by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 14, 2007 | Uncategorized
The news was like a bolt out of the blue: Shalini was leaving the centre. In her own way had tried to convey this to us a few days back; we just thought she was going off for a few days to the village or a wedding like so many times earlier. But this was not quite that. Her family had sold their house and bought another one in a far off area and so Shalini would not be able to come to pwhy!
For all of us at pwhy, and particularly for her teachers and friends in the special section it was a great shock. Shalu is one of our oldest students and somehow an integral part of this very cherished class. Her warm nature, her even warmer smile, her incessant blabber, her passion for dancing, her eagerness to help , her genial disposition, her fond hugs had become part and parcel if our lives and are going to be painfully missed. True that she had temper fits and bad moments but even those had become dear to us as they were part of who Shalini was.
As we all set down to come to terms with her departure it almost felt as if a chapter was closing for us. Something yet intangible had come upon us and we all knew that things would not quite be the same.
Shalini’s hurried departure also brought forth another reality that sadly pervades the lives of children with disabilities: they are never part of important decisions that families take and their well being is never a mater of concern. Shalini is in her thirties but to her family she is unimportant. The area the family is shifting to has no option for her and she will now be relegated to the confines of her new home. She will lead a lonely life and become more difficult to handle. And sadly there is nothing we can do.
It is a times like these that I realise how important it is for us to set up planet why as that would be a happy option for persons like Shalu. I do hope that it will become a reality soon!
PS: just heard that Shalu could no quite fathom the meaning of the farewell party as she was convinced she would be back the next day.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 13, 2007 | two indias
The gunning down of a 14 year old by his classmates in an upscale school in the suburbs of Delhi has shocked everyone. What seemed to be something that happened elsewhere, in other lands is now on our doorstep.
The past two days have seen a plethora of reactions from people of all walks of life trying to explain why this incident happened. From lax gun laws, to lax parenting; from violence on TV shows to violence in children, the causes are many and need to addressed. But what was at the same time sad and frightening was the sometimes furtive but often unconcealed references to the social background of the children. The greatest tragedy of the Gurgaon shooting is undoubtedly the fact that the children in question belonged to the other side of the fence, to the other India or rather as a commentator said to the third India that no one has seen coming: an India that is now claiming its right to everything that till late had never been theirs.
That rural parents should want the best for their children is to be lauded; that upscale schools are recognising this reality and becoming inclusive should also be hailed. It is definitely a step in the right direction. One should not make the fatal mistake of looking at this terrible tragedy as a social one, as one that occurred because the children in question belonged to a certain class of society. Children from so called good homes have also slipped and made horrific mistakes.
My blood ran cold when a parent interviewed by a TV channel stated that rural kids could not adapt to convent schools. This is a mistake we should not and cannot make as unlike what we knew as the other India is very different from the new India that is emerging and assuming power.
The reality is that in today’s day and age money has taken the place once held by values. This a phenomena that transcends social barriers and is becoming a hydra-headed monster that will be difficult to contain.
The Gurgaon shooting is a wake up call in more ways than one. We must look at it in larger perspective and take remedial measures. What is needed is to have the courage to assume responsibility rather than pass the buck or simply forget it thinking that it cannot happen to us. And above all one has to ensure that this incident does not close doors for children seeking a better morrow.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 10, 2007 | Uncategorized
Yesterday a leading TV channel aired a programme on slum tourism. What held my attention was the comment made by an activist who went to say ‘ I very strongly feel that this is the worst kind of human rights’ violation or I would go on to the extent of saying that its an abuse of its own kind.’
In the past years slum tourism or reality tourism has been formalised by certain NGOs as a means of raising awareness and much needed funds. It may look voyeuristic to some and appalling to others and many would condemn it and maybe I would have too, ten years back before pwhy came into existence.
It is easy to become guardians of morality and jump to conclusions without giving it much thought. I guess what is abhorring in this instance is the fact that foreigners are the ‘tourists’. We Indians would not sign up for such a tour. Come to think of it we it we are so inured that we do not even see what stares at us, bet it in newspapers, TV shows or simply on the street or at a red light.
I remember how offended I felt many years ago at TV programmes in Europe that showed India either as a poverty ridden land or as one of snake charmers or turban headed Maharajahs. I wondered why other achievements were not highlighted. That was then, before pwhy, before my own brush with reality and my own struggles at getting my country fellowmen to open their hearts and part with a coin to reach out and help others.
To the activist that cries out human right violation and abuse I would like to ask why there are still children who roam the streets in India, who are used and abused by the like of us and above all why we chose to remain silent or simply turn away.
It is sad but true that getting support within our own country is quasi impossible and that many of us who try and alleviate the situation have to extend our begging bowl beyond frontiers and share our disturbing reality. Then we are all guilty of the same though we do it in a covert way. Is that what makes it acceptable, as if that were not the case then we are all guilty of abuse and human rights violation. The flip side is that if we did not do it, then we would wind up our activities.
In the last year or so many children and others have received help because their stories were highlighted by the media. Is that a human right violation too? I wonder.
It is easy to sit in judgement but I would implore people who do so to think before they condemn or to give viable alternatives. Tourism with a heart or voluntourism is here to stay and speaks volumes for the new ways in which we should look at things in a world where globalisation is the preferred mantra. That an NGO should propose a slum tour to people visit India should not be anathema. It should at best makes us think and resolve to do something.
But sadly this seems wishful thinking. On human rights day a picture of children ploughing fields in land belonging to a minister’s family will once again be swept away to suit political ends and public memory too will fade. This happens far to often for comfort.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 9, 2007 | Uncategorized
Saturday December 8th was a very special day for a bunch of disabled kids, but more so for a very special young woman whose mother I have the privilege to be. A TV crew was coming to share their lunch.
The morning was spent in a frenetic bustle of cleaning, sprucing up, shopping and cooking. Everyone was excited and time seemed to stand still. Everything was set: the newspaper mats woven by the kids, the unopened lunch boxes, the freshly made aloo pharathas that were in the Saturday cooking class menu, and the project lunch of rice and dal that was always there for those who brought nothing.
Lunch has always been an important issue at pwhy’s special section as we have always held that parents of disabled children need to be made aware of their responsibility and treat them as they would treat a ‘normal’ child. However the staff lunch is always there to ensure that no kid goes hungry.)
Finally a phone call announced the imminent arrival of the TV crew. What followed was pure magic, or rather the miracle we had all been waiting for since eight long years. For the first time ever someone from the world out there came and shared a moment with these beautiful kids. It is true that they have been filmed many times for diverse shows and programmes but in reality it has always been from the outside or the edge. This was the first time that someone, stopped by all the lunch boxes and served plates and dug into them no matter how cold and congealed and unappetising the food looked. The moment was so heartwarming that Geetu our 2o year old fed the young dashing anchor with her own hands.
The food turned to manna from the Gods or a three star chef’s creation as years of yearning to be accepted and valorised laced it with a unique flavour no one could miss. Soon it was time to wave good bye and I too left the premises for another appointment.
It was only later in the evening when I got home that the true meaning of that day would enfold for me. A deeply moved Shamika asked me for the number of the TV producer as she said she needed to thank him. This was a first as Shamika is normally a reserved person. After many attempts she got the person and started thanking him but as she talked her emotions choked her, and she burst into sobs. It was then that I realised the real meaning of that lunch that almost did not happen.
It was like a dream come true for this young woman who at the age of 15 decided to work with special children and help them get their rightful place in society. A place where they too could be accepted and cherished. Lost in my own struggles I had not discerned how each rejection had touched my own child and how hurt she had been at each step. It also made me understand her initial reluctance at accepting this show. But above I became aware of how momentous the moment had been for her. I could not hold my own tears as I hugged her tenderly.
Today the kids are all going to troupe in to one of the teachers home to see this programme on TV. It is a moment I would not miss for anything!
by Anuradha Bakshi | Dec 8, 2007 | Uncategorized
Yesterday a leading TV channel called asking whether they could film lunchtime at pwhy! This was for a segment in a daily lunchtime programme that highlights the lunch hour in different parts of the city. I guess someone decided that it would be good copy to go and peep at the other side of the fence: the slum kids.
Now at pwhy the only kids who stay the full day are the special ones and they are the ones who have lunch. So I told the young ebullient reporter that we would love to have them come by and share a meal with our special bacchas! Though we were on talking on the phone, I could sense the moment of hesitation and ensuing awkwardness. I could imagine the million unformulated questions that were crowding his mind as sadly one knows what images the word special or disabled or even handicapped – however politically incorrect – conjure in people’s mind. But I was not the one to give up.
After a mumbled I will get back to you the phone went dead. Shamika who is a very possessive mother figure to her brood of 20, was up in arms but I held on and redialled the number as I remembered that Saturday was cooking day at the special section and delectable aloo paranthas were on the menu. I also told the reporter that these children were just like other kids and though they may not have the same way of communicating as us, they were totally able to express their feelings. Less than a month back they had hosted a group of special children from France and shared a great meal with them!
There was another I need to check with my producer and will get back to you but blissfully some time later a confirmation call came and our bacchas will hopefully be part of that programme.
