by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 17, 2008 | sustainability
Anything that does not grow dies where the words almost whispered by S, as I sat helpless hearing the ominous words that were slowly but surely obliterating my carefully constructed dream of many moons. A dream that perhaps seeded when the little face on this picture had lost his smile or maybe the day I first heard Manu’s heart wrenching cries.
The dream at first was barely coherent but it lived for a long time in my heart, a disquieting reminder that something was missing in the work I was engaged in. An intangible prompting urging me to conjure the absent link that would complete the picture.With each passing day and ensuing task the dream was spurred on and started assuming substance and form and above all a name. I simply called it planet why and to me it was just a logical extension of project why. And though by force majeure it could not be located in close proximity to pwhy, it shared the same spirit and was fired with the same passion and motivation. If project why was a place where dreams were crafted , planet why was where they remained safe.
As I sat defenseless watching my dream dissolve, my mind set on a frantic flight seeking desperate answers: where had I gone wrong; what had I missed; why was this happening. A new why that had to be answered as in it lay the safety of all the answers we had sought till now. It had all seemed flawless, cogent… The assault of words carried on mercilessly barely giving me time to keep up. The place was too far, the staff was not willing, the idea had not been shared, people had not been heard… I listened in silence, holding on the tears that were threatening to fall as words the heart could not express.
It was then time for alternatives, suggestions, other possibilities..
I sat and heard them all, processing them to the best of my ability and attempting to see if they could replace the dream. Anything that does not grow dies and yet each option proffered excluded growth and though attractive in the present moment was doomed to die. Something needed to be done, the dream had to be saved, too much depended on it.
A day has gone by. I have tried to process all I heard. I must admit that much of what was said made sense when considered within the realm of today: the today that hues the reality we see: the choice of place does seem incongruous for a guest house we hope to fill to capacity. The distance seems alarming to anyone who simply walks to work. The list goes on: it is true that I bear the guilt of pushing my ideas and not giving time for people to react. It is also true that I often do not word things appropriately. Whatever the reasons and the past errors it is not time for recriminations but time to come together in solidarity as no matter how perfect a dream it cannot become reality without the conviction of all concerned.
However as one held guilty I think I do have the right to pen a defense. Planet Why came to be because one took a quantum leap into the future in more ways than one. I understand that there is a sense of comfort and reassurance in the present day scenario. Pwhy looks manageable and viable. Planet why was conceived for the day when the need may be felt for a larger place that one owns and where one can grow; the day when all are tired of seeking rented space or angry at seeing our special kids now adults not being welcome. Come that day land would be a chimera. Our rock pile was certainly what not I would have wanted had I got all the cards in my hand but was the only one that fitted our tight pockets and one that is poised for a sparkling make over. One can never chose the ideal situation and perhaps the end of a dream came because we do not have the ability to look at the future.
I also fully comprehend that no one would like to invest in a dream that looks very fragile and shaky at present and deprived of its sustainability element planet why loses its raison d’etre and looks like yet another liability. I more than anyone am loath to take on any more than we have. The task of meeting the present requirement is already weighing on my tiring shoulders so I should be the one to refuse any added burden. Then why am I finding it almost impossible to let the dream go? Why is it that just like on many occasions in the past when my team seemed reluctant to take on an new task, I feel compelled to soldier on. There is no urgency, no child hurting, no cause to defend and yet the drive is much the same.
I know no one wants to see pwhy die for want of combattants to use the famous quote from Corneille (Le Cid Act IV, Scene I) and yet unless we think of a doable alternative this may just happen. In my 9 years of begging I have seen that if there is nothing new on offer, sources dry out. One has to reinvent oneself all the time even if it means taking on a new responsibilities. Once again we are faced with the sustainability issue. And one again I am at a loss. And yet anything that does not grow dies
Some ideas were mooted but quite frankly each seemed daunting. One of them was that of ISR (Individual Social responsibility). I have been saddened by the total lack of heart I see and the total lack of compassion. I had placed great hopes in my one rupee a day dream hoping it would change attitudes. I was shocked at myself when as I sat redoing my website I wondered whether it still had a place in it. The ISR idea was welcome but then why did it seem jaded.
As I write these words I am at a loss to find answers and yet they need to be found as this is surely the most important why in our journey.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 12, 2008 | planet why
To many die hard project why supporters planet why is an aberration. I can understand their reaction as at first sight the two may seem totally incompatible. I beg their indulgence and beseech them to keep in mind that both emanate from the same source and have come in much the same way.
If project why saw the light of the day as a result of a chance encounter with Manu when a deafening loud why screamed for an answer that needed to be found, planet why was perhaps conceived more gently as a result of a string of quieter whys in no way less poignant.
Fate has played a curious role in my quest for answers to disturbing questions that have come my way in the bemusing journey called project why. It has set the course of this journey and steered it in directions that I could not have anticipated.
The vision of a man hobbling into my office with the help of a huge stick led us to create our heartfix hotel. At first this new venture of ours did seem to many yet another aberration. Such large sums of money to be spent on saving one child, a child whose future was uncertain, one that would just become one of the many millions barely surviving. Yet we did not give up and today over a dozen such children have had another go at life waiting for their destinies to unfold.
To some our decision of putting Utpal in a boarding school and helping his mom overcome a severe addiction and a debilitating psychological ailment was one more exorbitant deviation, but we again stood by what we believed to be right. To us it was simply a matter of finding the right answer to yet another why, a why that we never went seeking but that came our way as if guided by an invisible hand.
Hence slowly project why took a life of its own, one that often defied all logic, but one that I knew was the work of a far greater force. Time carried its inexorable course. Project why grew from why to why and with it the realisation of its extreme fragility and precarious nature that rested on the failing shoulders of an aging being bringing the inevitable question of its ability to fulfill all the responsibilities that laid upon it. What would become of the Manus that had come its way and of the hopes and dreams so tenderly nurtured.
Yet another answer needed to be found and it was planet why: a place where dreams would be secure. The journey seemed to be reaching its logical end. But fate once again, or the unseen hand, decided otherwise. The sheer magnitude of what was at stake was frightening and yet not accepting the challenge would have gone against everything we had stood for till then and negated the very spirit of project why.
To me project and planet why are intrinsically linked; the only difference being that the later has to have the ability of outlive me, and hence have foundations solid enough to weather any storm that may come its way.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 12, 2008 | fostercare, planet why, two indias
“Creation is a manifestation of the one’s many ideas… every idea one step away from being alone… The meaning is for us to discover. Creation is only a stimulus. All we have to do is respond. And respond well. Everything is a great question waiting for a great answer.” Al Raines
These words dropped quietly into my inbox this morning. A quote from a just published book appropriately called Soul Search Engine. Prophetic words for one who spent the night searching for answers and wishing for sibylline insight.
Project Why has, over the past 8 years, sprung a string of questions needing answers and we have have to their best of our ability attempted to find the appropriate ones. Some have been easy, some more demanding and some even troubling. Yet each one has been portent of a stronger will, a greater manifestation, and each no matter how difficult or seemingly impossible has found a relevant answer.
The past weeks have been a roller coaster ride where dreams and reality have somehow taken a life of their own and left us all breathless and bewildered. We find ourselves with more than we visualised and planned. The foster care programme was not part of our original plans. And yet when it come our way we somehow knew it was to be. No matter how huge or daunting there was something compelling us to embrace it. It was a great question that required us to find a great answer.
From the instant we decided to once again walk the road less or actually never traveled, we have been faced with a deluge of adverse reactions, some biting , some more gentle; some steeped in cynicism, some simply seasoned with caution. This of course led us to try and assess the situation in the hope of discovering the true cause of such a backlash.
What we are trying to do is simply give a few children a chance to a better morrow. It was time to delve further and find out the reality. Somehow the situation was akin to the one I had faced many years ago when the apparently harmless work I was doing had led to a vicious attack from local powers that be. At first I had been perplexed and at a loss to explain matters. I was only attempting to educate slum children. I understood later that the real reason for the onslaught was that I had dared disturbed the existing social fabric and what was held against me was that I had empowered people particularly by giving teaching jobs to people who were meant to do menial ones.
Once again by giving hope to a few children of a Lesser God we were again guilty of the same deadly sin. One did not disturbed existing patterns. To have the audacity to do so was anathema to everyone. In a land where society has been divided in every which way possible, comfort zones have been created and we have all sunk into them, this is part of our atavistic fears. What is troubling is that this attitude is prevalent not only with the illiterate multitude, but even with the likes of us who are supposedly educated. There are things good for us, and things good for them. My child had the right to an IIT whereas their children can only reach the portals of a Polytechnic. What is even more disturbing is that in spite of the apparent economic and social growth of our land, the disparity between them and us has grown with quantum leaps, part of a tacit covenant.
Thus any attempt, no matter how tiny and infinitesimal at truly bridging the gap is bound to be met with strong resistance. Sadly few will have the honesty and courage to accept this fact and will find a host of reasons to explain their reticence: too much money spend for too few, money that could be used for a large number and so on. One will just have to find the right words to counter the attacks and maybe gently lead them to some honest soul searching.
That much for the biting and cynical detractors, but we also need to address the fears and apprehensions of the gentle critics urging us to caution. And I must confess that at the initial stages I was one of them. It is easy to help children the way we have done for years. Giving them a few hours of sound learning and happy moments and seeing them go back to their homes is a safe option. But when one takes the step of wrenching a child from one world and taking them to another, the equation changes. We are not talking of a few hours but of long years, each with its set of challenges. And even though we can sit and plan to the minutest detail, there is no guarantee that things will go our way. We may hope and think and pray that things go well, they may also go wrong and it is essential that we build safety nets at each step to counter them. What me must never forget is that each child that comes our way becomes our responsibility one that we have to fulfill all the way finding the best solution to every problem that may appear.
The easy way could be to once again find a via media, a solution that would assuage the situation and allow us to sink back in our comfort zones but can we actually do so now. It is once again a matter of some serious soul searching!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 11, 2008 | fostercare
I was recently asked to write a blurb that would describe project why. I knew this was no mean task as in many ways pwhy defies all logic and all attempts at containing it within any limits are vain.
I did set about trying to find the few words that would at best describe who and what we are and was soon lost in the maze of all the things we have done in the past 8 years. Are we an education oriented organisation; but then why do we fix broken hearts. Are we a children’s organisation then why do we reach out to women? Are we based in Delhi, then why do we help children like the ones in this picture?
Risteh, Yogita and Rahul live in Rohtak. They are very bright kids and are doing extremely well in their studies. A few months back their father, a mechanic in an elecronic shop, suffered a major accident that left him incapacitated and hence he lost his work and the ability to earn again. He was the sole earner of he family. Their mother who is illiterate can barely bring food on the table. Their school fees were not paid. And they were on the verge of being thrown out. Their plight was brought to our notice quite back accident. Needless to say we decided to help them could we have done otherwise.
So coming back to trying to seek a set of parameters that would define project why should we say that we are an organisation that functions by accident and twists of fate. Not a very pretty picture ans certainly not one that would endear us to anyone. And yet is not true that it all began because of one day Manu came into our lives by accident..
I would rather think of these as a series of serendipities that are orchestrated by the ones that I like calling the God of Lesser Beings, the one to whom distraught mothers send desperate prayers and who works in his own ways.
So are we just an answer to prayers? I guess not as that would not explain planet why or the foster care programme as these emanate from our own desires and dreams. I guess I will one again have to go back to the Little Prince and the Fox and their secret and simply say:
Project why is where you see with your heart!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 10, 2008 | Uncategorized
Last Friday our very special friend Andy had a haircut. But this was no ordinary haircut. Everything about it was noteworthy. It brought together a wonderful human being from Seattle, a hearing impaired girl from a Delhi slum and a little cat who decided to grace the occasion with its presence. The location was no beauty salon or barber shop; it was the terrace of the pwhy building!
It all began in our special section with Andy tugging at his growing locks and someone suggesting he have a haircut. Rinky our resident beauty consultant who is not only a trained beautician and hair artist but has now almost one year of work experience immediately offered to do the needful. In our own inimitable yet eloquent sign language she offered to take him to her salon. However the suggestion was shot down as the said salon is for Ladies Only and Andy’s presence there would have been anathema!
After much deliberation a solution was found. The haircut would be done at pwhy itself and the terrace was the designated salon of the day. So come Friday our tiny terrace was converted into a barber shop and Andy got his haircut! For Rinky it was a very important and serious moment. It was the very first time she was cutting a man’s hair. But Rinky is one of a kind and she set out to accomplish her task with professional prowess and extreme composure and the result was quite stunning. Even the little cat was impressed.
It was yet another perfect moment; one that can only happen at pwhy!
