arun’s operation has been shifted from the glamour of Apollo Hospital to the down to earth corridors of AIIMS.

many will wonder why?

Should I just say that only a few are to the manor born, and project why is not one of them. So then why did one even consider it…

Till recently we citizens why lived a simple life, solving the numerous problems that come our way, as best we could, within the realm of what we knew was available to us. The kind doctor next door, the government hospital where we could find an acquaintance, often a simple worker…and somehow the god of small things and lesser children was always there to help. We managed two open heart surgeries, saved a child from third degree burns, and took care of numerous ailments. Where there was a cost to be borne, we appealed to all our friends and help always came… the virtual begging bowl never failed..

Then one day came an award, the lights and glare of the media, the rush of adrenaline that happens in spite of one’s self. And to be honest one lost one’s way and for sometime got caught in a reality that was not ours.

The god of lesser children did try and steer us away, as right from day one was not comfortable. Sadly it took a while to understand that not every one is to the manor born, and that project why has to remain within the reality it can sustain and live by honestly.

So we made the course correction needed and are back on a road we know. Arun will be operated by what is the best available to all children born in India.

citizens why are not to the manor born!

and our task is to recognize this thought and help it toward completion.”

Everyday I get reminded of this beautiful quote as I look at the little children who come to project why. It is amazing how each little pair of eyes that look at you as they mutter their often inaudible and even incomprehensible : morning maa’m, tells a story.

Look at little Karuna, my angry young lady! She seems to be perpetually cross with god knows who, maybe life itself… She goes about her daily routine, but rarely smiles..

Some eyes are filled with hurt, others with longing… still others with resignation..

I wonder if they are aware that we adults will never discover the divine thought that brought their creation, and that by the time they are able to explain it, it will be too late.. there will be no one willing to listen…

Sometimes small children do share things that sound like dreams and we just brush them aside.. but next time a child does say something, even bordering absurdity, just stop and listen…

the past posts on this blog may have sounded to some full of anger and even hurt..
as i reread them on this quiet and hot sunday morning, i realised that it may have given to those who do not know project why, am impression far from reality..

so here is a glimpse of what our little planet really is… and above all the spirit that pervades it..

planet why is a beautiful place, where in spite of all the problems and realities that surround it, children find time to be children… a world where adults do not shout at them but laugh with them, where there is love in abundance…

where hurts are healed, problems shared, and solutions found…

it is true that it lacks space and many of the things that a child centred environment should have but does it really matter… children come no matter what…

planet why is a place where the little prince finds a flower to water, and so what if there is no fancy watering can, an old discarded plastic bottle does the job just as well… ans so what if the flower is not a ‘pedigreed’ rose, it is a one that what was planted with care by children often called those of a lesser God!

planet why is a place where difference is celebrated and respected, where each inhabitant, no matter how small or insignifiant in the outside world, is king, at least for the fews hours spent on this planet…

this week is important as a child’s broken heart will be repaired..

so are we simply the planet that repairs broken hearts!

ashya and fatima are twins
they are 2 years old
all their milestones are delayed
they cannot walk and cry in pain if made to stand
they cannot talk.. nor do any of the things a 24 month child does..

they have been with us for almost a year and have not grown…
ashya and fatima have two elder sisters. the father drives an auto ricshaw and the mother takes on export ‘piece’ work..

the twins are neglected and have severe behaviour problems…

we recently took them to the doctor and were horrified to learn that they had a haemoglobin count of 4.6 and 4.3…

i know we are primarily an education support programme, but then does one sit and do nothing when faced with the tragic reality of these two innocent babies…

as i write these words i shudder at the hopelesness of the situation.. what is the value of two little girls whose chances to a normal life are very remote.. who were born into a society were girls have no place.. but then can one wish them away..

the doctors will give a verdict and a road map which may or may not make up for the lost time.. but then who will implement it.. and above all sustain it..

soon these little girls will become a burden no one will want to carry…

where does one begin…

but then can one just look away…

By this time next week Arun’s heart will be repaired ..

It should have been done years ago..

Today is the first time I could spend some quality time with this quiet, unassuming child… His tired smile was filled with hope and his frail body spoke volumes ..

Arun speaks in a soft, barely audible, voice.. he seems to have perfected the art of being unobtsrusive, almost invisible..

I wondered what went on in his mind .. Arun has held on to life.. imagine this child has gone through so much medical investigation.. so much discomfort and even pain.. and yet he continued to hold on..

I asked him what he likes eating and he simply said lauki and khichri… I guess this has been his diet for many years, a diet normally given to sick people..

Next week doctors are going to repair a congenital defect, something that would have been done years ago if Arun had been born in your or my home..

I know we will not be able to give him back his childhood, but let us hope Arun will soon lead the life any 14 year old should….

why is it that if one person thinks you have done a great job then everyone wants to say the same..

then you wonder whether there is any value at all to the ‘awards’ and ‘merit certificates‘ that get thrown at you.

strange that some of those who call and write praising you, have not even bothered to come and walk the hot streets and look into the children’s eyes..

for us at pwhy it has been ‘recognition month‘, newspapers, tv channels rotary Club and more…

I feel both amused and livid when I have to answer a call where after saying that the person wants to do a shoot or interview or hand a piece of paper he quicly asks: by the way what is it exactly that you do? or what is the nature of your work?

A dear friend who holds most of the media of today in contempt is even upset that I accept and go through the motion each time and get hurt almost every time…

But then when you hold the future of trusting children, like the one who sleeps in the picture, in your tired and feeble hands you cannot afford to brush anything away, as maybe, in spite of all the galling occurences, there maybe one person who will reach out…

So you carry on…. and deal with the hurt and the upsets by writing blogs such as this…

And sometimes add a touch of humour laced in sarcasm… as that is the only thing that helps..

Maybe all this is just a reflection of our times, when everyone is in a hurry, where ridng piggy back on others is the accepted norm, where a good story is the one that makes you cry in dispair or run in disgust…

So just as there are food festivals and commercial promotion weeks, there is maybe also pwhy award month

And as all things must past, this is will also go by and we will get back to our normal life.. a little angry, a little sad and a little tired… but ready to move on

C’est la vie!

The doctors have given their verdict
Utpal does not have the dreaded B virus but just a severe bout of hepatitis A

Utpal will have time to conquer more hearts and to share his laughter with many
I can only say that this happened because of all those who petitioned Gods of all colours and hues, even those who do not believe, but who decided to do so just this once…
And even the most forbidding deity had no choice but to make an exception and oblige…
Our little man just smiled when I held him…
And I saw what looked like a snake scurrying away into its hole

St Exupery’s beautiful fable has never ceased to fascinate me.

I got my first copy of the little prince as a young teenager in Algiers, a city so close to the sahara desert where he made his landfall. I would have never guessed that this beautiful tale would weave itself into the very fabric of my life…

It has provided me anwers where all else failed, given me direction when all seemed dark…

When I first heard Utpal laugh, months after his terrible ordeal with fire I heard myself murmur:
“little man, I want to hear you laugh again..”
At that moment I had not understood how deep that intuitive comparaison would turn out to be…
Many of you know that as I write these words, we wait for the verdict of the men in white, the words that will reveal the coordinates of his tryst with the snake..
As I wait, many of the questions that I asked myself over the years spent discovering the unfathomable mysteries of this tiny fable suddenly assume a new clarity:
Did the little prince appear to elucidate the true meaning of love, friendship, and other human feelings, or simply to tell the aviator that he would find the well and hence live!
Or was the little prince urging the aviator to start looking with his heart as he would not live long (st exupery passed away one year after writing the little prince)
Does the true meaning of the gift of the fox stop at explaining love as we see it, or does it ask us to take that extra step and understand that love has to be selfless to the point of letting go of the other, even it it means accepting the coming of the snake…

Many times, I have seen a seriousness bordering mysticism in little utpal. His reactions to ordinary occurences often have a profound meaning. He has provided answers to puzzling dilemnas. His ability to walk into people’s heart in no time is almost frightening, making one worry why he is in such a hurry…

What is Utpal trying to tell me.. that sometimes one has to take decisions that are not the obvious ones. That we humans cannot play god and that the inevitable has to happen. That sometimes people meet for a short time but one that is rich in rewards for both…
and the ultimate lesson that love means to accept the snake at the appropriate time as maybe that is the best one…

I urge all of you that have met him and those that have come to know him through my words to help me take the steps that the little prince expects me to…

so help me god!

i urge those of you who have not read the little prince to do so. but beware just like utpal, he walks into your heart!

look at this smile…

it belongs to a lovely lady I have never met in person, but who has walked into my heart across the screen of my computer.
sarmishtha is a software engineer and hold on a film maker!
she came to know about project why and decided to help… and it was not a simple cheque in the mail box or a click on the paypal button of our website, no sir!.. she decided to support our work by contributing a generous percentage of the net revenues of her maiden venture: french fries and curry ..
i sit and wonder what makes people like this young graduate of Berkeley University click! what miracle of creation ensured that her heart was in the right place and not lost in alien land..
i do not have the answer..
i have walked this planet for over half a century, and one thing is certain: whenever i seemed to be an inch of losing faith in humanity, a miracle always happened to steer me back on course.. that is how i have been able to carry on…
with the help of smiles like the one you see, and maybe an ocasional plate of french fries…

ninety three
two simple digits, but ones that should have tranformed the lives of the children of India:
I am referring to the ninety third amendment to the constitution of India..

It took half a century for the children of Independant India to get the right to free education. It should be a cause of celebration… but then all is not well on planet India…

A few weeks back a senior government official asked me whether I would like to ‘take over’ the local municipal school. At first I thought it was a joke.. but soon realised the person was serious…

I was in the presence of the so called privatisation of education, that one had been hearing of for some time.

My blood ran cold…

The state was simply abdicating its duty towards education and handing it over to whoever would want it… and i why should anyone want it if not for commercial reasons.. we were not talking philantrophy here…

Yes it is the fashion of the day to hand over what one is not able to run, be it a natural resource like water to the running of complex organisations like power, to mundane ones like garbage collection… but has anyone stopped to think what this would mean…

Handing over municipal schools to commercial interests simply means denying millions of children their constitutional right to education… yes i am sure some palliative will be found, some form of literacy or the other for which someone will find a befitting and conscious easing name… and society wil be further divided..

An easy way to solve problems.. maybe next time we cannot handle our own children let us give them to the highest bidder!

citizen one
was the award that a daily paper decided to select me for..

moment of great joy for the younger gang of project why who are still, thank god, simple hearted and honest and thus view life that away, a gang ably led by shamika..

moment of bewilderment and some satisfaction i must confess as i am but human…
and then on 29th April a ceremony with to add glamour and glitterati, a bollywood actor..

to many this would seem to be ‘my big moment’ .. messages drop by the mail box, for many it seemed one had ‘got there‘..

but i ask myself ‘got where‘ as the reality stares at me, a reality that becomes scarry…

let me first share what i wrote to the Today Editor on the very next morning

“…
it was wonderful meeting you yesterday
and i would like to thank you for having given me this unique moment
i feel humbled
i hope that this recognition will help in getting the children of
delhi access to meaningful education and this can only be possible if
the people of delhi come forward and help sustain such initiatives
we feel that true development can only take place in a democratic way
when we realise that each one of us have a role to play
we have a small initiative called just one rupee a day which we feel
is very doable
our work necessitates about 4000 one-rupee-day donors … not 4000 rs
a day but 4000 one rupee donors, therein lies the difference between
‘charity’ and commitment
i did mention it to vivek oberoi ( who said he might help). mr arun
purie wondered how we could collect the same. well we can as we have
evolved mechanisms we feel would work…
to me it is not a matter of simply getting pwhy to continue, it is
more an approach to community development and empowerment
and Today is the right instrument for this approach
in a country like India no matter how many individuals there are,
numbers will never be reached unless we evolve a model that is steered
and maintained by the very community one wants to reach
the award i received yesterday was great positive stroking (i am but
human) but to me its true vindication is when and if it brings about a
real change in mindsets. our city, which lies too close to power for
its own good, has lost its heart, maybe we can help it find it
again…”

any award that carries a name like citizen one is definitely weighty (just like the statue given). one cannot just walk away and do nothing. such recognition does compel you to do something larger and more meaningful… and that becomes even more difficult when most of those who write in, feel that somehow that one event has solved all your problems..

i will have to stay clear of pits in which i may fall, of easy way outs that will take away from project why the very spirit that allowed it to reach where it has.. and walk the planet one day at a timei feel more alone than i ever was, longing for the comfort of being just one tiny project reaching out to a handful of children, and above all i know that not matter how many kuddos land my way, i have to keep myself together and remember that it is only by remaining humble that i can achieve something meaningful…

it is now that i need the support and goodwill of all those who have walked with me this far..

there are many ways opened to project why, and one will have to chose the right one…

so help me god!

we have our own little prince.. a three year old bundle of pure joy named Utpal.

he suffered third degree burns when he was one and everyone gave up on him, even the men in white, but we did not…

today he fights for his life again as he has been diagnosed with a damaged liver..

we are all shattered… and wonder why he should be made to suffer again…

i can but think of st exupery’s beautiful fable ‘the little prince’ and draw analogies: just like the little prince, utpal seems to have come to bring joy, happiness and love to some many of us.

he is busy discovering the multitude of sub-planets that make our planet Earth. Last week he met with a fiver star hotel and a strange water body called a ‘pool’. bewildered at first, he finally entered the pool and then perplexed looked around and asked for soap!

Utpal’s journey on this planet continues.. he has a wide network of friends from the world over as utpal is a master at walking into people’s heart…

there is still so much more for him to discover.. walk by the sea, sail in a boat, feel the caress of a snow flake, climb a coconut tree…

and yet, for all those who know the tale of the little prince, their is a serpent waiting…

i just wish he loses his way…

for those of you who do not know him, here he is, but beware he may just walk into your heart too..

wedding planners 2,
originally uploaded by anu musings.

this morning i watched project why’s very own wedding planners at work and boy was i amazed…
somehow i never realised the meticulous work that these two girls had put over the past weeks..
two dinners, the ceremonies from the boy and girls side, an elephant for the groom, the music, the DJ, a photographer, the wedding cards, everything executed with discreet efficiency while going about they day-to-day work…
my eyes were somewhat moist as i watched in silence…