by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 18, 2006 | Uncategorized
Never explain – your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway, said Elbert Hubbard. Maybe that is why a blog written a few days back has been lying unpublished. Each time, my finger wanders towards the publish button, something holds me back.
Wonder why. Is it because what has happened looks so terrible, because it holds within it so many assumptions each needing to be addressed and denied? I do not know.
Is it because a touch of that key will maybe alienate many forever and leave us rudderless, or is it because one is afraid of tarnishing one’s now glowing image needs?
Let me explain as best I can now that I can view things with a little distance and less anger and even some hum our. Let me start by a asking you a question: what would you do if one day for not fault of yours, without any prior information you received two envelopes with two drafts, no letter or explanation barring a mention of the counterfoil stating that your accounts stand closed?
After wondering for an instant who the generous donor was, I read the words with horror and felt my whole world crash as innumerable images rushed helter skelter in my tired brain. I am sure my head grew a few more white hairs!
To cut a long saga short let me just say that as an easy way out and after operating our accounts for two whole years and not finding any fault, a huge bank decided that we were non-grata and just threw us out without any professional ethics probably thinking that we were to small to react. Surprisingly the same giant sent us two letters dated later than the draft that asked for a certain papers and with no mention of the closure.
When we asked for a reason and explanation and at least for a letter to the authorities stating the reason for such action, we just got wishy washy replies and a vague reference to Bombay being the ultimate authority.
Had this been a personal account of even a business one, I may have thought twice before taking Goliath but 600 pair of eyes was all that was needed to realise that at least the God of Lessor children was with me. So knowing that had done no wrong I wrote a letter to Bombay which had been held to me as the ultimate Goliath!
An answer came and then phone calls and vague explanations. The battle is still on and though I want no one hurt I still want to know why I was treated this way and above all a way to redress the tort.
The battle is on and I will no rest till it is won. However if I stand by what I was taught as a little girl my a doting father: always look for the larger picture, maybe there is a lesson to be learnt: work like ours will only succeed when the basic support comes from within. So no matter how things end, one has to work towards the elusive one rupee option as all other solutions, no matter how easy and comfortable, are fragile and finite.
True one will have to deal with the there is no smoke.. types, they always lurk around as it would give them the awaited opportunity to slime out of commitments. One will also have to explain and vindicate one’s self and the trust painfully and patiently gained over seven long years
Yes one will have to pick up the pieces carefully and gently, and weave them together again with the hope that no cracks remain. And yet there is another lesson to be learnt, one that corroborates my almost intuitive vision when I wrote the first official document for pwhy, one that highlights the vulnerability of any developmental work that depends on outside support: true success lies in one’s ability to build a support system within the group one works with. One that is so small that it escapes all possible attacks, and yet powerful enough to grow by the day.
I just hope that those who stood by us will continue to do so.
Note: For those who are curious the problem seems to have arisen from the fact that someone forgot to look at all the documents filed and took a hasty Poncus Pilate way out.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 18, 2006 | common school
If all goes well tiny tots in Delhi will not have to face the dreaded interview to get admission in a school. However the procedure suggested seems rather complex. Whereas the 20 points given to proximity is a great one as it maybe be the harbinger of the still elusive common school, the 20 marks reserved for the education of the parents seems to deal a blow on those who may want a better tomorrow for their kids. Even if their relentless hard work can meet the fees, they cannot reinvent themselves.
I wonder how transparent this system is going to be, and how it will actually work on the ground. It is sad that one has become so used to people circumventing the system in today’s India, that even before a new system has been set in place, one is looking for the loopholes and ways to beat it.
However for those who love kids, it is a huge relief to see that they will not be subjected to grueling preparations at an age when all they should be doing is discovering themselves and the world.
In a country where education is a constitutional right, every child should have a place in a good school. Whopping amounts are spent on universilisation of education, but the ground reality is abysmal. Even in the country’s capital city schools lack basic amenities like toilets, drinking water and sometime even a roof. If state run schools were improved then many parents would find it a good option for their children as a simple perusal of the city’s map shows that every locality has a school at walking distance.
Long and dangerous journeys in badly driven vehicles is not what any parent wants for his child, but the social mores renders the government school infra dig. Like many things in India, the solution lies in a reversal of the present way but no one is listening, or rather no one wants to.
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 14, 2006 | Uncategorized
I have been battling many demons and what now looks like trivial problems, when my good friend mr god decided to call me to order in his inimitable way.
We had been invited to talk about pwhy at a expat gathering when another ‘project’ was also presented by some of the ladies themselves. I must confess that at first we were a little put off as it seemed we were losing a bit of the limelight. How was I to know that it was mr god at work!
As the project was introduced and images flashed on the white wall my hackles stood up. And as one image followed the other I knew that this our presence their was for a reason.
The project is question as an orphanage for little girls an hour’s drive away. And as the lady shared what she had seen I knew that I was looking at something that was evil.
The worst was the plight of 15 little disabled girl who lay in their dirt with no one to look after them. As the last slide was projected I found myself looking for the lady who seemed to be the one in charge and offered our help. She gave me the name of a person who turned out to be a kind hearted well wisher and he asked us to come as soon as we could.
The place turned out to be a house of horrors: over 50 girls and 15 disabled girls between the age of 2 and 15 lived live without any one to look after them, not a single woman is there to care for them. The place is filthy and foul smelling, children are not bathed, their clothes ripped and some do not have wear undergarments. There seems to be regular physical abuse and god knows what else. The swami in question does not seem to believe in education and the children never go out.
What was the most disturbing thing was the fact that this operation has been going on for 30 years yet no girl was over 15! Where are the missing girls, and above all who are these girls?
My mind traveled back to the days when I first met Manu but somehow this sight was far more disturbing. I still do not know how the little girls are going to be saved, but saved they have to be. Every extra hour the children have to be spend in this house of horrors weigh heavily on my conscience..
We need to act!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 13, 2006 | Uncategorized
A young class IX student, just 14 years old killed himself… the reason being his public humiliation by the principal.. the reason for that being his delay in paying his fees. Jatinder was the son of a driver who had dared dream huge dreams for his son and enrolled him in this school.
Public humiliation in front of his peers, and inability to sit for his half yearly examinations were too much for this child. He simply put an end to his life. Adults often fail to realise how fragile children’s egos are and they revel in flinging unkind words not realising the damage they can have.
One of the reasons project why began its curriculum support programme stemmed out of a public humiliation. It was in a principal’s office that 6 class X boys were dismissed as useless gutter filth and sure failures in front of me. I saw how they cringed and shrunk and had I not been there to pick up the pieces I wonder what would have happened to them. To salvage their hurt egos I told the principal that they would clear their Boards. A challenge immediately accepted by my lads whose body language changed in an instant. The said Boards were a mere 2 months away, their classroom the roadside in the bitter December cold, their class hour: 7 am. But they came and gave their best and all cleared their examinations. Some of the boys are today in college, others working, one has even bough a car!
When young Rani who now is one of the pillars of project why was beaten in public for being two days late with her school fees and subsequently fainted, her illiterate but sensible mom stepped him and took the only decision she thought right: withdrawing her child from school. Today Rani has cleared her XII Boards while working with us and taking on challenge after challenge.
Jatinder had no one to pick op the pieces of his hurt ego and probably felt that he had no other way but killing himself. probably he did not even realise that his death would have the aftermath we are seeing. He just could not walk back into his world both at school and at home with his head high.
Often adults take insensitive decisions without thinking of the terrible consequences they can lead to. My heart goes out to Jatinder who many may forget after a few days. I juts hope and pray that his death will not go waste and that over and above the arrest of those guilty, some laws will be made to deal with such matters to ensure that no child has to take his life again.
may he rest in peace!
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by Anuradha Bakshi | Oct 8, 2006 | okhla
Some of you may remember the incident when cupid was responsible for the breaking of a wall at our Okhla centre. The wall was repaired by the very boys who broke it.
But the matter did not rest there. The words of the fat man were still buzzing in my head. Today I finally met all the boys in question. Actually I first saw them peeping from a tiny hole in the tent, as the children danced merrily. You could almost feel that somewhere those boys everyone had given up on, were longing to be part of the fun.
I slid out quietly and went to where they were calling out for aiyya, as he, I was told, was a leader. A nice kid, with a broad smile jumped down and introduced himself as aiyya, a little perplexed he stood in front of me like a little boy caught on the wrong foot. I felt immense tenderness for this child that unknown circumstances had branded a goonda.
I told him how glad I was to meet him and wondered if there was something I could do for him. English, he said, I want to learn English and computers. Consider it done, but you have to look after the safety of the computers and this school, was my reply. We chatted for a while and I told him that the fat man had warned me about him being dangerous, but added that to me he was a child in need of love. And that very moment a well meaning but insensitive man told me to ask them why they had not studied when their parents told them to?
I shut him up by telling him that what was past was past, and that today was another day and a first step to any dream. We talked for a long time about many things and the boys just stood there and listened.
An extreme sadness filled me as I watched this young men who could have been so many things had we adults played our parts correctly; had the powers that be given them everything that was rightfully theirs, had vile people not used their tender minds to fulfill hidden agendas, had someone been there the first time they made a mistake to gently set them back on course, had someone been there just to tell them they were the best..
So many questions that will remain unanswered, so much hurt to heal, so much time to make up for.
As I left, I realised that I had been made leader of the pack, a huge responsibility if at least I had the courage not to let them down.
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