day before he was admitted. he was very happy with his boxer’s helmet that we bought him to protect his head as he has a tendancy to fall.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jan 1, 2006 | Uncategorized
People get addicted to many things.. I too have my addiction, one I did not realise till I missed my shot of Nanhe’s smile..
Yesterday for the first time I saw Nanhe in such excrutiating pain, as he clung to his mother and in spite of all his efforts was not able to smile..
He is now admitted to the hospital for the last lap of what has been an extremely long obtsacle race.. but one he runs with rare courage and examplary determination.
Somewhere, within the arachnean boundaries of planet why, lies nanhe’s smile, a smile in custody…
Godspeed Nanhe…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Jan 1, 2006 | Uncategorized
Come January 1.. and we all make resolutions that are often commonly kept.. often because they are made by habit and not conviction..
I too have in the past made many such resolutions.. this year however as I sat down to review the past year and take stock of things, I realised that I had changed many of my ways, quite unconsciously.. I was more patient, less demanding , less obstinate, willing to walk the middle path more often.. and one thing was certain, it was pwhy that had brought this..
Pwhy has been the most rewarding experience in more ways than one.. the love of the children, the incredible support of people, and the little achievements that light up each and every day.. but more than that it has made me discover things about myself, helped me overcome many inhibitions, and I think the greatest one is that of asking for help..
When I look back on the past 5 years I realise that maybe one of the biggest stumbling block has been this very attitude, the result of years of being led to believe that it was not done. So maybe resolution 2006 is to try and rid myself of the last shred of reserve as when I seek help it is for those who no else reaches out to..
So on this first day of the new year, I ask all of you who think that pwhy is worthwhile to walk one extra step and extend your support.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 31, 2005 | Uncategorized
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. (Albert Einstein)
It took me a long time to decide what the post on the last day of 2005 would be, and then I came across this quote that said it all..
On planet why we live life the later way. We have had our share of miracles , big and small, in 2005. So many that I feel overwhelmed: when the tsunami hit our coasts, pwhy kids did the imposible and collected 60 000 rs and bought a small kuppam (fisherman’s village) a fibreglass boat that sails every day bearing the name project why on its hull; Arun got a new heart, the started walking, the children brought us a 100% results
The internet wove its magic and friends appreared from the world over: a raffle was organised in the US, a short story competition took place in the UK, and each time we were in need, invisible angels appeared and pulled us through..
And there is more, Babli’s operation is on the anvil as we have the required funds, and little Nanhe will also be operated upon and have a painfree existence..
The adoption plan we put up is slowly fall in in place and we know that it will happen sooner than later, as so many friends have put us on their sites and blog pages
There were difficult moments… when we discovered Munna’s little family but one phone call later and another angel did the job.. Munna’s family will have a warm new year and take its first steps towards better times…
We had a party hosted by a lady just 8 months old, and a wedding so different from the ones we see.. we even made it to newspapers and had our moment in the sun!
As I write these words I am overwhelmed by the abundance of gifts recieved and somewhat humbled …
To all those who made this possible I would like simply to say: thank you!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 30, 2005 | Uncategorized
Many of us will sit down tomorrow night to usher 2006. There will be lights, and warmth and food and music.. no matter how chilly the night.
In the same city Munna’s little family will sit in the dark, the only light being that of an oil lamp… Munna is 9 and suffers from mental retardation. He has been at project why for a few weeks. He has three younger siblings and brave parents who came to the city, floods having washed away the little land they had. the father earns the princely sum of 1000/rs, and the family lives on that.
The little family juggles with the sum to make both ends meet, so they have decided not to get an electric connection, and when vicky 3 and shakuntala 1 are hungry, the mother breastfeeds them.. Sapna goes to school, and Munna and Vicky come to pwhy. The children have barely any warn clothes, and the mother has none. Despite his limited capacities, Munna is very much the elder brother and in his own endearing way watches over little Vicky and helps his mother as best he can.
We were moved by the quiet dignity we saw in the face of such adversity. There were no complaints, no soliciting for help, on the contrary when ve visited them, we were offered food and tea.. the rules of hospitality were impeccable.
As we left munna’s home many questions came to our mind: how did anyone live in a thousand rupees? How could any employer give a thousand rupees for a day’s work – Munna’s father beats iron for a living -? and above all how could we help them …
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 28, 2005 | Uncategorized
The picture shows Nanhe on his nth visit to the hospital. It is no mean task for a child who cannot walk, is incontinent, is in pain and never complains.
For the past two months come monday and the trio of Nanhe, his mom and Meena our staffer, sets off in the cold or rain to the hospital located a few kilometers away. In the afternoon the trio comes back, and whereas the adults frown or complain, Nanhe smiles on.. the scenario is repeated the next friday and so on. Sometimes another test is needed, sometimes an xray has to be redone.. and the date for the much needed surgery to put an end to the excruciating pain of one suffering from multiple calculi seems as elusive as the scarlet pimpernel.
No I should not be complaining. A recent press report revealed that the waiting time for surgery in India’s capital city’s only state hospital for children was four years resulting in parents having to find resources to take their children to private hospitals, here it has only been two months.
Nanhe needs another test that cannot be done in Safdarjung Hopsital. The doctor scribbled a referral on his green card, and the trio set out to AIIMS but to our utter horror no one could figure out what was written. By the time they had finished their rounds in search of information, poor nanhe in tow, public dealing time was up. Come again tomorrow..
Enough is enough, today a senior staffer will go to the hospital and find out the exact name of all the tests required and the name of a private lab that the hospital endorses and we will get all the tests done.
But that is not the answer because every hurting child does not have a pwhy like support. Parents have meagre resources that soon dry out. In a case like Nanhe who cannot travel by bus, each trip is costly and then even caring parents give up on a child who is not even an investment in ones’ future: remember nanhe is severly retarded..
But does one give up on a smile like nanhe’s…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 27, 2005 | lohars
It was party time on planet why thanks to a little girl who lives far away in England. Dhanya had decided to give a very special gift to pwhy a xmas party.
We had two parties one for the big kids with DJ and coffee machine and one for the tiny tots and special kids. The common denominator: everyone had their dancing shoes on..
They danced with abandon and grace. There were the little ones and the big ones, the lohars, the special kids, the guests and the staff. It was touching to see that everyone no matter how little they had, no matter how tiny and dark their home, everyone had made the effort to be beautiful. You could see the younger girls with hurriedly applied make up, the high heels that made one wobble a little, the bright coloured shirts the boys doned with new found confidence, the hair pasted with gel in the latest style.
As the DJ belted out favourites, squeals of joy could be heard as the dance floor filled with would be stars trying to match the steps seen on the ever present TV screen. The energy was palpable, the mood upbeat and the party a success.
Even the little ones the next day, some not quite three, took to the floor with the same aplomb. And everyone, big or small enjoyed the food. But the proverbial clock would strike midnight and the party had to end before the magic weared out. The coachmen of the night – radhey, tuntun and sitaram – were there to see everyone safely home.
What was truly remarkable was the impeccable behavior of these often misunderstood children. No food was wasted, no fight occured, no one was teased or laughed at and to my utter surprise nothing littered the floor after everyone had left. Every plate, cup and napkin had been placed in the right bins..
A lesson for all…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 26, 2005 | Uncategorized
I was extremely saddened and somewhat angry to read this post.
I could feel the palpable angst that permeated each word.. as this lovely child of India questioned her very being..
No child, no one can take away from you the right to love and care for your country whether you wake up in it every morning or miles away in another land, that right is indubitably yours.. what is sad is that many of those who question it with such vehemence are the very ones who have forgotten how to love their land..
No one can stop you from commenting on its faults or praising its achievements as long as your person enough to accept responsibility for what it has become and do what you think is right to change things..
I speak from experience as in the past year I have seen that it is people like you who have come forward to help us make a difference, people whose hearts beats for India even if they are miles away..whereas those who breathe its air, enjoy its resources, live on the fruits of the toil of its humble people have lost the ability to care for it..
You need prove nothing… your words say it all!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 23, 2005 | Uncategorized
Imagine my utter surprise whenI saw my band of galahads march in this morning almost dragging a sullen looking fellow, their captive of the day. I was sson to learn that it was Ramu,
bablis’ famous brother!
They wanted me talk to him and make him understand that he was not to bully his sister.. or beat up or make her do his work.. they were all talking at the same time, but I got the general idea..
Ramu stood sullen anbd I knew I had to play my cards right. He of course denied everything. He was after all a child of urban India slums, where children are always chided and abused and left no alternative but to repeat the pattern with someone younger; where boys are taught to believe that they are of superior mettle and girls inferior.. butI also knew that this young man had had the courage to come and face me..
Babli of course nodded her little head vigourously when asked whether big brother beat her. Now the stage was mine.. I took Ramu’s hand and gently explained to him what having a hole in a heart meant, and then telling him that being a big brother was a privilege and that he was responsible for his two sisters and that I knew that he would care for Babli. Ramu’s hand was still in mine and I felt an almost imperceptible squeeze. I realised that maybe it was the very fisrt time that an adult had spoken kindly to Ramu.
Now it was time to lighten the atmosphere so I asked Ramu what was his dream.. and he whispered – cricketeer – !
We then made a pact that if he would promise to look after Babli then I would see about organising cricket coaching for all pwhy boys. the pact was sealed with a high five and laughter.
It was then phototime and though Babli was all smiles, Ramu still had to play the role of the sullen brother though I think he was smiling inside. My knights in shining armour stood around with huge grins on their face.
Well done boys!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 22, 2005 | Uncategorized
The previous post was about the plight of girls and the unfair treatment they get even in as small an issue as shoes!
The immediate reaction that one has is: why not buy them shoes.. but how many can you buy was my asnwer to a friend who wrote in.. the solution lies in changing age-old mindsets.. impossible would say my detractors.. well not quite..
Many of you know about Babli who needs heart surgery and will soon get her well deserved new ticker.. but I was thrilled today, when my primary boys, some of whom live in the same area as Babli, came to me all excited and told me how they had defended Babli and even slapped her elder brother..
I calm them down and asked them to tell me what happened. Apparently Babli’s older brother Ramu excpets his sister to fecth and carry for him and often ill treats and even beats her. Now my little knights in shining armour took up her defense and tried to explain to Ramu that Babli’s health was fragile and that she had to be cared for.. when he carried on abusing her they slapped him and told him that they wold be watching him..
Maybe the methods used by Raju and the gang was not quite what one would condone, I must confess that I was quite thrilled, and though I mouthed the required reprimand, my eyes were filled with pride…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 21, 2005 | Uncategorized
This is not a summer footwear display… but the neatly lined up shoes of our primary girls at giri nagar on a chilly winter afternoon…
when most of us have different shoes for different seasons, the children in delhi slums are lucky if they have any footwear at all.. and rubber chappals are sturdier than the cardboard soled shoes that are sold on weekly marts and that do not withstand a puddle let alone rain!
winter wear is expensive, takes a long time to dry when washed and when you need to multiply it by the number of children you have, finances goe awry.. so it is often the male child who dons shoes whereas the little girls just have chappals… and one must not forget that an open shoe lasts longer, and can be worn even if the foot sticks out both end..
so here again girls are children of a lesser god…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 20, 2005 | Uncategorized
it was a chilly afternoon as we set out to vist nanhe’s home. we needed to assess the situation and see what was needed to make his return from hospital as comfortable as possible. we locate his mother’s cart and she guided us to her home. we had expected a small jhuggi but this was more like a box where a cot took almost all the place – remember five people lived here, nanhe being the youngest – the place was as tidy as such a place can be, with a small electric stove and all that was essential to subsist. we made a mental note of what would be needed as we sat on the cot..
the dampness of the tiny room made the cold even more biting and quite honestly we were hoping for a cup of tea.. nanhe’s mom had scurried out we thought to get some milk.. we were taken a back when she returned with bottles of pepsi… and looked at each other in dispair.. knowing that we would have to gulp the chilled bottles seeped in the gratitude and love of this brave mother who probably felt thata mundane cup of tea was not god enough for us..
well you see this was urban india and nanhe’s mom had to show that she had learnt urban ways.. in her village we would have probably been given sweet and hot tea..
we drank the urban treat as refusing it would have been hurting her feelings..
Oh darling yeh hai India..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 19, 2005 | Uncategorized
Wonder who this is…
This is our little babli’s family… her father and her little sister.. the ones she has to mother despite a hole in her heart..
But there are no options.. babli’s father who is 35 years older than her mom, is asthmatic and cannot work.. or does not want to. Santosha her mom slogs in a factory for long hours and babli is the one who takes charge of things at home.. True she is not the eldest child. She has a big brother but then he is a boy and enjoys certain privileges: he can play with friends and go to school, in a nutshell be a child..
This is the plight of many little girls who are deprived of their childhood by the realities of life in urban slums where there no extended families. The fact that babli has a severe heart condition makes the matter just that more poignant…
read more about babli:
babli’s world
babli.. a tiny woman of substance
Life on the planet is born of woman
let alone she may die
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 19, 2005 | Uncategorized
nanhe’s smile has moved many friends.. and yes he is an amazing child and we are very blessed to have him with us.
He has showed us the true meaning of hope and more than that his love for life does makes us all wonder about the total emptiness of our own lives…
I have often wondered why God, if there si one, sends such souls into this world.. many answers come to my mind but above all I feel that somehow these lovely children who bear their suffering with such dignity are there to help us unearth parts of us which seem to have got lost in the recess of our minds and souls…
The smile in the picture was nanhe’s way of telling me this morning as he set out for another series of painful tests, that all was well on planet earth and that he was ready to take on the day with courage.. his way of requesting me and others like me, not to pity him or feel sorry..
Ever since we began our work, it is the children of the special section who have given me the strength and the determination to carry on, no matter what.. they have been beacons of light and proved that no situation was ever desperate enough to want to give up. This motley crowd of simple souls with different abilities are examples of compassion, acceptance, cooperation and love.. a true celebration of diference..
How small we feel compared to them…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 18, 2005 | lohars
the following story – a true one- would have made you smile, if it did not affect a child’s life.
pawan is a class III student that comes to our Lohar Camp Primary programme. he is a bright boy and an eager learner. He comes from a very poor family: his father pulls a rickshaw and hos mother cleans home.
All seems well with this young fellow except a slight limp, and unsteady gait, and sudden falls. When you look closely at his ankle that is still not healed, you can see a huge gap.
Almost a year back, an asbestos sheet fell on little pawan’s foot in the municpal school he attends. After a couple of days of home remedies, his parents took him to safdarjung hospital as the pain was excruciating and the ankle swollen. pawan was kept in hospital for many weeks but the anke did not seem to be getting better.
One day a doctor came and told the family that their son needed support. The bewildered family not quite comprehending what was meant and too frightened to ask, simply thought that what was needed was the support of of some important person. They simply took their son home.
When Gita, our teacher came to us with pawan’s story we tried to make sense of what had happened and to our horror understood that what the doctor meant was that pawan’s ankle needed some form of prosthetic support!
pawan will soon be taken back to hospital and we hope to be bale to get him the care he needs.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 17, 2005 | Uncategorized
In our fight for survival, we put up an adoption plan whereby we seek kind hearts to ‘adopt’ the nine sections which make pwhy, each with its dreams, its hopes, its aspirations…
I have many times, maybe even too many for some, shared my own dreams for pwhy. I try with passion to defend its very spirit which can be summed up in the words: a mater of the heart.
In our dark times, many well wishers have tried to convince me to give up my quest for caring hearts and accept the more conventional way of institutional and impersonal funding.. I must confess that even if I sometimes nodded in agreement, my heart refused to follow and I lay in the dark of the night looking for a sign to vindicate my stand..
Last week another volley of mails was sent asking friends to come together and help us. I must admit that I got my share of emails telling me to change my ways, but I kept my fingers crossed and waited for a sign to show me I was right and this morning it happened as one of our centre got adopted by a old friend and supporter.. and I heaved a sigh of relief..
This friend of why is someone I have never met, someone who has never been to pwhy.. but to come back to my favourite parable, she is one who understood the secret reveald to St Exupery’s Little Prince by an untamed Fox, someone who can see with her heart..
