by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 13, 2009 | Uncategorized
I have often talked about the lure of comfort zones, and the ease with which we sink into them. For the past too long now I have kept away from the day-to-day activities of pwhy. What began as a very conscious and intended decision turned unwittingly into a habit .
I remember early days when I use to check myself from jumping into my three wheeler and setting off to one of the pwhy centres or from picking up the phone to call and find out what was happening. The reason for my voluntary absence was to enable the staff to taken on responsibilities, make decisions and become truly empowered and I must admit that they did a great job making me slowly redundant. True I was informed and briefed about everything and all important decisions were never taken without my consent, but as time passed I realised that everything was going the way I wanted. I had trained my team better than expected.
Was it not what I strived and hoped for. And yet I must confess that there were times when I missed the good old days when one was forever on the field and in the thick of things. My new avatar as the one stuck in front of a computer screen playing with numbers and keeping them in check was not what I had envisaged for myself! So recently when a spate of visitors and new volunteers came to pwhy, I decided to be part of the grand tour!
We went from one place to the other, spending a few minutes at each location. Everywhere we went we were greeted by cheery faces, huge smiles and loud good mornings or afternoons. Classes were filled to the brim and surprisingly tidy and everyone was busy. My mind could not stop itself going back to the day when it all started and to the tiny jhuggi where a handful of kids sat quietly learning their first English words. I could not have imagined then that nine years later over 700 children would be part of the pwhy family. I felt an immense sense of pride laced with immense gratitude. What a journey it has been!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 10, 2009 | Uncategorized
I always enjoy Utpal’s PTMs. For those few hours I get off the spinning wheel, cast my woes aside, forget about funds and balance sheets and set out for the day with a song in my heart and a spring in my ageing and aching feet!
It is always exciting to set out early morning for the long drive and the journey is filled with happy thoughts. Yesterday was one such happy day. We reached school in time and the first task after a few hurried hellos to the guard and staff was to reach his hostel and find him. As always we were greeted by the posse of small kids crowding at the door, each on the look out for his or her parents. Utpal was among them in his read hooded shirt, a tad shy as his warden looked on. After a few minutes spent with his warden it was time to set off for the day. First stop his classroom where we needed to collect his report card. Once again he had done us proud. After a further few minutes spent with his Kamala Ma’am who showed us his craft work and drawings, it was time to fly the coop for a few hours. As always I asked him what he wanted to do and promptly came the answer: pizza khana hai (i want to eat a pizza).
In the car, Amit who had come with us handed him over a box with some cake that he had got from home. Utpal opened the box, a big smile on his face, and then looked around expecting someone to hand him over a spoon. Needless to say we had forgotten to get one. Utpal looked at us with a mischievous smile as he said: should I eat it as my horse does! We laughed our guts out and took the box away telling him we would get him a spoon later.
At the pizza parlour, Utpal regaled us with his usual antics. He sipped his drink his eyes closed and his hands behind his back, danced to the blaring rock music, ate his pizza and ice cream and fed us some too. Time flew, as it always does when one is happy. It was time to leave. Next stop the local grocery to buy his monthly tuck. Biscuits, peanuts and dates where the choice of the day. Then the dreaded moment arrived, the drive back to school. We were going to leave him earlier than usual as I had some work in the afternoon. In the car I gave him the little packet of toys I had bought earlier and that lay hidden in my bag: a small car, a yoyo and some other trinkets. Utpal was all excited as he explored the bag and opened each item. He started telling us what he would do with each of them.
We reached school and he got out of the car his precious packets in his hand. As we set off to walk him back to his hostel, three little boys who were sitting in the school ground whispered: they did not even feed him anything, they just took him out and bough him some things. To which Utpal quipped back: I ate pizza.
We reached the hostel and needless to say the lump in my throat was on there on cue, and the burning in my eyes heralded the dreaded tears, but Utpal the survivor par excellence was already busy with his pals making plans for the remaining part of the day. He had moved on and I realised that it was his way of showing me that all was well and that I could move on too!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 8, 2009 | manu
For the past one year now a motley crew of six have been sharing a home. For the past one year they have learnt to live together, love and respect one another and have shared some unique and wonderful moments. Funnily of all our programmes and projects this is the one that never got a proper name: from foster care, to children’s chance, to happy home each always falling short of what it truly was. Even its genesis was complex. Does it lie in the dream conjured silently almost a decade back when I first lay eyes on Manu, or in the almost clinical vision of social change foisted upon us by a potential saviour who came and went leaving unfulfilled dreams in our custody. Or perhaps in both.
In a few days or weeks at most, four of these children will leave the safety and comfort of their little home and begin a new life in boarding school. And in a few days or weeks at most we will need to find a new option for their their three remaining roomies: Manu, Champa and Anjali. And as they enjoy the last days of their time together, I find my pondering about the year gone by. Was it only a year back that I sat vehemently opposing the idea mooted by our erstwhile potential funder who wanted to include what he called a foster care cum scholarship programme in our planet why vision? As he juggled numbers and worked out projections, I sat stunned wondering how anyone could play with children’s lives in such a way. To me the whole approach reeked of social engineering, something I could and would not accept. But beggars cannot be choosers and at that precise moment the person in question was willing to back our own dreams and vision for the future. One had to find a via media, and one did: a small trial programme with four carefully selected children in order to assess the viability and validity of the proposed project.
Things did not turn out to be what we had hoped for, and the person disappeared leaving us holding the dreams of these four kids in our hands. There was no going back even if we could not even begin to fathom how we would pull this one through. We walked into uncharted territory boldly and bravely if I may say so. The little foster care programme began in earnest. The four children – Babli, Vicky, Nikhil and Aditya – were sent to a small prep school where they learnt was would be needed to take the big plunge in a world normally reserved for the privileged. They surpassed themselves and past the litmus test: their entrance examination to the boarding school. Today they are all set to join it, once we manage to muster the funds needed for them to do so.
While the children played by the rules and never faltered, we began the uphill task of finding people who would help us fund the education of these incredible kids. Easier said than done as we came up against unbelievable opposition. What we were doing was crossing the invisible line and that was anathema to many. But we have not given up hope as to us it would be anathema to send our little slumdogs backs to the slums. Wish we had a millionaire show where we knew all the answers.
The story does end here. As we sat wondering about how we would manage the days ahead, we realised that once the four kids have left us, our present premises would be too big for the remaining three inmates. The obvious choice would be to rent a smaller flat and hence save some pennies too but oh daring yeh hai India and people do not rent homes to disabled human beings and Manu, Champa and Anjali belong to the kind our society rejects and would like to wish away. For the past weeks we have been looking in vain for alternative accommodation. It looks like we may not be able to find any.
As I sit in what looks like a twilight world I ask myself a simple question: where do they go now and wait for a miracle to come my way!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 6, 2009 | Uncategorized
What is your one single special wish was the question asked by a visiting friend to a bunch of teenage girls at our women centre. The question was met with stony silence and a few quizzical glares. Children from slums are rarely asked what their wishes are. But all children have dreams and aspirations. It was time to try and ferret them out.
D, our committed coordinator decided to rephrase the question: if you had 1000 Rs what would you get. And out came the answers: a watch, a tape recorder, clothes, school books, gifts for my siblings, a new school bag, clips for my hair and more. Simple dreams, simple desires that reflected the small things that we take for granted but that hold such meaning for these kids. None costing anything close to the 1000 imaginary rupees, and yet things that were so dear to these young girls. The answers were moving in their simplicity.
We decided to delve deeper and asked what they would like to change around them if they could and pat came the answers: get rid of the dirt and garbage around us, get clean water, plant more trees and so on. One young girl simply said she wanted people to learn to respect others. The reason for this was touching: she has no father and her mother works but is often the butt of nasty and misplaced comments. She just wanted others to respect her mom.
Children have wisdom beyond their age but sadly cannot always express their views or share their opinions. No one is willing to listen to them.
A day earlier the same friend had asked the same question to our special kids, the ones many think have no dreams. This is what they said: Radha who can never walk wants to be a dancer. Ankur a policeman, Anurag simply wants to become a big man and Preeti a teacher. Dreams that may seem impossible but are nevertheless important to these children of a lesser God. No dream is ever too small, no dream is ever too big…
by Anuradha Bakshi | Feb 4, 2009 | Uncategorized
How long will it take for little Komal’s scars to heal. I am not talking about the bruises and lesions but of the scars now seared on a little six year old’ s soul. Komal was mercilessly and brutally beaten by sadistic and sick cops in a small town of Uttar Pradesh. Her crime: 200 rs stolen from a woman who thought her to be the culprit. Komal was beaten in public by a policeman while many watched. Her heart rendering cries and pleas fell on deaf years. Actually everyone seemed to be enjoying the show not realising that the camera was rolling.
Her crime was that she belonged to the poorest of the poor, the lowest of the low, those who often become the butt of many a vile game. And this is no isolated incident. The poor and voiceless are subjected to such brutality day in and day out.
The images played out yesterday are disturbing in more ways than one. The despair of the tiny girl in her long skirt and bare feet, screaming and pleading is disturbing indeed but what was more frightening was the look of sadistic pleasure on the faces of the perpetrators, what was more disturbing was the smiles and sneers and the total absence of sensitivity of those looking on.
Komal’s horrific story is the talk of the day as is always the case. Debates are aired on every channel. In one such debate a retired police officer mentioned the fact that policemen were harassed, stressed and overworked and thus vented their frustration. I would like to ask the person whether the same cop would vent his so called frustration on his own 6 year old. There was talk of the need of reforms and more stringent laws. But a juvenile justice act exists which did protect this child if it had been applied.
Had the cameras not been there was the tag line used by one of the TV channels and one really wonders what would have happened to little Komal had the cameras not been there. How long would it have taken for the sadistic cop to vent his so called frustration or how long would the onlookers have enjoyed the show. What is disturbing is that each and every time an aberration like this occurs in full public view, no one reaches out to help the victim. Wonder why?
But the cameras were rolling and Komal’s story was for all to see. Since then a huge damage control drama is in operation: the cops have surrendered, one is in jail the other on bail. Komal’s family was visited by senior police officers who proffered apologies, police stations will be informed about the right of children and so on. But will all this heal the scars of the soul of little Komal. And above all will cameras be rolling the next time another Komal is brutalised.
There are more questions that need to be asked. When will we as a civil society cease to be mute spectators? When will we stop pointing fingers at the weak, the voiceless and the poor each time a petty crime is committed? Will the woman who falsely accused little Komal be made accountable? And will the perpetrator of this heinous abuse be truly punished?
