by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 17, 2005 | Uncategorized
In our fight for survival, we put up an adoption plan whereby we seek kind hearts to ‘adopt’ the nine sections which make pwhy, each with its dreams, its hopes, its aspirations…
I have many times, maybe even too many for some, shared my own dreams for pwhy. I try with passion to defend its very spirit which can be summed up in the words: a mater of the heart.
In our dark times, many well wishers have tried to convince me to give up my quest for caring hearts and accept the more conventional way of institutional and impersonal funding.. I must confess that even if I sometimes nodded in agreement, my heart refused to follow and I lay in the dark of the night looking for a sign to vindicate my stand..
Last week another volley of mails was sent asking friends to come together and help us. I must admit that I got my share of emails telling me to change my ways, but I kept my fingers crossed and waited for a sign to show me I was right and this morning it happened as one of our centre got adopted by a old friend and supporter.. and I heaved a sigh of relief..
This friend of why is someone I have never met, someone who has never been to pwhy.. but to come back to my favourite parable, she is one who understood the secret reveald to St Exupery’s Little Prince by an untamed Fox, someone who can see with her heart..
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 16, 2005 | Uncategorized
“I will donate for the child if you guarantee he will live” were the harsh words that I heard in the dead of a night when we were looking for funds for Raju our first heart surgery. This followed an appeal on TV and was one of the numerous calls that were made on that September night.
I just answered as sweetly as I could that I could not even guarantee that I would be alive…Raju was operated upon, is now back in school and a fine boy at that.
I had forgotten this incident till today as we sat in the weak afternoon sun, talking about Nanhe and his forthcoming operation and the unecessary delays as the child is in great pain. A few friends were also present and we shared our helplesness as we foresaw no real future for this severly handicapped child, who cannot walk or talk and is dependent on a single parent who can barely support her family. I had thought that the friends present would come forward to help Nanhe and I must confess I was a little taken aback.. till I realised that people do not invest in a child who has no real tomorrows…
Yet Nanhe wants to live.. and he shows it in so many ways.. never complains.. always smiles.. even though all conspires against him – he fell of his mom’s cart and has four stitches -. He even has friends now and is happy…
Now the question is: he is worth investing in.. and what one can one do..
The answer is simple: fill his life with as much happiness as we can. Get the minimum surgery needed to make him pain free, get him diapers – they cost a bomb – so that he retains his dignity and can be taken out to parks, and other places… we know that his life will be short, and that is the best for him.. but it is still a life, a life that is worth investing in..
And let me tell you, his life has a purpose.. it shows us that life no matter how wreteched is to be celebrated and lived to its very end..
And if you need any proof, just look at his smile….
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 13, 2005 | Uncategorized
This is Babli’s world..
It is rich in some things and terribly lacking in others. It is filled with smiles and love, courage and determination, dreams and hope, prayers and belief.. all things intangible yet precious. Bablis’ home is tiny, maybe as small as a bathroom or a storeroom in upmarket areas. It has one rickety charpoy, not enough bedding to keep this family of five warm on what is said to be the coldest night in years. A few pots and pans in a corner, a few empty containers making you wonder what dinner will be tonight.
But life goes on in this home, and traditions are respected, the freshly painted walls bear witness to this: Diwali just went by. It is probably in this space that Santosha, Babli’s mom whispered her desperate prayer, that Babli expressed her silent desire to be a ‘police’ – , in this very space that the little family gets together at night to share the happenings of the day gone by. At present the topic must be Babli’s imminent heart surgery as prayers have been heard and dreams have taken the first step towards realisation…
The smiles of the children’s face are proof of the strange and almost incomprehensible fact that this is a happy place. For Babli it is a home she is proud of and from where she draws strength.
Yes Babli’s operation will happen soon.. it is just a matter of settling a few hurdles.. another miracle is in the making.. but that is not why I write this post.
I write this post to dispel what many of my peers think about what they callously call ‘jhuggiwallahs“, and quickly qualify with a string of negative traits. No, all jhuggiwallahs are not thiefs or crooks. They are just like us and live with dignity and courage in conditions many of us cannot begin to fathom. Babli is the fourth heart surgery, and we have supported each of the families. An operation of this magnitude often entails a parent having to take leave and we have have helped them with food and basic amenities. Let me assure you that once the child is through, we have never been harassed for help. The only thing we have received is an embarassing amount of gratitude.
I was hurt, angry and ultimately very sad by the outburst of a visitor who was witnessing our planning for babli operation. She cried out: “do not give them food for more than two days, all jhuggiwallahs are crooks and they will harass you for more”.
No ma’am, they are not crooks, they are human beings just like us…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 11, 2005 | Uncategorized
A mail dropped by this morning. It simply it said:
I too want to help the slum children in our Hyderabad city, and as a first step started with a nearby slum in the outskirts. I now understand the uphill task that it is, but I won’t give up.
The main problem is the motivation. How to do that? How to keep those children off the street , to the gambling( oh there are so many versions!) the fights etc..? How to convince the parents to send them to the free teaching classes?
It was from someone who had written four years back seeking information about our work. I first thought I would reply the mail in the customary manner, but as I sat down to I realised that the words conveyed had a far deeper meaning for us at project why..
First of all it meant that a milestone had been crossed as we had moved from those who began asking many ‘whys’ to one who could now answer the hows. And to me personally, it was a validation of my often misconstrued objective of making pwhy a model that can be replicated. And if our experience can help someone wanting to reach out to children, then I am entitled to my Eureka today.
What I would like to tell our friend is that the first step is the hardest one… often one wants to but the desire never gets translated into action..but once the first step taken, once you have locked eyes honestly with the first child, there is no going back.. you just have to remember one thing: you cannot solve all the problems that surround you, but even if one life is changed, it would have ben worth the effort.. we took the first step in November 2000, never looked back and have a fair track record as proof of our success.
Now to come to the specific hows mentioned, the answer is that there is no single rule. Remember that you are doing this work because children are on the streets, because they gamble, because parents do not understand..
Even five years down the line we still face the same problems and find solutions specific to the particular situation as we are in a land where individualism is celebrated and hence no one solution works. You can only find the right solution if you have assessed the situation correctly. Many a times we have been shocked by things once we took the time to find out. In some cases you may fail but that should not deter you. You just need to be patient, forget your ego and remember your objective. Sometimes you may even have to befriend the local goon, use humour with the kids telling them that if they want to be bad then they should aim to be an educated Don… You have to accept to enterhis world first, before you pull the child out of it..
You just have to wear down your detractor of the time by using very Gandhian methods. It is during my work in the slums that I understood the sagacity of Gandhi.
There are times when you may have to compromise; that is often the case when you deal with parents, so readjust your timings, accept to look after the younger sibling while the elder one studies.. And somethings you will have to accept quietly, hoping that the next generation will understand..
But never give up. The children have paid far too much for the mistakes of us adults, ranging from ignorance to callousness.. It is time we made it up to them.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 10, 2005 | Uncategorized
Nanhe has a smile to die for… and yet does he have a reason to smile, one wonders…
The youngest of five children, he was not even given a name, simple called nanhe..the tiny one. Nanhe has multiple disabilities. When he landed on planet why he could barely hold his head. The innumerable scars on his head were sufficient proof of the number of falls that child had suffered. Incontinent because of impaired kidneys, Nanhe was also often the butt of ridicule and repugnance.
Nanhe came to project why a few months back and has become an important part of our special section. As he is carried out of Sitaram’s blue vehicle, we are treated to his special smile, a moment we look forward to every morning. Nanhe participates in all activities and is even starting to take a few halting steps in spite of his deformed feet. And yet his pain is far from over as he has been diagnored with kidney and bladder stones and needs emergency surgery next week to clear a blockage that is causing him severe pain.
Nanhe has an infective joie de vivre, but as I watch him every morning I wonder what this child’s tomorrows are going to be.. and I feel totally helpless.. we will deal with one problem but another will appear and even if we heal the body, what hapens next, Nanhe can never lead a normal life..
Nanhe lost his father and his mother barely manages to feed her family, one in which three children have disabilities. A brave woman indeed but with all odds against her..
These are moments when one cannot call logic to the rescue. Some will say karma, but whose karma, the mother’s or the little child’s?
And yet everything in little Nanhe’s demeanour is impregnated with a desire to live.. so what we can do is make those days as happy as possible … and maybe, just maybe, nanhe is there to show us that life is worth living… provided you do things right
