bye bye sweet baby

bye bye sweet baby

Baby Falak is no more. She died late last night of a cardiac arrest. Her story is heart wrenching. She fought for two long months in the hope that we could and would hear the silent cries of the countless abused children of India. She fought relentlessly to give a voice to those who are never heard. But her valiant battle went unheard. Just a few days back another little girl, just 5 tiny years old, was brutally abused and then murdered.

I am relieved that the God of Lesser beings took mercy on this little Angel and took her away. This place was not for her. This place is not for vulnerable little girls. This place is not worthy of little girls. It is a land where Goddesses are worshiped but little girls unwanted from the day they are born. It is a land that has become inured to the plight of girls who continue to be used and abused, their silent and helping cries falling on deaf ears. It is a land where victims are made treated as culprits in subtle and insidious ways.

Today’s front page headline describes how the young mother raped by seven spends her days at the police station without being questioned. “I have to go there daily, sit around. People stare at me, but that’s all right. They give me tea. In the evening, I have to sign a register and then I can go. Why don’t they ask me anything?” she quietly states. Why is she treated with such insensitivity? Why are all women who have been hurt treated in such uncaring and cruel ways. How long will it take for things to change. I have no answers and cannot believe in miracles.

Farewell baby Falak. You deserve a better place. Please forgive us for all the pain and hurt our callous world sent your way,

Rest in peace.

i have the right to not be raped

i have the right to not be raped

A young mother got gang raped by seven men on her way back from work late at night. She was traveling back in a cab with her younger brother when her cab was stopped and she was pulled out, forced into another car, taken to a flat, raped repeatedly and then ‘dropped’ at a metro station. This is not a movie script it is a sad reality that we have almost become inured to, as we have to a host of aberrations that plague our society.

I cannot begin to imagine the pain and hurt of that poor woman. The ‘investigation’ is in process and it seems that some have even be arrested. I only hope they are not let out and pay for their crime but this seems like wishful thinking. Anyway, that is not the point of this blog. What made me see red was a comment made by a senior cop. The woman had stated that she worked in a pub. However the cop in question was quick to retort that she was not employed by the pub but worked as a “help” for single men enter the “couples only” pub. My question is: did that make her ‘rape material’ in the eyes of the law. God only knows what circumstances made this young mother step out from her home and work late hours. Whatever it is did not give her the right to be raped!

It is now common practice to blame the victim for any crime against women. It is always what she wears, where she goes, the hours she keeps that are brandished as causes for her being molested, abused, assaulted, groped, raped and even murdered. Her clothes are too revealing, her hair is too short, she is drinking, she has too much make up, she is out too late and so on. What is revolting is that it is always the supposed guardians of law that come up with these aberrations. No wonder they are not really interested in bringing the culprits to book.

I did not take long for my thoughts to be super vindicated  as today’s headlines screamed : Don’t work after 8pm, Gurgaon tells women! So here it is, the solution our administrators and law keepers have come up with. Malls, shop keepers, pub owners have been told not to employ women after 8pm and have absolved themselves of all responsibility just like Pontius Pilate. In cases of rape, molestation et al women are the problem. This is unacceptable and offensive. How long are men going to treat us as objects, slaves, commodities to be treated with utter contempt and disrespect. We need to be told what to do, what to wear, where to go, the list is endless.

The constitution gives us equal rights and we are in our entitled to exercise them all. The state has to provide us the enabling and safe environment to enjoy all the freedoms enshrined in our constitution in the same manner men do. As I have always said I am not a rabid women libber but at this moment I am outraged and rightly so!

No news is good news – pwhy revisited

No news is good news – pwhy revisited

It has been a long time since I have written about project why! I guess it is a case of the proverbial ‘no news is good news’. However I think it is time I shared the comings and goings of pwhy with everyone who has made this incredible journey a reality. So where does one begin is the question. I will just follow my heart  to give you a glimpse of the comings and goings of pwhy.

It is exam time and almost all our primary and secondary children in all our centres are busy writing the dreaded end of year examinations. The last month was dedicated to revisions and extra study. All centres had mock tests and put in extra hours to brush up what was still a tad hazy. We now have our fingers crossed and hope all our children will do well. Exams are normally scheduled post lunch and children even come on exam morning to get tips from their teachers and a last minute dose of encouragement and morale boosting. I must admit that we too are as nervous as them. As I said it is exam time for one and all!

The tiny ones too are busy studying. Fifteen of them will now move to a regular school so they are brushing up their letters and numbers and learning their colours and shapes to prepare for their entry in class I. But it is not all work and no play. Lots of time is still spent on singing and dancing and learning new gamed. Watching these kids is always pure joy.

The special section is buzzing with activity. Weaving had been introduced in the class and the older students are busy mastering this art. If all goes well we may even consider marketing their product in the future. We have also begun baking classes an all time favourite. The children have learnt how to make scrumptious cookies and cakes.  Maybe some we will be able to run a small bakery manned by these very special children We have also begun computer classes for the special children. It is an activity they all love! Last month the special class went for an outing to Lodhi Gardens. For many it was the very first time they stepped out of their limited world. They lolled in the sun, played in the grass and for a few moments forgot their dreary existence.

Our computer centres are running well. We have introduced 3D animation courses that are very popular. Some students have finished their courses and got their certificates and new students have been enrolled. Thanks to some generous friends we have purchases 2 new computers and will thus be able to take more students.

Our vocational classes for women are in full swing. The stitching and tailoring class is doing well. Some ladies completed their course and one of them found employment in an export house. Beauty classes are also doing well and helping extremely deprived women to find work and become financially independent. One of our old students has even opened her very own beauty parlour. Way to go!

Last but not the least our boarding school kids are also busy with their final examinations. They will be coming home for their annual break in two weeks and then will go back to their new class. Their last report cards were excellent as always and we hope their final result is the same.

Today over 700 children and 80 women benefit from our presence. All this could not have been possible without the help and support of our friends and well wishers. A big thank you to all!

bye bye brother

The name on the cell screen made me jump. It had to be bad news. And it was. Another death in the family. This time a cousin brother, the youngest of us all. Life had blown us in different directions following some family issues between elders. These sadly affect the younger ones who have not much say and get swayed in spite of themselves. The last time we met was at a family wedding. We tried to catch up but too much water had flown under the proverbial bridge.

Two deaths in less than six months. Two deaths of persons younger than me is a lot to deal with. C’est la vie as it is said. I had not thought of this cousin for a long, long time. Yet today memories have come rushing, and surprisingly all of them are happy and warm. Estranged or not we had once been close, or let me say as close as two people born almost 15 years apart can be. Hundreds of sepia pictures tucked away in an old chest are proof of that. But before letting my mind wander in the past, I decided to browse the Internet to find out more about him. The little boy I knew had come a long way. I was happy to see that he had made his mark in the journey he chose for himself and was held in high esteem. Sadly I had not known the grown up man.

Pictures of him showed a handsome man in the prime of life. I sadly had no memories of this person. To me he remains the curly head bonny boy that one liked cuddling and spoiling. He had lived with us for some time when I was a college going girl and he barely ready for school. His baby talk was endearing and I loved spending time with him as he romped around the house.Then we must have a few times fleetingly as memories of these are hazy and blurred. To me he will always remain the little bonny boy who was the youngest of us all.

To think he is no more is almost surreal. Children are not meant to die and to me he is and will remain a child. Maybe I will unlock the old chest that is the repository of my sepia memories and look for pictures of the happy times we shared.

As I write these words I am filled with an incomprehensible sadness. I wonder if we should have tried to mend broken bridges in spite of all our elders and built our own. Maybe we should have. But what is the point of crying over spilled milk. The one lesson one can learn is to follow one’s heart no matter what others say!

That hunger can make you angry

That hunger can make you angry

A friend sent me a link to an article. It is entitled: barefoot – the other side of life! Do read it. It brings to light many of the issues I have ranted about time and again. Two friends both Indians, both from swanky US universities decided to come home and do something meaningful. Nothing new you would say as many do that. But wait a little and read on. To understand the plight of an average Indian – sorry the cliche – they decided to live like an average Indian. After some computing they decided to live @ 100 Rs a day! Their journey is documented here. Hardly a day went by during the past month, in which we didn’t think of food sums up their experience. But that is not where they stopped. They decided to place the bar higher and live on 32 Rs a day which is the official poverty line.The experience was harrowing but an eye opener for these two young men.

Their experience with poverty raised many disturbing  questions. I would like to share their words that echo much of what I have always felt: “It disturbs us to spend money on most of the things that we now consider excesses. Do we really need that hair product or that branded cologne? Is dining out at expensive restaurants necessary for a happy weekend? At a larger level, do we deserve all the riches we have around us? Is it just plain luck that we were born into circumstances that allowed us to build a life of comfort? What makes the other half any less deserving of many of these material possessions, (which many of us consider essential) or, more importantly, tools for self-development (education) or self-preservation (healthcare)? We don’t know the answers to these questions. But we do know the feeling of guilt that is with us now. Guilt that is compounded by the love and generosity we got from people who live on the other side, despite their tough lives. We may have treated them as strangers all our lives, but they surely didn’t treat us as that way…”

 What they learnt was that hunger can make you angry. That a food law which guarantees adequate nutrition to all is essential. That poverty does not allow you to realise even modest dreams. And above all  that empathy is essential for democracy.

I am speechless for more reasons than one. First I must salute these young men as they have walked the talk in every way possible. Theirs is not the political drama of spending a night or sharing a meal in a poor home or a reality show that makes a mockery of poverty and makes one see red. It is not page 3 chatter post the success of slumdog millionaire. I cannot help myself recalling that Q&A, as the book was entitled by its author did not sell as well as the reprint bearing the Hollywood title! No these young men were not playing to the gallery. They lived as they had set out to eating some rice and a banana a day and walking miles to reach their destination. I really wish our politicians, law makers, potential donors did the same even for a few days. I guess it would change them forever and in the bargain make the world a better place.

I too have felt guilt and somehow it is that guilt that made me move from the comfort of my home to yet unknown pastures and discover things I never would have. And just like these young men I too felt the warmth and generosity of what we dismissively refer to as the poor.  No matter where you went, which home you entered, who you met you never felt an outsider. Something very alien for us who live in a world where we often do not even know your neighbour.

Crossing the divide has been the best thing that happened to me. I feel humbled and blessed.