by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 21, 2007 | common school
Two lost souls left this world yesterday. They had nothing in common bar the fact that they were in some way linked to pwhy.
Anil came to us almost exactly a year ago. He was 8 months old and suffered from a complex congenital heart problem. He needed multiple heart surgeries. We sponsored the first one and he was operated upon in March. His recovery was slow and he was in constant pain. It seemed that his chest bones had not been joined back properly something the doctors dismissed in a cursory way and said would be fixed at the next surgery. Anil barely ate and in spite of the love and care of his wonderful parents, Anil did not keep his appointment with the surgeons. He left this planet on his own freewill yesterday. A brave little fellow who will be remembered for his huge eyes and quiet manner.
Another lost soul left this earth yesterday crushed under the wheels of a speeding car. He was the husband of M, one of our ex staff members. M had come to me almost 6 years ago asking for help. Her husband was a drunk who earned his livelihood recycling junk but often brought nothing home. That day in a fit of temper he had thrown the food in the drain and she had nothing to feed her 5 kids. I gave her a job and for the next 2 or 3 years all was well. But sadly M a mercurial illiterate women got taken in by our detractors and lost her job.
M was always a difficult person and one who gave us many a sleepless night but today my heart goes out to her as she one again typifies the plight of women in India. Married off when they are still children without education of skill, their lives and social acceptability is totally dependent on the man they have been hitched to. As long as he is alive and no matter how wretched he is they are safe. Once he is gone they are reduced to nothing.
M had five children. Her daughter is of marriageable age, her youngest one still in primary school, her elder son a rogue. I wonder what she will do and how she will live on.
A sad day for all of us.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 17, 2007 | Uncategorized
As I walked away from the hospital ward where Utpal’s mom lay sleeping unaware of the terrible ordeal that brought her there, many whys crowded my mind. I guess we humans sometimes forget that we are mere humans as we get swayed by illusions of grandeur and hubristic ways. And when our carefully crafted plans crumble like a house of cards in front of our eyes we are lost forgetting that what is, is always the best.
As I sat and tried to come to terms with what had happened, I decided to share my angst with those who knew little Utpal. Many responded with supportive words but what truly set my mind at rest and gave immense strength was a beautiful poem that simply said:
Surrender:
i have surrendered.
i don’t make plans anymore.
and no sudden change disturbs.
i act out of my deepest desire
the petty ones’ve disappeared.
i don’t count how much i have
it is strange how much’s there.
i spend what i find in my wallet.
oddly, just enough in my purse.
feeding on meagre alms
what was once scarce
transforms to abundance
when i give imagination a chance
a particle is enough
to build the universe.
what if you did this too?
from soul search engine by al raines
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 14, 2007 | Uncategorized
I have never been a businesswoman and have always found economic theories as puzzling as double dutch. The only concept I could somewhat fathom was probably the supply and demand theory.
An old friend reconnected with us recently and asked whether we still needed help. He was one of those I regularly pounded with appeals for help till we somehow lost touch. He must have thought that perhaps by now we had become self sufficient! That is when the supply and demand theory sprung back into my mind after long time. In our work the demand always exceeded the supply, and how!
When we launched our new women centre barely a month ago we thought we would have a small creche, a small primary centre and a small vocational centre for women. In the span of four weeks or so the attribute small can only be ascribed to the space we have or te budget we initially made as we are flooded with children and women wanting to register and begin learning.
In our kind of work the demand will always be larger than the supply as sadly it is not easy to convince people to dip into their pockets and reach out to help others. As I said I am not an economist and maybe the rules of economics do not apply here, but I do feel that not reaching out to help others is being short sighted. A better educated and more aware population can only benefit each and everyone of us. On the other hand if the gap between the rich and poor, the have and have-nots, the privileged and underprivileged continues to widen at the rate we are seeing then all of us may have to pay a bitter price.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 12, 2007 | Uncategorized
Our one of a kind mr popples spent one night at home on his way back to school after Diwali holidays with his mom at our brand new women centre. As usual he was the proverbial ray of sunshine capable of lifting any sagging mood.
As we sat in the evening watching a film on TV, my daughter asked him what he would like to be when he grew up. I want to be a pasha was his answer. Little perplexed, I set out to ask him what the word pasha meant. He looked at me with his huge eyes and simply replied: a hero!
Not satisfies with his answer I egged him on as to why he wanted to be a hero. He again looked at me, this time in an slightly exasperated way and stated what he thought should have been the obvious: because a hero never dies even when he is shot.
So said I, would you like to be a pasha doctor, or a pasha pilot. He simply replied: yes. The important thing was not to die.
Popples is just five and I wonder what not dying means to a child. Difficult to decipher for someone my age.
It is amazing how children assimilate what they see and hear and how candidly they applied it to their won lives. It thus becomes very important to ensure that the right messages and images are given to them at that tender age. Unfortunately it is not easy as today’s kids live on mind boggling diets of images way beyond our control: TV, films, advertisement and peer knowledge. And they interpret what they see in their won way. What looks candid at 5 may become dangerous at an older age.
A chilling article in a national daily reveals the lifestyle of aaj ka bachalog – today’s children – and makes us wonder as to how to stop this infernal spiral for which we are responsible. In our rush to give the best to our children we have stopped giving the essential.
Popples at 5 can want to be a pasha as he watches Bollywood heroes battle and win. What is important is to slowly redefine the word for him so that it assumes new and more relevant meaning and makes him a good human being, in other words a true pasha!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Nov 10, 2007 | girl child
Delhi is slowly limping back to normal after a fortnight of festival and festivities. The air is gradually clearing up and the the crackers blasts are now sporadic though as ear shattering as ever. The roads on the morning after Diwali were a silent but shocking witness of the amount of hard earned money that went up in smoke and din.
There are many reasons assigned to the lore of bursting crackers on Diwali night. It is even said that that this was done to kill insects that abound after the rainy season! But today the smoke they create seems to be killing humans and not insects!
The question we are justified to ask is how does one alter or redefine mores and traditions that have gone out of sync with reality? Or rather who is empowered to do this. Religious heads? Civil society? Enlightened individuals?
Festival times is always one that disturbs me as it is one that makes us aware of the terrible and often lethal stranglehold of religious diktats. And nothing is more disquieting as the poor trying to find ways to acquire costly goodies to propitiate the gods even though their children go hungry. The belief that all hell will come loose if one fails to do so is what seems to guide this irrational behaviour.
Mores and traditions are so deeply ingrained into our lives that no matter what how hard one tries, they are difficult to dislodge. R has been working at pwhy for many years now. His daughter J has been our student since and is now in class X. She is a bright 16 year old who was all set to finish school. Last week her fate was sealed as her family found a suitable match and decided to get her married. As is always the case, her opinion was never sought. The deal was clinched and she remained a mute spectator watching helplessly as all her dreams were shattered one by one. J wanted to be a teacher! And I too stood helpless as my words fell on deaf ears: the adversary was too strong: one voice against an eternity of praxis.
My heart went out to this young girl and I silently petitioned all the gods in heaven to protect this child in years to come. More so as just last week we had to deal with another set of broken dreams. P, one of our young teachers recently married sought our help in resolving her sad plight: her husband now working for a software company and having a new set of friends found her unattractive and not up to the mark. What she wanted was to save her marriage. She like most Indian women, would not even think of leaving him though she is a well educated girl.
Traditions are so deeply embedded in our lives that the very thought of changing them is anathema. People are willing to agree with what you say till it touches their own lives. The way out is not easy, and yet it needs to be found.
