by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 30, 2009 | manu
Manu has been back home for over three weeks. His body is devastated by his terrible ailment but his spirit is intact and soaring. Yesterday we got his latest blood results. His liver and kidneys have not been able to withstand the medication and hence they need to be stopped. In lieu the men in white have prescribed daily shots. Shots in a body that is just a bag of bones is in no way easy. And yet that is the only way out.
A friend who is a healer and who realises my pain has time and again tried to tell me that Manu’s spirit is immortal and cannot be destroyed. I know she is right . I see his spirit every time I go and sit with him. Though he may not be able to walk or move on his own, Manu always reaches out to me and takes my pulse and then looks me deep in my eyes and says: you do not have fever! If I am standing, Manu, the impeccable host, insists I sit down and then looks for Aunty to order my proverbial cup of green tea! He will sit with me at the dining table for as long as I am there, reassuring me that he is well and that I should not worry. Yesterday he even asked me to get him grapes as no one else was getting them for him.
A friend has dropped by a couple of days and we had sat with Manu for some time. What a saintly soul, pure as snow was what she said as we left him. I realised how true her words were. Manu is just that: a pure soul where no ill can dwell. In spite of everything he has suffered over the years, Manu has never shown any resentment or rancor. In many ways he is a blessed soul.
His pain is unbearable. I have spent many nights praying for his well being. I would like to see his body heal and his suffering stop. I cannot begin to understand why the God of Lesser Beings has ordained so much pain for him. When we finally found him a real home with a bed, I really thought we had come full circle. And yet that was not to be. I can only wonder at what lies ahead and hope for the best
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 9, 2009 | manu
Manu is back home. Not quite healed but well on his way to full recovery though the road is still long. He came back home clutching a bunch of red roses given to him by his best friend and pal Prabin who had been by his side almost 24/7!
His road to recovery has been one of a kind. As he lay in his hospital ward almost moribund, many the world over prayed for him. Healers from the four corners of the world put him in a circle of love and held him there till the time we got news that he was out of danger.
Yesterday a mail dropped by informing me that a new blog had been created for Manu simply entitled: Manu destined to remind us who we are. I truly believe that a soul like Manu comes to this word with a real purpose. I know that if not for Manu there would have been no pwhy as we all know it. It is his plight that moved me to act. However for the past nine years I never truly delved on the purpose of a life like Manu’s.
It is only today that I understand the miracle of his life. I remember my father telling me that if we were to look for God we would find him by looking deep in the eyes of the poorest of the poor but that one needed courage to do so. I remember the beggar woman of yore years who had thanked me for simply looking into her eyes. I remember being told that all human life was precious and needed to be celebrated. I also recall my total bewilderment and incomprehension at such moments as to any so called logical or Cartesian mind what meaning can a wretched life have? Perhaps the answer are in the words: remind us of who we are. Perhaps such lives get us to look deep into ourselves and discover things that we did not know and compel us to walk the road less traveled.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 3, 2009 | manu
Manu is coming home. He will be released from hospital tomorrow which happens to be my birthday. Could I have asked for a better gift!
He is still very ill and needs to be tended to and looked after but having him back at the foster care will mean seeing his lovely smile again and hear his voice.
For the past few days many the world over have prayed for this child of God and prayers do work even if some of us would want to think otherwise. In the hospital ward many thought of him as a blessed soul and he endeared himself to each and everyone around him, even the most taciturn nurse.
Manu is a very special soul. If not for him pwhy would not have seen the light of day. He taught me things about myself that I did not know and above all gave me the courage and determination to face each obstacle that came my way and overcome it. But the biggest lesson he taught me was that one should never judge anyone by his or her appearance and always believe that each one of us is a child of God who has come on this earth with a purpose.
May God bless Manu.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Apr 1, 2009 | manu
I will be celebrating my birthday soon. Birthdays have become for me the time of the year when I take stock as honestly as I can of the years gone by and try and make some resolutions for times to come. It is also when, in the dead of night, I blow on virtual candles and make my birthday wishes.
What a year it has been. At this very moment last year I was gnawing at my nails and wondering how we would come up with the missing numbers to ensure we did not lose our dream. And we did. Just as we managed each time we were in dire straits as small miracles did come our way. Then there were the four little kids and their dreams and those too got saved. There were anxious moments but each one had a happy ending. One again the year was one when one was simply busy being grateful.
Pwhy grew in strength and more friends from the world over joined our beautiful network making one believe that all was well in spite of times of recession and crashes. On the personal front I was given the most beautiful gift I could have ever asked for: a lovely grandson who brought joy and hope into our lives and made me greedy for more.
I wonder what I will wish for when I blow those candles. I guess it would be to see:
- my grandson grow into a young man
- Manu healed and well
- Meher freed of her scars
- planet why become a reality
- project why safe and secure and able to live on
- my little foster care kids and Utpal pass out of school
Is that asking too much?Perhaps it is but today I feel audacious enough to ask for these wishes and hope that someone is listening.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 30, 2009 | manu
Ghar jana hai – I want to go home – are three words that I heat twice yesterday. Simple words that could have been said innocuously by anyone. But in this case these three anodyne, words took on a whole new meaning as they were mouthed by what one may call homeless souls.
The first one to whisper these words was a little seven year old a.k.a Utpal. He is home for his end of school year break. Home in this case is our women centre. Since its inception in October 2007 it has been the place where little Utpal has come each holiday. Sometimes his mom is there, and sometimes not as has been the case the last three times he came. She is once again in rehab. But the tiny rooms of the women centre are replete with things that make a place home be it the heap of toys, many broken, the cupboards filled with clothes – his and his mommy’s – the little shrine where mom prays not to forget the TV and all the favourite programmes. It is also where each one tries to make sure that mom is not missed each time the little boy lands for a few days. Kind Roshni aunty who makes all the special treats, or the 3 bhaiyyas – Rajesh, Ashish and Parth who spend the night with him in turns. And of course home is where all the little pals wait for the prodigal pal!
Yesterday I took Utpal for the mandatory shopping spree. We had to buy new shoes, new clothes and a host of things that the school wanted. Once the shopping done, I decided to bring him to my home so that he could meet my little grandson and spend some time with us. Now a two month baby is not really what interests a 7 year old. After the cookies and the cold drink and then lunch, everyone settled down for an afternoon nap. The house was silent and the little boy did not quite know what to do. A while later he came to me and whispered in my year: I want to go home.
I must confess that at first I felt a little peeved. Was this not home too? And was there not a time when this was the place this very little boy pined for? But then I realised that a lot of water had flowed and that rather than feel vexed I should be elated as one of the things I most wanted for this little boy was to give him a real home, and never mind if mommy was not there all the time, the women centre was his real home. A few phone calls later, Utpal was set to leave. I hugged him tight and he whispered into my years: come to my home tomorrow. The house felt strangely empty for a while…
Later in the day Shamika and Rani came back from the hospital where Manu is fighting for his life. Upon my enquiring how he was they said that he looked better and kept repeating to them: ghar jana hai.-I want to go home. The same words again but murmured this time but one whose home for years had been the street. The one for whom I had conjured a dream and fulfilled it. For Manu home was not where he spent almost 4 decades, but the little flat he had lived in for barely a year, the one he shared with his friends and roomies. The ones he missed as he lay in a lonely hospital ward. I decided to do everything possible to ensure that he returns home as soon as possible.
Two lost souls were pinning for what they called home. Homes we had crafted with love and care in the hope that they would assuage the years of pain and hurt and make up for all the lost years. Today three tiny words proved that we had succeeded. The remnant of sadness at not having a little boy spend more time with me lifted and was replaced by a feeling of joy and contentment. I too was home.
by Anuradha Bakshi | Mar 28, 2009 | manu
Ward no 10, bed no 27 is where Manu sleeps today. It is not what I had wished for him when I first set eyes on him in May 2000 and threw myself a seemingly impossible challenge: to give to this street soul a home with a warm bed and a family. I guess it is at that precise moment that planet why was seeded and perhaps immediately forgotten as the task at hand seemed daunting. Manu was a street beggar, caked in dirt, with a mane of tangled hair, and a wild temperament that made him almost unapproachable.
We had to take things one day at a time. Tame him at first, just as the little prince had tamed the fox. Learn his ways and decipher his moods. We did just that and to do it had to settle roots in the very street he roamed. Thus began pwhy.
The first days were difficult as he used to hobble away each time we tried to get close, or let out a heart rendering yell that stopped us in our tracks. But then we realised that he too was beginning to learn our ways and would find him waiting for us or hobbling towards us as he saw our car approaching. As I look back on those days I am filled with an incredible and yet indescribable feeling of warmth and love. My mind is flooded with feel good memories that I had forgotten. There are so many of them that come rushing, each filled with hope and tenderness. I remember the first meal that I shared with Manu. We had got him some warm rotis and dal and sat him on a stool in front of our little classroom, his meal placed on another stool. He picked up his plate and balanced it on his knees and then patted the now empty stool and gestured me to sit on it. He then broke a piece of roti and dipped it in the dal and held it out for me. I took it and ate it oblivious of the glares of those around me who saw the dirt of Manu’s hands. I only saw love. That was perhaps the very instant when I was taught the true meaning of the fox’s secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. Yes I realise today, as Manu is fighting for his life, that he was the one who taught me to look with my heart.
There are many special moments in the nine years that we have known Manu. Many huge moments like the first time Manu ate with a spoon or the first time he picked up a pencil and drew a picture (it still sits on my wall). I remember his fist ride in a car when we went to the jam session for special children and the first dance I had with Manu. I was amazed at how well he danced. I remember his first pedicure with Shalini rubbing his feet with a pumice stone and he making funny faces and sounds. I recall with pride and satisfaction the first meal Manu had in his own home after spending a night in his warm bed. And that is not all, this child of the streets who had spent the best part of his life as a beggar, turned into a perfect host as if he was to the manor born!
There are so many memories as Manu is intrinsically linked to pwhy, our very first student and the one who made it all possible.
Many may never believe that one such as Manu holds the destiny and dreams of many in custody. And yet if it was not for Manu pwhy would not have seen the light of day. It is because he came into my life and taught me to look with my heart that the rest happened: be it the child salvaged from the flames who now runs in the sun, or the fifteen little mended hearts, or the hundreds of children who pass their examinations every year.
Everyone lands on this planet with a purpose and a role to play. Even one who may seem hopeless and woebegone. Every child of God has a destiny to fulfill. And Manu is a true child of God.
Ward no 10, bed no 27 is where he sleeps tonight. I had dreamt that he would be the first inmate of planet why that I wanted to be his home. Will the God of Lesser Beings grant me my dream just as he has granted the dreams of all those who have been touched by Manu’s smile.
For those of you who do not know Manu, here are some glimpses of him
Note: Manu was transfused with a unit of blood yesterday night. he is holding on. please pary for him
