by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 25, 2006 | Uncategorized
Where did I buy my last jometry quipped little Kiran.
For a few moments I was perplexed then it dawned on me: she was referring to a pencil box a.k.a. geometry box. I am sure many remember the rather ungainly tin box that we carried to school many years back and that included all geometry implements and pencils and rubbers.
Somewhere the word box got dropped and the tin box acquired many an avatar, but to school children from the other side of the divide the name jometry remained.
Jometry today for most slum kids is the word to define all shades and hues of the precious pencil box they carry to school.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 24, 2006 | Uncategorized
Every morning before I set out for the day, I watch the news on TV. A old habit become more relevant since pwhy began as one has to be anchored in the reality that surrounds us.
One is prepared for news about violence and bombs. one is even resigned to the fact that a large chunk of the bulletin will be hogged by sports and bollywood. One even braces one’s self for some item on child abuse…
I switched on the idiot box expecting to see yesterday’s Baghdad blast and was in no way prepared for what was about to hit me. The lead news today was about three little girls age 6. 7 and 11 who were rescued from an upmarket home after 3 years of torture and abuse. They were domestic workers..
As one of the girls relived the belts and sticks, the chili in her eyes, and the camera zoomed on her scalded badly healed hands, I was unable to stop the tears that ran down my cheeks. Soon I found myself weeping uncontrollably: they were tears of anger, of rage, of extreme sadness, of helplessness, of shame..
The ordeal of the little girls did not stop there. Yes we have a child labour law, yes we have a juvenile justice act, we boast of child protection legalese, and are signatories to the UN convention for Children’s Rights but once rescued by an NGO the little girls spent 5 days in the cop station. The state of H does not have a juvenile home, the district magistrate – a woman – refused to comment, the law did not allow them to come to neighbouring Delhi. The perpetrators however were released on bail.
The disturbing image of the little girl with scalded hands refused to go away. 2 and half years of torment , that meant she was just 5 when the descent to hell began. And the tormentors,they lives in a city not a barren island, did no one see their plight or did everyone turn their face away as usual. And how could people treat children this way. Why did these tiny children have to work. Why are the laws made for children so full of gaping holes. How can we hope for redemption when we are not able to protect our children. Who gives us the right to shatter children’s dreams. The little scalded hands were not meant to scrub, and clean but to play with a doll, be held and caressed.
Questions that need answers but who will answer them..
God of Lesser beings are you listening
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 23, 2006 | Uncategorized
I had to share this picture with you! This is a Kodak moment of the afternoon session of our bran new Govindpuri primary extension. the room we have is so tiny that it is only sufficient to lock up the meagre resources we have. Classes are held on the roof as the weather is clement these days.
Just two weeks back this centre did not exist, and most of these kids wandered on the streets. Today its is cracking at the seams and filled with laughter, joy and above all hope.
As soon as we were spotted by one of the kids, there was a scramble down the stairs to open the door and usher us into this new world. The children almost fell over each other as they ran down the tiny stairs and greeted us.
These children are just like yours and mine: eager, mischievous and eager to imbibe whatever we can teach them, still hungry for more. Their guileless trust makes us painfully aware of the responsibility that rests on our shoulders, as somehow we have become the ones who may just fulfil their wildest dreams.
But can we?
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 23, 2006 | Uncategorized
Deepak has a brand new heart or rather has got his broken heart fixed. A huge T shaped scars is ample proof of that.
We first met Deepak almost 5 months ago when he was 8 months old. He needed heart surgery but his family did not have the required money. We raised it with the help of some kind hearts and believed that in a matter of days or at most weeks all would be well.
But that was not to be. What should have a simple walk to the OT turned out to be an obstacle race in today’s India. Deepak first encountered the hydra headed monster called reservation. any a times we was turned away from the portals of the most prestigious hospital in our country.
His tired body gave up once and his heart even stopped beating but his will to live was formidable. He came back to life again but the battle was not over, a huge abdominal abscess delayed the procedure again.
Last week D day finally dawned and his surgery was performed with success and soon he will be back to his little home and ready to start a new life.
I wonder what life has in store for him? His family is poor and illiterate. His father barely earns enough to keep the family going and his mom and granny stay at home. The one huge asset they have is a bond of love and are a close knit family.
We will slowly tiptoe out of his life, and then Deepak will be on his own. For a long time I wondered about his future as I more than anyone else know how much we have let our children down, particularly those who live on the other side of the impregnable yet invisible fence.
Deepak will soon find out that life is not fair, that the images he will see on TV – the family has one of course – are not meant for him. As he grows and starts going to school – the municipal one for sure – and may not become a drop out statistic if he is still around and come to pwhy. On the way he will see many ugly realities: reservation, caste division, child labour, unemployment and more. The god who heard his mom’s prayer and gave him this new hart will have to work overtime to protect and guide him at every step of life.
When I watch the news I am horrified to see that with obsessive regularity every day, some news we are ‘treated’ to some news item that confirms that life is not alright for our children. Yesterday we heard about the young slum kid who won a national yoga competition but found no one to sponsor his trip to the international meet in Italy.
Laws that protect children are broken with rare impunity, tender bodies are raped, used and abused. And we just emit of few chuckles of sympathy and carry on with our lives.
But each image robs me a few minutes of my sleep each night and urges me to do something more. I feel ashamed at my inability to reach out and help.
How can I say welcome back to our world Deepak..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 21, 2006 | two indias
We have a new primary extension in the back and beyond of the Govindpuri slums!
Sophiya and Israel were given the task of finding space and kids! Many may wonder why the need to add on a new primary centre. Once again it is all about comfort zones!
One could feel content with the 3 centres we had, they are running well and meet the numbers needed to satisfy those who help us and even get some kudos here and there. However in doing so, one negates the very principle and ethos of pwhy. One cannot forget that the mainstay of pwhy is to get communities to take on the responsibility of educating their children and to prove that not much is needed to do so. How can one forget the mind boggling figures that stare at us and mock us in this 60th year of independant India: 100 000 kids between 7 and 13 do not go to school , 76% SC students drop out of school… and many of those who make it, get paltry results.
Hence we decided to reach out to more children as the others seem to have settled.
S and I set out two weeks back to survey the vicinity of gali no 13 and to find space that would not be too costly. A tiny room was found and after a quick survey, classes began. In a matter of days the room was filled and the class moved on the terrace which could accommodate more children. Today, there are over 40 kids and many in the Q. A new centre was born @ the cost of 1000 rs/month, as the teachers were already part of the project!
A visit yesterday showed us beaming kids and proud teachers and proved once again that we were on the right path.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 19, 2006 | Uncategorized
Seeing the aftermath of the Bhandara tragedy cannot but bring to mind what bob Dylan wrote more than 40 years ago
Yes, ‘n’ how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
I will not write about the horror of that night, the shattered dreams of a brilliant girl, the agony of the surviving victim. I will not delve on the pitched battles that are played over and over again when the brutality of the police beatings which reminds us of the British raj, neither will I wonder why such a horrific incident had no witnesses.
I will just ask why in a land that has been freed for over 60 years justice does not come to victims that are children of a lesser God, I will just ask why factions cannot unite in the wake of such human tragedy, I will just ask why protesting in a democracy leads to brutal beatings, I will just ask why people are not allowed to dream big!
Delhi just witnessed the abduction of a rich child and the media bltz that ensued. I wonder wether it would have been the same if the child was poor? And yet the agony of a mother is the same be she rich or poor.
So many questions and no one to answer them
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 19, 2006 | Uncategorized
I have always held that the poor emulate the rich! This is apparent in more ways than one: urban slums weddings for instance now look like upmarket ones: food stalls, decorative thrones, DJs and smoky dance floors.
This is also apparent in the proliferation of cell phones, bikes, VCD players et al!
Yesterday I saw something that made me smile. Our local juice vendor was rushing with a bunch of plastic bags filled with orange juice, and dropping them to different jhuggis. Actually each jhuggi had a sick person in it.
Yes health consciousness has also hit the slums.
I did not even dare think about the quality of the plastic or the origin of the water used to dilute the juice…
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
Sometimes you wonder why children are made to suffer! I wrote about Himanshu locked in his world and who had found a pal in Nanhe.
Well someone got jealous or cast a spell and the next day nanhe found suffered acute renal colic and had an epileptic fit that send him to hospital and Himanshu found himself without his new friend.
Himanshu’s story is what horror films are made of: his mother committed suicide by hanging herself, probably because of domestic violence. His maternal grandparents then asked the father to come to the village proposing that he marry the dead wife’s sister. the father thought it would be a doable option for his two children as Himanshu has a younger sister.
In the village, in some remote part of Bihar, what awaited him was a family seeking revenge. The man was shot by the brothers and the whole deed made to look like another suicide.
Today the children are being looked after my the dead father’s sister who has chosen no to marry in order to bring up these two children.
I wonder what Himanshu saw that made him the way he is, locked up in a strange world of his own, trying to deal with something he cannot understand.
In the face of such tragedy I remain speechless.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 18, 2006 | utpal
I have always loved the Greek word ‘hubris’. The dictionary gives many meanings to it: from arrogance, to pride to cockiness.
According to me there is only one being who has the right to be hubristic and that is God him/herself, in whatever shade or colour you may want. Only God can turn desperation into hope.
Many of you may have forgotten J a.k.a Mr P’s mom. There are many who may have written her off as a gone case alky, a bad mother, a woman of lose morals and many more such explicatives.
I have always held that God makes mistakes and then sets on to paint very large and sometimes incomprehensible pictures aimed at setting them right. J is one such case. Her lonely battle to turn the leaf began on a terrible night when little Utpal fell into his boiling pot and we landed in his life. A series of occurrences followed as time was not ripe. Many drunken brawls had to be endured and the abandoned daughter had to make her journey back!
Then on a fateful day in April things hit rock bottom and made us take a tough decision: we had to separate mother and son, Utpal went to boarding school and J into rehab. It was not easy for this woman who was a free spirit. But she held on the nine long months needed to heal.
Next week J will be taking her first hesitant steps towards a new life as she goes to work in a institution where her daughter is waiting. It is time for this mother to make up for lost time with a daughter she has walked away from to live her own private hell. And during the Xmas holidays Utpal will join his little family for a few days.There are still many battles to be won, many pitfalls to avoid but somehow I feel that they will be. It is just a matter of time!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 17, 2006 | Uncategorized
A few weeks back we were contacted by a organisation asking us to participate in a national effort whereby young bankers of a leading multinational bank would come and spend a day at pwhy as part of the CSR effort.
A draft programme was sent to us and we were asked to send a concrete proposal which we promptly did. The idea was that about 10 such persons would ‘spend the day’ with our kids and participate in various activities.
Then as usual we got caught in our day-to-day life. Yesterday we remembered that the programme was scheduled for this week-end and having not heard from anyone we decided to call them.
Why was I not surprised when we were told that though Bombay and Calcutta had met the required numbers, Delhi had failed to do so. No need to wonder why, Delhi will not give up its Saturday spent mall crawling, star gazing or partying to walk filthy slums and play with poor kids.
Dil deke dekho– dilli – try spending a little of your heart!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 16, 2006 | Uncategorized
It has been along time since one has written a blog about pwhy children. Somehow the sombre mood and events of the past few weeks had hijacked much of these posts.
But while the city was being held to ransom by the sealing saga and numerous bhands, life did not stop for an instant on planet why. We have had some new admission and one of them was little Himanshu in the creche.
Himanshu and his younger sister are orphans being brought up by their aunt. Right from day one Himanshu seemed a little different and unlike his sister who took to her new friends like a fish to water, Himanshu remained withdrawn, locked in his world, banging his head occasionally or sitting in a corner.
Today we shifted him to the special section so that our very efficient team would assess him. As soon as he entered the room, Himanshu suddenly felt at home. He smiled, and settled down as if he belonged.
After some time, he decided to sit by Nanhe and soon rested his head on Nanhe’s lap a broad smile on his face. Nanhe of course rose to the occasion suddenly as this was the first time in his life that he felt responsible for someone.
We all watched in silence as this was a huge moment for us all.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 16, 2006 | Uncategorized
I asked my old acquaintance Mishraji why our local DDA market had so many cars parked in front. Mishraji and I go back a long time, when he worked at a provision store in M block market GK1 and I shopped there for my daily needs. That was about 25 years ago!
Today Mishraji works the local chemist in the DDA market the store he worked in then is now a lingerie boutique!
“behanji, did you know that there were 34 provisions stores in M block market in those days, now there is only one, so the many residents of diverse blocks in GK 1 come to the two provision shops here”, was Mishraji’s answer.
A zany thought crossed my mind: will they one day seal this tiny complex because of traffic snarls!
Thinking back I do remember many such stores; they all disappeared giving way to showrooms that sell jewellery, fancy shoes, fancy apparel, sports goods, crystal ware and more of the same. And shoppers comes from across the city and even across the country, in their cars and create those terrible traffic jams.
This blog is not about rules and the breaking of them. It is an epitaph to days gone by, days that remain forgotten memories in the now tired heads of the likes of Mishraji and I. With malls, and showrooms the bond that existed between the shopkeeper and the client is gone and in its place is a business like exchange. I guess one has to move with time but some of us still long for the days when things were different.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 16, 2006 | Uncategorized
She is 11, goes to school but there is a catch; she has been married to a man more than twice her age who is also the husband of her handicapped sister.
The future of children and particularly girls with disabilities has always been a source of concern.
Often their already grim lives turn to nightmares after the demise of their mother when the reins of the home passes on to a new entrant: the elder daughter-in-law.
It is for this reason that we try at pwhy to teach each and every special child basic living skills so that he or she can remain within the home. Often we have to argue with parents who try and see the child as normal and chart out a life for her which leads to marriage as the very Ponce Pilatus option: I would have washed my hands off her. No one ever thinks of the plight of the girl in a new home.
Yesterday a TV channel aired a story that disturbed me a lot. A father had married his deaf and dumb girl to a much older man; only there was a catch: he also married his 11 year old second daughter to the same man! His explanation was brutally simple: his disabled daughter would find a home.
The understanding was that daughter no 2 – still a child – would remain in her parental home till she finished school. Only that is not what happened, soon after daughter no 1’s wedding, the in-laws started abusing her and insisted that daughter no 2 come immediately. Apparently this case is not unique, many parents of disabled daughters have had recourse to this.
I know that everyone reading this blog will be horrified, but seven years in pwhy have taught me to look at the larger picture before condemning anyone. True that the authorities have moved in, the father is behind bars, the younger daughter still in school does not quite understand the situation, and the handicapped young woman is back home, her future as bleak as ever.
Now had the ‘deal’ worked, it would have remained a secret and the sisters would have lived together. The larger question nobody seems to be addressing is: what will happen to them now and what is the future of the innumerable young women with disabilities in a country that has no option for them?
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 15, 2006 | okhla
One of the devious ways to disrupt pwhy in the (mistaken) hope of wishing it away that local politicos have adopted is to first get some simple minded staff to commit a serious lapse that forces us to take action and then edge that person to take us to labour court.
This often makes many friends and detractors question my decision of employing people from the community. And each time I find myself wondering whether that very stubborn and intuitive decision needs to be reviewed.
There are many reasons for my decision ranging from giving employment, raising social status to ensuring sustainability if and when slums are relocated.
But the incident with babli took care of the last vestige of doubt, if any. No matter how much we help people, there is no guarantee that they will continue to follow the course charted for them. The only way to ensure that children remain in school, are not used and abused, and so on is to have your own staff right there almost 24/7.
Babli is now back in school in the morning and at pwhy okhla in the afternoon and many hawk eyes now ensure that this continues.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 13, 2006 | two indias
When Sitaram came to us three years ago seeking monetary help for his son’s cardiac surgery we never knew that he was heralding a new avatar for pwhy, that of fixing hearts quite literally.
It took us two months to get the needed funds and raju today is a strapping young lad in secondary school and top of his class. Then came Arun, Babli, Nandini and the others setting up what we affectionately call our heartFix hotel.
And with each little broken heart came a huge wave of support. What used to take months and loads of emails, now just takes one or two phone calls.
So when little Anil came by asking help for help for the placement of a Pulmonary Artery Band, no emailing was required, not even a blog saying who he was. But little Anil does deserves his place here. He is 8 months old and has spent most of his life on this planet in hospital. Each breathe he takes is an effort, but the little soul fights to live on. His father makes bamboo blinds and barely enough to sustain his family. We pray that the PA band will settle Anil’s congenital problem and he will spared bypass surgery.
Recently a TV channel had a talk show on medical tourism whereby the Rajus, Anils, Bablis of rich countries come to India for medical help. This leads one to think about where our Anils go! The answer is brutal and ruthless : normally they are left to die!
This is another side of the two Indias. When Raju came by many thought we were insane to take on another mantle. Were we not and education programme?
Well maybe there is another answer to the question we asked. Some of our Anils and Bablis are gently directed by the God of Lesser Children to people like us.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 12, 2006 | Uncategorized
Welcome to the land where small is not beautiful..
Wonder what I am getting at?
Two recent news items caught my eye. One pertains to sealing and its effect of small traders, and the other on the proposed amendment to regulate foreign donation to NGOs. In both cases the big fish will get away but the small will suffer and ultimately die.
Keeping an eye on nefarious activities is understandable but believing that those who engage in such activities will not find other ways of doing so is naive.
Those who are engaged in trying to make a difference by reaching out to the many who have been let down – children, women – know how difficult it is to get help from within the country. Somehow the word NGO is circumspect and viewed with extreme suspicion and disdain, making people like us wary of even using it to identify one’s self. True that it unfortunately conjures in the minds of people the image of huge organisations with large budgets and heavy administrative setups . It is also true that many are just that. Now with the added scare of NGOs being used to fund terror, mistrust will grow.
The flip side that there are some people who set up projects with an honest approach and are engaged in good work. The flip side is also is that funds normally come from across the seas, where even our kin become more charitable.
I spent the first years of pwhy trying to get support from friends, relatives, school buddies of spouse etc watching personal funds whither as very little was forthcoming. Everyone always had a good excuse, one more ludicrous than the other. Must add that what I sought was tiny, something people would flitter away in an evening. I even came up with my one rupee a day pitch, thinking that what I was asking was actually so tiny that it became invisible. But to no avail. Then our famous FCRA got cleared and the same story was sent out on the net reaching people I did not know.
Distance makes the heart larger I should say as I was overwhelmed by the support that came from young students and professionals over and above friends that I had known for long. The sums were not big, as many took the rupee-a-day option that translated into a tiny 8 dollars a year. But we survived month after month and year after year. We survived and hundreds of kids did not drop out, 20 different kids spent a few hours a day laughing and being loved, 30 people got employment and could feed their families, 7 hearts got repaired..
Now with the new law that will soon come to force, we may lose much of this support. Not because we are dishonest or dubious but because meeting the requirements will deprive us of the spontaneous support of small donors who often react to appeals from the heart. Moreover, the new law also states that a tab will be kept on whether or not the money is used for development. This will open the doors to witch hunting, settling of personal scores not to forget new avenues for under the table payments as who defines what development is!
For organisation like ours who do not believe in corpus funds and think that money given for a cause should be used as soon as possible, any blocking of funds to answer queries would mean no money for the next month. For organisation like ours which have very restricted small administrations, a point appreciated by our donors, it may mean increasing that budget to meet the new requirements. It alsomeans retructuring our donor base in a way that may jar with what we believe in.
But above all it will mean losing the warmth and spontaneity that characterised pwhy as its number of supporters grew across countries and lived the joy and angst of our little effort with us.
Small is not beautiful in our land!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
Over the past six years I have had to fight many battles. Lost some, won some. Sometimes the adversary is too formidable as was the case of the MLM people who came with their rehearsed pitches, their alluring promises and their fast track to riches!
They came, saw and conquered many young men and women promising them a quantum leap measured of course in gleaming bikes, and natty cars. My sensible words fell on deaf years: some listened by respect, and others just took the longer road to avoid the babbling old lady telling them to take one step at a time.
I felt a pang of guilt as pwhy boys and girls were naturally selected to lead as their social and communication skills were well honed by years of tender grooming. I watched with despair as some dropped out of colleges to be able to sell more computer software to gullible slum dwellers. The MLM gang was quick to scale down their minimum qualifications to ensnare more lads. Graduate, to class XII, to class X and even less.
I prayed my favourite God to make the pyramid crash sooner than later but to no avail. I have to confess that all the ex pwhyans have gleaming bikes and some have even bought cars, leaving me even more uncomfortable as I know the inevitable outcome.
So R got his brand new Innova. It is parked on the other side of the Giri Nagar road, in front of his tiny shack that is barely sufficient for the family of 5, next to the tinier shack that is the bathroom. Every morning his teen age sisters open the car, switch the AC, put on loud music and happily brush their teeth and have their morning tea. The car is also often used as a sitting or even sleeping space!
That is what happens when cars land in slums..
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 9, 2006 | Uncategorized
I watched the sealing drive yesterday. The targets were big fish be they showrooms, offices of even government institutions. The government suddenly took the rule of law very seriously.
Later in the day I read an article ringing the death knell of small NGOs located in areas identified as seal-able!
The logic presented by the author was simple: such NGOs had chosen those premises as hey were often cheaper. This enabled them to present their donors with small admin bills. Were they to move into commercial areas then the rent and other charges would often be higher than the amount spent of the development work they do.
NGOs normally do not break laws, however when those are poorly defined then they may inadvertently do so. It is a well known fact that donors are weary of inflated admin costs, so it stands to reason to think that were small NGOs asked to move out, they would have no option but to cease their activities. It is true that there are some NGOs who are not quite what they seem , but small NGOs like ours have a role to play in a city where the government has abdicated many of its duties. Not many alternatives are left for takes.
At present we are on safe grounds, but who knows one day laws may change or be suitably modified to meet numbers and the sealing gang may land on us. I have been thinking of this and have come and realised that pwhy is maybe not in such a bad situation as most of our activities are nomadic. The solution will be to turn every activity into a nomadic one and become a jhola – satchel – NGO. Each one packing the need of the day in a satchel and taking off for the garbage dump, road side, shanty assigned to us and ending the day in your own drawing room to take stock and plan the next day.
I remember many of my detractors criticising my stubborn resistance to enclosing pwhy in the confines of four walls, but somehow I held on and feel vindicated.
So jhola days may be round the corner…
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