Kim.. the ambassador of our dreams.

Kim.. the ambassador of our dreams.

kim

When Kim called a few week back to say he wanted to feature project why in his The Strait Times, I was surprised wondering what I had done to receive such an honour. I must confess that in the days preceding his arrival, I spent many hours wondering whether we would meet his expectations.

Kim landed with his photographer Fen and his warm smile was enough to set my mind to rest. It was a warm Sunday morning where we had to drive miles to meet little Utpal, and then go to a baby christening in the slum. As the day went by I knew that I had met another person who saw with his heart and that he would able to see project why as it should be seen.

Never mind the garbage dump in lieu of class rooms or the rather makeshift structure that we work in, Kim and Fen caught the love and passion that infuse our work, the smile of the special children as they dance and sing with abandon, the mischief of the boys who know that project why is the only place where they can claim their childhood and the hospitality of the humble rickshaw driver as he proudly serves them tea in his home.

We talked, or rather I talked and he listened, sometimes taking notes as I poured out my dreams, my hopes, shared my achievements and my failures not withholding anything as I knew that there was no need of pretending or shying about anything.

As I write these words, I have not seen what Kim wrote but the number of mails that have dropped in my mailbox and moved me to tears, are proof enough of the fact that the magic of Kim’s words has been the best ambassador of my dreams.

Click here to discover some of the heartwarming messages from Singapore
Read Kim’s story Suffer not little children here

but also for what we do not do

but also for what we do not do

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Have not written about mr. p for a long time. well it is said that no news is good news. he is doing great in school and his mom is doing great at the rehab centre.

His surrogate dad has been lurking around, trying to find the right excuse to scrounge a few pennies for his next drink. Needless to say that at this moment in time my detractors are having a field day filling his fuzzy inebriated head with vile ways on how to extort some money. I know that there is nothing he can do apart having nuisance value that can be easily dealt with.

But something stops me each time I think of dealing with this problem.

Moliere the French playwright wrote: It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do. These words keep flashing in my mind and it took me a while to understand why.

N is a drunk, but he is also the only father figure mr p has known. I cannot forget the special bond the two had and the genuine love mr p felt for this man. I cannot set aside the fact that in spite of everything he is the one who gave the stability of a home, no matter how erratic, to this child for the first 4 years of his life.

One day when mr p grows up and when I am not around, he may ask himself or others why I did not help his father. That day I do not want to have to fall in his eyes so it becomes incumbent for me to try my very best and do something for N. I may not succeed, but a least I would have acted and done my best and would be able to look into mr p’s eyes and say “I tried”!

This evening the now famous trio of maamji, radhey and amit bhaya will take N to a AA meeting, the same road that I took with mrp’s mom four months ago.

This is the only honorable things to do.

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to fight is much better than to win…

One of my favourite authors has been oriana fallaci. In her often acerbic and cutting words I have many a times found inspiration.

In her letter to a child never born, which is a commentary on life itself she says: ” to fight is much better than to win, to travel much better than to arrive: once you have won or arrived all you feel is a great emptiness… and to overcome your emptiness you have to set out on your travels again, create new goals..”

With a few alterations this could be a very apt description of what we are facing at pwhy today. True that we did not quite arrive or win, but we have reached moment in time when things have to be redefined and new goals set.

I always held that pwhy had to remain dynamic and adapt to situations. When I set this out, I was thinking of the programmes and the need to adapt them to field requirements, but today I see that they apply also to the management and running of the project.

In my quixotic belief that good was inherent in each one and just needed to be sought, I never thought that problems would arise from within the team. I guess I never imagined that there I would be faced with detractors and continued in my naive conviction that no one would want to do away with someone imparting education. But oh darling this is India, a land where the powerful can only retain their power riding on the shoulders of illiterate masses, and anyone daring to disturb this equation is enemy number one!

So we have reached an impasse, a state of perfect and unproductive immobility and we need to chart out the future. This was conveyed to team projectwhy and each section was told that they had to raise 50% of what was needed, and I would meet the other half.

I love my team, like you would a child, and I feel amused at how much they shy of asking, even if it is a rupee. Come on, old biddy, you are the one who changed their status, made them teachers, and now these mams and sirs take life seriously and begging – whatever the form is infra dig. What they need to comprehend is that seeking funds to empower and teach is the first step to acquiring freedom.

If they seek money for the work they do they actually create new jobs, new markets and opportunities for the area they work in over and above ensure that kids do not drop out. Now that is far more than they politician/bureaucrat duo do.

The challenge I face today is to make them understand that, to shake them out of their torpor and give them a set of new eyes to see the world in a different way, when they are the centre and the kingpin.

Not easy, but eminently doable as I myself was one of those who never asked for money, even the one that was owed to me. Today I have perfected the art of high tech begging.

So I set out on my travels again…

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full circle

full circle

kiranandkomal

Kiran and Komal are sisters. One is 6 and the other 16 days! Kiran was born on the day pwhy took off on its maiden flight. It was a time of dreams and visions, of hope and determination. It was also a time when we believed that good will prevail, that people will understand and take their lives in their own hands..

We kept on dreaming though at times the dreams seemed sated, but we held on to them trying one option after the other, battling enemies we could not have conjured, even in our wildest fantasy. There were some dreams that came true: children stopped dropping out of school, we repaired a few broken hearts, and above all we found well wishers all over the world. But somehow the bad outdid the good and we realised that our main dream – that of sustaining the project from within the community – turned into a nightmare. Surreptiously we found ourselves dragged into the usual you give, I take; you provide, I receive, moving into a state of immobility.

Just as Kiran had heralded hope, Komal seemed to have a different role. Her little dark face and protruding tongue reminded one of Kali, the goddess who destroys evil and protects those who seek her. Was there a message that one had to take stock, redefine our dreams and start once again..

Who knows?

Welcome to planetwhy Komal.

micro reflection of a macro reality

Strange that something I have always held as true is validated time and again, even when you pray that this one time one should be proved wrong.

When we set out to establish a model for education support in order to contain drop out rates, we wanted to evolve one that could be replicated and one that whit stood the test of time and space. Hence our decision to select local resources both human and material. Now if we were to go by school results as the only criteria of success, then we have been successful. But that is not enough as statistics published last week state that 100 000 children between 6 and 10 years of age are not in school in Delhi alone.

Were there many little clones of pwhy in all areas where we these kids are, than maybe things would be different. But that entails an in-built sustainability and that is where we have not done as well. Our efforts to seed and nurture the one-rupee programme has been a non starter.

My firm conviction that this is the ultimate weapon that would free children remains stubbornly in my mind. What seems to be the problem is our lack of competence in packaging and marketing the idea.

So I thought the time had come for a debriefing and the first step was to cross-examine myself. There are many things that happened along these six years that I could not have imagined. One is our frequent trysts with the labour courts and the other is the extremely passive attitude of some of our staff who refuse to take things in their hand and content themselves with doing what they think is their duty leaving me to raise funds for their ‘salaries‘! If many funders have been honest enough to ask what would happen after me, the staff members have not.

The fault is not with them; the fault lies in India’s reality where any social grouping is the reflection of the macro reality. What is good for the gander.. says the proverb. So all societal ills are very much part of our work, the ones that prevail across India, and the ones that are particular to Delhi. Divisive forces ready to play the caste/creed game, the sarkari (government) job syndrome which means goes by the credo: minimum work and maximum cribbing, the lack of motivation to take challenges and the plethora of dubious well wishers waiting to pounce of soft targets like us with the vilest accusations.

To be able to fine tune pwhy as a model, it has become imperative to take some tough steps in order to be able to turn the equation and make people want and seek our presence, be it parents or staff members.

The innumerable problems that plague India will not find a solution if they are addressed from the top only. It is only when things change at the micro level that programmes will percolate down and reach out the true beneficiaries. In the present scenario what is meant for the poor cleverly and insidiously hijacked..

It is time for some plain talking at pwhy, even if it means starting again, the difference being that this time all programmes will be initiated by the beneficiaries and nurtured by them.

I have resisted this many times, be it my ego, or my reticence that I had been wrong, or my innate and candid faith in the goodness of all beings, or my incapacity to assess the deviousness of my detractors, or my belief that my ways would prevail. I do not know.

Today I realise that, I too was a reflection or the macro reality, and that what was needed was to turn the tables.

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