And the rapes go on.. mercilessly.. unabashedly… with impunity. Ages vary.. it could be a one year old or a sixty year old with everything in between… all you need is a vagina! The latest that has hit the news big is the rape of a 25 year old who was raped by the taxi driver meant to drive her home safely. And like each and every time, the knee jerk reactions are spot on: ban the cab company, ban all the cab companies. As if that would help. If one were to take this ludicrous logic to its absurd end then as the man was a repeat offender one should ban the judicial system that set him free and as he was in possession of a character certificate issued by the police, then ban the police! And then why not just ban men altogether. Or better still as has been often suggested: ban women from dressing as they like, going where they like, drinking what they like and so on.

Statistics show that on an average 92 women are raped every day in India and 4 in Delhi. This is simply 92 too many! According to a psychologist many taxi drivers were migrants from less-developed areas where patriarchal attitudes remain prevalent and were not accustomed to seeing women out alone late at night or dressed differently. The same was said about the perpetrators of the heinous Nirbhaya rape. And what about the cops who treat victims as perpetrators and blame the way women dress for the rape they have come to report. I guess they too are patriarchal just like those who favour honour killing. And what about the politicians who seem to sing the same tune.

But that is not all. Instead of being outraged by the fact that a woman was raped, many seem to think that she should not have fallen asleep, or her friends should have made sure she get home and so on. But a rape is a rape and cannot be acceptable under any circumstance. And anyway if the said lady was according to some ‘careless’, how does this argument hold in the case of the rape children where it is always someone you trust that violates your innocence.

I read a recent article that looks at the recent rape from the point of view of the perp.The author quotes studies wherein it is stated that of lack of sexual functionality could be one of the dysfunctions perceived by the offender, to make up for which, rape becomes a tool of power reassurance. Till date we have looked at rape from the victim’s role as it is always assumed that rape is about sex. In the case of the recent rape, the author opines that the woman contrasts his own self perceived inadequacies that included a life of crime, a mediocre background in academics and a job of a taxi driver, generally considered less than ideal. What if he could dominate her? That would be the ultimate power reassurance tool for him! So of if it did not happen this time, the stage was set for a potential rape in the future.

The same author goes on to make another point this time about law enforcement. He quotes Douglas, who in his book Anatomy of Motive, who posits that sex offenders (who are different from ordinary men who rape in specific contexts, such as war, where their actions are attributable to the specific source of stress in their life, like say, the theatre of war) start off small, with crimes like voyeurism and depending upon the consequences they have to face, escalate into bigger crimes like sexual assault. So in the case of the cab driver, had the authorities done their job, this rape could have been prevented. But in a land were boys will be boys, and a plethora of family members are ready to jump at the defence of a boy who has committed an offence not realising the floodgates it can open, a lot still needs to be done. And let us not forget that the men who normally investigate these crimes belong to the ‘boys will be boys’ fraternity. What is needed is to sensitise police to the gravity of even the smallest offence against women. Only then can we hope to have things change.

The problem seems to be a disconnect between the way women have evolved and the moralistic and patriarchal attitude that still prevails. No one seems to be doing anything about bridging that gap. And yet until that is done, nothing will or can change. Men have to be taught to respect women but in a society like ours, where gender biases begin at home how does one begin to bring about change.

Talk of sex education and everyone is ready to slaughter you. But unless we take the bull by its horns, how can we ever tame it.

A young woman was raped in Delhi by the driver of the cab she had rented to drive her back from a party. To be on the safe side she had chosen a cab from a supposedly reputed company. Her prudence did not pay off as the billion dollar company failed to meet the basic safety requirements it promised. The driver in question was found to be a repeat offender! In the US the company boasts of a three-step screening we’ve developed across the United States, which includes county, federal and multi-state checks, has set a new standard. These checks go back 7 years. We apply this comprehensive and new industry standard consistently across all Uber products. Seems like they failed to state that the screening was not of the same standard for third world countries.

A petition has been started and has over 5000 signatures already. Good for them but I cannot but compare the situation to our petition that was started a few days ago, after the heinous rape of a six month baby. As I write these words our petition only has 143 supporters.

Children do not matter, and six months old matter even less.

Such is our world.

I have been very disturbed since I hard of the rape of a six month old baby in Gujarat last week. A friend and I started a petition that has till date only got ONLY 138 signatures. This in spite of our efforts to try and mobilise as many people as possible. I shared my pain and anger hoping that it would garner support. For me it was a sure shot as WHO would not be outraged at a six month old baby being so brutally raped. I guess there are some out there who are inured to such aberrations. I tried again to find out what had happened to that little soul. But my efforts were in vain as there is no news update about that little baby. Is she is alive? Is she gone to a safer place? I do not know. A little baby girl from a deprived family belonging to a remote village does not make good copy. Even the media who normally thrives on shocking news is silent. The life of a tiny child does not make a difference to any one. It does not create the slighted ripple in our society or our collective conscience.

Since that day many more children have been abused. A 60 year old predator raped a 6 year old in our capital city, a 50 year old sodomised a 10 year old again in our capital city. Children continue to be raped and no one cares. Children continue to be abused with impunity and this will not change unless we do something now!

Children need to be protected and need to be taught as early as possible ways to protect themselves. We, as a society, have to shed our moralistic garb and accept the fact that sex education is a must as it can be true first line of defines that can give result immediately. A child who is taught about ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’ can save herself from abuse as she is made aware of her body and of the parts that are not to be violated. A child that is taught to say NO and raise her/his voice can raise an alarm in case the ‘good’ uncle/neighbour/friend touches her/him in an inappropriate manner. And I would request the cynics and the Cassandras  to keep quiet as yes it may not always work but even if it does on one case, one child would have been saved. More so sex education is a must in  a society that is highly confused and needs to learn to set boundaries. It is definitely one of the many tools at our disposal. But unless the authorities understand and accept it and introduce age appropriate sex education in all schools, nothing will happen.

Education has to be responsive to the prevalent realities. Something that seems to have been forgotten.

I hope more people will come forward and sign this petition. Once we have a sufficient number then we plan to send it to opinion and decision makers in the hope that it reaches the right destination.

Please forward this petition to all the people you know. Think of that little baby who was violated and who suffers in silence. Please be her voice.

I am still trying to come to terms with the horrific rape of the six month old baby in Gujarat, if come to terms you can. Quite frankly only a very sick society can come to terms with sic horror. I had expressed my immediate reaction in a short blog yesterday while I was still under shock and seething in anger. Some friends reacted to the post asking, quite rightly, what could be done as I had urged all of us to become her voice. One friend suggested a petition. Great idea but we soon realised that it was easier said than done. Who do we petition and what do we ask for. Perhaps one needs to try and decipher, if one can, the whole situation.

My friend wrote in answer to my comment asking the deafening why: many reasons…women and children and second rate citizens, perps go scott free and even brag. There is no fear in the minds and hearts of the monsters. Everything she says is right. But there is more. If such incidents were isolated one would qualify the perpetrator as ‘monsters’; but rapes of toddlers in safe places like schools happens with sickening regularity. And in spite of the outrage, the anger, the lip service promises, nothing changes. So have we become a land of monsters and beasts. The statistics of child sexual abuse seems to point in that direction. Or are we a land of cowards who are able to hurt children because they know that their own kith and kin will protect them in the name of a misplaced code of honour. It is revolting to see how in a patriarchal society like ours, it is the women who shield their menfolk even if it means goings against their daughter! What better champion than your very own wife or mother. Maybe that is where the seed of the habitual ‘ it is her fault’ is planted and add hubris to it and you get the aberrations of your moral brigade and the cause of rape being what we wear, where we go etc. Worth a thought.

But let us get back to the little baby. I was appalled to see that she is no more news. I wanted to know whether she was still alive and listened to all news bulletins and googled like mad but there was no update. The life of a six month old mutilated baby does not make good copy and is not a vote bank either. Whether she lives or dies makes no ripple in our society.

But let us get back to the petition and define the what and who. Every minute lost is the risk of one child too many getting abused. The first thing that comes to mind is how we can protect potential victims. Sadly not much can be done for a six month old but something can be done for 3 years old and those older.

You may wonder why I have put this apparently plain drawing of a pair of scissors. This is what a 3 year old drew after she was raped and being interrogated by a psychologist. I do not think I need to  say more. I just wonder whether our little baby would have drawn the same picture had she been older. After seeing this drawing I could not sleep. It is imperative children are taught to protect themselves and the first lesson is ‘good touch, bad touch’. The next one is to scream NO. This is what an age appropriate sex education teaches to young children and we have to do it urgently. Every nursery school, every primary school has to teach this. But there is a huge problem. In India sex education is taboo. Even our last health minister feels it should be banned! Many across the board feel the same way, be they parents, teachers or policy makers.

So why not petition our Prime Minister, as the baby is from his state, to include age appropriate sex education in all schools!